Stage 1 high grade triple negative:(

MrsHerrera80 · February 2014

I'm 33, by far the strongest, most positive person I know. I take care of myself so much. This just sucks really bad. I have 13 and 15 year old daughters, and a husband of 14 years. Also BRCA 1+. I made a poor choice of surveillance over prophylactic surgery. My diagnosis was yesterday, I was OK until just now. Out of nowhere I got a cold sore, and started having what I guess is an anxiety attack. My 15 year old daughter just came and laid on top of me and told me 'its okay to cry now, mom.'

5 appointments next week. I'm really overwhelmed. Sent husband to pick up the Xanax I did not think I would need.

wyo · February 2014

Virtual hugs MrsHerrera and its great your daughter is there to give her hugs too.

Please don't beat yourself up over what you coulda,shoulda,woulda done up until this diagnosis. You are still the strong positive person you were 2 days ago you just have been given a huge change to deal with and its scary and overwhelming. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you need to feel except guilty- easier said than done I know but the focus now is on treatment and hindsight is always 20/20.

We are here for you when you need us

TB90 · February 2014

This is such a difficult time. We have all been there and have either gotten through it or are going through it too. You have joined us and you will get through it with us. It has some really difficult times, but also some surprising good moments. Your sweet daughter laying with you and trying to reassure you has demonstrated without a doubt how much she loves you and what a great job you have done as her mother. Once the sheer horror and shock subsides a bit, these moments will surprise you and bring you such comfort. You will panic over every symptom, ache and pain for awhile and then you will settle into a new sort of normal. Do not be afraid by your feelings right now. It does get easier, not necessarily easy, but doable. And Xanax helps too

camillegal · February 2014

MrsHerrara this is a no guilt, free speaking place. Everything is thrown at u in oh about 5 minutes which changes everything. But u'r strength will surely come thru. Right now just feel what u feel and take u'r Xanax and u'r DD (dear dgtr) is wonderful u'r very lucky to have u'r family and u'r husband getting u'r meds. It will all be better when there is a plan in action and u'll feel better with that. But there are loads of women (and some men) on these threads and again no one judges so find what u want and join in, u'll be surprised how much it can help u. (((HUGS)))

Anonymous · February 2014

MrsHerrera, Slow deep breaths. I chose that name because that's what I had to do to get through the first couple of weeks. It's very overwhelming at the beginning, but once you have a treatment plan in place, it will get better. The women on these boards will help you every step of the way. You are not alone. {{{gentle hugs}}}

MrsHerrera80 · February 2014

Thank you girls so much. I'm honestly a f#@#*$* hot mess right now. I feel so bad for everyone around me that this affects. I haven't cried in front of anybody yet. I'm the assistant director at a preschool, & I work one-on-one with the parents and their families and I have become very close to many many of them, i absolutely love my job. I had to tell them all yesterday that Monday is my last day at work for at least 12 weeks. A lot of them cried, hugged me, expressed their deepest settiments & I felt like such a cold person because I can't cry. I can when I'm by myself, but I feel so cold not showing any emotion of them. I

Stage 1 high grade triple negative:(

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