DIEP 2014

I am four weeks out of surgery and my stomach is flat, but hard as a rock (like when I was pregnant).  I was relatively thin and in pretty good shape beforehand.  I still can't wear my jeans, I'm guessing it is swelling.  Can anybody tell me when their swelling went down and they were able to wear most of their pants?  I only have 3 pairs of legging types of pants that fit, if this is going to be for a while, maybe I need to get another pair or two?

Lemon, remember, you just have to show up for surgery. Your OR team knows what to do and your body does, too. You will wake up and even if it's been twelve hours like it was for me, you'll feel like it was five minutes. Of course, Wilbur had me repeatedly asking, "Is it time for surgery yet?" every five minutes in recovery. Oh, Wilbur!  I did go down a pant size after DIEP (not right away!) but it was because my big tummy was gone. My hips and thighs are the same, of course! I can't say I was in good shape before DIEP after surgeries, 6 months of chemo and also rads but I did wait 4 and a half months after chemo ended before having the surgery. I took lots of walks and I did lots of squats before surgery which helped a lot because you're not supposed to put weight on your arms at first. Congrats on having a date! 

Getting my sexy back!  

Chemo 2 of 4 this morning..wish me luck!

Michele

Lemon the most uncomfortable part of the drains are that they are there! Have a plan (and a backup) on how to keep them from "pulling" when you sit. I used the camisole with velcro pouches for the most part and the lanyard in the shower. You will need a backup lanyard because it is uncomfortable to have a wet lanyard around your neck. I was afraid of removal and took a pill an hour before. I never knew they took them out.

Lemon –

I’m amazed by the courage of the DEIP woman too.  I’m amazed by MY courage, Normally I’m
just a big hairy chicken – except for when I was going through chemo, and I was
a big bald chicken. I flinch at the sight of a needle, and cried my way to sleep
during the first two surgeries. (And one of those surgeries was only 30
minutes!).

So when I made the decision to have the DIEP surgery, I knew
I was going to have to deal with my fears. One of the first things I learned
was to accept the fact that I was frightened, and not to fight it.

‘Feel The Fear and Add Some Courage’ is what a friend told
me. It’s okay to be scared sh*tless, but it’s also helpful to add some things
to make you brave.  For me it was
the knowledge that I was doing the right thing. And I needed to use language
that helped me move forward. I refused to think of my BMX as something that
would be taken away, instead I always thought of being ‘rebuilt’. 

And the idea of being put ‘under’ almost gave me a panic
attack. Seriously. I found the whole idea really hard to accept, especially for
12 hours. But I learned that while we are being put under, we are not under
very deeply. Because no organs or muscles are involved, and there is no insult
to the body, we are lightly (and safely) asleep.

During my pre-op appointment, my DH (Jim) and I met with the
anesthetist. Jim was more nervous then me. But the Doctor explained how the
DIEP was a long slow steady marathon and it terms of safety scale, it was at
the top. He also said ‘It’s boring’. I asked what he meant, and he said that
there’s nothing for him to do. No highs or lows, just a sweet steady sleep. Jim
visibly relaxed after that, and so did I.

The other thing I leaned on was guided mediation. I
downloaded this and listened to it often during the month before surgery. I
didn’t think it would work for me, but it was very effective. What I liked is
that it made me feel like I wasn’t alone. Being in that operating room is
daunting, but this meditation gave me reassurance that I was part of a team,
and a family, and was being watched over, and in excellent hands.  She also reminded me that our bodies
are way smarter than we imagine and know how to start the healing while our
brain is resting, and where to send blood while we sleep.

And – that you, and your surgeons, and your famly

The meditation I used was Bellerruth Naparstek ‘Guided
Meditation for a Successful Surgery’. I’ve recommended her to friends going
through surgery, or childbirth, or regular old stress, and it’s been really great. 

And a LOT of the strength that I managed to summon was taken from the girls on this thread. You can do it Lemon! - and you won't be alone. 

Janet

Lemon,

I'm amazed by the courage of the DIEP women too. I'm even amazed by MY courage. Normally I'm just a big hairy chicken - except for when I was going through chemo, when I was a big bald chicken. I flinch at the sight of a needle, and cried when I was put to sleep during the first two surgeries. And one of those surgeries was only 30 minutes. 

So when I made the decision to have DIEP, I knew I was going to have to deal with my fear. One of the first things I learned was to accept the fact that I was frightened, and not to fight it. I chose to respect it instead.

