STFU (Shut the F*** UP)

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  • april485
    april485 Member Posts: 3,257
    edited February 2014

    Morning Hoolies!

    WTG Shells! Sounds like you are rockin that job!

    Mary, hoping that your coming off that morphine is not too hard. I don't like the way it makes me feel. I had it when I was in the hospital and I felt...funny? Kind of like I was hallucinating.  But, after a couple of days of getting it, I remember thinking I liked it much more than I thought cause I began to feel even "funnier" without it and it was only like 3 days after my surgery when they switched me to an oral pain killer and I guess I was in a little bit of withdrawal...weird and fast!

    Cami, that picture is adorable!!

    Ducky, it was not too windy here in CT but I know that all of the middle states got whalloped with big winds. Did Delaware confirm a tornado? I thought I heard that?

    We have decided to sell our home which makes me very sad. My husband was laid off in 2009 and never found a full time job again and is working part time so we just can't afford to keep it anymore. He did all of the right things. He worked for his former employer for 23 years. He has a Bachelor's degree. His only crime is being a male over 55. In the state we live in, very few jobs available and he is in the population hardest hit. Men heading towards retirement but not yet ready to retire. Ugh! 

     I work with the unemployed as an Employment Specialist and I cant even help most of my clients in this age group! Most of them end up taking part time jobs or very low paying full time jobs if they get really lucky. This sucks but I don't make enough to sustain this house. We bought it brand new 10 months before my husband's position was eliminated. We had no idea and never saw it coming...

     We have exhausted all of our savings and my hubby's 401K thinking any minute he would find work, and every spare dime has gone into trying to keep this house. Can't do it anymore. I cried so hard when we finished making the decision last night but in the light of day, it makes so much sense to me. It is too big and too expensive to keep it and it really makes no sense for the two of us to stay here when there are at least 3 rooms we never even go in!

    OK, heading off to do Saturday stuff. Run to the pharmacy to pick up the prescription of the evil drug (Aromasin) and then off to get a much needed haircut if they can squeeze me in. Have to wait until they open to call which is at 9am EST so maybe that will not happen

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited February 2014

    April.............Delaware got a warning, but it never materialized..........just some bad winds here, but the "flooding" rains never happened........now they are talking about the Polar Vortex returning......I know I read Chicago is going into the deep freeze again, and Pa. always gets there weather a few days later........hurry Spring.......

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 2,280
    edited February 2014

    Aw April, Im so sorry about your house.Thank god we paid ours off years ago, and never wanted to buy another one. Weve been here for 28 years and aren't planning on going anywhere.

  • gardengumby
    gardengumby Member Posts: 7,305
    edited February 2014

    April, so sorry to hear of your troubles.  In the end you'll probably be happy to make the change to something smaller but it always feels better when the choice is voluntary and you don't feel forced into it.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited February 2014

    April.....I am so sorry.....we must have been posting at the same time......

    I have always lived in big homes.......except my first.......did ok for 15 years but then we truly outgrew it......so we bough a much bigger home in the suburbs.....not out of our means, but much bigger means much higher bills......5 Br's.......2 12 baths, kitchen, breakfast room, massive dining-room and living-room, and a gorgeous finished basement......10 ft. ceilings, and all stone......the neighborhood changed, my husband died, my kids had begun to get married before he died.......had it not been for 2 kids in each room, I would have had empties too, but it just meant the remaining kids had the rooms to themselves.......until they got married, and just 1 daughter was home, and that is who stayed with me after her father died.........eventually she got marred, and I was alone...........horrible,........way too big for me, and had to move at 56...........awful.......

    Moved to the town most of my kids lived in but was never happy there.....after being there for 9 years my son suggested moving in behind his mansion, and he would redo the entire house he had just bought behind his.............that lasted for 5 years till his wife decided to run around on him, and wanted me out of the house behind them cause I could see "it all".....

    Left there cause he said "Mom I am selling the house your in".........great at 75, moving again.......another son found a house for me........gutted the interior down to the rafters, all new utilities, floors and on 1 floor..............it is gorgeous..just been here for 3 years, but not entirely satisfied..........no basement, so less storage........my son said "Mom, and less shit".......he is right, but all my exercise Eq. cannot be used....no place for it.....the house is big, but all rooms are being taken by my other stuff................massive gourmet kitchen......2 bathrooms, and 1 is all stone with a jacuzzi and a walk in shower.......huge family room with a vaulted ceiiling, back patio, all brick, and a front overhang, with railings all around...............It backs up to a historical  farm, all wooded with a stream right outside my back door...................so why am I bitching.............I don't know...........I like 2 floors..........I like a basement...........I like the town I was in, even though if I fall sidewards I am right there............and it is lonely..............

    I hate this life of aches and pains.........I have a shore home with a pool, and more then anyone could want.........but I want my QOL back, which I lost 3 years ago right after I moved in here..............this is my "cancer" house........a reminder of no matter how good things are...............getting slapped is just around the corner............

