New diagnosis, now just waiting
anxious doesn't begin to explain how I feel. Met with the surgeon yesterday and due to size of tumors he is sending me to a medical oncologist to pursue chemo prior to surgery. Actually have 2 masses, the smaller of the two has metastesized (sp) into a node, the larger is infliltrative....needless to say all I can think of is getting my final affairs in order and I'm not that person, I'm strong and determined but at the moment feel as tho I've been knocked in the dirt. 10 days before I see the Dr. then possibly a week before scans are done, then port inserted, then chemo begins.....so all in all I'm guessing a month before we start working on this, I'm scared
Comments
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Showheifer - You're in the worst part of this right now. Being newly diagnosed sends your head spinning. We begin to absorb the information and come to terms with the good and bad as things move along. The night after I was diagnosed I did my own research without the advantage of an oncologist to speak with. I sat alone all night in total darkness with the assumption my days are numbered. The fears still creeps in but hope does grow. I still need more surgery and I'm almost done chemo. Life is looking brighter and I hope that it will for you too as soon as possible.
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showheifer, the only affairs you need to get in order are the ones you need today and tomorrow. Don't think too far ahead. Find someone reliable, a good note taker and question asker to take with you to your appointments. This is the absolute worst phase - the waiting phase....each new piece of information will help you get the treatment plan in place. Once you have a plan you will have some more control and control helps most people feel a little better.
In the mean time, cry all you want, I swear it helps. So does a little Xanax!
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Sorry you have joined the club no one wants to be a member of, but it's not as dire as you're seeing it now. Many, many, many, most of us have had bc which has moved into a lymph node, that's what you're describing. We don't use the word "metastatic" for that. It means the bc has infiltrated the lymph nodes/system, that's what the lymph nodes are there for, to protect the rest of your system. It is easy to have a lymph node removed when you have the bc tumor removed.
Also the "good news" - is by having the chemotherapy before surgery, you will get to find out how effective it is. AND, if the chemotherapy is not as effective as your doc would like it to be, you can ALWAYS try a different one before surgery.
No, I'm not being pollyannaish about this, it SUCKS. But you're going to be okay. REALLY.
You, as others have posted, are in the WORST part of this. Waiting for treatment to begin. Seriously, I expect everyone who posts about their own diagnosis of bc will say, I GOT KICKED IN THE GUT, knocked off my feet, it's hideous, and our minds start to do very awful things no matter how "strong" we are. Seriously, try to be as gentle with yourself as you can be at this time. It's terrifying, just terrifying. But honestly, for most of us, it gets LESS terrifying as you begin treatment, and see yourself begin able to do it.
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Hugs Showheifer,
I received the call on Tuesday, got all my results today with a calendar, binder, and a ton of info and copies of everything. Tomorrow I do in-take at MD Anderson. It is just surreal as it is still hard to think of myself in this position. I was having a tough time and asked for something from my Dr. Got some xanax and it has helped SO much.
Be gentle and we will all get through this. -
If the positive nodes are in the breast and axillary area, they are usually not considered metastatic but Stage III. Metastatic/Stage IV is when the BC has spread to areas (lungs/liver/bones/brain/etc.) away from the breast
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show heifer,
Sorry you have to be here. You will learn more than you want to in the next 6 months. Lots of terms, most of them frightening.
It gets easier, especially once chemo starts, because you are doing what needs to be done.
Dealing with this takes all your effort, but we get through the treatments, and then start on medication. I just got done with active treatments and started Arimidex. If possible, let your Drs. know that you would be willing to move up your appts. if they have a cancellation. The waiting is by far the worst, you relax a little when things get going.
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Showheifer, we sound like we are in the exact same place right now. 3 weeks ago I was blow drying my hair fresh out of the shower and noticed some dimpling on the underside of my left breast. A mammogram, 2 ultrasounds, biopsy and complete metastatic workup later I have been dx with invasive lobular carcinoma with lymph node involvement. The surgeon's office called with the dx followed by a phone call with an appt to see the oncologist next Wednesday, followed by an appt with the radiation doctor the following week. Nobody has talked to me about surgery yet, I'm kind of in the dark about what is going to happen until next Wednesday, but they mentioned putting in a port for my chemo so I guess that will come first. It sure is scary, I'm trying to take it 1 hour, 1 day at a time. I wish you the best, we're gonna get through this...Genny
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