Rockin' flatness like a bada$s
Comments
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16Christine, I love those LLBean sleeveless T's!! I have a bunch of colors. They are high enough in the neck that when you bend over there is no view down to the naval!!
I layer with them or with camis and am very comfortable. I don't miss boobs or bras at all!! -
Foobs...lol! I have bean, silicone and fluffy ones. NEVER wear them. I had a wonderful dress for my sons wedding that proofed at the top so those who didn't know didn't suspect and those that did know were left wondering.
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Between trying to squeeze in some exercise today and being all tingly about tonight's Downton Abbey season finale (two whole hours!!), i'm going to make time to share a secret about being, um, 'unreconstructed:' from the age of 12 until i didn't have them any more, my poor breasts were harnessed into a bra even though i was always only a slim A cup. After the BMX, i did get the 'prostheses' because insurance paid for them because i thought they would look better under clothes but they weighed a f0cking [love that word] ton, hurt my shoulders & neck, and i said to hell with these things! and just went nekked. And i find that it feels really good, almost sensual even though i don't have nips and there's some numbness along the incisions, it feels almost as though i do. And i'm wondering--do any of you notice that having your skin right next to your clothes feels slinky & downright good?
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I think many of us who haven't reconstructed have some sensation left. And the heaviness of boobs definitely on the plus side.
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Bluetail, yes, I do have that slinky soft feeling. And you are right it is almost sensual. I only wore my prostheses around the house a couple of times and man did I hate them!! Heavy and uncomfortable and the bra cut into my shoulders and hit right at my SNB scar. I have a pair of contacts that I haven't even tried yet....maybe this summer, I don't know. Maybe never! I like flat!
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it would be interesting to do study of lymphedema in women who go flat compared to those that have recon or fobs requiring them to wear confine bras.
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Hi folks, realize the thread is to celebrate flatness, reposting this on some threads, may be old news to some, but to good of info not to pass this on, particularly if scars a sore, the knockers may add comfort during sleep or other ways,
I did recon, but my twin went flat. Basically b/c her scars hurt so bad. Sassy
Bluebird144…NJJoined: Apr 2013Posts: 39313 hours agoBluebird144 wrote:
Knitted Knockers Charities is a non-profit that exists to provide free patterns for knitters and crocheters to be able to make knockers and help mastectomy patients get freeKnitted Knockers made by volunteers.
I love my Knitted Knockers! They are light and soft and warm. Unlike my silicone prosthetic which is heavy and cold when first worn, then it later causes me to sweat.
I wear my knitted knockers inside a regular bra or tucked in the pocket of a mastectomy bra. They are beautiful, and a godsend to those of us with an uneven mastectomy scar.
Knitted knockers website:
http://www.knittedknockers.info/
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.
Surgery 09/09/2009 Prophylactic Ovary Removal (Both)Chemotherapy 02/06/2013 Adriamycin, Cytoxan, TaxolSurgery 07/19/2013 Mastectomy (Both); Lymph Node Removal: Sentinel Lymph Node Dissection, Axillary Lymph Node Dissection (Left); Reconstruction: DIEP flap (Both)Surgery 08/20/2013 Reconstruction (Right)Surgery 08/28/2013 Mastectomy (Right)Radiation Therapy 10/14/2013 3-D conformal external beam radiationSurgery 01/24/2014 Reconstruction: Tissue expander placement (Right)
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Um, yes, sas-schatzi, this thread exists to celebrate women who live their lives flat.
It bears mentioning, though, that in my 'home' thread, I have made these knocks several times over for my girlfriends -- they knew I could knit, and they asked me to make something, so I looked up this pattern. I made them in every color possible.
And now, back to those who rock the flatness!
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I have a question for you ladies. I met with the bs yesterday and he was shocked that I might be considering having no recon done. He said that the incision would be larger and more extensive IF I didn't have the recon. He made it seem that it would slow down the healing process and be more painful because of the size of my breasts. I am a D cup. He did respond "surely not!" and asked why on earth I would even be considering this. I promptly explained that I wasn't sure if I wanted something fake hanging in front of me and that my mom had been a uni for 31years and she was just fine with it. He also proceeded to show me how the flap under my arms would always be there and would be ugly. My DH said that he understood that they would have to take more and that ps later wouldn't be an option. I understood there he was talking about the lymph nodes if the extra tests ordered come back positive for cancer. We are so confused (I say we because my DH and I are so much a part of each other) and do not mean these comments to rile or incite, just really searching for answers. PLEASE HELP US! He insisted I meet with the ps and have an appointment with her this afternoon.