'Feel The Fear and Add Some Courage' is what a friend told me. It's okay to be scared sh*tless, but it's also helpful to add other elements  to make you more brave. For me, firstly, it was the knowledge that I was doing the right thing. And I needed to use language that allowed me to move forward. I rarely used the word mastectomy because it felt like something was being taken away. Instead I thought of it as being 'rebuilt'. Or as one of our girls said, 'frontal realignment'.

And, the concept of being 'under' nearly gave me a panic attack. Seriously. I found the idea really hard to accept, especially for twelve hours. But I learned that even though we are under, we are not under very deeply. Because no organs or vital organs are involved, there is not insult to the body, and we are lightly (and safely) asleep.

During my pre-up appointment, Jim (my DH) and I met with the anesthetist. He explained how the DIEP is a long slow steady marathon, and in terms of safety, it's at the top. He also said, 'It's boring'. I asked what he meant, and he said that there's nothing for him to do. No highs, or lows, just a slow steady sweet sleep. Jim visibly relaxed after he heard that, and so did I.

The other thing that saved me from going off the deep end was guided meditation. I downloaded this, and listened to it often during the month preceeding surgery. I didn't think it would work for me, but it did. What I liked is that it made me feel less alone. Being in that OR in a little gown is daunting, but this meditation reassured me that I was part of a team, and a family, and a community, and that I was lovingly being watched over, and in excellent hands. She also reminded me that our bodies are way smarter than we credit them. and will start healing while our brain is resting, and knows where to send blood while we sleep.

The meditation I used was Belleruth Naparstek's 'Guided Meditation for a Successful Surgery'. I've recommended her to friends going through surgery, or childbirth, or regular old stress, and it's been really great. 

Congratulations on getting a date by the way. May is great time for DIEP, you'll have some warm months to recover. Unless you're already warm, of course. We're in the middle of a crummy deep freeze so I just assume that everyone is frigid. Although I hope that's not the case. (Nihahi - hang in there!)

You can do this Lemon! The courage is there, you just have to find it. And you're not alone. Everyone is one your side, and working toward that same goal. 

Janet

Ashira - Yay! I'm so glad!  Every tiny bit of courage makes things that much easier! 

By the way - April is also a perfect month for fabulous new breasts. 

Michele, thinking of you today! You are definitely going to turn some heads!

Okay Ladies, I have been informed from Brandi @ PRMA I was the 5000th free flap for the group!!  Wow, imagine that!  I am amazed and honored!  Here is what PRMA released:

http://prma-enhance.com/useful_resources/blog/03-0...

I am feeling much better today as the cedar allergy has cleared up.  Thinking of you all. Kat

The flap is doing great.  Me, not so much.  3 days out and I know it's early but I'm feeling sad and just wondering if this was the right thing.  DH caught a glimpse of it and it made me cry.  He says it looks amazing and he is in awe, but I know it's a stitched up weird looking blob.  And I'm just so sore and tired.  When will this fog lift?  Remind me why I didn't do an implant!

annajo, these are early days for you. You have been given lots of drugs, including anesthesia. They can definitely influence how you feel. Your hubs thinks you look great and your flap is doing great! You had DIEP because you wanted a soft, warm boob that you would never have to replace or worry about leaks, capsular contracture, etc. Your new boob will eventually feel part of you and will be more comfortable than an implant. You have a new boob. It is different than your old boob but it is still a boob or noob or whatever you choose to call it. Your pIastic surgeon will most likely value your input to make it look the way you think it should. I hope you will be happy with your decision and grateful, in time. You are going through the rough days now. It will get better! Patience is so valuable during this process. Hugs!

Jeannie - the first day was exhausting, but I work at home so was able to take breaks when I needed to.  Today I was having a lot of abdominal pain and pain in my back that felt like someone was sticking a knife in it and twisting.  I guess I need to get used to sitting in an office chair again.   I took a pain pill and had a 30 minute nap at lunch time.  I managed to work 10 hours today!

I just don't understand why the abdominal pain is so bad at 8 weeks out.   I do have some fat necrosis and that seems to be where the pain is.  Is it normal for that to be painful?

I have a question for you ladies. Has anyone had a T-Marker test?

Beebop, I didn't have that pain experience so I can't comment intelligently. What does your PS say?

Dyvgrl, my MO only does them after diagnosed stage IV, which is not me. 

Thanks Maggie, it's definitely a journey full  of varying emotions and it helps to be able to vent it all out without judgement to a group that can understand...