Rockin' flatness like a bada$s

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  • jsjherman
    jsjherman Member Posts: 170
    edited February 2014

    Sunny Girl~ I am glad you are doing so well!

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  • bobogirl
    bobogirl Member Posts: 2,777
    edited February 2014

    Js, congratulations for making your list.  We are all with you.  So glad you have an excellent DH.  Give him a kiss from us.  In the bag for your MRI results.

    Welcome Yogamama!  Waiting is the hardest part.  I do yoga too, and can't wait to get back to it when I'm given the okay.  We will have to talk about rockin' the yoga flatness.  You are an instructor, so I will look to you for what you are wearing to feel comfortable, yet badas$.

    Sunnygirl:  your sunny silly stupid gleeful grin made me smile all day.  You ROCK!  

    XXXXXX

    P.S.  My mother is on her way here  (extreme frowning emoticon) and I have sx (hopefully I'll get smooth flat scars and no side lumps) next week, so I may not be on our thread as much.  Sending you all hugs.

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  • sailman
    sailman Member Posts: 12
    edited February 2014

    This is jsjherman's husband just wanted to thank everyone your help and support has meant so much to js

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  • aunt_paula
    aunt_paula Member Posts: 271
    edited February 2014

    Hi everyone--

    I had a BMX January 29, and am so glad to have found this forum and this thread. I'm 44, and my surgeon was pretty taken aback by my plans not to do reconstruction. He didn't want to push me into doing something I didn't want, but wanted me to know what all my options were in case I changed my mind down the line, and after meeting with PS for the first time I decided to do TEs and implants. Since surgery, though, I've found that I actually kind of love being flat (my chest and my rear end are the only flat things on my body! everything else is curvy!), and am reconsidering just rocking the flatness. If I do decide to do the TEs/etc., May would be the earliest I would start, so I hope it's ok for me to hang out here in the meantime while I bask in my (soon-to-be) flatness--I have some lumps, but they're fine with me.

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  • jsjherman
    jsjherman Member Posts: 170
    edited February 2014

    Welcome aunt paula! I am getting ready for the pbm and hyst and came here looking for insight. I have decided to embrace  flat and not have the recon. I am a newbie here, but I already feel like part of the family and I have a feeling you will feel the same after a few days. :)

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  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited February 2014

    aunt paula, by all means hang out all you want. Welcome. Maybe before May you can read some of the threads about TE's and implants. I'm half flat and I think that DH would be OK with me going completely flat. I keep pointing out how nice it would be to never wear a bra again. Especially since I have muscle pain in my back which is right under the bra band.

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  • pip57
    pip57 Member Posts: 12,401
    edited February 2014

    Js's dh is so sweet.  

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  • grammaB
    grammaB Member Posts: 1,172
    edited February 2014

    js, that DH of yours is a keeper, that's for sure!!

    Hi aunt_paula, sure hang out here all you want.  Who knows, we might just turn you to embrace the flatness!! ;)) Just kidding, we all support you whatever decision you make.  As Wren said, be sure to do some reading in the threads about TE's and implants.   There is a lot of information there.

    Hugs!

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    ....going in, i didnt know what could be done, hence, the segmental lumpectomy. but i knew right then, that if ther was ever another problem, i am definately going flat.

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  • bobogirl
    bobogirl Member Posts: 2,777
    edited February 2014

    Welcome auntpaula!  Flatness is an option, that's for sure.  We have another sister coming -- from the UK -- who has had a very challenging time, having been run through the "meat market" of the PS office.  Many of us have been there.

    Hello sailman, JS's husband!  It is our pleasure to have js with us.  She is obviously fabulous.  I am so glad you two have one another.  XXX

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  • aunt_paula
    aunt_paula Member Posts: 271
    edited February 2014

    Thank you so much for the welcome! :) 

    I am very much enjoying the (relative, kind of lumpy at the moment) flatness, and I don't know if I can adequately express how much I love the idea of just wearing a light camisole or something. Bras have never fit quite right, and it is awesome to do without. (I am still wearing compression, but it feels good, and I probably won't have to wear it much longer.) I have my second appointment with the PS next Friday, and have some questions ready for him, but my main reason for going back is that I'm not sure I liked him much, and since I've had the mastectomies now, I want to revisit that. There was so much going on the first time I saw him that I need a second look; I don't need us to be friends, but he struck me as a little condescending, and that won't do. Lots of other fish in the sea and all that!

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  • bobogirl
    bobogirl Member Posts: 2,777
    edited February 2014

    AuntP:  I hear you!  There are not a lot of fish in my sea.  Thinking right now about whether or not I want a switch.  I do not trust my PS.  He is condescending.  And he has lied.  But my ins makes it hard to switch outside of network -- if I do it will delay things for months.  And who would I switch to -- one of his partners?  They are probably best friends.

