Starting Chemo, November 2013 Group

Options
1…103104106108109…125

Comments

  • Bec65
    Bec65 Member Posts: 312
    edited March 2014

    Yes, we CAN do this.  We're going to do this, one hour at a time, because we have been doing this one hour at a time and we can see it through.  We deserve the new life we're getting when this phase is over!  People don't usually have to pay for the rest of their lives like we're doing, and we're going to keep going and get to that pot of gold!  

    Smrlvr, how was your first day back?  

    Northwinds, how are you?

    Phebe and Paulette, good to hear from you!

    Lisa and Amazon, I hate days when I feel so fragile.  For me, any day that one unexpected thing happens throws me over the edge.  So, like everyday.  As I type, DS and I are enjoying Love It or List It.....HGTV, my refuge.....

    I have 7 rads left, and I'm starting to get scared.  Is that crazy, or what?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • smrlvr
    smrlvr Member Posts: 422
    edited March 2014

    Happy beeatch day!

    Amazon, you can totally do,this.  Once chemo is over tomorrow, just take care of yourself and get stronger.  Are you having radiation? 

    Lisa, I am glad you are feeling better.  I totally know how you feel about approaching the end of chemo.  Once you start feeling better, your mind no longer focuses on how crappy you feel so you begin to thing about your own reality. Once radiation starts, it's just a countdown to the end of treatment when we no longer see our doctors regularly.

    I went back to work today, and I am exhausted.  But I was reminded of what my life used to be like, and when I was carefree. I was so busy, I was able to,forget for a while.  Then I sat in my car on the way to rads and recalled the biopsy, diagnosis, BMX, pain, drains, chemo, puking, more pain, cording.  That's my vent.

    Phebe, it's good,to hear from you.

    I wanted to walk today, but I am so tired.  I would go but it is so cold and windy here, I can't take walking in it any more.  Enough is enough.  It is supposed to be 9 degrees tonight and more snow expected tomorrow. Sorry for the extra vent.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • QuirkyGirl
    QuirkyGirl Member Posts: 383
    edited March 2014

    You can so this!  I'm five weeks PFC and life is better!  My racing heart rate is gone, my neuropathy has improved, and the leaden leg feelings are significantly better.  No more drippy eyes or bloody nasal discharge either.  And actual salt and pepper peach fuzz has grown.  I'm waiting to see how my skin and energy levels do with radiation  (only on 4 of 30), but the miserably ill part of chemo is gone.  You'll be here before you know it!!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • wallymama
    wallymama Member Posts: 146
    edited March 2014

    Happy Beeatch Day!

    We can, we will all do this. We will finish and be healthy. We do not have to like one minute of it. And we can, and will whine, groan, and complain about all of it.

    I'm tired of pills. I'm tired of doctor appointments. I'm tired of blood work. I'm tired of nothing tasting right. I'm tired of weird pains sprouting up. I'm tired of the runny eyes. I'm tired of being cold. I'm tired of being bald. I'm tired of feeling like I want to cry at strange times. I'm tired of all of it.

    Since being tired of it won't make it go away, I guess we just bear it. Some of this crap is so freaking bad I'm not sure that I could wish it on even someone like Hitler.

    Two more taxotere, then surgery, then radiation. I got really depressed the other day when I realized I still have at least 4 months of treatment to go.

    What I really want is one day, just one stupid, freaking day, when IT isn't the largest thing looming in my mind.

    That is what I think I'm most tired of. That no matter what I'm doing, or thinking of, it's just always there. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Amazonwarrior
    Amazonwarrior Member Posts: 485
    edited March 2014

    Wally: Amen!!! I hear you and am with you along your struggles! I am too tired of it all, but we can do this! 

    We must! 

    Thinking of you! 

    Hugs 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Amazonwarrior
    Amazonwarrior Member Posts: 485
    edited March 2014

    Lisa, phebe, bec, smrlvr, quirky, wally: You made my day a much better one by your support and kind words!

    Smrlr: Yes, I am going to do 25 rads. 