    So April.....now that I have bitched.........my point is........I completely understand where your coming from.........and I would be crying too........I tried to think of all the positives and everyone loves this house and keeps saying...........Wow........anything happens to you  " I want this house"......so what the hell is wrong with me.......

    My son put his sweat and blood into it, anyone would die for this house..........but I guess no house is fun or beautiful if you have no one to share it with.........ok, I'm done....................hugs April.....................

    Hopefully you have not hung yourself after that whining, venting, ranting, post...........

    I should have this made poster size and hang it on my wall..........image

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited February 2014

    Oh April that feels crushing-- I know---I forgot the age requirements but could u do a reverse mortgage? It's not ideal, but I do know some who has done that and allowed her to stay put, but I realize it's not all our choice. I lost mine and was very happy there-it is a shock because the things that happen u just don't think like that when u lve somewhere. And personally I think a lot of the employers are taking advantage offering min. wage to people now, cuz they have the option to many people without jobs still. And giving part time jobs so they don't have to pay for ins. etc. It's a struggle. It's truly saddening and I pray this might be a happy resolution.(((APRIL)))

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited February 2014

    April............No one ever thinks when they make a decision to do something good, that something is around the corner just waiting to smack them in the face................

    In today's market it is how young, cute, and what degree you hold that makes the difference............forget......knowledge, experience, maturity, and all the good things that go alone with being over 50......and there are still many...........it is a time to blossom........kids gone, college almost paid for........a little nest egg......time for you...................time to reap the benefits of all your life's hard work.............then "boom" someone hits you with a 2x4 when your least expecting it.........and forget loyalty, that took a vacation long ago.........23 years....that is a long time......and your thanks is........."be glad you had a job"..........bastards.........

    My husband was in construction, so each week was a "ok is today the day I get let go", but we were use to that, and you moved on to anohter job.......but there were lean years where work was scarce, and building was halted........and it was unemployment, and food stamps with 6 kids to feed.........so I feel your pain..........

    Just hope some miracle happens for you........will say many prayers for you..........hugs.

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited February 2014

    April, Super hard decision, I know. Hope you can sell it easily and get a great price. I think you'll feel like a weight has been lifted when it's all over. Every time I hear they are considering raising the age for social security, I wonder how they think people will survive that long without jobs. Or perhaps not surviving is the point. Congress is probably the only place where men can keep jobs as long as they can show up and age is no barrier.

    We've now lived in our house for 30 years. I'd love to live somewhere different, but realistically we'll go out of here feet first. We live in an area of Seattle that's rapidly being 'gentrified'. After living through a townhouse complex being built 5 houses away last year, we just got the notice that they're going to do the same thing 3 houses away. I kept wanting to go over to the construction project and tell them it wasn't large enough to need the back up beep going all the time. Put whatever it was in park, for goodness sakes. I couldn't recall enough Spanish to make myself understood. I want to move to either a brand new place that doesn't need fixing yet or to a place that's historical and no one can tear down and build something new.

    OK, enough rant.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited February 2014

    Wren......my place is literally brand new.....I mean everything except the bricks they used to build the damn place.......electric all wiring, plumbing, heat, a/c, roof, flagstone, floors, walls, ceilings, drywall, windows, doors, bathrooms, laundry room, storage room, kitchen cabinets, counter tops....all the appliaances, window treatments............everything brand new...........only thing "old" is "the owner"...................only here 3 years........

    These storms.........ice jams, thaw....rain, more snow, thaw, more rain...............ice jam leaked behind the little bit of siding, and ran into the breakfast room............pipe froze to my washer, rinse water also cleaned my breakfast room floors......2 times.........so even new has its problems.............

    Just fed up with all the bullshit.......use to think :seniors" complained all the time, and for no reason...................I was young then..........paybacks are a bitch........this is all my payback......now I know what they went through.....................although some of them do complain a lot when they are better off then some of the young ones struggling to make ends me..............guess they were the ones I was referring too........right........LOL

  • blondiex46
    blondiex46 Member Posts: 5,712
    edited February 2014

    april I am so sorry you had to make that decision

    Shells so proud of you you should be proud of yourself!!

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited February 2014

    Oh April!  It's okay.... I already broke it the biggest bone in my body..... but then you know what they say, "If your're going to go..... go BIG!"  Ha!  Sorry about your hand... I'm still trying to clean sand out of my elbow!  They just sprayed it with something and put a bandage on it, but when I took it off, there was all this sand in there, so I've been putting cream on it, trying to ease it out!  

    Oh Charles!  He probably just must have moved on....  He'll be back though.... He HAS to!  He is our resident guy-pal!

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited February 2014

    Sorry April.... I read what you posted on the LAST page.  I'm like you.... I would not ever want to move, but maybe someday we will have to, for some reason or another.  We live in this little Victorian... with that little upstairs room that the girls grew up in.  The stairs were always fine, until now....  I just hope I can get well enough to be able to go up them again!!!!!!!!  I'm kind of afraid! 

