Starting Chemo in April 2014

All the pixies are very cute!

Welcome to the April thread, MameMe. Sounds like you have had a lot happening in a short time.  Hoping the side effects from the Taxol are not too bad.  I see you are from Maine - hope the snow is gone. We spend the summer half of the year in Maine, but will be delayed getting there this year.

Good luck with the cut Blueberry.  I would love to see a picture!

It's wonderful to hear you are feeling well LongIsland - enjoy your day!  I'm right there with you, with my next treatment being a week from today.  The biggest issue right now is the pain/discomfort from my left TE.  Wondering if any of you other ladies with them are also experiencing that.

Hi all,

Made it through a rough weekend.  Not looking forward to that again.  Saw my BS this am- he tested my port and it worked perfectly!  So he cancelled my test at the hospital and called my MO.  I am feeling better today, so ran a few errands with DH.  

Cold- thanks for the encouragement - I really needed it!

Hugs to all,  lilyrose

Mompv - big cyber hugs your way!!  It is so hard to deal with all this stuff - I have good days and bad days - and  sometimes I just cry and I don't even know what I am crying about.  Sometimes I feel so alone as no one around me really understands how I feel - then I come in here and read a post from someone having the same feelings and then I know I am not alone and you are not alone.  Let us know what your surgery will be and join the Month of surgery thread - it was priceless to me to be able to talk about my surgery with people going through the same thing.  

Went wig shopping before my BS appt .... Don't think I will rock the pixie :-(. Will probably go with a short bob and the gal at the cancer store said she would come in and shave my head when I feel like it is coming out.  Going to think about it ... Not getting haircut until Saturday.  Have to admit I was disappointed that the short ones really didn't do anything for me. Oh well, it isn't forever!

Mompv-  you are not a statistic you are a fighter!  I am also triple negative and not to make anyone else feel bad, but triple negatives tend to respond better to chemo according to my MO.  Please stay off Dr. Google, much of that info is outdated and frightening.  There is a TNBC thread on here with some awesome gals that focus on what works for them and you should visit too.  I do understand the need to cry. Everything feels uncertain in the beginning and then you realize that life is not that bad, just different. 

Hey Everyone...Please remember to plan at least one fun thing to do each week that you can look forward to.  You need it for your mental health!  And, if you want to have some fun with people who ask what they can do to help you tell them you'd like to schedule a foot massage from them.  No need to lose your sense of humor.  

Do something that makes you giggle too, mine was eating a little jar of baby food (fruit). I don't know why, it just did. You'll get some great looks from your teenagers.  When your hair comes back in and you have a different style then you did the last 10 yrs+ somehow that becomes cool too.  See, something to look forward to. 

Soft hugs to all

Ladies

I start my chemo in the morning and have been crying all day. I really am so stressed about this. I am taking TCH. I am 51 and had a lumpectomy on March 12 and my tumor was 1.3 cm with 0/3 lymph nodes. My cancer was the three positives. My sil just told me she went into anaphylactic shock from the t of the chemo. That isn't helping me deal with this too well. I tried Ativan for anxiety and it made it worse. I have a very unsympathetic husband who is like why are you in such a crabby and horrible mood tonight. Well duh why would I be. I seriously want to cancel this and say the hell with it. I can't take the stress. Sorry I am beyond stressed.

Shellbell I was really scared about the Taxotere too. I have so many allergies I thought sure I would have trouble with that too. But I didn't. The nurses take it very slow with that drug and they told me that can reverse the reaction immediately if need be. They have everything they need ready to go just in case. I am so sorry you are not getting the support you need…I know how hard this is. Try to take it one day at a time…sometimes I have to take it one minute at a time. You can do this. Hugs.

Mompv - I too can get so scared about certain aspects of what I am facing….but it helps me to remember that a lot of those statistics involve many different scenarios and I can't really compare. I am sorry you are feeling so blue….I get it though. Hugs to you.

Today is day 5 and I am sick of being sick. Had a good little cry tonight. Headaches are better but still there. Everything kind of aches. I did work for about 6 hours today and over my lunch break I went with a friend for her mammogram. She is a mammogram-phobe and is over 3 years overdue, yet she has a grandma and 4 aunts who breast cancer! We got it done! 

Mompv - sorry you find yourself joining here.  I too, am TN.  Did the same as you- googled and scared the stuffing out of myself!  Stay away from google.  There are plenty of us TN's on here.  Also the triplenegativebreastcancer foundation is a great place for info.  My BS and MO have been very positive influences on my outlook.  Some days are just harder than others.  Let yourself cry.  The women on here will support you every step of the way.

Shellbell- again, sorry to welcome you here.  But you will find some amazing friends on here!  I had my first chemo last week, and that's when it really hit me.  I felt good after my surgery, so somehow I guess I was in denial.  I don't know how ANYONE can get a diagnosis of cancer and NOT feel crabby or stressed!  You can always come here to vent.  We understand.  

