Post Chemo Anxiety

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Denise726
Denise726 Member Posts: 6
edited June 2014 in Managing Side Effects of Breast Cancer and Its Treatment

Since having chemo, I have noticed that I am overwhelmed with anxiety to the point where I become short of breath or I just prefer to lay in the bed and do nothing all day. I have been a housewife since my diagnosis in Sept. but it is making me feel useless now. I have been at home for the past five months so when I do go out the house, I am eager to get back home. Nobody speaks about the post chemo. The oncologist office was my life for months and now I have to fend for myself. I am wondering if anyone else suffers the same way? I feel like my quality of life is lost. I want to find a way to feel normal but I don't know how.  I am 42 years old so my chemo started menopause early for me so I am feeling emotionally off balance as well. I have never been out of control of my feelings. I feel like I am alone in this matter. :(

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  • Gully
    Gully Member Posts: 268
    edited March 2014

    Denise

    You are absolutely not alone! I felt the same way after active treatment was over. It is normal to feel the way you do at this time. During treatment you focus on getting though it. You plan only as far ahead as your next appointment. In a weird way it is comforting to know "the team" is watching over you. It will get better with time. Have you been to a survivorship class yet? The class coaches you on what to expect "after cancer" treatment. Diet, exercise, emotional and sexual health issues are all discussed. all things we all must deal with. I was dx at 45 and have been chemically slammed into menopause by the chemo. Keep in contact with your MO there are meds to help sleep problems, depression, help hot flashes, and even meds to combat the sexual issues caused by the hormone blockers. I just had my one year out appointment today and I can tell you I was really nervous. The MO telling me that I am ok and doing well made me release alot of anxiety I was carrying. Remember it takes a while for the chemo drugs to fully leave the body, be kind to yourself, and give yourself time to heal emotionally. Some docs equate the time after treatment to post traumatic stress disorder. You have been through alot both body and soul. Log on and vent, we are here for you and we all understand. Hugs to you!

    Gully 

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  • peacestrength
    peacestrength Member Posts: 690
    edited March 2014

    Denise - you are not alone.  My life has changed...alot...but many things are the same. 

    Take it day by day.  For each day, small steps. 

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  • Denise726
    Denise726 Member Posts: 6
    edited March 2014

    peacestrength Thank you so much! I have to understand that I can't rush this process. I have been stuck for so long it seems but one day at a time.... I will try.

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  • Denise726
    Denise726 Member Posts: 6
    edited March 2014

    Gully,

    Thank you for your words of encouragement. It makes me feel better to know I have a sounding board of people who have been through what I am facing. It is comforting. I try to explain my issues to my husband and he tries to be supportive but I know he couldn't possibly fully understand me since I have a hard time putting it all into words. I have also noticed the problem with sexual function and I can't imagine that part of my life having issues because I have been in a loving marriage for 15 years. I find myself needing to express my issues with someone all the time but I haven't been anywhere to do so. I am stuck in the house since my husband is at work 12 hours a day. It gets pretty lonely and it leaves me with too much time to think. I haven't been to any type of support groups since we are sharing one car right now. After 14 years, my car decided it wanted to stop moving. Talk about bad timing. I need something to occupy my time so that I don't have time to be an emtional wreck. I know it will get better. It has to.

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  • Luvmydobies
    Luvmydobies Member Posts: 766
    edited March 2014

    I totally understand what you're feeling. I finished chemo seven months ago and have anxiety every day. I was on Remeron but have tapered off of it. I am currently tapering off Klonopin also, because it's not safe to be on Benzo's for very long and I've been on it since June. My tumor was Triple Negative so chemo was the only treatment option since hormone therapy doesn't work for my type of tumor. I had surgery first. But now it feels like I'm alone. I don't miss chemo but it's like you lose your safety net. I'm too stay at home and we don't have kids. Our dog's are our kids. Lol. I'm scared to be alone as well. My husband has been great but he travels internationally some for his job and my family is 1600 miles away. My parents are retired so they could get here if need be but still it's scary, especially when I think of the conflicting statistics of Triple Negative patients. Anyway you have to try to keep busy whether it's exercising, cleaning the house, reading, etc. I need to heed my own advice here so I'm not preaching to you. Hang in there!

