Starting Chemo in December 2013
Comments
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so frustrated with my mom. She has never been much help (She lives less than 3 miles from me) even before the cancer. Had to beg for her to watch kids. Plus my 2 sisters ( 32 and 27) live with her. She puts up a good front for everyone about how helpful she is. But she actually does very little. Promised to help the weekend after my last chemo so my MIL doesn't have to come up here (she's been coming from out if town every other week to help us after infusions) again and can get a break. My mom hasn't helped because she rodeos but that last weekend she had free. My dad said yesterday that they had plans the weekend after Easter. So I asked my mom about it. And she said that they were going out of town and had had it planned for months. What?! A month ago you asked me to send you my schedule and you promised you would help that last chemo!! When I told her this she said she didn't forget about me just forgot she promised my dad. Isn't that the same thing? Then she made more excuses. I'm so mad and hurt.
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Kim - what a great write up on the photographer' site. Pictures look glamorous.
Hope all goes well with Rads.
I am counting down 15 days to last chemo.
Barbara
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Holli, sounds like your Mom is in denial about your cancer or else she just can not understand the debilitation of chemo combined with small children.
Last chemo for you this week- what a wonderful feeling that is. Wishing you a good last treatment.
Barbara
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thanks Barbara. She has always frequented the land of denial. It was bad before cancer too. She's broken promises before with helping with the kids. But if one of their friends wanted to do something or go somewhere they jump to to bend over backwards for them. I'm just really hurt by it. My sisters are the same way. I think I must have been left on the doorstep or something.
Last chemo is april 24th!!
Anyone watch the little couple? Saw a rerun yesterday. Jen was having her last chemo. Pretty emotional.
Holli
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Holli, I'm sorry to hear that your Mom isn't helping you. I would be hurt too! Especially after you had already made arrangements with her. I can't imagine how you must feel. You don't need that extra stress right now. I know it's easier said than done, but try to let it go. It is her loss.
I am on lucky #13 today! Off on Friday, so will have to make up at the end. One more month!
Happy Hump Day!
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Barbara- I think she understands. But uses denial as a way to keep doing what she wants to do and not make sacrifices to help anyone else. That sounds so bitter of me but I really feel that's it.
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Holli - Sorry about the situation with your mom. I have issues with my mom as well. There is nothing wrong with calling it like it is. I am glad to hear that your MIL is there to help. I am much closer to my husband's family than I am with my family. I will be married 29 years on Easter, so I have been married longer than I lived at home. Our moms are the ones who suffer in the long run from not being close to their grandkids.
Keepthefaith - My right breast is so dense that I have to have an MRI. That was why my bc didn't show on my left breast in 2012. Glad to hear that you are handling rads well so far. Me too, trying to get as much done as I can in case I get sore towards the end and have to take it easy. Have a good day.
Kim - I will check out that blog. Thanks for sharing.
Have a good day ladies,
Kim
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Holli- are we sisters??? Omg! This is my life. My mom has come two times to help with the kids and she went once with me to Houston. This was at the very beginning. I have to pay a babysitter $300 to stay with the kids when I go to Houston next week. This is the second time that I have had to do this because we have no one to help with the kids:(. $600 would have been nice in my bank account. My MIL hasn't come at all. However, she is coming this weekend because she wants to have Easter. Last time we saw her was Thanksgiving. She just wants holidays when it is not cancer stuff. Now, my dad has been sick all winter, but my mom wasn't helping before he got sick. She did not come in for my BMX. When the doctor came out and said it was bad, my sister called her and told her she needed to get her @()$ up here. She stayed two days. Unfortunately, we have no family that helps here. DH has an aunt (MIL's sister) who has not come by once. Although my middle daughter was in her daughters wedding the day of my first infusion! Spent $125 on a flower girl dress and missed the wedding due to this and you can't stop by?? It has made my relationship with DH stronger. He has had to step up with the girls. I'll have #15 next week, and we will recoup alone after just like all the others. No one has ever come in to help after chemo. Just me, DH and our three amigos. My girls have been through a lot, but I am so proud of them. Maybe people don't like helping us because we have kids. But it makes it hard and at times extremely depressing to feel so isolated. And then I have friends in town who get a flipping cold, and there moms take the kids for the night. I can't even imagine that world:(. And my mom and mil post about me ALL the time on FB like they are concerned but really just want attention. My mom comments the craziest stuff on the Cheer FB page. I have to delete some because it sounds very insensitive and I am embarrassed she wrote it or thought it. I just pray this is almost over for good.
