Did You Regret Not Reconstructing?
Comments
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I am 8 months out from BMX. Today is the actual day!! I was originally dx'd with DCIS w/Microinvasion. It was very early and very small and I could have just gone with a lx and rads. My mom died from complications of chemo to treat her bc, but actually there was more chance of the BRCA mutation from my dad's side of the family (my mom was adopted so no info there at all). I did test negative for BRCA 1&2 but it didn't take me long to decide that a BMX was the right thing for me. I didn't want to wait the rest of my life for the other shoe to drop and have to have more surgery. BMX gave me an amazing peace of mind that I have done everything I could to be healthy again. I did look into recon before sx, but knowing I would need more surgeries to have it done, I decided it was just not for me. I was 64 at the time, but even if I was 35, I don't think I would have done recon. After my BMX the final path report (it was sent to Beth Israel Hospital for a second opinion) changed my dx to IDC stage 1, grade 2. It was still early and small and I didn't need chemo, rads, or hormone treatment. So sometimes here on the boards, I feel like a pretender of sorts as I only had surgery.
I have not for one moment regretted not doing recon. I have prostheses but feel very uncomfortable in them. I have never even worn them in public. I have been going flat everywhere. In the beginning I used scarves and vests, it didn't take long to realize that people really didn't notice I was flat (of course helped by the many layers of clothing in Winter in MT). Lately, as Spring has begun, I have just been going with camis or patterned tanks with a shirt or t-shirt on top. I have always loved scarves so am comfortable wearing one if I feel the need.
This is such a personal decision. We each have to decide what is right for us. And fortunately we do have the option of going back on that decision in the future either way. For myself, flat is freeing, comfortable and is my new normal!
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I realize this is some time after Bearhitch asked her question, but I thought I'd throw in my 2 cents in case it helps some other woman down the road.
First off, I do NOT regret not reconstructing. I LOVE being flat.
PLUSES: more comfortable, I can lie on my stomach in bed, I can choose to wear a prosthetic or not, more comfortable exercising, waaay more comfortable horseback riding, no more messing around with bras, I can wear a baggy shirt or a vest and it's not very noticeable that I'm flat, if anything comes back in the chest/scar area I will see it right away, if I choose to wear prosthetics then I can choose shape/size/look of them (a little droopy, very perky, etc).
MINUSES: if you're overweight you will see your stomach, if you're overweight it's a bit harder to hide flat than if you're skinny so you might get a few stares, slight bit of discomfort with something hitting my chest (still a little sore years later), airport TSA shenanigans if you wear prosthetics
If I'm going to be in a really crowded place with people pushing/shoving, I'll often wear my big silicon foobs just to keep from feeling someone elbowing me along the scar line. Also, I'm still tender years later in the underarm area, so I keep a set of foobs that extend around the side and pad that area very nicely. I'll wear those at times if I'm sore.
If you choose to wear prosthetics, you have to look to find something that is comfortable in hot/humid weather.
The airport shenanigans are the grief you get when you go through TSA screening with prosthetics. You'll generally get a pat-down if you're wearing prosthetics. You get a lot of questions if you just throw them in your carry-on. I've never been bothered if I go flat.
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I travel pretty frequently and though I was patted down (all over, not just my chest) when I opted out of the x-ray machines, now that most airports have replaced them with millimeter wave machines, I go through them and I've never been patted down although I always wear breast forms (usually foam forms when I'm traveling). No guarantee, but just wanted to share my experience that wearing prosthetics doesn't necessarily mean you'll be patted down.
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Otceb, thank you for sharing those two stories....I appreciate the brave women who have shared their personal lives with us so we all can learn.
Momine, I agree with you, the look was not what my husband or myself wanted, I think after cancer I have a love-hate relationship with breasts. I loved mine and want them back, and I hated them and don't want artificial ones.
make sense to anyone?
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It makes perfect sense to me, crystalphm. If reconstruction meant having MY breasts back, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Realizing that no matter how they looked, they wouldn't be what I miss, was what made me decide against reconstruction.
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