Starting Chemo in December 2013

So many posts I want to respond to but can't this morning. I am joining all of you that have taxol today....round 2 out of 4. Not looking forward to the leg pain but hopefully the pain meds I was prescribed will be of better help. Between the pain from the nuelasta and the taxol exceeded my pain tolerance and I was so afraid of falling b/c my news felt like buckling. Good luck to all who will be joining me today!!! Hopefully I will get back on and be able to respond to all the great posts!!!

Charlotte

off to the BGC, my thoughts with all of us as well.

I met with PS yesterday, made me feel good to have a surgery date for early June.  Will have port out, permanent gels, and the brow lift I mentioned just for me!  I may look like Rocky Balboa for awhile but at least I see an end in sight...no pun intended.  Declaring this the summer of ME, find my new normal, build back my endurance, lose this weight and spend more time with those I love.  Always been a workaholic, but I've learned allot from having this crap....let the small things go and work hard but not so hard you forget what's important...which is my family and having more free time to enjoy the rewards.  Lots of travel plans!  I think I will start Pilates soon with my daughter, that should get this flabby body some core strength.

jackieak- the summer of ME. I like that! Your plans and attitude sound great. Yiu go girl!

Djj..You'll do great.  What an honor.  Jackleak, I'm with you on the summer of "me".  I too have several trips planned.  I never do anything.  My husband is a home body which makes it hard.  I'm going to stay with one of my friends relatives in Cape Cod with 5 of my girlfriends from high school in June.  My sister has a timeshare in Atlantic City she wants too use in July with a couple of my other sisters,and my husband an I are planning a trip to Aruba in August.  It's nuts to think about.  We've been married 18 years in July and had wanted to go back to Aruba for our 5 year anniversary.  Life happened and we never made it back.  As son as I was diagnosed he said we were going to Aruba as soon as my treatment was done. I had dinner the other night with the 5 friends from high school and one of them actually acted jealous when she heard all my plans for this summer.  Really???? A true friend would have been happy for me.  I think I've earned a little "me" time. Heck, I'd say I've earned a lot of it.  Cancer really puts everything in perspective.  Especially when it comes to relationships.  Good luck to all of you going through treatment today. 

Thank you! For those of you who have been traveling, did you get a sleeve to wear if you had lymph nodes removed? I am scheduled to go to Punta Cana a week after my last chemo treatment (end of April) and I was just wondering about that.  I had 30 removed so thinking it might be a good idea?

RHGSR -  praying for you!!  I know that had to be so scary for you!  

missy, you are gorgeous!! That smile and eyes! Amazing. I wish I looked so good without hair. At least I'm getting used to looking at myself bald and have even taken some pictures of myself but don't go around bare and not ready to share, yet. I have a really long thin head so I think I look funny

holli- good luck dear, that must have been scary. Hoping they get it adjusted so you can go on and finish. Slower is always better. They start slow with me for the first hour slowly ramping it up to a 3 hr infusion. But my sister who is a chemo nurse on LI says you never know when there might be an allergic reaction. Usually if there isn't one by the second infusion you should be ok. This was your second one though right?

thank you ladies. 

Lisaj- yes, this is my second infusion. I thought since I tolerated the second one so well that this one would go smooth too. 

They are infusing me again. Started at 200 ml/hr and titrated up to 350. Tolerating it ok now. The first time ( when I had the reaction) it was at 500.  

I was so scared. Once I could breathe again I started crying. Feel like such a baby. 

missy, that story was too funny....I bet the nurses were talking about that for days!:)

yeah, Holli, I would have been crying, too!

RHGSR, sorry that happened to you.  That must have been horrifying.  You have experienced WAY to much of what we all fear might happen on this crazy roller coaster.  Missy, I too laughed out loud when I read your story.  My family got a good laugh over dinner too.  I talk about you girls a lot   You have made this journey tolerable.  I went to have my mapping done for rads today.  They were very nice and comforting.  It turns out the lady who came out to get me was my cousin.  She's about 13 years older than me and hadn't seen me since I was 2 or 3.  What a small world.  I thought I would be starting on April 7 at the earliest, but they have me scheduled for April 4.  The sooner the better.  Can't wait till this is over. 

Welcome Michelle, your pics are beautiful.  I had a lot of lymph nodes removed and use a sleeve and gauntlet for exercise and travel.  Also, I highly recommend, if you can, see a physical therapist who specializes in lymphedema.  Easier to prevent then to deal with if it happens.  Funny story, thanks for sharing.  I had a panic attack after my first chemo.

Holli - How scary.   They'll will know what to do next time so this shouldn't happen again.  You must be exhausted, what a day.  Take care of yourself.

DJJ - I hope that your friends are able to tape your speech and you can share it with us. 