Wow that felt good lol!!! No mouth sores y'all!!! Fingers crossed:). I haven't gotten my new wig in yet, but when I do I will post a pic! It's real hair so I can curl it and straighten it:). Looking forward to styling something!
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Barbara, I'm with you on the 15 day countdown, sounds better than 3 to go!
I don't understand the family who won't help and pitch in, denial probably but also sounds like some selfishness. I also believe no one really knows what we go through with all of this, I know I don't let it all out only to not upset my family, cancer is a terrifying word and the treatment is even worse. When our treatment ends we still will live with this, meds for many of us for a long time, and of course the fear of reoccurance...physically now we are broken down, but emotionally it's always with us now. I don't want to dwell on that, I want to live like I never did before because I know how precious being healthy is now. I think it's fair to let family members know you are disappointed in their lack of help and understanding, their lives go on ours has stopped as we have known it.
When I went through a nasty divorce 7 years ago, I wanted everyone mad at him and as hurt as I was, my counselor said they can't feel your pain because their relationship with him is not like yours was with him. So, I believe it relates here as well, they can't feel our pain because they aren't living it. I also know I am a different mom to my kids than my mom was to me, I tell them and show them every chance I get how precious they are to me and I don't hold back, my mom did.
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Count me in on the difficult mother relationship front . . . I actually have not seen my parents since Dx. They do live a long drive away (it's about an 8hr drive) but I still find it weird that they haven't come up here. Initially, my dad had surgery and then had to recover from that. But that was back in Jan/Feb. It is a form of denial. They don't want to believe it's really that bad. Fortunately, I haven't needed their help with the kids - we have our regular fulltime babysitter plus our neighbors have been AWESOME. We live squished into a teeny house but I feel like I could never leave this awesome closeknit neighborhood where everyone pitches in to help their neighbors. I think it's pretty rare these days!
Just back from the mammo/US/MRI triple whammy. The doc had not looked at the MRI yet, so I don't won't have left (good) breast news until Tuesday. News on my right breast was good-ish. She did not tell me that she thought the cancer was completely gone, but she said it looked really good and much, much smaller. She also told me that the calcifications near the mass were still there - she wouldn't expect them to change from chemo - and the surgeon will need to take those too when she does the lumpectomy. There are 1 - 1.5cm of calcifications. This was the first time I heard this - I guess I was hoping that there would only need to be surgery of a teeny area but it will be a bit bigger. I will meet with BS on Tuesday and can talk with her then.
After all that, I went and did something fun with my girls and our babysitter. We are on spring break & leaving tomorrow for the beach. I promised my girls their first mani/pedi. They are just 6 and 9, and I know this was spoiling them. We all four of us got mani/pedis. The girls got designs on their toes. We're all ready for the beach now:)!
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have a great and safe trip!!!
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kimie, great stories and pictures!
Orangie, have a fun trip!
Parents issues could be tricky. After my diagnose, both my mom and MIL came and stayed with us for a period of time. I am grateful they wanted to help, but it was not easy to live with both of them under the same roof.
I went to see RO today to plan for rad. I am glad to start forming plans. He recommended 25 rad with 5 boosts? He also said I could start rad a week after chemo. I would love to get everything out of way, but will one week post chemo too soon? For those ladies doing rad, how long did you wait before starting rad?
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any of you ladies have teeth and jaw pain with Taxol? I'm 6 days out of 3rd DD Taxol and my teeth and jaw are killing me.
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holli, my teeth hurt a lot during taxol. It comes and goes.
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It is very heartbreaking hearing about all of you that have moms and sisters that seem to be in denial and are not helping out. They truly do not understand what we all go through dealing with fear, anxiety, pain, and side effects. They do not understand how much a hug from them and a little helping hand would mean. I am 59 and have long lost my parents but I have an older sister who comes to Florida for the winter and she has been my "wing-man." She has been by my side since my dx, through every dr. appt., every test/scan, and every chemo. I have been so grateful she has been here, now even more hearing your stories. I have 3 daughters and a son all with busy lives and children but at times they have also helped with rides to get blood work and shots and drug store runs. I feel very blessed to have the help but I am feeling guilty I am taking so much of their time especially my sister. Her husband has Parkinson's so she is taking care of him too and now is usually when they head back north. They have 2 daughters and 2 grandchildren that are looking forward to them coming home. Now I feel they are staying on my account. I have 2 more taxols, 1 tomorrow and then 3 weeks from now will be my last one. My last one will be the Thursday before mother's day and I want my sister to be with her kids and grandchildren on that day and yet I want her with me to celebrate my last chemo...I have been trying to figure out how to let her know it is ok to go I will understand. She did say she was going to take her husband home and come back when I have surgery. Her daughter posted a conversation she had with her son on facebook about when they were coming home that they missed them....I will figure it out but hearing your stories made me cry...I just don't understand why a parent wouldn't want to help her daughter during such a time...I am so so sorry and heartbroken for you. I can not imagine how any of you with small children are getting through this and how some of you are even working. I don't think I would be able to keep quiet...I probably would be on the phone crying my eyes out to my mother and asking her why she is acting the way she is...then I would just be angry. I applaud you all for toughening it out all these months with such dignity and courage with all that you have on your plates...keep smiling we are all close to that finish line!!!
