Fatigue, Depression, Guilt about DCIS - Help!

Glad to hear you are doing well lettie and have a plan of action! Waiting is the hardest, isn't it? Back to work and zumba in 2.5 weeks - that will be here in no time! I want to take zumba classes - it sounds like a lot of fun and I love to dance.

That's funny, Lilyluv!-- I will show my husband.  That's exactly how I was to him before.  Obviously though, I didn't win... plus, the fact, that my kids started to like food with a little more garlic than usual--- guess, it really brings out the flavor in the food.

I don't have exact schedule yet for my 2nd surgery, Faerywings, but we are looking at July.

Yes, Rubiayat, do Zumba!  I'm sure you'll have fun.  And, don't get intimidated if you feel like you're the only one who cannot follow the dance.  Truth is, it doesn't matter if you don't get the choreography the first time; nobody does! The second or third time you come, maybe; but, again, it's okay if you don't.  Sooner or later, before you know it, you've perfected it!  I'll be waiting to hear about your first class.  

Yeah, Lilyluv, can't get away with garlic anymore, esp. now that my husband has been the one in charge of the kitchen.  And yeah... 3-4 months to recharge before my next one should be okay.

Looking forward to your Smokies story next month.... in the meantime, stay healthy and prep up good for that trek.  That should be awesome!-- (:

Oh faerywings, I am so sorry to hear your white blood count is low and you are feeling so sick. No wonder you are having a hard time - it is really difficult to feel terrible for so long. It can take the fight right out of you. After my second lumpectomy I went in for a MRI guided biopsy (that is where they discovered more DCIS and thus needed a third lumpectomy) and as I laid there waiting for the doctor I just started crying. I idea of another invasive procedure felt like too much. It can be traumatic to be cut, poked, prodded over and over again.

Sending you big hugs:)

Sorry to hear about your ordeal, Faerywings.  And thanks for more info on low wbc, Lilyluv.  I had a repeat lab prior to my surgery for wbc; but I guess the second one passed somehow and that's why they pursued my surgery.  But, I feel I still need to be watchful of it, esp. since I have another surgery coming.  It's just frustrating that I am not given specific guidelines to follow about it.

Like, today, I saw the nutritionist, and I was really excited to see her; but then I ended up walking out of her office very happy.  It turned out that her specialty is diabetes, and the one who specializes in cancer is only for in-patients.  So, although she still gave me nutrition information, I just didn't feel that it was really tailor fit for my particular needs based on my path reports-- such as that low wbc (which she even said "may be" inherent to cancer patients).  Other than eating more fruits and vegetables-- possibly organic, if budget allows, otherwise wash fruits and veggies, esp. if uncooked or no peel, very well and thoroughly, she couldn't suggest anything more to help replenish my wbc or avoid its decrease.  Also, she said there is no direct and proven co-relation between sweets and breast cancer; although natural sweeteners are always better than the refined ones.  She said this belief may have been caused by the fact that studies show most breast cancer patients are obese or have high sugar levels; and since sweets cause obesity, a lot of readings have developed around this. She said our body needs sugar for energy, so completely avoiding sweets (including natural sweets from fruits, honey/agave, and the like) will not be good for our body either.   At any rate, she said she will reach out to the cancer specialist and get back to me in case she missed out on anything.  I just sure hope she does.  

Hi, DCIS sisters!  Sorry, for the absence... my older daughter came home for half of her Spring Break and we had mommy time.  

Yeah-- mrenee68....lilyluv--- just SOOOOOOO frustrating!  I really doubt, mrenee68, that she will get back to me for my tailor-fit diet.  That's why, I told myself, "To heck!"  So, over the weekend, I literally loaded myself with sweets!!!  I know I was being a brat, but yeah-- I just felt so angry.

Now though, I'm back to my sensible self and to the reality that all we have are ourselves anyway.  You're right, lilyluv, we just have to keep researching by ourselves to find the answers to our questions.  That's why, thanks again for initiating this discussion on DCIS.  Truly a big help!

Happy Monday, everyone!-- 

Hi DCIS-sisters! Just a quick pop in to say hi and send good thoughts to you all. I kind of bottomed out last week between feeling so tired and then all of the chaos with my drs and insurance. The social worker told me that it is ok for me to just cocoon myself on occasion and focus on the fact that my body need to heal. So I was totally lazy for a few days. Then had to take my kids to a College Open house Sat. and my DD to a Prom Dress Designer on Sunday. SW also told me to try and stay in the moment ( huge issue with my brain!) and I really worked on that a lot. 