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jsjherman,
I had my BMX on 10/22 . My scars are larger 6 inches and 11 inches and I was only a B cup . My BS said she would need then larger as she would take more skin to make me as flat as she could . Slow down the healing process ........that's crap I believe . My honest opinion is find a new BS. Any BS worth their salt realizes what the patient wants and works with that . My BS said she wished more women would lean towards no reconstruction as it is more simple and reduces complications of infections etc. You have got to be 100% comfortable with your radiologist, BS and oncologist BEFORE you undergo any surgery. I will never consider recon and do not wear foobs ! My 2 cents
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Hi jssherman,
I guess I was lucky with my BS - He showed me the options, which included flat, implants, flaps, and then suggested I make a PS appt. Which I did consider. Then a few days later I decided I wanted to be flat, at least for now. He said OK, if I was sure, and then talked to me about making the flattest scar line possible, with no dog-ears. My cancer side is less straight and I do have a tiny little pucker on the side and a little pucker near my sternum, but they're very small. My prophylactic side is very straight and flat and looks "good". When the radiation oncologist saw my chest at my first rads appt, she actually said "what beautiful scars". I think I must have looked strangely at her, and then she said she started practicing medicine when radical mastectomy was the norm. I was a B-cup previously, so smaller than you, but I can't imagine what universe your surgeon is in if he's suggesting reconstruction will have a shorter recovery time than no recon. I was feeling pretty good 2 weeks post surgery, had full (full!) shoulder mobility a week or so later. I could hold a plank / down dog in yoga by 3 wks. As far as the skin goes, my surgeon said a good surgeon can give you a flat, clean line, esp on a prophylactic mx. The cancer side is trickier because they might have to scoop out more if they don't get clean margins or have close margins (as in my case - which is why I'm doing radiation now). The other thing to consider is just that - radiation on a reconstructed breast is tricky, and there's no guarantee you won't need radiation with a MX. I am 90% sure I won't reconstruct at this point, but I think implants are not going to be an option because of the radiation. And I really don't like the idea of flap surgery - I'm thin and I don't think a DIEP would work on me.
What made my own decision easier was seeing my mother - who had a uni mx and delayed implant reconstruction in the 80s. It wasn't easy, and although I know things are better now, she really hated the fake boob that rode up high on her chest. So I think I've always had in the back of my mind the idea that my boobs were out to get me - which I explained to my surgeon, and I think a light went off in his brain when I said that I'd been worried about them since before I even had boobs.
I would absolutely think about another surgeon if it's an option if you decide not to reconstruct and want a clean flat line and this one is resistant. A friend of mine who had a prophy BMX said I should ask for the "10 yr old boy" look.
Good luck ~
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I would also add that I had a sentinel node biopsy (clear, thankfully),and the scar for that is really high up and very flat under my armpit. It didn't even have surgical tape over it after I got home - I think they just glued it back together. It's about 3 inches long and fading already. My MX scars are about 7 inches long and run with the curve of my ribs. I'm 3 months post surgery and although they're still pink, they're certainly closed and healed. I imagine a longer incision does mean more area for infection, but take a look at the reconstruction discussion boards for all the problems people have had with recon - including implants popping out/ contraction, infections at donor sites for the flap surgery, etc,. A colleague of mine who had a double MX with no recon said her sister had a DIEP and the healing for that is very long (6 weeks), and her sister had at least one infection that slowed things down and needed corrective surgery after the initial operation.
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Jssherman:
New surgeon! You need a new BS, if that's at all possible. Fire him in person, get your chart, and leave. He should know why -- that will help future sisters.
Obviously surgeons don't want to validate rocking flatness as a choice, since that choice yields them the least money. There's nothing in it for them to do that. But this doesn't mean you should be treated poorly.
A PS can actually do your 'close' and make the incision site smoother. You could ask a PS to do that. XXX
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I do want to say in the BS's defense, I did like him and he genuinely seemed to care. He was caught off guard by the BRCA1 diagnosis in that his office staff didn't have that info when the appointment was made. He was expecting me to be there for a simple lumpectomy. I think it just shocked him when I said that I was seriously considering rocking flatness and that I had such an adamant response to him. You really should have seen his face when I said what I did. I can be pretty vocal about my thoughts and when I make up my mind about something, well, my DH said he figures I would be a lot like you Bobogirl.... (compliment) in that I would be and am proud of my battle scars as I call then. I have a 6+ in scar on my back from having the back fusion S1-L3 a little over year ago. I am proud of that scar and the quality of life it gave me back and I tell people it is official that I am now all screwed up. That surgery put 2 rods, 8 screws and 2 bone graph cages in my back, but before that, I couldn't walk without a walker and I couldn't take care of my family. My son tells me that I am 1/2 the back and twice the a$$ since the scar is so big LOL. So, I do know that if I choose to rock flatness, I will be the same way and proud of the choice that I make. I think a lot of it is just overwhelming confusion to all of the information being thrown at us. I am hoping that the female PS I see today will have more answers and be a bit understanding about the way I am leaning. I think the biggest thing is the confusion over the size of the incision and the knowledge of whether or not the pbm without recon now would allow for it later if chosen. We just don't understand how the scar could be bigger without recon vs with recon.
