Starting Chemo in December 2013

Kim, thanks for the link for the Women's Survivors Convention. I don't know if I can bring myself to attend. I think everything is a little raw for me right now, and I'm afraid I would just cry the whole time.  I have cried very few times since I began this journey, so maybe not. Hopefully, I would just get stronger by being around all those awesome ladies. 

I live only about 100 miles from Nashville. I was actually married at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel where the convention is being held. This year is my 20th wedding anniversary. The convention might be an excellent way to celebrate 20 years. My wedding was in mid-November, and the hotel was decorated for Christmas. It is a beautiful hotel if you've never been there. Of course there is something to be said for "Southern Hospitality". 

Hope you December ladies are doing well. I met with my BS today for my 2 week post-mastectomy recheck. He went over everything that my MO had discussed from the surgery. I felt better after he drew everything out (literally). I think I have scared him so much with my binder with tabs (a tab for diagnosis, every treatment, every consultation, and now surgery/reconstruction) that he draws all of my procedures out while he talks to me. My MO is scared too, but he just smiles and pats me on the knee while he just looks at my husband like he's saying "poor Jeff." I think he's secretly impressed with my organizational skills. Now, if I could only figure out how to create the same effect with my iPad!

Keep smilin', keep shinin'...

thanks robin you made me smile this morning with your post. New avatar? Looks good, you have lots of hair! Anxious about mine, 1 more dd taxol and sparse white stubble maybe 1/8" present. Wear scarves or my new abbey caps all the time, occasionally wig but its irritating now with the stubble underneath, makes my hair hurt after a few hours!

lisa- your last DD Taxol is Monday right? I'll be thinking of you girl. Monday is my 17 year anniversary of getting engaged to my hubby ( we will be married 14 years this year). In Texas it is also known as San Jacinto Day. It's the battle where Texas won it's independence from Santa Anna. 

My last DD Taxol is Thursday the 24th. 

We are fighting with insurance to be able to go to an out of network provider for rads as he is the only one with in 35 miles of me. Looks like there's about a 60% chance I'll have to go into Austin for radiation.  Which means 1-2 hour drive (depending on where in Austin) one way. I don't mind the drive really.  It's the gas and finding childcare that's going to hurt us. 

Kimie. - I'm sorry about your news on rads too. It's crazy that with all the people that have cancer that there aren't places where treatment centers are closer to people. But I am glad that they are being cautious with your heart. 

yes holli my last dd taxol is Monday. I like the analogy...Now the date is my battle too, winning my independence from chemo! It's funny how I'm excited about feeling crummy for the days after but excited to be done. I feel empowered, like I've accomplished an amazing feat, like running a marathon or more like completing an ironman! If we've done this then we can conquer the world or do anything, right! I know it's cliché but I feel "positive" today, strong! I think I have a good defense mechanism going on and I have actually "forgotten" the misery of the first few weeks. It's there if I think about it, and i acknowledge it, but i dont dwell on it and  I just think that I did this incredible thing...kind of like when we had our kids and then forget the pain going through it but are left with something precious and beautiful afterwards. Now we are left with our precious and beautiful life ahead and we fought the fight and will continue!

Just relishing in my good feeling today...join me ladies whoever is up for it! Wish I could meet everyone of you and do a group hug {{{ }}}. Have a good weekend everyone and happy Easter to those that celebrate.

Trying to figure out what to wear and bring to my last chemo day. Any fun ideas?

I will say I'm happily surprised by my hair growth, I took this selfie from the side, I did shave my head bald about 4 or 5 weeks ago due to the white fuzz, still have some white fuzz but it is coming in thicker and more color and I'm surprised at the growth.  I have sparse eyebrows yet, and not many lashes but I see those coming in too.  With two more chemo left I suppose the facial hair will all drop off later as well.

Kimie, I despise when plans change. Sorry this is happening. 

Lisa and Holli, so close now!!

Jackie, it is really coming in!

Thanks for the comiments on the avatar. Will apologize now if my post put anyone off. I tend to lose my filters at 2:30-3:00am on a steroid high. Did not get to sleep until 5:00am, woke up at 8:45. Thank heavens for naps.

Amazing Grace for Good Friday/Easter/Passover 

A duet by myself and Odessa. She joined and added high harmony to my verses! 

I think I finally hit the taxol wall with #10 yesterday. Always  Fridays were Energizer Bunny days form the steroids and my low point was Sunday bouncing back on Monday. Last week bounce back was not until Tue. Today I am exhausted, slept poorly as usual but just no energy at all today.  Came home from work at 1 PM today and my husband decided I needed to take him to get blood drawn since he was not feeling good.  At least I convinced him that he did not need to go to the emergency room ( and sit for hours there) but just get blood tests done.. After doing that I needed to go get milk and bananas, since he was insistent that I needed to get them today and he could not wait until tomorrow. Now I am flat on my back on the couch, lucky to have left over pizza from yesterday since I am NOT making any dinner tonight. Unfortunately my  husband is not any help, he has Huntingtons Disease and it is progressing rapidly the past year. He has no ability to wait for anything ,like a little kid if he wants something it has to be now, or he gets very upset.  I have hired a woman for 4-5 hours a day to stay with him while I am at work, I should have sent her to the store today while I took him to the lab. 