Hoping to get my feet back under me soon.

xo

I agree, Lilyluv... I think I gained like 2 lbs from eating tons over the weekend--  Problem is, I really can't exercise yet until mid-April.  I think I'll cheat a little and do some sit-ups tonight.... and maybe some arm exercises.  I might not fit into my clothes next week when I go back to work.  I feel I'm getting used to wearing these over-sized shirts from my husband's closet-- very comfy! Last Sunday, I didn't care; I went to church with my daughter just wearing leggings and over-sized shirt.

Faerywings, yeah-- it's okay... rest up... unwind... re-coup.  We are just here when you need us.  (: 

Burka-- LOL Lilyluv, I like that!-- (:

I hate to admit that my experience today is that exercise really can energize.  I have been feeling pretty rough for the week since rads ended, as the worst skin breakdown happened after rads ended for me.  I had been exercising daily up until this past week as I just hurt too much to move too much after work.  DH picked me up today after work with both dogs and as it is the first decent day in months, we took them for a run/walk in the woods.  I walked for miles and suddenly realized how great I felt.  It is so hard to do when you are feeling so rough, but for me, was a game changer.  Felt like myself again for awhile.  Sounds like we are in for a beautiful weekend and as this burning has to stop soon, am hoping for lots more walks and feeling better.  Hope you all find a way to attract some of that badly needed energy too.  xxxx

TB- good for you! My back yard is up against woods and my neighbors own most of it. They have built a hiking trail through it and its just a really cool get-away. As soon as the last of the snow melts and the ground dries up a bit, I think I should go back there and just breathe.

But I have to say this-- be careful of ticks!!!! It doesn't matter if your state tells you there aren't ticks in the area-- they are *everywhere* And they are next to impossible to see fully grown but now they are in nymph stage which makes them almost invisible.  Please use a good DEET spray or permethrin on your clothing and really good tick checks.

I have been dealing with lyme since 2007 and it is absolutely brutal. I would really hate for anyone else to go through this hell.

Hi Lily and lettie! Isn't it funny how our brains just expect us to be "back to normal" like nothing ever happens. I walk around the house asking myself, WHY I am I so tired?? Well, duh.  But yes, it is a process. And when we feel like we need to be the Super-Woman/Wife/Mother, that just seems to make things harder, It does for me at least.

Lily- my appetite has been much lower. Nothing seems to really make me want to eat. Unfortunately if you out something in front of me I eat too much of it. I am at a weight that I like right now and I worry about Tamoxifan and weight gain. ugh.

I have heard of goji berries but I have no idea where you could get them. Maybe a health food store could order them for you? I have read a bit about alkaline diets for Lyme, and one thing that I read was that no matter how much you consume alkaline foods, your kidney end up flushing it all out anyway.

Mushrooms- I am allergic/intolerant to mushrooms. But I used mushroom extract on my dog who had cancer (3 times, and three different kinds my sweet baby-girl ) The last one she had was in her jaw and lymph node. You could see/feel the tumors. She was old at that point, almost 12 and the drs told us to just make her comfortable. I started giving her mushroom extract, and the tumors shrunk. Even our vet was amazed. She ended up living another 5 years. I know it is just an anecdote, but it seemed to work for her. 

I was diagnosed with DCIS in October of 2013, had a lumpectomy and didn't get clear margins.  In November my surgeon recommended a mastectomy of the left breast, I decided to have the right removed as well.   I have no regrets on that regard.  Last month I had a bump on my chest, went through all the scans/tests etc and it was just an old injury probably a cracked rib when I was a child.  However, they found a swollen lymph node on my right side.  So another surgery to have the lymph node removed.  It was clear.  In five months I have had 3 surgeries, countless scans and tests, doctor visits and so on and so on.  I do feel lucky not to have had radiation and chemo, I do not mourn my breasts, I wanted to live.  My biggest problem with the whole thing was a staff member at the oncologist office.  After the mastectomy I called to see if I needed to see them again, she said no you are fine.  I still had questions so bought it up to my family doctor, such as since I can't have a mammogram what do I have and so on.  The family doctor thought they were valid questions and e-mailed the oncologist and asked them to set up an appointment for me or to call me.  The same staff member called, she said 'I have already talked to you once and told you you are fine, I asked a couple of questions, she gave a big sigh and said you are fine"  She said some other things which I may report her on.   I just had my breasts removed and she acted like I was calling about a case of the hives.  If they are going to work in oncologist office maybe they could try for a little compassion.

Mine was found early enough that it didn't become a much bigger problem.  I feel like Jelson I am not going to feel guilty for not suffering enough, three surgeries and all the tests and anxieties is enough suffering for me