Charlotte
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j4dc, My Mo wouldn't release me to the RO until I did labs 3 wks PFC and RO wouldn't start until they got the final word. I am at a Cancer Center, that works closely together. Maybe they have a different protocol where you are. I started about 5 wks out finally, by the time they got the planning done, etc. Personally, I would think you would want to wait longer than a wk. It took me a few wks for the SE's to play out from chemo. Maybe you could ask your MO if you aren't sure.
Holli, I had jaw pain for about a week or two after my first TC...then, it disappeared. Bothered me mostly at night when I laid on the one side. Hopefully yours will go away, too. I think you have had every possible SE there is, girl! You need a break somewhere soon.
orange, enjoy your time away and forget about BC!!!
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the tops of my feet have a burning feeling, felt it all night while trying to sleep, and they feel bloated. Also my hand joints hurt and are stiff, mostly my thumb joints...this the start of neuropathy? I am just bloated feeling everywhere, I know I'm not drinking enough water, but for ladies done with chemo does this go away? Any weight loss also those that are done? I've been walking as much as I can and have tried to eat healthier and not as much for this weight gain, but the scale is still not moving down at all and I just feel like a big ball. Off to #10 today, ugggggg
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Jackieak. Sitting in the chair getting taxol number 10 as we speak. My neuropathy is kind of funny tingly slightly burning feeling but my feet feel tight like they are in a tight boot or cast. It is probably a bit of neuropathy but with 9 treatments under your belt and just starting now it will hopefully be temporary.
Mu feet actually feel better with walking. During the day I can just ignore it most of the time. Are you taking any extra B vitamins, B6, B 12 or L Glutamine?
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thanks Barbara, I have been fortunate not to have this from the start, I haven't been icing my feet only hands each week, so it's my own fault. Only take multivitamins daily, bought the L glut but haven't really used it. I will be ecstatic when we are both getting #12....I hope this bloating goes away soon after done.
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Jackieak- I have the bloating too. I haven't gained weight per the scale, but I look 9 months pregnant. It's worse anytime I eat or drink anything. I can't wear my rings either. I'm wondering if the bloating is from the steroids? Although I've found it to be worse on Taxol. I don't remember the bloating being this bad in AC.
Keeptgefaith- it does seem like I've had every side effect on Taxol. Ha ha. I even had the infusion reaction. The Taxol has seemed to be harder for me....
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While at rads today, I met a couple that had to travel from Baton Rouge to Austin for treatment. She is pregnant also. They were taking a picture in front of a dedication from the foundations that started the Cancer center and I volunteered to take a picture of them together. I guess they were excited to find the right place! They told me that their Dr.s office in La. commented, "you are still pregnant?" on her last visit...they didn't expect the baby to survive. When she recently found out she has a recurrence, they sent her a letter and never even called her! I am feeling very grateful today for the care and support I have been given. I know a lot of us have to overcome so many obstacles and challenges while going through this. I shed a few tears when I left and told them I would pray for them. I have been so fortunate in so many ways. Thank you all for being here!
For those of you who celebrate, Have a Happy and Blessed Easter!
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keep the faith
Wow. Thanks for sharing that story. It's all about perspective. Will keep that family in our prayers as well.
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FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF can you hear me yelling that.. !! my radiology oncologist called me today.... I cannot have radiation done where it was originally supposed to be, she called to tell me that a part of my heart is directly under the area they need to treat and that I have to go to a larger treatment center as they don't have the technology. O_M_G !! this means either Halifax or Toronto or somewhere else.... Halifax is a 4 hour drive for me and Toronto well I would have to fly and stay there. Either way I have to leave my little family and go do this. I don't know a lot of details right now will know more on Tuesday, nothing ever seems easy.. she said years ago they would have just done it as that's all they knew, but now they know more and where I am so young they don't want to risk damaging my heart which I get, but come on already... sucks...
