Protecting my body from my rambunctious Toddler

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Tartaruga
Tartaruga Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Young With Breast Cancer

My first post. Diagnosed last week. 37 yo. 2 boys, 2 and 5. So far it looks like an aggressive invasive cancer. I don't know all the details yet. I'm not sure what my whole treatment will look like yet. MRI on Monday. 

But I'm curious, No matter whether lumpectomy or mastectomy - how do you ladies keep your toddler from banging into you nonstop long enough to allow healing? The only thing I can imagine is physically keeping him away. I'm very much still in the "I'm going to die before he grows up" frame of mind. I can't imagine being away from either of my boys for a moment or missing any time with them, since who knows how much time I have? 

Someone please help my brain with these logistics! 

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  • RCR
    RCR Member Posts: 36
    edited February 2014

    hi. I feel your pain. Put away the journaling materials and try not to go crazy right now. You have a lot ahead of you still. As you have more and more appointments you will get many questions answered and anxiety will get more bearable.  It will get easier, but never easy. I had a 6, 4, and 2 year old at my initial diagnosis and the thought of not seeing them grow up could bring me to years in a split second and still can. You are very early in your diagnosis and young so hopefully it is caught early. Most people who go through all this live long full lives. It will be a bumpy and tough road for a while. 

    And about keeping from being hurt while healing? With any breast surgery you cannot lift or put your arms up (if you have a masectomy) for a while and that is always tough. I think mom's have a harder time recovering quickly cause we push ourselves to take care of kids. Get help and learn to ask for things. Your kiddos are going to see mommy needing help and will want to help and not hurt you. Don't hide too much from them. It's ok for them to see you down and out for a bit. My poor kids are so use to this stuff I think it's just the norm at this point.  Good luck to you!!! 

    There are meds too for anxiety and sleep if you are having a hard time. Ask your dr and don't feel embarrassed. This is very stressful times for you and your family. Hugs!!!

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  • Cougarlicious
    Cougarlicious Member Posts: 114
    edited March 2014

    I have a three year old at home (along with a newborn) and I feared this as well, especially since at the time of diagnosis I was the primary one doing bedtime routines with my son, including putting him in his crib.  As I went through chemo, I still felt well enough to handle it but we started having my husband take over more and more of the routine so my son would get used to someone other than Mommy handling things.  As it got closer to surgery, we talked to him about Mommy having a boo-boo and because of it she can't lift him until she gets better.  I'm two weeks post my BMX and my son (who is SUPER rough and tumble) has been really good at being gentle with me because he knows "Mommy has a boo-boo."  We get in lots of hugs and kisses while I'm seated.  And he now has a stronger relationship with his father, which is nice.  Kids are way more understanding and resilient than we think. :)

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  • clarrn
    clarrn Member Posts: 557
    edited March 2014

    I have a two and a half year old and we have told her from the initial biopsies that my boobies were sore and we had to be careful until after the doctor fixed them.  Just over 2 weeks since BMX with immediate recon and she has been really careful.  Once in a while she checks to see if I am still bruised and have steristrips and then says "back hugs today mommy" and squeezes me tight around my neck from my back.  We forgot to mention the drains in advance and she wanted to drink the "juice" from my "bottles".  YUCK!  Not sure if your child would want all the info but it helped mine.  If you have a play doctors kit you might try bandaging a doll and pretending to be careful as a game.  Daddy has also been giving extra hugs and I tickle and hold her hand alot so she still gets the physical contact. 

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  • Tartaruga
    Tartaruga Member Posts: 2
    edited March 2014

    Thanks ladies. So far he's been pretty careful. I'm surprised! I wasn't expecting so much awareness from the little monkey. 

    I had partial mastectomy surgery last week, and I have reexcision coming up on Monday for a positive margin. My outlook is improved now that I am past the initial terror of diagnosis. But there is so much still unknown for me. This website and forum are awesome. 

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