Can not wait for the next two weeks to be over

I counted one eyebrow hair left  on the left and 2 on the right, no lower lashes at all. . just hoping to hold onto my remaining upper eyelashes.

Best to all who got treatment this week and jealous of those finished.  Have a good Easter to those celebrating.

Barbara

hugs Barbara!  I have not heard of that disease, but my heart goes out to both of you facing big battles at the same time.  

Chemo blues? Is this maybe because the end is in sight?  Or just physical and emotional exhaustion.  I am really getting tired these days:( I hate it.  However, I agree with whoever said this is a marathon or iron man!  I was just thinking about how similar they were and poof someone else wrote it lol.  I guess I am around mile 20 now.  The end is in sight but I am so tired I would love to just stop.  But there is no way I would ever when the finish line is right there.  But so freaking tired!!  My red blood count has been low the whole time, so maybe it is a combo with anemia.

Hair, skin and nails-  I saw a commercial for them and they are biotin. Anyone using that or just straight biotin. I'd like to go ahead and start taking them next week.  Anyone have any luck with scar lotion on the chest? I was thinking about trying mederma PM.  Not that the scars matter but curious if it worked.  

Barbara, you as well have your hands full!  Remember to take care of you as well, that's hard for women...I'm guilty as well.  My mom is here now from SD she had shoulder surgery 10 days ago and I had my daughter bring her to me since I can't go there, she is in a sling for 6 weeks and with worthless brothers I know she won't get the help she needs at her home...this is the way it's suppose to be, I'm 51, she's 74... I'm suppose to help her now.  She was here for my BMX and I think my chemo scares her so she stayed away but I know she wanted to be here, so we can now be in recovery together, with my DH and my daughter here we will do fine.

I finally slept last night with the help of an ambien, boy those things work well!  I was so exhausted from no sleep.  

I bought the hair, nails, skin vitamins anxiously awaiting to take them, they pack that biotin in them.  Also read about the liquid Biosil or collagen stuff, anyone taking that?  Happy Easter all!

wonderful about tomorrow, Lisa. 11 more says for my last one. Can not tell that I am counting every hour until then.  You doing Rads next?  

Scary to think about not going to chemo every week when it is done.  Hopefully the poison has killed all those little aliens invaders. 

Good luck tomorrow, any tears will be happy ones. 

Barbara

Lisa I will be doing my last chemo tomorrow as well! For some reason today i'm just emotional! I can not wait to be done.....it's gone so fast, yet at the same time has gone so slow.  

I had to make a trip to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN on Friday to meet with my plastic surgeon.  He wanted to make sure my expander was full enough before radiation begins in May.  Happy to report all is good and he was thrilled with how well the boob looks.  It seriously just looks like a boob with no nipple now.  The vertical scar is barely visible and I"m happy with how it looks.  I have made the choice to have my right side removed as well and will have that done when he puts in the implant later this year.  

I never made anything for my nurses for tomorrow....maybe I should have? yikes! It seems like every week they have all this food there from pharmaceutical reps so I didn't even think of bringing any goodies! 

I have been fighting a cold all week so hoping my counts will be fine for chemo.....Good luck everybody for your week ahead! 

Michelle 

Missy,  great news that you will also be done tomorrow.  Make a fast get away when you are done!

Barbara

missy-woohoo, you too tomorrow! And holli you on thurs! 

Missy baking is therapeutic for me and I haven't done it for a while so I know I'm back to "normal".. ...almost. I feel like I've conquered the world! I'm excited yet scared and just hope we did enough to get rid of the beast.

Barb, yes I'll make a fast get away except that I'll be returning to the same bldg for rads. I really believe the hard part is over. Nothing can get me now!!!

Kjfromca-like your new avatar.  How's the hair coming in. Decided to change my avatar as well, to the way I used to look. I'm so ready for the old me, even though I know it will be a while. Will never complain about bad hair days ever. I long for a bad hair day now!

Good luck everyone with their treatments this week.

Spring is finally here in upstate ny. Time for new beginnings, right?

missy- Let's git 'r done today! And all holli, chicopeach you too this week.

so happy for all being done with the poison this week!  

I have allot of back and leg pain, like spasms.  Biggest issue seems to be fluid buildup all over, I can't wear certain shoes and my rings have been gone awhile now.  I see MO tomorrow, I'm wondering about taking a water pill for this.  I'm up 20 pounds since my surgery, very frustrating!