To Delay or Not Delay Surgery

Ever45
Ever45 Member Posts: 8
edited June 2014 in Just Diagnosed

Hi all,

I guess I am now an official member of this group.
Yeah!!!I feel lucky to be here with
such supportive people! I have a question .I have ILC and it is contained within one
breast. Dr. basically said, no big deal
– mastectomy. But, it needs to be done now (6-8 weeks). Semantics are important to me. I would like input on understanding this
approach. For me either it’s a big deal
– get it out. Or it’s not a big deal – let’s wait. I wish (ha ha) to have the surgery in 5
months not 2. It would make my life
(kids, husband who travels a lot) easier to schedule. Does anyone have any comments? I really do want to
make an informed decision. Thanks. xo

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Comments

  • vbishop
    vbishop Member Posts: 616
    edited April 2014

    Hi Ever45 -

    Sorry you had to join our little club, but at least you came to a good place!

    I can only guess as to why your surgeon wants to do your surgery now.  ILC is a sneaky sucker and very hard to find.  For example, the diagnostic mammogram I had showed 3 tumors, a possible fourth.  The reality of it was I had six tumors, the largest of which DID NOT show up on the mammogram.  Lovely, right? 

    Many with our type of cancer are diagnosed at a higher stage, again because it is hard to find and typically doesn't show up on mammograms.  And it doesn't present itself as a typical lump that most of us are taught to look for.  So women can have ILC for years before they know it.  

    If it were me, I would err on the side of caution with ILC.  Doctors can only guess at stage until after the pathology report post surgery.  Tumor size and grade may also come into play with your doctor. 

    I would also recommend that you get the oncotype testing post surgery.

    Good luck!  You're in for a roller coaster ride for a couple of months!  Don't hesitate to PM me if you have questions.  I am no expert, but my experience is recent and I have an amazing and informative medical team!!

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited April 2014

    Ever, did they biopsy your sentinel node? Are they saying its invasive or in situ? 

    So many factors, it might be safe to wait, I would follow your surgeons advice. For me personally, I would want the surgery ASAP. But, if it is stage 0 or 1 you probably could wait 5 months.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited April 2014

    You either need to have surgery now, or be on chemo now to shrink the tumor before you have surgery. Under no circumstance should you wait 5 months before you begin treatment!

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  • redsox
    redsox Member Posts: 523
    edited April 2014

    Ever,

    Your definition of "no big deal" is not the same as your doctor's definition. In this instance the doctor's is the definition that is relevant. He or she is not thinking in terms of "OK to wait months", but rather in terms of "with mastectomy we have a pretty good chance of getting this sucker before it spreads".

    And your husband will just have to re-arrange his travel schedule unless you can get someone else to help you. It may be tough for him but families have to be ready to drop plans and regroup.

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  • Ever45
    Ever45 Member Posts: 8
    edited April 2014

    Hi Everyone, Thanks for some very helpful words.  This is a really tough racket.  I am so very overwhelmed.  In truth I am more of a "giver" than a "receiver".  And I really like the PLAN.  I make the PLAN.  I do the PLAN.  But, I am coming to get that cancer allows for no PLAN.  Apparently, I need to change my planning and get on the roller coaster (preferably now).  Did I mention I hate coasters?  

    My surgeon actually called me at home to discuss this question of delay.  She basically said - you need the surgery now - it's cancer.  Okay.  I got that one.    

    So ladies, let's buckle up and get ready for the ride. Whoooo - Hoooo!

    Hugs,

    xoxo

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  • leaf
    leaf Member Posts: 8,188
    edited April 2014

    My former oncologist said that cancer is like walking into a black, unlighted room.  You can use a flashlight to see certain parts of the room, but its really hard to see the 'big picture'.  I guess that's why with some aspects of cancer treatment, there are options, and for others there aren't.

    We all want to be able to deal whatever is ahead for us, and have a path to the future we want.  

    Thinking of you as you form your plan,or, (perhaps more accurately) your plan is formed for you.  Best wishes.

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  • Kicks
    Kicks Member Posts: 4,131
    edited April 2014

    Ever - You say that YOU are the one that PLANS everything - well then - YOU PLANNED to get BC?  Of course NOT!  How is waiting to do your PLAN going to make anything easier?  Is it not going to make the 'Monster' that much stronger/bigger in that time and your body not more attacked?  In that time - is your TX going to become less invasive?    What effect would it have on your children and Hubby knowing that you have a potential 'time bomb' ticking in you but wanting to wait to 'disarm' it til it's a more 'convient' time?

    Waiting to do something is not going to make anything easier on you or (more important to me) on your Loved Ones!   For me, the hardest part of going through TX was knowing what Hubby and Son were going through - not what I did physically.  I was fighting but they had to see what it was doing to me and could only give me all the support they could (they did so much more than I ever thought was possible).

    My idea of PLANS - certainly some things do have to be planned for and done as scheduled (paying bills on time, etc.) but for most of life/living, nothing is 'set in stone'!  Live life ever day to it's utmost possible which often leads to enjoyment that we would never have never known if we only followed the PLAN we had set.  Life is just that LIFE.

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited April 2014

    It is a detour no one wants to make & does require adjustments to anyone's plan. I thought it was extremely scary to take the leap, not knowing how what would come next, or how my body would react to the treatments. As far as a plan:

    * call the dentist & get in for a good cleaning & checkup so that you don't have to deal with teeth issues during this time

    * make lists of things you may need help with & when people ask 'What can I do?' tell them specifically what they can do! Might you need rides for yourself, rides for your kids to various activities? If your kids are little, it would be nice if friends would invite them for sleepovers or take them to the park....whatever, to give you some down time after surgery and/or other treatments. Might you need help shopping, with cleaning, with meals? I LOVED that my co-workers signed up on a calendar and brought over meals a couple times a week. Get a notebook and write down everyone who helps you out & send out periodic thank yous.

    * you just never know; you may be really out-of-it, but you very well might be able to maintain a pretty normal schedule. I, thankfully, was able to keep working, get to my high school son's events and do the 'big' things that I felt were important; but I hired a cleaning lady, accepted all help, did lots of packaged food (on days people didn't bring me any), let my son watch lots more movies & play lots more video games than I normally would have etc. etc.  I saved my energy for things that were really necessary/important & let go of all the others.

    I am really glad that you are getting started with your treatments & wish you all the best. The sooner you start, the sooner you're done!

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