Hugs to you!  lilyrose

Good Evening Ladies! I took my LAST dose of antibiotics this morning and they are finally starting to wear off, so I actually feel ALMOST NORMAL. Three days of almost normal before the next dose of chemo? I will TAKE IT!  I'm not at all excited about Round 2 on Friday, but I'm trying to focus on the next 3 SE-free days. Thinking I might take a little trip to Michaels and get my craft on.

Holly & Nana: You look so YOUNG with your new cuts! Don't you just love how the pixie cut takes weight off your head and years off your face and offers up some SASS to go with it?

lillyrose: I am so happy to hear you're feeling better.

mompv: Linda gives great advice. One of the first and best words of wisdom someone gave me after I was diagnosed was "Stay OFF the internet." There is just so much outdated and misinformation out there. Dr. Google isn't a very good doctor, I'm afraid, and he just causes more anxiety.

blueberry: I can not wait to see your new cut! Sending courage for you tomorrow - I know how hard the initial cut can be. You'll look gorgeous- I know it!

linda: LOVE the story about the girl who cut your hair. Thanks so much for sharing - it makes me feel better somehow to hear about wonderful things like that.

shellbell: I am so sorry you have to be here. But this group of ladies is amazing, and we are all here for you. We've all been there with the crying and raging and wailing and gnashing of teeth. Chemo is scary. I was super nervous, and it turned out my first chemo treatment was super-duper boring. And that's all. Just boring. I'm told that severe allergic reactions are rare, but the oncology nurses are very, VERY prepared for anything that might happen. And they'll go slowly and monitor ANY reactions at all. Bring a funny book or trashy magazine along. Or buy yourself an ipad with your husband's credit card (Take THAT honey! HA!), and load it up with ridiculous games to keep you occupied. For me that was the hardest part of Chemo Day - finding things to keep me amused while I just SAT there for hours. I'll be thinking of you tomorrow and sending prayers your way. 

Oh, and P.S. Make sure you all have a sleep hat for when your hair falls out. It gets COLD at night. I don't know how bald boys do this in Winter...  

I agree Sunshine…it is so hard for people to understand what we are going through, this group is like a port in the storm. Biotene mouth wash (and toothpaste) has really helped my mouth so no sores yet. Headaches have been my biggest issue. 

I will say after the last 3 days (my worst days) I was really wondering how I am going to add more to this. I decided this morning I have to stop thinking ahead and just stay in today and work through what is on my plate today. It is so overwhelming to think about doing this 3 more times!! I can't go there.

Welcome Mompv!!  Linda is so right - everyone here really does understand what you're going through and we're all here to support each other. This thread has already been a huge help to me.  I have my good days and bad and also just cry for no reason.  I know it's normal...just hard sometimes for the people around us to understand as they just feel helpless.

And Linda - your haircut story is the sweetest!! There are angels all around us.

Sharon - your wild ferret comment made me laugh!  I found that a lot of the wigs I tried on had WAY too much going on with the hair in my face and just too much of it!

Shellbell - sending positive thoughts your way and hoping it isn't as big of a deal as you thought.  Same for you on Thursday Janet.  I found the whole day to be very uneventful other than being sleepy.  The next 4-6 days were a little fluish feeling for me and then I snapped back to normal.  I pray it is goes smoothly for you both and hoping you are about to turn a corner too Nana!

Cold - I am so glad to hear your feeling better!!  Enjoy your SE free days and hopefully round 2 is better now that you know what to expect.

Well today is the day!!  I'm shedding so tonight after work my sister in law is going to buzz my head along with my son (10), daughter (7), niece (7) and nephew (4).  My kids were so excited about it this morning, so how could I not be excited along with them.  I've started to notice that without nose hairs I'm getting a drippy nose.  I'll be needing the warmth of my wig and scarfs as it's only now getting into the 60's and 70's here in WI.  My blood work from yesterday showed an increase in my white cells so - yay - I don't feel as vulnerable to infection!  When the nurse called to tell me I also told her about my mouth sores and she ordered me up the Magic Mouthwash and I have to say it's nice.  A lot better than the baking soda/salt wash I was doing and it really helped with the pain.  Have you tried that yet Jen?  

Hugs to all my new friends and wishing you all something to smile about today!

Holly 

Hope everyone is doing well today.  I had a pre-chemo dental checkup and cleaning today.  They gave me a tube of "MI Paste Plus" to put on my teeth every night - it looks like it's primarily fluoride.  Guess I will need to check to make sure it's ok to use it.

1st tx is Thursday.  I start the dexamethasone steroid tomorrow.  Thanks to all of your posts, I'm not so nervous about the actual chemo, but anxious about SEs.  Thanks for the tip on the drink, Sunshine.

Hello from the chemo suite! Today was my first day of AC and thanks to you all I was not nearly as nervous as I would have been. It's all gone smoothly, nothing hurt, but I did use my emla. I had blankets and pillows and snacks. I hope all the other first timers today did okay.