    And then our little dug-out basement!  I have stuff down there I don't ever need, but maybe sometime I will get down there also, and my  DH and Daughter can take stuff upstairs, and get rid of it.  House was built in 1886... and we have lived here since 1964.... 

    Are you moving into some sort of Senior subsidized housing?   Would you qualify? 

    Okay, congratulations Shells!  Good job!  Everything going okay?  xoxoxoxo

  • Chevyboy
    Chevyboy Member Posts: 10,786
    edited February 2014
  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited February 2014

    Awwww April, sorry to hear it. But try to think maybe this could be a good thing?  Less house, less upkeep, less expenses. Possibly a condo with no yard work?

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited February 2014

    Condo is a great idea, but u have to follow rules--like putting up some type of nice window dressing so u can clean in the nude then. They don't want to see nude bodies---I found out the hard way.

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 2,280
    edited February 2014

    Ha-ha Cam. Gs was over today and wanted to know if my new boob had come in yet. He is just obsessed with it. Silly little boy....kind of like a new tooth?

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited February 2014

    That's so cute, is it on order??? I love what the ask?

  • 4sewwhat
    4sewwhat Member Posts: 2,093
    edited February 2014

    Checking in Hoolies!

    Hope everyone heads into the coming week on a positive note!  It's time for the Hoolies having troubles to catch a break already!!!

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited February 2014

    You too 4........you too......hugs

  • camillegal
    camillegal Member Posts: 16,882
    edited February 2014

    44444 I hope u'r doing better.

  • 4sewwhat
    4sewwhat Member Posts: 2,093
    edited February 2014

    I'm good, I guess.  Still pissed at Mother Nature and the world.  I was done!  I looked really nice!!  Now I am further behind than when I had my original MX.  I know in the grand sceme of things it is not the end of the world.  It could be so much worse.  It could be the cancer, not the recon that went bad.  I just feel like it finally got the upper hand and took something from me I was not willing to give.  Now when I hug someone or see myself or try to find something to wear......................anyhow.....I still can't believe I lost my boob because of an ice frikking storm and closed roads.

    So I told the nurse at my doctor's office to be prepared.  He is going to hear the words that scare my DH the most.  "I have been thinking and I have a plan!"  My PS told me the only choice I really had left was a DIEP.  Well with Whippetmom's help and some research I respectfully disagree!

    I am going armed to my appointment tomorrow ready to take ovre a small country and I dare him to turn me down!  He is very conservative and I respect that, but I need him to step outside his comfy little box this time.  I know he is just as devastated as I am so hopefully he is willing to go down this path with me and try something he has not done before.  

    I hope so, I hate doc shopping. You can find anyone to do what you want if they know the insurance is paying.  But who do you trust.

    Hope all the Hoolies are well.  I'm fine just having my patience tested AGAIN!!! And I am a VERY patient person.  Hopefully by this time tomorrow I will at least have a plan implemented!

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited February 2014

    4........I hope all goes well tomorrow........you have been through a lot, and deserve to vent........

    Will say a few extra's for you tonight........hang in there girlfriend.....your a lot stronger, and patient then your giving yourself credit for............its been a tough road.......hugs..and......prayers.

    image

  • 4sewwhat
    4sewwhat Member Posts: 2,093
    edited February 2014

    Thanks for the hug Ducky!  I know I am stronger than all this shit and can be a patient as I have to.  Right now I am a pissed off woman on a mission!  I will just feel better when I know my doc is on board with the game plan.  I'm not giving him a choice, mind you!  Just sayin' I will feel better once he agrees and I don't have to twist his arm and call his wife on him :0)

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited February 2014

    4..............this ones for you........you go girl...............

    image

  • 4sewwhat
    4sewwhat Member Posts: 2,093
    edited February 2014

    So I have settled my landlord issues and will not be going to court.  Thanks goodness!

    Now on to put together the plan to take over my PS's office and implement operation Build A Boob!  He doesn't stand a chance :0)

    Oh, and I guess my family might want dinner too.

    All in all productive day.  Just keep swimming................................That's what I am doing with my Nemo boobs!

  • marywh
    marywh Member Posts: 2,280
    edited February 2014

    Good luck 4. Has anybody heard from gma?

  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited February 2014

    Mary, I'm here just quiet.. Edit: My DH might be getting laid off.

  • 4sewwhat
    4sewwhat Member Posts: 2,093
    edited February 2014

    Thanks Mary,

    Hope you are doing well.  Yay for no morphine!!!  I hate pain meds.  Haven't taken any since my ankle surgery over a year ago.  I a grin and bear it kinda girl.  So far I have been able to bear it.

    I am getting kinda nervous about my appointment tomorrow.  I don't usually get nervous except in the begining with the Onc.  I just don't want the PS to shoot me down.  I at least want him to think about what I am proposing.

  • 4sewwhat
    4sewwhat Member Posts: 2,093
    edited February 2014

    Gma, sorry to hear.  I wish someone would stop this damn ride so we could all get off of it already :0(  I'll cross what I got that it doesn't happen.

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited February 2014

    4......your gonna do fine.....hugs........

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