    God bless!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lisa137
    lisa137 Member Posts: 569
    edited March 2014

    I just carried our two bins of recycling out to our curb. Or, should I say, I waddled out two bins of recycling out to the curb; my knees still aren't working quite right so I think "waddle" is a fair description of my current gait. I was puffing like steam engine when I got back into the house. I'm only 49! This is something I am *definitely* tired of!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Amazonwarrior
    Amazonwarrior Member Posts: 485
    edited March 2014

    lisa: I am only 42, but feel like an old woman! I also waddle, shuffle and crawl, whatever works at the time!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Bec65
    Bec65 Member Posts: 312
    edited March 2014

    Wallymama, I hear you too!  Smrlvr used the word "carefree."  That's what I miss the most, being carefree.  Where every single solitary move I make doesn't have this undercurrent of cancer.  Every f***ing thing.  

    In an effort to make some smiles, did I mention yesterday that I have 5 o'clock shadows for eyebrows?  I think LIfe is really trying to piss me off though, because I'm pretty sure they're coming in grey.  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lisa137
    lisa137 Member Posts: 569
    edited March 2014

    Bec, this:

    "That's what I miss the most, being carefree. Where every single
    solitary move I make doesn't have this undercurrent of cancer. Every
    f***ing thing."

    This says it all. It's like I look at the entire world through cancer-colored eyeglasses now, and I want to stop that, but I don't know how.  Maybe it's something that comes with time or maybe it's a permanent change and one day it will seem "normal." But right now it's incredibly depressing. I guess tonight I'm just feeling pretty bleak, but even when I'm feeling okay, it's still there, it creeps in on the most mundane thoughts or even the happiest thoughts. 

    My ex-boyfriend was hypnotized about 15 years ago to stop smoking cigarettes. He did not WANT to stop smoking, not even a little bit, but he was diagnosed with a life-threatening auto-immune disease, a rare one, and NEEDED to quit smoking, so his mother convinced him to TRY hypnosis. He did it only to please her, even stopped on his way to the hypnotist's office to buy a pack of cigarettes. 15 years later he *occasionally* smokes a cigar, but has not smoked a cigarette since that day. And he didn't want to quit, he *emphatically* did not want to quit.

    I wonder if that hypnotist could make me take off my cancer-colored eyeglasses. Because I most emphatically would like to.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • audra67
    audra67 Member Posts: 521
    edited March 2014

    Hi y'all!  Just read 4 pages of posts!  I am rooting for you Amazon!  Hooray on your last one!  Lisa yours is coming- hang in there!  There is recovery and you will be there soon!  Your aches and pains and burns and nausea and crying and worry and weakness ~ they will GO AWAY!!!!!! Your energy will return!!!  Do NOT worry! 

    I cannot believe how much better and 'normal' I feel just 9.5 weeks out...seems like a couple of months ago I worried I would be 'alive' or able to walk around the block, or travel or anything and miraculously I have done them all.  Got 9500 steps on my little pedometer today and walked, bought flowers to plant outside, went to Target twice, dentist appt., got daughter at school, went to P.T. appointment, made dinner, and NOT even worn out!  Praise God!  There is HOPE!!!

    My nails are like yours Bec and look awful but they are growing out with new nail coming .. my feet are still sore and peely too but those seem to be the only things left lingering...

    Jab- happy for you to pick reconstruction and you will have both the same and symmetrical and all...nice to get to choose also...:)

    Hi tonilee, srlvr,inks, paulette, pat, phebe, wally,

    hoping you all feel WAY better this week~ hang in there!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Veronica37
    Veronica37 Member Posts: 71
    edited March 2014

    audra- I am 7.5 weeks out and hair is coming in good on sides and in back but the top is very thin, like an old man. How is yours doing? Wondering if I may need rogaine?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • inks
    inks Member Posts: 746
    edited March 2014

    Amazon - congratulations on your last chemo today! Step by step closer to radiation and being done with all this.

    Veronica - that is so weird, my hair is coming in better on top, sides are thin. But it is uneven all over. I am taking Biotin, but I don't know if it's doing anything.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jab
    jab Member Posts: 220
    edited March 2014

    hi amazon - good luck today!!! (((((Hugs))))). I'm here if you want to talk. 

    Lisa - I felt very conflicted too on my last chemo. For me it was "if I don't get chemo, how will I know the cancer won't come back" . Um working through that one. Much emotion associated with the big C.