Mikesgirl - I saw my PS today to have my TE reduced a little for rads.  I will have my CT Scan and prep. tomorrow.  Not sure if they will accomplish all the necessary prep. stuff.  I guess I wasn't paying all that much attention to the RO.  I will let you know when my start date is.  

Ladies - My PS told me today that I have to wait 9 to 12 months after rads for the PS.  What are you hearing?  My RO told me 6 mos.  Do I need to find a new PS?  I always feel like he is in a hurry every time I see him.  Annoyed.

Barbara - I found that the Taxol would make me swell sometimes in my hands and feet.   I was told that if both of your hands are swelling, it is not lymphedema.  My RO told me that if you are borderline lymphedema, rads can bring you to the point where you have it.  I think that I will make an appt. with my PT every other week so she can make sure that I am circulating properly and I will wear my sleeve everyday during rads just to play it safe.  Glad to hear that your counts are hanging in there.  

Kim

Welcome Michelle, sorry you are here but glad you found us. I so understand your story that is what happened to me under different circumstances that started my panic/anxiety disorder that I have had now for several years but is under control with meds. The mind can convince of anything and our bodies react to it. Your pics are beautiful!!!

Holli, that must have been such a horrifying experience especially going in with confidence that if nothing happened the first time things should have been fine the second round. I did my second round today and felt a little different the first 10 minutes but whatever it was real or my own anxiety it went away. I forget what my rate is but it takes 3 hours  and my pre-meds about an hour. My MO talked to me about the pain and said if I can not tolerate the pain this time with my script for pain relief then I can choose to have my next 2 doses done differently....once a week x 3 weeks, and 1 week off. That will add to my finish date so I am debating but won't make up my mind until I see how I do with the pain this time. Have to go tomorrow for the nuestra shot which I won't need if I change the plan but she did say I may need the other one which I forget what it was called but I think began with a P....I need to record these conversations during chemo b/c I forget everything by the time I get home...lol. I hope you are feeling better now.

Sorry to all who I wanted to re-read all your great news and respond but I am just too tired and too scattered brain to do tonight!!!

Charlotte

Thank you everybody for your warm welcome to this very special group of women.  I have gained strength from you all even when you didn't know it.  Funny how the side effects can be so varied.....I have been blessed to have no nausea and just struggle the most with tiredness and of course the body aches but not so much any longer without the neulasta.  My counts continue to all remain in the normal range from week to week with the Taxol so i'm happy about that.  They were watching my liver enzymes for awhile but we came to the conclusion that I was taking too many tylenol's and once i stopped taking those the liver enzymes went back to normal.  Of all the things i struggle with the most its my butt.  What a subject but feel i can share with you all and you would understand.  I just get angry, I mean....i go in for breast cancer, one would think that would be my worst problem, then i get these stupid hemorrhoids that literally made it feel like each BM was like pooping shattered glass out of my bottom! I would just sit and cry! I can't even begin to count how many baths i have taken over the last couple of months as that was the only thing that provided relief!  It's still a struggle, but slowly getting better.  I guess time will heal this as well!! 

I put this on my facebook page.....I think you all can relate to what I wrote:

Cancer, damn……you’re tough. You’ve taken my breast, you’ve taken 34 of my lymph nodes, and you’ve taken my hair and my strength and my will at times. You’ve taken those from me that I loved…..you don’t seem to ever want to give up, do you? You’re a mean ol’ bitch but I’m NOT going to let you take me. You hear? You will NOT get me too. I will fight you to the very end. Some days I may not have the strength and you may feel like you are winning, but I’m really just taking a much needed rest to attack you even more. I have some good friends that are working with me on this…..The first 2 were called AC or better yet, nick-named the “Red Devil”. Pretty fierce, huh? I can see you got pretty scared when you saw them coming at you, didn’t you? They beat the crap out of any of your little cells that might have been hiding in my body. And now…AC is done but its friend Taxol is taking over the fight. She’s gone 8 rounds now out of 12. She is a mild mannered, sneaky partner of mine. She fights just as hard as the Red Devil, but she is attacking you from a different direction. So you see? Between me and my friends, you really don’t stand a chance. Oh….I failed to mention, when these friends are done…..I’m bringing out the big guns…..35 rounds of radiation blasting away at you. Ha! I knew that would get you! Trembling now, aren’t ya? Good.

I also have the most amazing support system out there. My family, My John, My friends, My job, My Doctors and Nurses and My God. Without all of them fighting this fight with me I don’t know if I would find the strength and courage. It’s the most incredible blessing in the world to be loved…..and to know you are not alone, EVER, in this fight.

Good night to all....funny when going to bed at 8:00 used to seem early, now its just the norm!!

Missy, wow...that's all I can say is wow!! You need to write a bc column or speak to a group! You are funny yet so real.  I'm actually looking forward to your posts. Keep 'em coming girl!