I can't breathe!!

I felt the same way when I was diagnosed.   I am so sorry you have to join us....  THe beginning is the hardest part.  You don't know what is going on, what to expect and your mind goes to some very scary places.   It will get a little easier when you have a treatment plan and have more answers. Hang in there....I am three years out and all is good.  My son was 4 when I was dx.  He's seven now.  Life is good.  Hugs!

Kaluha

I am 33 yrs old. I don't have a kid but I wanted. I was dx on Nov 27th last year (the day before the Thanksgiving weekend). After the diagnosed over the phone, and my primary doctor was already on her vacation leave. The doctor who I even never met before call me over the phone and told me "sorry, you got BC and I will refer you to Oncologist today."  She was nice enough that called me again later the day before going to 4 days of holiday weekend. It was so hard for me to wait without any other information other than I got BC. What kind of BC is it? How big is it? How serious is it? It must be wrong! thinking about all things during the holiday wasn't fun at all. Plus I had to keep my job! It was scary! 

Anyhow, after the holiday weekend, Patient Navigator from local Cancer center called me and told me my Medical Oncologist schedule. It took me about a whole week to get the spot. I was so nervous and anxious all the time. I cried a lot and got angry and tears again. It's ok! Call anyone you can trust and tell your feeling. Go get massage, or go for walk! Get something good treat! Whatever works to calm yourself, try everything. You can send me private email if you need to talk to me. Right now, I just started my Chemotherapy yesterday. I wasn't bad at all after all of anxiousness and emotional up and down. I still live here and I will live. 

Check with your Cancer center and ask for Nurses you can talk about your feeling. My case, there is a patient navigator and she helps cancer patients by share some information and resources you can get and classes or seminars they may offer for cancer patients. They also have information about cancer survivor support organizations and peoples. There are many volunteers and professionals works for people need help who just diagnosed. I also went to website Livestrong.org  and also Imerman Angel http://imermanangels.org/get-cancer-support.php where they will find you volunteer one-on-one peer support. I am still working on it with Imerman angels to find my peer. It seems take about 1-2weeks after the main office call you within 1-2 business days after you fill out the form through the online. There are many support for you. This breastcancer.org is one of wonderful resources and you can get many support here too. 

You are not alone! 

I met several breast cancer survivor in my region and they have children like you. 

Best wishes! Big hugs and kisses from me!!! 

I remember that feeling.  My hubby and the kids (then 6 and 4) were at the pond fishing when my doctor called on September 10, 2009. My tumor was huge, too.  The surgeon measured it at 7 cm (lime).  I had neoadjuvant chemo to shrink the tumor and any nodal invasion before surgery.  At surgery (bilateral mast and lymph nodes out), my tumor had shrunk to 3.4 cm and I had 4 positive nodes.  I then had 31 rads and implant reconstruction.  Four years later I am alive and well and my hair is long again.  I have no sign of any metastases and could very well live to be old .

Hugs

We all remember this moment.  my kids were 7 and 12--- I simply could NOT believe this was happening- I was so upset.  I couldn't even talk to my kids during the first week-I kept looking at them, thinking I would not be around for the major life events they were going to experience.

Then we started to develop a plan-lumpectomy, oncotype, results, decisions about chemo, radiation, working--- and things started to fall together.  And I took the power back.  3 cm is not huge--- not tiny, but not huge-fairly common.

I am over 5 years out, consider myself cured, and fully expect to live long enough to make my kids crazy..... 

hang in there... it really does get better.... and a day will come when you do NOT think of bc every day, I promise.  But for now, it is your job to complete all of the steps that you and your doc decide upon.    One foot in front of the other for now...

hugs

I bet every lady on this board can remember THE call. For me it was not unexpected nor a shock because my radiologist pretty much told me I had BC after my digital mammogram so I was semi-prepared. I don't know how else the doctor would tell you unless he called you in his office and told  you and how would that be any better. After all you know when he calls you in his office after all of the tests its usually not a good thing. This is w/o a doubt the worst part of the process...waiting. I was fortunate that the Women's Health Center moved very quickly after I was DX in scheduling. I found my own BS from recommendations from friends. He is one of the best in town and a breast surgeon which is what you always want - not just a surgeon. My OB-GYN suggested another doctor too but he was not a breast surgeon. My BS doesn't have the best bedside manner but as I said he is one of the best. His staff is fantastic so they kind of make up for his lack of patient understanding. I totally agree once the process gets rolling you will feel better. BTW I don't have young children anymore; my youngest was 20 at the time.  Diane

I loved that my doctor told me over the phone. I got to have a good hard cry in private  and when I saw him the next day,I was pulled together enough to listen and make informed decisions.  The Internet is a scary place when you have a scary diagnosis. Honestly, as hard as it is, try to stay away until you see your doctor. I wish I did. I also have a Young child. She just makes me more determined than ever to fight this bitch with everything I have. Good luck. My wish  for you is negative nodes

Karody,  my surgeon and oncologist suggested chemo before surgery too. I am glad to hear that you responded to the chemo and the tumor has shrunk by the time of surgery. i am going to start chemo next week. can you please share some of your experience during chemo? was yours 4 or 5 months? Also, did you have a PETSCAN done?  Mine was triple negative and wondering if they were able to use Herceptin for you it were HER2 positive.  Thankk you and take care. i like your positive attitude by the way!

Kaluha - How are you doing? The first week to week and a half after the initial appointment seem to be a whirlwind for most people. That is probably a good thing because once tests start and you get a treatment plan in place, it can be dealt with in manageable chunks. ((hugs)) 

Lettinggo - I had neoadjuvant chemo - my tumor was 9 cm and they knew from the get go that I had lymph node involvement. Once they know that you are going to need chemo, then doing it prior to surgery makes sense. My tumor shrunk to half it's size which I am sure allowed an easier time in getting clear margins although I still had a MX. I had a PET done from skull to knees - they will likely do this before starting chemo to make sure that you don't have mets (it's never 100% conclusive as you can have C -cells that are not picked up by the scan - but chemo is geared toward treating those anyway). One benefit to doing chemo first is that they know if it's 'working'. I had 6 rounds of TAC on a once every 3 week schedule. They had to cut my final dose in half as I had a very rough time with the chemo & ended up in the hospital. That does NOT mean that you will. Everybody is different. I didn't know about this board prior to chemo & wish I had because the advice would have been invaluable. One thing that I would advise before you start chemo is to ask your docs about how they are going to deal w/ your lymph nodes - I had an AND, and still had 2 nodes positive - I will never know my stage for sure since I don't know how many nodes were positive to begin with. The other thing is to see if they can do a SNB before you start chemo. That way maybe you could avoid the AND.

Hi lettinggo - I felt a large lump & was sent for a consult w/ mammogram. After they did the mammogram they did an ultrasound & the ultrasound tech could see signs of cancer in the lymph node & biopsied a few of them. They knew I had cancer that day (before the biopsy results came back). I did have a PET and there was uptake in the axillia region (the area under the armpit). My biopsy results did come back positive for all the node tested (which was a sample of those appearing cancerous). For this reason, I had an AND (axillary node dissection) rather than a SNB (a sentinel node biopsy). The axillary node dissection defines an area in the axillary region and removes all of the nodes from it. The number of nodes varies from person to person. If possible, you want to avoid an AND because it increases the risk of Lymphedemea (LE). In a SNB they inject dye to see which of the nodal 'pathways' your cancer would have taken and they remove that pathway - the first node is called the sentinel node & if that one isn't positive, then it's unlikely that any of the others are (they will test all the nodes in that 'pathway' to make sure). 

Thanks for the hope when needed the most.