    To my other friends in the chemo tunnel, I see you. You can do this.

    I'm finally out of the house and able to do errands post last chemo, so will get caught  up with you all tonight.

    My thoughts are with you all!!!

    JAB

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • NorthwindsGS
    NorthwindsGS Member Posts: 128
    edited March 2014

    Anyone hear me scream last night?  Once I started I didn't want to stop......

    I screamed for my lost life, my hair, eyebrows and lashes.  For my energy, my youth, my vitality.  For you my friends, my family and my fur kids.  I screamed for my loss of security, income, time.  I screamed for my fear,  my scars, health and security.  

    I think I scared my hubby, I know I scared the neighbors down the road.......

    On a good note, my SNB for my melanoma came back clear.  Makes me a stage 1b.  Hurray!  Melanoma is a ugly beast.....aggressive and sneaky.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ellenkc
    ellenkc Member Posts: 173
    edited March 2014

    Wonderful news, Northwinds!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Bec65
    Bec65 Member Posts: 312
    edited March 2014

    Northwinds, I'm so happy for you!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • inks
    inks Member Posts: 746
    edited March 2014

    Northwinds - that's wonderful news about your melanoma!

    My brain CT came also back clear. I still have the vision issues and head aches. Migraine meds and eye doctor next.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • QuirkyGirl
    QuirkyGirl Member Posts: 383
    edited March 2014

    Yay northwinds and inks!!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Bec65
    Bec65 Member Posts: 312
    edited March 2014

    Woo hoo, inks!  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Amazonwarrior
    Amazonwarrior Member Posts: 485
    edited March 2014

    I am FINISHED with chemo!!!

    I am ECSTATIC because they also took out my PICC line so I am finally FREE. The procedure took about 5 min with flushing the line and then the actual pulling took about 2 seconds. I didn't even notice any discomfort. I can take a shower now and don't have to worry about covering my arm. I am THRILLED!!!

    Me and my family went out tonight to our favourite restaurant to CELEBRATE!

    So, I am about 3 hours PFC!!! It's almost hard to believe!!! Would someone pitch me so I am not just dreaming this?

    You ladies are fabulous! You helped me get through this hell with your cheers, thoughts and prayers. Your support  carried me over the finnish line. For this I express my deepest gratitude to everyone here.

    I know that I still have the chemo fallout to deal with for weeks to come and it will be difficult as usual, but today was the LAST chemo so things will be only getting BETTER!

    Pam, inks: I am happy to hear the good news about your clear results! That's wonderful!!

    Judy: I will give you a shout when my voice gets better as it feels rather hoarse with all the steroids that I am on right now. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Amazonwarrior
    Amazonwarrior Member Posts: 485
    edited March 2014

    Here is a pic from my last chemo!!!

    Oh no, the chemo turned me into a frog!!!

    image

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Amazonwarrior
    Amazonwarrior Member Posts: 485
    edited March 2014

    Here is an updated one! I am ALIVE!!!

    Froggy and I are EXTREMELY happy!!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Amazonwarrior
    Amazonwarrior Member Posts: 485
    edited March 2014

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ellenkc
    ellenkc Member Posts: 173
    edited March 2014

    You look gorgeous, Amazon. And love the smile! -- Ellen

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • smrlvr
    smrlvr Member Posts: 422
    edited March 2014

    Amazon, congrats on finishing chemo!  I knew you could do it.

    Pam and Inks, great news on your test results!  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lisa137
    lisa137 Member Posts: 569
    edited March 2014

    There, Amazon, you see? I TOLD you you could do it, and now aren't you glad you did? 

    Now to get through those SE's just ONE MORE TIME, and you're home free.

    Congratulations!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Bec65
    Bec65 Member Posts: 312
    edited March 2014

    Congrats, Amazon!  You look fabulously happy!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • QuirkyGirl
    QuirkyGirl Member Posts: 383
    edited March 2014

    Hooray for you Anazon!!! Even the SE will be easier because you'll know every day that its the bleeping last time you'll have to go through it!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lissy2304
    Lissy2304 Member Posts: 60
    edited March 2014

    Congratulations Amazon! It feels wonderful doesn't it? 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories