Rockin' flatness like a bada$s

Hey now!I am willing to share him but no stealing!  I have put 25 years into training him and if he couldn't trade me in for two twenty's when I turned forty, I guess I will stick with him. LOL... My dad simply told him he wasn't wired for 220 and he thought about it and agreed. This journey has been hard on him and we have come to realize even our own ignorance's about everything with the more knowledge we attain.  There is a lot of shock and fear that goes along with this and I know we are just beginning. I remember the journey with my back fusion and it wasn't easy, but he was insistent that he would take care of me and that our parents could step back and wait to help until he had to go back to work. He and our son took shifts staying up at night in case I needed help. Now that is family love and that is what I know will happen again. He has already told the folks the same thing this time. He is watching videos and reading articles on FORCE just trying to figure it all out.

Badger~ I agree with Grammab, you and your mom are amazing and I place you in the category I hold dear for my mom (31 year uni)... I have come to love you ladies and am so thankful you are here. I love the sarcasm and wit, the laughter and the support. You all ROCK!

sailman, maybe you could do something like a caring bridge page? 

http://www.caringbridge.org/

You update as you are able and people get the info on your terms.

Morwenna the only advice I can give you is what I did. Make a list of pros/cons for each recon or flat and see where you stand. That really helped me a lot. Stay strong  and (((huggz)))

I am hoping not to have to fire him--I'd be in the same place as you, bobogirl, trying to figure out who to get instead. His practice has the reputation of being the best in the state, as far as the doctors and the quality of their work, and his partner is retiring, so I don't think that would be an option even if I thought it would be better. I can handle some degree of condescension (by handle I mean address it directly and give him the option of reining it in--at our initial consult visit he said something like, "What people don't understand about this surgery [mastectomies/reconstruction] is that it hurts." I said, "Really? So should I cancel my lunch plans for that day?" and he got it and reined it in), but there's a limit. He did spend a very long time answering my questions/giving me lots of information about different options, and not pushing reconstruction, which definitely makes a difference.

I had colon cancer 15 years ago, and my mother died a few months ago after a 13-year battle with colon cancer. We have spent a lot of time in doctor's offices and I am very comfortable letting them know my expectations (that they listen and address my questions/concerns--disagreeing is fine, but they have to listen) and have fired a couple. The first time I fired one it was after I realized that he could afford to be cavalier because his life was not going to change if I died/had serious complications/etc.; it was just going to be another day at the office for him. That helped me tremendously, and now I have an awesome team of doctors. 

I am not sure I want to pursue reconstruction, but if I decide to, I really would like to do it this year since my out-of-pocket maximum has quadrupled--once that's met, I'd really like to use my 100% benefits if I am going to do this. (That's probably a pretty bad reason overall to make a decision, but it's something I definitely have to think about.)

Paula

aunt_paula, that's exactly how I felt the couple of times I tried my foobs and bras and I only wore them around the house!!  I don't see me ever wearing them anywhere!!  Sorry about the LE, I hope it is manageable.

Aunt Paula, I remember long ago when I didn't feel dressed without my girdle, hose and high heels. I would feel like I was in costume to wear those now.

Just noticed your "new to me" thread, and if we could change our avatars for one thread, on this one, I'd call myself Cute&Concave.

Have written on several other threads about my explantation process, and the JOY of Deeeeeeep Breathing now with the small silicone poached eggs ( one ruptured & I didn't even know it) being sent Not to Heaven ( where the other parts are waiting for me, if I decide to ever go There) and hope our experiences, and our words, are helping other women to be WHOLE and Wappy, oops, Happy however they are.

C&C - a subset of the Flat&Fabulous Group

Ha ha ha bluetail! I was thinking the same thing the other day ! I am waiting for a date to have my implants removed with no recon. It's so funny that as we sit emotionally overwrought in the PS office, other women are tweaking their nose or lifting their eyelids. I am 56 and had the same thought process as you about -heck - I'd rather have a face lift than DIEP or more implants!

 My implants are falling and failing and ruining my chest muscles. they must come out to either be replaced or not. I'm choosing to get rid of them and saying "no" to any more recon. Very debilitating. I'm glad that they have to come out - a blessing in disguise but I'm having a hard time getting my head around being "flat." It helps so much to be part of this discussion. I know my body will be happier in the end! Although recon can be a great option for some women, some of us have bodies that just don't want reconstructed breasts.

Best,

Good to see some recent activity on this thread!

Cute and Concave!  Perfect!  And i know exactly what you mean by the 'potholes' where they used to be and that term may slip into everyday speech soon...

There is only one time and place where i feel a bit awkward about my otherwise bada$$ flatness (concaveness?) and that's the gym, after a shower when i'm getting dressed i find that i'm kind of cowering in the corner, facing in, and waiting until no one's around before i put on a top.  How do the rest of you handle situations like that?  

bluetail - exercise with free weights at home   I think, if I were in public with my C&C chest, I'd be kind of "on guard" for questions, and have to talk about bc, which I don't like to do.  UNLESS, I'm with a group of bc women...think it may be more of that...IMHO.

I have to say that the prospect of stripping off my suit and showering nude has kept me from going back to the pool. It's one communal shower in the middle of the room. There are a few dressing rooms off to the side, but not nearly enough for the number of people. I'm only half flat, so that may be even more noticeable.

Sunflower, You sound so creative!! I would never have thought about underwire mobiles! Too funny. Sounds like a business in the making...I'll ship you all my old underwires! 

If you wear the microbeads in your suit, be sure to have them in a pocket because they float. I made a foob for my swimsuit out of nylon net and used it for a year. This year I bought a swim top from Lands End and I'm very pleased with it. Their mastectomy tops are cut higher in the neck and underarm and come with pockets. My authorization letter says I can have a silicone form every 2 years or a swim form every 6 mos. I'm going to have to ask what a swim form looks like. If you get a Lands End catalog, the little M in a circle means that top has a mastectomy version. It seemed like the majority do.

I ordered forms made out of the micro beads from mastectomysolutions.com, but ordered a larger size than needed. I made a smaller one and used the beads in it. I would get another, but I have no idea what size to order. The website has instructions for making your own and other ideas for clothing. Mary is a member here.

I think I would just go flat if I could. Or a very very small form sewn in the suit maybe.