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jsherman, I just had to measure my scar. It's 7.5-8 in long. I knew I didn't want recon from the beginning. I'm a uni, so usually wear a foob (prosthesis). If I weren't a uni I would go flat. I think they leave more skin if you're thinking of recon later. Some of BS bias may be just Texas where the "little ladies" are supposed to be cute and sexy. (Can you tell I've lived there?) Are you planning a uni or considering bilateral because of the BRCA 1?
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it will be a bilateral. And yes wren44 I can tell you have lived here.
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I guess I just don't understand all the fuss. Like I have said, my mom is a 31 year uni so I knew from an early age it was ok and kinda thought of my boobs as the enemy. I firmly believe it is the heart, mind and spirit that define a person not the sum of their parts. I have family that feel the opposite, but my Dh is doesn't care.. Funny story? When we were first engaged, he was teasing my mom and she pulled out the foob and threw it at him across the room. Until that moment, he didn't know.. LOL it was priceless..he just looked at it and didn't
really know what to do, we were only 19..
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Go ex-Texans! (me too, I escaped). jsjherman, I love your story. I remember visiting a friend's family during college and afterwards he told me his mom was so embarassed that we'd sort of appeared without warning so she hadn't had time to put in her foob. I totally didn't notice.
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Js, well said. You certainly do sound like you will rock whatever you choose. Thank your DH for the compliment! This week I could really use them.
Wren is right -- if you want to leave 'the door open' to recon later, your PS will leave things differently than he or she would otherwise (can't help rooting for the woman at this point, although I know I don't know everything). They leave some lumps on your sides; there won't be a smooth flat scar, probably. I think the trick is finding a PS who will actually do what you want (instead of making a decision for you).
We have a friend who has been known to throw her foob at people, don't we, Wren?
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jsjherman, and Lojo great stories!
I am with the others, new Surgeon, definitely!
I am another Uni, who would definitely go flat if I didn't have my "D" cup rogue puppy to contend with when dressing.
I also had a Mother who was a Uni, and although a very sophisticated well groomed lady, she had a wicked sense of humor about her Uni status and Prosthesis too. I am sure her fabulous attitude was what made this an easy transition for me.
When I told my Surgeon I was not going to reconstruct, he didn't miss a beat, and simply said, if I decided to do something later, the door wasn't closed.
I have been constantly saddened, or infuriated, by the stories I have read here about the way women have been treated and actually bullied by some Surgeons on this recon issue. I have also been sickened by the way the statistics on failure of recon, are bent to suit the PS, but that is a whole other story.
I am one who has a very large scar, even larger this week since I had that pocket you speak of, removed. My scar now starts a little on the left remaining breast, because I had some sun damage which gave me a slight pucker, so that was magically fixed during surgery, the scar goes straight across my chest and now curves around under my arm and around the back. I would guess about 14 inches, but in saying that, it is flat and fine, except for a couple of inches in the front which is wider where I had an infection in the first weeks after surgery. The new section added last week to remove the "Dog Ear" is so fine, it is barely visible.
As weird as it may sound, I am actually proud of my scar, not put off by it any way. I think only about what I have gained from this experience, not what I have lost.
I wish you all the very best with your decision, but have to say, make it on your terms, what you want, and what is right for your family, don't be swayed by the opinion of the Doctor who may be a very nice person, but still stands to gain from your decision to undergo more surgery. (((Hugs!)))
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Another vote to ditch this surgeon. That is the problem with some bs, they want to make more money from your surgery. I certainly don't believe that it is easier and less complicated recovering from recon than it is if you choose not to have one. It doesn't make sense. Just read some if the recon threads to see what some of these ladies go through.
And how unprofessional. Of him to say it would look ugly if you didn't do the recon. What a jerk!
There are a lot of good. reasons to choose either way. But remember that the choice is YOURS.