    And so, if you do switch, please relate the entire story of your PS's "firing,"  with juicy details, as I will want to live vicariously through you :)

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  • Sunny_Girl
    Sunny_Girl Member Posts: 111
    edited February 2014

    Ola Ladies (& Gentlemen) - I want to greet everyone of us with - ola rockin' bada$s ladies but then crack myself up because I'm missing they key word Flatness and it seems somehow wrong!   I apologize for my limited vocabulary and sense of humor.

    I look forward everyday to see if someone has commented or posted here and am disappointed when nothings happened - might be good, means were up and taking on the day.  

    I am totally with you in regards to changing doctors if you are not happy.  It's taken me quite a few years to get here, but these providers aren't doing their work for free and we have all had too much stress to get to the points of where we are, to have to deal with ANYONE we are paying to take care of us.  I don't mind if providers are a tad rough around the edges or if they don't have the best bed side manor - if I think they are a GREAT doctor.  But condescending - yeah, that would chap my hide and I would want outta there.

    The other thing is, I would be very interested in any basic beginning yoga tapes (cd's, disc's, IPhone/iPad - talk about condescending - I can see my daughter just looking at me because I am not in the know, to call these things what they are!!!). Informational vehicles?     The Arimidex and my VERY sedentary job have me stiff and not so bendable right now.  Muy No Bueno!!!

    Thanks much - 

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  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited February 2014

    I hope you don't mind me joining in here, I only have Uni status, but I have friends posting here!

    Just a quick answer to Sunny Girl...If you are interested in a really easy exercise routine, I can recommend the "Five Tibetan Rites" I started doing these exercises quite soon after my Mx and have continued to do them fairly regularly ever since. There is the book by Peter Kelder called Ancient Secret of the Fountain of Youth, it doesn't matter if you believe the story behind this exercise system or not, it is 5 yoga poses that you start off doing 3 reps of and build up slowly to 21 reps. There are many demos on the internet, Dr Oz is a good one to show you how to do the poses properly. In the book, which I would urge anyone interested in this to buy, it has alternative poses for those who have any injuries or problems that preclude them from doing any of the 5 poses.

    It is a really good entree into exercise after surgery and I have seen lots of benefits from doing this routine. Take care M x

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  • jsjherman
    jsjherman Member Posts: 170
    edited February 2014

    Thanks Ariom, even though the post was for Sunny girl... that is an answer I have been looking for as well... 

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  • grammaB
    grammaB Member Posts: 1,172
    edited March 2014

    I feel so badly for you ladies that have to deal with such condescending drs!!  It is so unfair in certain cases where there are no other choices.  bobo, I know you need to do this sx as soon as possible so you have no choice.  But is there another ps not related to this group that you could go to should something else come up?? That guy is an a$$!!

    aunt_paula, I hope if you can't work with the current ps, you can find another, better one.  And please do share how it goes if you do fire him. ;)

    Hugs

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  • Lojo
    Lojo Member Posts: 303
    edited March 2014

    I will be joining you lovely ladies, at least temporarily, as I'm discovering that I can't stand to wear the foobs during radiation treatment. So, rocking the flatness for now!

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  • belleb
    belleb Member Posts: 170
    edited March 2014

    I am so happy to see this thread. I'm in the depths of chemo right now with a decision to make coming up when I'm done (likely June)...radiation on cancer breast (had lumpectomy last month) or mastectomy. If I go the mastectomy route, I truly think I will go bilateral and forgo reconstruction. It's encouraging to come here and see people happy with that decision. I will be following this discussion!

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  • Sunny_Girl
    Sunny_Girl Member Posts: 111
    edited March 2014

    Thank you Ariom for a starting place with yoga! I just want to be able to bend and squat and move with ease. I have very minimal side effects with Arimidex and I have no right to complain, but I feel like I am lumbering or wobbling when I get out of bed in the morning or when I go from a sitting to standing position and then start to walk.

    I don't feel so graceful anymore, so I look forward to this type of exercise to get me back on track.

    Belleb - just get through the chemo right now, hopefully with minimal side effects and you'll know the answer or decision when the time comes.  Whatever decision you make, it will be perfect for you.

    Patty

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  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited March 2014

    You're welcome Sunny Girl and jsjherman, it is a great routine that a friend of mine discovered after a really serious accident. He really insisted that I get into it after my surgery, and harassed me till he knew I was doing it regularly:)

    Just make sure you start slow, don't push it. Even 3 reps are better than nothing. I have rheumatoid arthritis, so I have to be careful with what I do, and I've had no problems with this exercise routine. 

    I wish you all the very best! M x 

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  • bobogirl
    bobogirl Member Posts: 2,777
    edited March 2014

    OMG, the Rites!  Watch out, sisters, our Ariom will be after you about this!  She has only temporarily suspended herself from coming after me because I had a BMX and am on lift restrictions!  She probably has a calendar on which she is ripping off the days until she can come after me again :)

    Snort laughing that she's pushing the rites on a new thread.  We're all going to be doing the Rites like zombies!