Holli and others dealing with mom issues I am sorry they haven't been there for you.
Hope everyone is keeping well,
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I posted this in the Jan chemo forum also but you ladies have been on the taxols longer or done
I noticed last evening when I was sitting next to someone at a dinner that my finger nails are very pearly pink colored. Not deep pink like my friends regular nails but they look like I painted then a light whitish pink. They are still growing and I just trimmed them yesterday. Still stuck down to the nail bed, not flaking or lifting but just very pale looking, I know my hemoglobin is in the upper 10's so it is not pale from anemia. I keep them covered with a clear nutrient polish.
Funny the toe nails look normal.
Another taxol down today (#10). I drove myself to and from the CTC. With the lower dose of Benedryl I am not drowsy. Luckily I only live 5 blocks away. I figured if I was to dopy to drive I would walk home and walk back later in the evening to pick up my car. But I was fine. I actually enjoyed being there by myself. I visited with a friend who was there for her last chemo for lymphoma. She brought the nurses cookies today. Read the newspaper and a book on IPad. Also got 4 phone calls from friends who all wanted to know if I needed a ride home. It was nice to have some quiet time.
Barbara
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Kim. So sorry for the crapy news. The newest thinking is if the field is on the left over the heart then doing he RT In the prone position,on your stomach, gives less exposure to the heart. Esp if the need to include the internal mammary lymph nodes in the field. My CTC just got all new linear equipment so they are doing state of the art RT.
Does the RT center in Hallifax have a Hospitality suite where you could stay Mon to Fri. to cut down on the trips? I know our CTC has one in conjunction with the Medical Center.
Hope things work out for you.
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lol how about this one girls!
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crazywabbit- you are 100% correct!!
Kimie- so sorry:(. This is why I am going 6 hours to Houston for chemo and rads;(. They have that technology for my internal lymph node. I was upset at first, but when they told me my hometown would jVe missed it- I was relieved I was where I was. I am either getting a medical apartment or staying Mon-Thur in a hotel. We have easily spent $6000 in hotel rooms so far traveling to Houston. This summer for rads will be around $4000. Thank God my friends had a fundraiser for me so I could afford some of it. Cancer is expensive.
Hope everyone has a great weekend! I'll post a pic of my girls Sunday!!
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Hi girls. It's been a while and thought I'd check in. Today marked my 10th rads. Wow. It's going by quick. 15 more to go. So far, so good. My skin is turning pink and you can start to see the rectangle the rads leaves. starting to itch a little, but nothing bad. I haven't been using Auquafore this week at night and I regret it. My hair is coming in a lot quicker. My final chemo was March 17 so I think a month after you will probably all see a signifigant change in how much fuller it comes in. Before it was fuzzy and sparse. Now it's getting darker all over. My hair was always thin, fine and slow growing so I'm hoping chemo actually may help things. Robin, you are so lucky your hair grows fast and full. So jealous
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Kimie - I am sorry about the travel that you will have to deal with during rads. At least you RO is looking out for your heart. Is the 3 week study still an option at the new facility? I noticed a few posts ago, you mentioned that you were still losing your eyebrows. Me too. I am 5 weeks out and frustrated. I sent my MO an email asking for Latisse, as my RO is a man and knows nothing about it.
Jackie - You were asking about weight loss. I really watched what I ate during the Taxol portion of chemo. and my weight started dropping off pretty fast once I was off of chemo and walking daily. I am down 14 pounds. I am not starving myself and just really try to stay away from processed foods and sugar. I am trying to lose a much as I can before I go on tamoxifen.
Keepthefaith - What a sad story about the couple from Baton Rouge. It amazes me the stupid things people say to people. I hope this young lady gets wonderful care at your cancer center. I will keep her in my prayers.
Lisa - Mood buttons aren't a bad idea. LOL I could use one today that states "Bald & Bitchy!"
When I was at the RO's office today I was reading a magazine and came across an Ad for a National Women's Survivor Convention in Nashville from July 31-Aug.2. The website is www.SurvivorsConvention.com I am going to go. Wondering if any of you are interested?
Have a great evening and a wonderful Easter.
Kim
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Mikegirl - I am freaking out... my head is still bald. My last chemo was March 13th and I feel little stubs, that's it....
Kim
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