Dilemma

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wintersocks
wintersocks Member Posts: 922
edited June 2014 in Bonded by Breast Cancer

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  • wintersocks
    wintersocks Member Posts: 922
    edited April 2014

    I belonged to the equivalent of breastcancer.org in Britain. We were all cyber friends and then met in 'real life'. I guess there are about 25 of us. We talk often on FB. There is talk of celebrating milestones, moving on, looking forward, look how far we have come etc etc. It's all very uplifting. However,there are 2 ladies in our group who are in the middle of testing for possible secondaries

    How does one straddle both worlds?  i cannot feel like I am 'moving on'  when 2 of our group are in the thick of more tests......

    I feel upset...

  • farmerlucy
    farmerlucy Member Posts: 3,985
    edited April 2014

    I visit weekly with a lady with end stage BC who is in a nursing home. She doesn't like to talk about it much, but when we do we focus on commonalities (how we felt at dx, family reactions). Often I feel quite inadequate but I keep going. She really is amazing, has an incredible spirit, and enjoys life more than most people. She loves to watch old movies and sports  I am hopeful that one day she might open up, but if she doesn't that is ok too.

    When I was diagnosed I leaned heavily on a friend who'd had a PBM  for LCIS. She allowed me to express my darkest fears, and I didn't have to worry much about dragging her through the mud, since she was in the safe zone. It was helpful to me.

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