Starting Chemo January 6, 2014

Desimone, Been there.  Just sometimes everything is so overwhelming.  Cried and cried and cried the other night, no real trigger, just overwhelmed.  Then one of my very dear friends who had no clue I was having a down day posted this, it was meant for her, but it spoke to me too.  This is a tough road.  {{{Hugs}}}!   We will get thru this moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day.  Hope you have a better day today!

I've neglected BC.Org for several weeks.  I'm not sure if I am angry or depressed but definitely not happy!

I'm "one of those ones"....hospitalized for 3 days after first Taxotere and then diagnosed with neuropathy/hand foot syndrome after second Taxotere.   For third cycle my mo  discontinuted  Taxotere and gave me 1/3 dose of Taxol along with my regular Carboplatin and Herceptin.  I 'loved' not being nauseated but for the last 2 weeks, my chemo has been cancelled because my wbc's and rbc's keep going down, down and down.  When I asked my mo for another Neulasta shot he said that wasn't a good idea.  Apparently some people have had a weird reaction to their 1st/2nd Neulasta shots and their immune system keeps getting worse instead of better. 

I am now two weeks behind my 'end date'.... May 21st was supposed to be my last chemo treatment.  Now I don't know when I'll be done:(..  Plus I still have 6 weeks of daily radiation to face and 6 more months of Herceptin. 

I know that I could be worse off but  I can't see the forest for the trees...thanks for listening

des love that saying, speaks to most of us!!

Rabit I felt completely defeated after being in the hospital just for one night never mind 3!  The awesome thing is exactly what des posted. We are women and I think our biggest attribute is to eventually pull ourselves up off the ground and rise to be stronger than ever.  

I've heard women on this site say to others "keep us in your pocket"...we are here for you, we understand.  Much love and encouragement on your dark days...there are better ones ahead, xoxoxo!

Asb hoping the test goes well and they can pinpoint something manageable with your heart, muah!

Dessimone: I agree, maybe time to set aside the report and focus on something else. It will still be there if you want to go back to it. I found it difficult to read mine and could not make sense of it - no medical training. I did a lot of online searches and finally realized that it was stressing me out. I needed to dial it back to -one day at a time- and just living in the moment of the day and not in the 'what if's' of the future. Maybe that might help you too.

Radiation: Got a call on Friday. April 7th will be my Radiation Education Class and Video followed by the Scan and Tattoo. Takes about an hour. I told my husband last night I was getting a tattoo. We have joked about this for 38 years! LOL He said I would never do it because I could never make a decision on WHAT to get and there was pain involved.

I told him, that (1) I was getting a tattoo (2) the decision was out of my hands and (3) no ONE was ever going to see it without a magnifying glass! LOL It was my way of bringing in some humour - he is such a sensitive guy when it comes to me and pain. Sometimes I forget that I am not the only one going through this adventure. I think I need to dial it back myself sometimes and be sensitive to others. Hmmm.

Carren

worked on this today. Figured I'd share. First pic is before BC, second is one of my scarf looks (I rock the scarf tying but i get tired of the look after a while), third is my curly wig and of course the last is bald me. My head is long and narrow so bald looks funny on me I think.  I love the women with the round heads, they look awesome bald! I have naturally curly hair so it was hard to find a curly wig that didn't look like an old lady hairstyle. This is a vivica fox wig called the "oprah2", lol. Had to tame it down and thin it because it was kind of big when i first got it. Don't wear it a lot cause it gets annoying after awhile but the curls are perfect, which mine never were, and everyday it looks the same, which mine never did lol!. I miss my natural, messy curls. Someday 

Good luck Desimone.  I hope it goes well and no se's.  mine were not as bad this week.  I have had a stomach problem and dropped 4 pounds though.  No complaints here.  You look good Lisa J.  I usually wear caps I pick up at the chemo center.  A local charity or two donates them. I go bald at home all the time unless my head is cold. Even though I am on the Taxol I have some blond hair about 1/4 inch all over my head growing in.  Very soft and fine. Sparse though.  I think I will come back as Pink. LOL

hi Ladies,

It's been a while since I've posted anything...I had an emotional dip since my second infusion and the more I read the more anxious I was getting. Anyway,  I had my last TC infusion today. Starting to feel like there's some light at the end of the tunnel. My biggest SE lately has been the hot flashes from chemopause. Any suggestions to curb them. Also, Carren, I had the same question. There's a good thread called 'hair, hair, hair' that you may want to check out. 

Carren - my sister's neighbor is a breast cancer survivor and she swears by emu oil to help her hair grow in real thick.  She does have a nice head of hair   She said to definitely use this website http://emuoildepot.com/, they use a very pure version of it.  Dr. Brian Fox, a leading MO from University of PA Hopsital, also recommends it to his patients.  I would like to use it, but it is not cheap, so I have not started yet.

Sending soothing thoughts to everyone going through hard times.  We have all been there, where you just want to sleep through the next few months.  I still go there sometimes.  We'll all get through the bad times and be chemo free at some point!

Thanks for the 'heads up' (pun intended) on the 'hair, hair, hair' forum and the Emu Oil. I will check into both of them. Carren

I have just noticed this week that my eyebrows have started to thin, have to use a pencil or dark eyeshadow to make them show up now, eyelashes are still hanging in there. What's weird is the hair that never fell out is growing. In the back most of it is about an inch long, but very thin. I wonder if what I have left will come out when I start back on chemo after the surgery. Today would have been tx 5 of 6.

Good morning ladies hope everyone is having a side effect-free weekend

I have a PETscan coming up on Tues Apr 8th. Please hop in my pocket and hold my hand. I've been having back pain again (I do have a compression fracture at the site of my T4 met, so hopefully that is what's causing this pain). I need all of your positive thoughts, vibes and prayers please. I won't get the results for TWO WEEKS when I am scheduled to see my onc for a follow up. blarrrrrgllllllll the waiting is the hardest part!

tekwriter ~ I'm just this week losing my eyelashes, 25 days after my chemo ended. I tried to apply some false eyelashes. Let's just say the results were LOLworthy 

Lisa ~ your wig looks awesome and your bald head looks nice! No visible dents or scars

Just now jumped in your pocket, CarpeVinum! Good luck!