February 2014 Starting Chemo Club

Jbokland-I just read your blog about the chemo...sheesh you are sooo right on the way you described the weekend after AC. I've completed 3 and have 3 more to go and I have and continue to think I just don't know if I can do this again. It is a dark time those first few days after, but I keep holding on because eventually it gets better.

((hugs))

I left a message for my MO's nurse about my back pain. *sigh* why do I always feel like I'm being a pain in a$$ when I call with an issue? It's not them, it is me.

Hope everyone is holding up today, as well as can be expected. I've got the fatigue today big time! ((hugs))

Post 11 days from dd AC #4 and felt the most fatigued out of all the chemo days. Not sure if it was from a long day yesterday of hanging out with friends and lack of sleep, but I could hardly stand today. Exhausted. 

You know what ladies, I love the group on this posting!  It good to have sisters on similar schedules and journeys to compare notes with and encourage each other!  

I only wish there were "like" buttons to a way to comment back directly to someone's post   (I guess I am a true FaceBook girl). 

I will share that when I hit my lowest point of feeling defeated and decided to have a pity party for myself, the universe saved me.  That same day I was advised of another patient in my MO office that was just 24 years old with stage III, no health insurance and minimal family support.   I stuck my chin up at that moment and was reminded of perspective.   BTW, I made it my mission to befriend this beautiful young budding artist and took her to lunch today.  I am trying to mentor her through some of this craze.

Good riddance to the Red Devil and F$ck Cancer. 

jb- I wish there was a like button too!!!!! Lol. And thank you so much for sharing your blog, the obituary to the boobs was hysterical. I look forward to reading more!

You are right no matter how hard this is, it can always be worse!

Sicilian-hoping your numbers are good!

My last red devil is tomorrow!!!!!!! I'm not looking forward to it at all because I still haven't fully recovered from the last one. Make of this what you will, but on my way to my last 3 treatments the song Titanium played on the radio. I was never really a big fan of the song but now it's kind of my anthem. As I was having a little pity party on the way home from work today, It came on again. And lifted my spirits a bit. 

This crap can shoot us down, but we won't fall, we are TITANIUM!!

Love and hugs sistas!!!!!

I've also thought that I wish there was a "like" button here

So, I've got a weird question maybe....

When you get blood work done prior to your treatment, does your MO go over any of it with you. I'm wondering if there are any "markers"  on the blood work that might show if the chemo is working or not. I'm not sure why I'm thinking about this tonight, but I am. When do we get scans again, after chemo and rads or between the 2?

I know this is something that I need to talk to MO about, I just wondered if anyone had any info on this.

MO's nurse called me about my back yesterday. She said it was possible that it was the Nuelasta shot causing the pain and that I should try to take it as easy as possible. She also said to take pain pill as needed.

((hugs))

jbokland

I know what you mean about putting things in perspective.

A couple weeks back I wanted to quit. I had gotten a virus and was admitted to the hospital. The stomach pain was so bad...As bad as natural labor. In those days I really thought about giving up. I felt I wasn't strong enough to continue. The next day someone had posted a video of a young girl (maybe 6) ringing the bell for her last chemo.  She had leukemia and endured 2.5 years of treatment.  I cried like a baby.  I felt like an @$$. How could this little previous girl have to go through this and have to deal with such grown up problems and I'm overt here feeling bad for myself and wanting to give up. My treatment is only 5 months,  she did 2.5 years! It is hard living through this day to day and sometimes I just gotta cry and let it out, but there are so many that have to go through this a lot longer or indefinitely. 

tangandchris I specifically asked my onc when I first met her how do we know if this stuff is working. She said "we don't." Then she explained that in my specific case that there was a 40% chance that all I needed was surgery... but the problem is they have no way of knowing. There are lots of studies going on now to see if they can do tests to figure this out but we are a long way from that. Tumor markers are unreliable. They work for some people and not for others. My thought on this is... unless someone tells me there is a problem I am not going to worry about it. Below are 2 of my infamous "speeches" I have posted here:

seat belt speech:

You don't assume you will get into a car accident every time you
get in your car. You do put on your seat belt and drive carefully. Same
with breast cancer. Eat right, maintain a healthy weight, exercise,
and take your hormone therapy (if prescribed). No reason to think you
are going to get mets until you actually have a symptom.

shit happens speech:

Some people win the lottery and become millionaires too but do you
really think that's going to happen to you? Shit happens. Sometimes
good shit, sometimes bad shit, but most of the time shit doesn't
happen. Don't assume shit is going to happen to you.

*Seriously most of us early stage folks make it and never have to deal with this distant mets.

Ladies!! Lot's of love you to this morning! Juju, Jk and Lago...all what I needed to hear. It's so easy to get caught up in this crap, I just want to enjoy the good of today. We are going to do an early wedding anniversary this weekend, our 10th is next Thursday and that is also my next tx day. I just want to be in the moment the next few days and not wondering what if, why me, or how come. That is my prayer for us all! ((hugs))

Dang me too....dh plays every once in awhile..nothing yet!

Enjoy your early anniversary Tang.  Live in the moment this weekend and everyday.  I tried worrying once...it didn't change a thing!  It on my robbed me of being present. 

good riddance AC, Red devil, draino!!!!! Kiss my arse!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like no matter how bad the next few days are I can take it, knowing I am done with the EVIL meds!!!!!

Sicilian so sorry to hear about your counts! Hoping the shot does the trick!

I started out the day feeling good, despite the fact I never completely recovered from the last treatment. I was almost excited to get my chemo and end this phase. I had to space out my appts because my daughter had her spring show today so I had my vitals and blood work, saw the MO and had an hour before chemo to go to my daughters school. But the MO wanted me to get a sono on a lump in my arm to rule out a clot (no clot thankfully). I lost it on the sono table, when this messes with my kids I can't take it. I was already missing my sons first hockey game of the season. It took awhile but I realized that I'm doing this so I don't miss stuff in the future. Those moments are going to come but we can't let them overcome us!!! My husband told me he asked the coach to have my son play defense, he knew if I missed his first goal he'd probably have to commit me, lol!

Tang I never thought about what you are going through. With IBC I have to have chemo first because of how the tumor grows, kind of in sheets and it invades the skin, and because of how aggressive it is. The chemo hopefully shrinks it into a ball, or ideally until it is gone. so when I have my surgery they can get clean margins. It is def shrinking I can feel it and so can my MO. It basically took up my whole breast. I would think the same way if I had surgery first!!! Pour your worries out on this board we got your back!!!!!!

I thank my lucky stars everyday for you guys!!!! Love and hugs

Jb you are a pisser!!!!!!!

Happy dance...last chemo today for me...and yes I was excited. 

Congratulations to the other ladies finishing as well and to all the other women doing their best and getting closer to finishing.  I know I will have some rough days ahead, but my body is getting better,especially  in three time when I will not be having chemo again...it will continue to recover and get better from all the side effects.

Radiation consultation on the 22 , then decide from there what will be next on this adventure.

Thank you to all the great women in this group , could not have done it with out you...wish I could meet you all and thank you in person.  Sending lots and lots of hugs to everyone !! 

Thinking of all of you , especially all the women who first had to do chemo 30  years ago, making it easier for me today. So thank you  and feeling thankful !

Congratulations to all those who are finishing! Now stop watching for your hair to grow. It's like watching paint dry. You have to give it several weeks.