Should I tell my child's teachers about what's going on?

We told our six-year-old son about my BMX the week before so he could ask questions, etc. As we listened to his questions, and knowing he would be staying with friends for the school week that I had the surgery (so he'd be completely out of his routine), I decided to let his teacher know what was going on. I did it partly so if he asked her if she had had her breasts taken off (lol) she would have some context, but also because he loves her and I wanted her to know he might need a little extra TLC. She wrote me the sweetest note, and really went out of her way to make sure he was ok, and that I knew it (both of which were greatly appreciated). And this probably sounds crazy, but I had this fear that he would go to school and ask some of the questions that were going through his mind, and someone would take that as his being inappropriate in some way, so I felt better knowing that the school knew what was going on.

Hi Kayla,

I have four school aged kids - elementary, midddle and highschool.  I told.  I thought it best that school know what's going on - at the time I told them, all I knew was my DX and surgery plans.  I explained what was going on and told them that I wanted them to know just in case the kids seemed "off".  

I have to say, it was a great move.  My elementary daughter was very upset and scared and like your daughter told me that she worried a lot even at school.  I told her that I told her teacher, and her teacher handled it beautifully, she asked me before she approached my daughter, she knew the milestones, she took care of her on the hard days ....  

The guidance counselor and social worker at the high school and middle school have also been wonderful.  They let my kids know (afer checking with me before checking with them) that they never have to sit in class worried, that they don't need a pass to get up and go to the nurse or the office, that they can skip a test if they can't concentrate.  I have teens and pre-teens - none of them has taken advantage in a negative way, and only one has really taken the opportunity to visit the social worker.  

BUT - I think the kids feel much safer at school knowing that there is an adult who knows.   I also told the important coaches.

And - I called the moms of my kids closest friends.  I wanted them to hear from me, before they heard from their kids, so that they could assure their kids that I would be fine.

Finally (I think this might be my longest post since January!).... I got three books - two of them might be perfect for your daughter:

- The Year My Mother Was Bald

- My Family Has Cancer Too

both easy to read and targeted for the under 12 set.

I also got a book called "My Parent has Cancer and it Really Sucks".... I have left it lying around but nobody has really picked it up except me.  It's well written and helped me understand how my kids might  be feeling.

Good Luck with everything!!!
Jen