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  • sailman
    sailman Member Posts: 12
    edited March 2014

    Good morning, I guess my frustrations through all of this with Js is the ignorance of those around us who care, but do not understand our decisions. I say our decisions, because her decisions affect me to. They want to know how she is and what is going on, but they do not understand why she would have the pbm since she doesn't have cancer yet and why she would not have the recon. I am tired of having to defend our decisions and tired of the condescending looks that go with it. And yet, I know they are only asking because they care about her. I just needed to vent. Thanks for listening.

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  • gtgirl
    gtgirl Member Posts: 129
    edited March 2014

    sailman, I would tell them to mind there own business and also tell them to stop asking. 

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  • sailman
    sailman Member Posts: 12
    edited March 2014

    I know they are asking only because they care and don't want to be rude to a friend. So, I just answer their questions the best I can.

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  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited March 2014

    Sailman, People are really good at coming up with stupid remarks. I would think that reducing her chances of breast cancer and ovarian cancer by 70% would make sense to everyone. People who wonder about recon should look at the steps involved. Maybe we can come up with a list of how it happens along with the advantages and disadvantages. It sounds really easy to the outsider. Then, when you learn what they really do, it's pretty barbaric in my opinion. I think I would work on some sort of noncommittal thing to say when they ask. You are lucky to have each other. I felt blessed to have an understanding and supportive husband as well.

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  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited March 2014

    Bobo.....rrrrrrrip!!!! that's the sound of another page off the calender!LOL

    I simply answered a question.......you know how I love the Rites!!!!

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  • badger
    badger Member Posts: 34,614
    edited March 2014

    hi all, been flat since BMX in Feb 2010.  Once I researched options, recon was never on the table. DH fully on board with my decision.  I was able to have snb & mx at local hospital with a general surgeon I knew and trusted.  Told him nice flat front and no dog ears.  He did well on the second part but to help me out quote unquote, he left a half-inch of tissue along the mammary ridges.  That'd be the inside swell of the breasts, so I'm not totally flat.  Onc says leftover tissue isn't a danger to me and I don't want more surgery so this is good enough.  My scars are 9" long and have faded over the years to pinkish-red.  I have feeling on my chest and skin but really miss my nips during sex.  Only change to wardrobe is not wearing clothes with bust darts.  Flat is one thing, empty is another.  I do wear darker colors now but make no attempt to hide my flat chest.

    My 80 YO mom is a 30-year survivor, having had a radical mx in the 70's on the R (with a silicone implant that leaked and was later swapped out for saline), and a simple mx in the 80's on the L (with removal of saline implant).  She used prosthetics until maybe age 70 then put them away and went flat.  When I was dx she told me right away to forget recon and just go flat.  She offered me her very nice, expensive, heavy prosthetics and I said no thanks.  I love not wearing a bra and you know it IS nice to have clothes against skin.  Hadn't thought of that but now that I'm aware, it's pleasant.

    These are hard choices but that's my experience.  I'm not a fashionista so not sure I'm rockin' it or how much of a bad*ss I am anymore but here in support of flatness.  Good luck & good health!  ♥

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  • bobogirl
    bobogirl Member Posts: 2,777
    edited March 2014

    Are you kidding me, badger?  You are so obviously a badas$.  And you have walked nearly five thousand miles?  How is that not badas$?

    Sailman, agree with Wren.  You must think of some statement to say.  'None of your business" works in NY and Philly.  But perhaps not other places.  If you are too noncommittal, they might press you further.  A look directly in the eye while you say 'Let's table this discussion for now' may do the trick.

    JS is so lucky to have you.  She had better watch out!  Perhaps we will all steal you from her! :)

    Sending JS hugs.  {{{{{JS}}}}}

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  • grammaB
    grammaB Member Posts: 1,172
    edited March 2014

    badger, not only are you bada$s, but so is your Mom!! What good advice she gave you!  Yeah, I did the research before my sx and no way was recon going to be on the table for me either!  And no way was I going uni and have to worry about the other boob the rest of my life!!  

    Good point about clothes with darts!  I'm finding that princess seams aren't working very well either!

    Sailman, I'll third what Wren said and second what bobo said too!  I like the "Doing this cuts the cancer risk by 70% and there are just too many more surgeries involved with doing recon.  We've thought long and hard about this and are happy with our decision."  Personally, I wanted just the one surgery and to then be done with it.  Every surgery carries risks, and I didn't want to take any more than I had for the BMX.

    Js is very lucky to have you!!  Not many men would join in here for support and to ask questions.  You are welcome to vent anytime you might need to also!

    Hugs for Everyone!

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  • sailman
    sailman Member Posts: 12
    edited March 2014

    I think it is a matter of educating them.  Just some day's it gets overwhelming.  I feel the more education everyone gets the better we all will be.  I will just have to get use to educating people that do care. 

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