March 2014 Surgery

Kitty, you look great!  Good luck to you today Footballnut (I am one too!)

I worked from home yesterday for about six hours, then took a nice long nap.  My last drain is finally slowing down - it was 29 for the day yesterday and 9 this morning after being 17 yesterday morning.  I'm trying not to get too excited, but hoping the downward trend continues and I can convince the nurse at the PS office to take it out tomorrow.  It would be nice to go to work for a short time by the end of the week.

Kitty you look great!!

Lol my on the looks on peeps faces when they pull the drains.  My best friend from the Army went with me to that appt - I looked over at her right after they pulled the first one and I really thought she was gonna pass out - she was white as a sheet. 

Well, I knew this was coming. My margins from surgery 3 are not clean. I'll need to have a mastectomy when I finish chemo. I took the news much better than when my second surgery pathology came back with positive margins and mastectomy was back on the table as a possibility. I am in full-on robot mode. Which is good because this Friday I fly to CA to visit my family and my folks need to see that I'm ok. Mom flies back to DC with me so she can be here for my first chemo treatment.

A friend just sent me this - 

I am so sorry to hear that Everforward..I agree with Linda...look at your trip to California as a place you don't have to think about the upcoming surgery. Focus on one thing at a time, get through chemo, then as you heal from chemo, start preparing yourself for the next step. 

I just feel like we try to grasp this whole big journey at once, but my brain can only handle one step at a time!  

Big hugs...remember, no bravery required here. 

EverForward, I'm so sorry. And trying to be ok isn't always easy either. (((hugs))). But do enjoy your trip to CA. You deserve it!! You'll get through it, one day at a time.

Seems like my tummy has finally calmed down a bit. I was able to drink a little bit of fat free kefir earlier, and just at one small (homemade) gluten free banana cocoa muffin. I feel quite a bit better than this morning. My gut still hurts, but not like it did earlier. Hoping all the extra supplements I've been giving it are going to kick this attack in one day. I'm finally starting to feel closer to normal again, so I really don't want to be down with a big Crohn's flare right now. I'm also teaching again tonight after dinner, so I will need enough energy for that too. Also trying to do some homeschooling with my son, but he's been dragging his feet, taking forever to do a little bit of math. He just literally escaped from his math book while I was out of the room for a few minutes and is now practicing his cello. I'll let him do that for a while, maybe his brain will function better after that. Getting back into a routine of doing school after an extended time off is always hard, and we really haven't done much for the last 6-8 weeks, with my 2 surgeries. We'll have to work through at least part of the summer too to finish our program, but that's ok.

My appointment went well this morning. Apparently there is no infection where the drain used to come out. It's still very open, and oozing some odd colors, but my BS said it looks normal. I think it is getting better now that I'm only putting on a very light layer of gauze, covered with a little bit of paper tape, so it can breathe more, rather than a thick bandaid. She did say to continue to put Neosporin on it. And, I got the ok to not wear the tight ace wrap anymore!!!! Woohoo!! I'm so happy. I'm now wearing a sports bra, and honestly, it's really hard to tell the difference between the right (with breast) and left (mastectomy side) sides; I'm just not very big, to say the least! LOL The mastectomy boutique lady kept trying to convince me to add a little filler on the right side as well, to make me a little bigger, but I'm used to myself that way, and didn't like it at all, so I'm not. 36AA it is. I used to buy 32A (or 34AA if I could find it), and attach those little extender things in the back so my rib cage didn't get squashed; I have never seen a bra size 36AA in any store!

Kitty, good luck at your appointment getting your drains pulled. I went alone to get mine pulled, so I didn't get to watch anybody's expression. I didn't watch either, I closed my eyes. But for me it was totally painless! I'd been so nervous about it too. Most of the staples didn't hurt either when the nurse pulled them out, except for the last 2, those hurt quite a bit.

Drains pulled today - my husband watched but he's a PA so he's used to that kind of thing! I, on the other hand, turned my head with my eyes shut and...didn't feel a thing! (Took a percocet on the way though). Put on a Genie bra and feel like a different person with no drains and no giant Velcro strips poking me or getting stuck to my shirt! Have more of a creepy-crawly itchy feeling on my skin especially in my TE "cleavage" !...

EverForward, I'm so sorry to hear your news.  When I first met with my surgeon, she said I might be a candidate for a lumpectomy if I wanted to try, but I'd likely be facing more surgery.  I just wasn't brave enough to try it (afraid I'd be facing multiple surgeries) and opted for nipple sparing BMX.  Both my longtime doctor and the surgeon felt I was making the right decision, but my oncologist felt it was a little drastic, that I could get a good result with lumpectomy and radiation.  As it turns out, I need to go back for more surgery anyway to have my right nipple removed because I didn't get clear margins there.  In hindsight, while not looking forward to more surgery, I don't regret the decision I made to try and keep my nipples.  It just didn't work out the way I'd hoped.  I gave it a good shot, just as you did.  You gave it more than a good shot!  I hope you enjoy your trip and can just put it out of your thoughts for a while.

Speaking of the drain removal, my husband put on his glasses and got really close so he had a good view of it.  He loves that stuff.  lol  So I let him empty my drains every time, because I don't love it.    I can't wait to get rid of this last one, hopefully tomorrow!

Frostecat, I am also heading straight to BB&B for a couple Genie bras right after I get my drain out.  Then to get a hair cut if I'm not too worn out.  I can't wait to put on a T-shirt and quit wearing my husband's button up shirts around the house every day.  I only bought two button up shirts just before my surgery to wear to doctor appointments.  I didn't know I would have the drains so long!

Ucfmom, everforward,  I was told I might be a candidate for lumpectomy too, I was elated, only to discover later that it was multi focal and not meant to be.  I was depressed after discovering this after the initial diagnosis.  I only have a couple of button down zip up tops too and have been living in them the last 2 weeks, that and yoga pants/pajama bottoms.  I will only be to happy to say bye bye to that drain, and to take a shower not hooked to the rod!

Everforward, I'm so sorry about your news.  It's warm and sunny here in California and I hope your trip gives you a chance to feel revitalized and ready for the next steps.

Kitty you look great!  You're so symmetrical.

Frostecat, I definitely feel weird when I bend over, like my expanders are going to drop right out.  I still feel very tight being at 300 cc and my sternum still hurts a lot.  Overall, my expanders seem bumpy and mishapen.  I have a dent area in one and a couple of areas the size of a quarter that seem to stick out more than they should.  I wasn't really expecting perfect half orbs but hmmm.  I thought I would do a search about this but I'm getting tired of researching stuff!  I see the PS in a week anyway.  

Julie thanks for the update about the armpit soreness, that is really bothering me right now too.  You are a couple weeks ahead of me so I'm kind of following your journey.  I wish I looked as good as Kitty - she looks great.  My scar is curvy in shape, almost like a sideways S and travels to under my armpit.  I haven't really seen a scar shaped like this but PS tells me not to think of this as the end result at this point in time, I sure hope not.

My pain isn't in my lower ribs bit square in the middle of my breast where the nipple once was.

Kitty I am green with envy.  I'm 15 days post op and don't look anything like that at all!  Heading to the PS in a couple of hours, was hoping he would pull drain, but it keeps draining too much and the color is turning back to deep red - ugh!  I want this out of me!  I'll have to wait to see what he says.