Is it OK to not want to live like that?

Hi Percy

That is a choice only you can make, I have also made the choice not to take tamoxifen or a AI. I feel pressure sometimes on the boards and previously my oncologist but my choice is mine. I am looking into DIM and have gotten a lot of information here on the boards about it. I gave up my ovaries at age 44, instant menopause, I feel for you with the hot flashes its a tough time. I have to live with my choices and if I do have a reoccurrence I will not think its because I didn't take my AI.  Go with your gut or heart and do what you feel is right for you and its okay. Best to you.

Hi Percy, we are faced with so many difficult decisions on this road! Your last sentence really struck me - would you like to live like you? One thing that has really hit home to me from having breast cancer is just how precious every day is and how unpredictable life can be. How do you want to live the rest of your life? Something tragic could happen tomorrow and dealing with the SE of an Al would be for naught. I have decided not to take Tamoxifen for the same reasons. I am 41 and I don't want to be thrown into menopause (even if not permanently) at this point in my life. My daughter is young and this decision does weigh heavily on me. In the end, the small decrease in my chance of a recurrence is not worth SEs for me. I feel like I have lost enough already (well, about to lose my breast) and, dammit, I'm not giving up my youth too!!

taking the AL only lowers my risk of recurrance by two percent , not worth feeling awful over.  My risk is low already, due to BMX and hysterectomy.  I think this disease go enough of me.  I am doing what you are doing, upping my exercise ( yes, the house is currently a mess,LOL) and eating healthier.  I feel great.  Vs feeling awful on the al.  

Only thought in the back of my mind is that I was exercising and eating healthy before my first diagnosis.........but I am still putting my eggs in that basket and there is no guarantee either way, so I won't beat myself up if the small chance of recurrance happens.

All I can say is good luck to all of us!!!!

Yorkiemom-

  Perhaps this isn't the place to say this and forgive me as I am sure you are coming from a place of concern in helping Solen assess her situation but as a newcomer to any breast cancer site, I have to say I am really surprised how many times others feel they have to define DCIS or point out that it is not invasive, can not metastasize, or even say it's not really breast cancer. With all due to respect those with invasive types of breast cancer and as the sister of two who happily can say they are breast cancer survivors of IDC and the wife of a wonderful man who lost his mother to breast cancer at 43, those of us with DCIS face many of the same tough decisions with probably a little more uncertain treatment plans. No, it will not kill me and certainly that is a big factor. But I do know the fear that comes with a potentially life threatening illness. Though normally very healthy, I had another health crisis three years ago that only effects women. As the mother to a two week old infant I faced a difficult diagnosis and uncertain recovery. For the first  and only other time, I sought out information from an online support site. Women in this group ran the gamete from mildly effected to having had or waiting for heart transplants.  There were no separate sites for "stages", everyone supported each other no matter how easy or difficult their journey, they were there for each other. I can sadly not say I have felt that same support amongst the breast cancer group. I digress as this is really about supporting Solen and I speak only for myself and perhaps am a little sensitive, but I would like to encourage others to consider that the losses physical and emotion that those of with DCIS are no less real or painful than others with invasive types of cancer. It sometimes feels like we go through all this and we don't even get the pink t-shirt? It is a little disheartening. Solen- I apologize for using this forum to vent and will continue to think of you.

Hi Percy, 

There are so many differences in people's circumstances that there just can't be a one-size-fits all answer. An oncologist's job (as they see it usually) is to treat the cancer & minimize the risks (they of course balance that with risks from treatment which is why not all women get chemo). So they will generally 'push' according to the numbers. You have to figure in the other stuff. 

One option for you might be to try tamoxifen, one of its SEs in women who are post menopausal is that it actually increases bone density. I does, for a lot of women, bring on hot flashes. It has for me & I have been able to control them with effexor. Since it's a pill, there is the alternative of just trying it for awhile & weighing the actual side effects that you experience against the benefits. Just an idea. 

havetolaugh - There are a lot of reasons for people to help define the difference between invasive and non-invasive cancers that do not have anything at all to do with an attempt to diminish or make light of the circumstances that those with DCIS face. The biggest reason is to help newbies understand their treatment options & why the treatments being proposed for them are what they are. It's confusing for them if they see a signature line with DCIS stage 1 in it & it also created confusion when someone with that in their signature line asks a question. I think that if you stick around here, you will find that the women here are very supportive and understanding of one another. We all know that this is scary and hard for all of us and comparisons of 'my cancer is worse than yours, or my cancer is just as bad as yours' are worthless. The division of stages and types is really because there are some things that (for instance) a woman with a triple negative or a her2+ diagnosis can understand that I can't. Other than one forum that is for stage IV members only, you'll see that women with all stages post on other threads, but generally, I'm not going to comment on an IBC thread because I don't really have anything to offer. What I'm trying to say is that we want you her & understand that whatever our diagnosis we all can use some support and information and hugs. (((hugs)))  

Ziggypop-

   I realize the question re staging may have come in attempt to help assess risks and offer help and I eluded to such in my first sentence. I certainly did not mean to detract from anyone's experiences or good intentions but to be honest I have read other entries that did make me feel a little like there is some underlying mine is worse than yours mentality. The last few months have felt a little like pledging a sorority your can't join and don't really want to be.  I am hopeful I may never "leave" this group to join to the IDC group. I actually have a pretty good outlook and sense of humor about all this though it didn't show this time. Perhaps I am just having a moment and just a little tired. In any event I meant no disrespect and appreciate those that do reach out.

have2laugh, 

As someone who often asks women about what appears to be inconsistent information on a diagnosis line, I appreciate yorkiemon's question to Solen, and I'm glad that Solen was able to get her diagnosis line corrected.

The reason I ask the the question when I see inconsistencies is because I have spent years answering questions and trying to explain to women with DCIS that DCIS is always and only Stage 0. I can't tell you how many DCIS women I have had to pull off the ledge, after they have seen a post from someone with a diagnosis line that says "DCIS, Stage IIIa" who is talking about chemo treatments or perhaps a post in the Stage IV forum from someone who started out with "DCIS, Stage IIb". Some women with DCIS are convinced their doctors are wrong when they tell them that chemo isn't prescribed for DCIS because they've seen women on this board who have DCIS and who've had chemo.  And some women with DCIS fear that DCIS can progress to mets - regardless of what their doctors told them - because they have seen quite a number of women on this board who have mets but who started with DCIS. 

For me, it's not a question of assessing risk or in any way downplaying a diagnosis of DCIS.  My concern is that inaccurate information, even on just a diagnosis line, can lead to confusion and concerns and sometimes even to panic.  I've seen it happen way too many times.

thank you, have2laugh!

Didn't know I could cause so much controversy.  The truth is, my real journey is a bit complicated, but I am fine and happy.  I tend to not like to be dramatic about the whole stinkin thing that is my breast cancer.  Which makes it a bit ironic that my info caused so much trouble.  Like I said I had tried to fix it, and kept getting a message that it couldn't be done.    People cannot always compare themselves to others that are the same stage or diagnosis anyway......too many variables, but of course it is hard not to..  ESP when the diagnosis has to fit in a line or two.  As we all know from our path reports it is not so simple.

And have2laugh, enjoy your little one!  My son is now twelve and the time goes way too fast!