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Well, I just got back from the PS and she is a no nonsense do what is best for you kind of woman. She is one of those women who I lovingly call a "bitch with balls". She sent me home to make a pro/con list of each choice and write up any questions that I have for our next visit. Apparently, she and the BS had discussed me during a surgical procedure this morning. She said that she understood the need for the MRI and wants the results sent to her so we can discuss them together. But, that she didn't understand the need for a lumpectomy prior to the pbm and she would talk to him about that... LOL.. She said I would have to make what choice is right for me and that if I wasn't sure, I could always do the recon later. No matter what, she will be in the OR with him when I have the surgery. They apparently "tag team" the girls to make the surgery go faster where you aren't under anesthesia as long. Thank you ladies for the support and thoughtful insight. I have a lot to think about and want to do what is really best for me. The only con I see to not having the recon?? Not getting to wear my pretty sexy bras, but then my DH said you can always wear a knitted knocker and that would solve that... LOL... he is truly amazing. Bobogirl, he said to tell you that you are welcome and anytime
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Hi all. So happy to find you. I'm less than a week out of bmx after ILC diagnosis a few weeks ago. It was never a question for me whether I would go flat. I applaud you all! As a yoga instructor and avid practitioner, I'm so excited to get myself into some of the more difficult poses that those damn things hindered prior to this sx! That's my little positive thought, amid the many others dragging me down to darkness. My pathology isn't back yet, so, I wait, with all the possibilities good and bad running through my head.
Best to you all on your journey...
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yogamama, Hope you hear soon and it's all favorable. I know what you mean about them being in the way.
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Yogamama, welcome to our group here... think you will be pleased with your decision,. Actually a cancer wellness center gave me (as in gift) 6 months of one-on-one yoga, I had never even tried it before.
Jsjherman- I am flat, and I do not have any extra anything on my sides. I am a bit puffy there because lymph fluid doesn't move too good, but no funny skin bumps. So the doctor can make you as smooth as you wish to be.
Ariom, Just curious, did your mom ever not wear her prosthesis? I know one woman who probably would be your mom's age, or generation and she rocked that one-side-flat look and she had such an attitude no one ever asked why there was only one, you know, the old school teacher stare when she caught us looking at her. But how much I admired her even as a child!
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Hi crystalphm!
My Mother never went without her Prosthesis when she went out, but at home she didn't worry so much about wearing it. When she went into a Nursing home many years later, I had an urgent call from the Manager of the facility to please see her when I visited my Mother. I went into the office that afternoon and this woman apologized and sat wringing her hands. I found out that, by accident, my Mother's clothing had gone to the laundry and her Prosthesis was still in her Mx bra. It had been through the industrial washing machine and then the dryer. I was presented with this massive pink "thing" which had been Mum's Prosthesis. It was hysterical, we both started to laugh and I ended up presenting it to the Manager as a paper weight! My dear Mother was at end stage dementia, so I never bothered to replace that Prosthesis. She spent the rest of her life as a Uni without a Prosthesis.
I had a next door neighbor who was in her 90's, who'd had a Umx 60 years ago and didn't wear a Prosthesis, she would be out in her garden in a light cotton shift dress where she'd chat to everyone who passed. I always felt for the men, who could never look at her when they spoke, they'd be looking everywhere else:)
I had a conversation with her once about it and she said that when she first had her surgery there were no actual prosthesis so they would make a cotton bag and fill with birdseed, puts a whole new slant on "The Birds" doesn't it!
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OMG. another great story from Ariom!! birdseed it is!! My mom never went without her foob either, and even at home she usually wore it, she was a very particular woman and always looked her best. Truthfully, I usually have some form on, a lite weight one if lounging, but like you with a uni size D I feel kinda lopsided and really dont enjoy the look either so I wear mine alot.
Hi yogamama, hope results are the best for you.
Js, glad you had a good visit with your dr., you need to do what is best for you, like they told you, you can always do recon later if you want. I always worry about finding if anything starts to grow again... God forbid... but on a recon boob is it harder to find? just wondering.
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Love this thread! I had tram flap recon on left side, but had chosed not to continue with the nipple on the new breast mound. Just can't be bothered now at this stage. Wish I was flat.
Oceana
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Ola Ladies!
Had my 1 year on Arimidex check up with my Onc & Surgeon today. Both again asked if I had given any thoughts of reconstruction & I smiled at both of them and declined.
I am gleeful about declining - silly stupid grin gleeful.
Woo Hoo, my hair has grown back, different, but back. My toenails have finally grown back and I do NOT want to have anymore surgery for quite awhile.
Thank you for starting this thread BoBo Girl - makes me feel young, when I haven't been feeling that way lately.
Patty
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Thank you ladies for this thread and your insight. I do believe I will be joining the "rocking flatness like a bada$$" when I have my pbm. I just can not come up with enough pros for me to have the recon. I have a lot of cons though... SO.... the decision has been made. I will be flat and proud! Now, if I could just get them to schedule the surgery... hopefully after the MRI and we get the results. I am nervous again that they are going to find cancer when they look this time. I am feeling good about my decision and my DH is so loving and supportive. I couldn't do this journey without him and without y'all (sorry Texan talk) Be blessed my sweet sisters
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