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  • Denise726
    Denise726 Member Posts: 6
    edited March 2014

    Luvmydobies I totally understand what you mean about finding things to do. I no longer socialize with other people and I haven't been anywhere in months. This is truly not normal behavior but I don't know how to change it. I refuse to stay on medication for anxiety. I cook, clean and exercise but I find myself staying in bed longer and longer each day. I need to work part time but I don't know if my emotional state will allow it. It seems like the walls are closing in since my diagnosis. We need the income because my husband is struggling to make all of these ends meet and it breaks my heart that I am not helping him. We are a  team and I am useless right now. I feel stuck. I am thankful for my life but I feel like I need to be doing more to help in our home so it makes me depressed. I have to find a way to shake this feeling. :( You hang in there as well!!

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  • Lauralind5
    Lauralind5 Member Posts: 220
    edited March 2014

    Oh Im so there as well. Ive been told to stop thinking about cancer so much but I have so many left over side effects of treatment, how can I possibly NOT think about cancer all the time? Ive had dreams about mets lately, sigh.  I have mammogram scheduled in a month but Im more concerned about mets, and that's not followed up unless you have symptoms, I don't understand that philosophy and nor does that help with any little thing I feel.

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  • Sierra
    Sierra Member Posts: 1,638
    edited March 2014

    Hello there:

    It is perfectly normal to feel like this

    Personally, after all my TX were done

    I had to have some counselling

    and just talk to a good doctor

    It did help me a lot as I had the right person

    it takes time

    and only 1 day at a time

    With  help & support, and changing my lifestyle

    Im blessed to be at l4 years now

    Sending light and peace to you

    Sierra :)

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  • Luvmydobies
    Luvmydobies Member Posts: 766
    edited March 2014

    Lauralind, my biggest fear is mets too! It's hard to know what's normal anymore. It's like do I feel crappy some days due to stress and crying every day? Or is there actually something wrong?!! Every ache and pain, upset stomach, sore throat, cut, etc. scares me! So frustrating!

    Sierra, that's awesome that you are 14 years out! 

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  • shorfi
    shorfi Member Posts: 791
    edited March 2014

    I know exactly how you feel Luvmydobies...I am having my exchange surgery on April 9th and it seems as if everyone thinks that it is over and I should be able to move on. Do they realize the fear you live with? And for me, being diagnosed a second time with a new primary? 

    My body aches all the time, so I would not be able to tell if it is mets or just getting old...I will be 60 in September. Sorry for being a Debbie Downer today.

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  • Luvmydobies
    Luvmydobies Member Posts: 766
    edited March 2014

    shorfi, nobody understands our fears unless they've been in our shoes. Remember that your Triple Negative tumor was caught early at stage I and it didn't spread. That's a good thing! Keep is posted after surgery. We'll be thinking of you and I'll be praying. Oh and never apologize for being down. We all get it!!

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  • shorfi
    shorfi Member Posts: 791
    edited March 2014

    Lovemydobies...had appointment with MO this past Friday.  Had a complete meltdown and we had a long conversation.  I told her about feeling depressed and told her I was taking Lexapro. She suggested that we up the milligrams or change to Zoloft.  I told her to make the recommendation and she wrote me a script for Zoloft.  Told to take it in the evening and I started it on Friday. For some reason it has started to work because I feel great and don't want to lay around in bed in bed anymore. She said I should feel results in a couple of weeks, but I am feeling a difference now!! She once again reassured me that my prognosis was excellent. She explained what to look out for also, weight loss if I was not trying and bone pain. I told her I hurt all the time and she said it would be a different kind of pain. 

    So I'm trying to move ahead. For some reason this Zoloft is suppressing my appetite, which is a good thing. I can stand to lose a few pounds...lol. Thank you very much for your prayers.

    Ten more days to my exchange...yay!!!

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited March 2014

    Denise, I am 2 months ahead of you. I just started coming out of the doom & gloom. I know it will take a long time to get my life back, but I see progress in the last 2-3 weeks. 

    I also have those short of breath, anxiety driven times. In the beginning I thought I should be able to control my emotions. Now I realize, it will come & go, and I need to sit, relax, read, cup of tea. 

    I had a survivorship appt. with a oncology nurse practitioner. She went over my case with me, talked about what to do to move forward. It was helpful. Ask if your center has something like that...keep posting, it helps...

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