my doc told me to face death now from her2 breast cancer

We were all terrified when we heard the word Cancer

but you're at a very early stage

If your Tumor was up to 2CM and no nodes were involved it's Stage I

don't concentrate on the grade too much since chemo attacking all the cells already

Do you have family and friends ?

Which stupid DR told you you had 6 months left /

Fire him or her and get a new one who knows what he is talking about

Optimistictraveler  

Hugs

Hi Helen - Yes, I did Herceptin every 3 weeks with Taxol and Carboplatin for 6 treatments and then every 3 weeks for the rest of the year (18 total). Please feel free to ask any questions! We all remember the feeling of terror when first diagnosed. 

Helen,

As others have said, "Breathe" and try as hard as you can to relax.  All of us who have unwillingly joined the breast cancer club understand the panic and terror you are feeling. But, it is important to remember that there are many effective treatments. It sounds like you are receiving appropriate treatment, but your doctor's attitude is difficult to understand. If it is possible for you to change oncologists at this point or at least obtain a second opinion, please do so.  No one should be facing treatment from such a negative doctor. As others have written, if we understand your diagnosis correctly, you should have many wonderful and rewarding years ahead of you. Get ready to enjoy them!

Hi Helen, 

I've responded to a couple thread and am going to again here. Nobody is mad at you and chemotherapy can be a real nightmare. I was so short of breath and dizzy that there were days I crawled to the bathroom (and I'm 52, so it's hard to imagine how difficult it would be when you are older. Nobody's mad at you, we just want to be able to actually talk to you and know that you're hearing the things we're saying. 

The first thing that we're ALL saying is that there is NO reason to believe that this will kill you in six months or ever. I have stage 3 cancer, grade 2/3 and my tumor was 9cm and had spread to a bunch of lymph nodes. There are women who have cancer that HAS spread to their liver, their lungs, their brain, their bones and many of them live for years. I'm not saying this at all to make light of your fears - having cancer is scary. It's especially scary if you don't have support around you and if you have a stupid doctor. And if your doctor told you that you're dying in six months then he's plain stupid. 

Do you have someone who is helping you? With things like making sure you are getting good healthy meals and that your bed is comfortable? Because right now that is important. If you don't have somebody doing those things, let us know and we can help get you in tough with some organizations that will provide you with help. 

Know that you are not going through this alone. We all know how scary it is and we will be here for you. 

The first thing is to get rid of that doctor. Is he an oncologist?

I am guessing that if you have had 3 chemo treatments, you are about at the end of them (what you'll have after surgery will be much much easier).  

(((Helen))) - hoping you feel heard and know that we are here for you!  

Do you have someone to help you?  When you go to the BC center speak to the oncology social worker.  If you need help they will assist you in receiving services...American Cancer Society and Caring Bridge.  Your sons may set up account for you...it is always amazing how many people will step up to help...drive, bring meals, pickup meds, sit with you.  The hardest part is asking, but do ask! 

Sleep well...sending healing thoughts&prayers 

Cindy

helen,

i don't think your doc was being professional to say you only got few months left. it hasn't spread yet. it's just so unnecessary to put a patient into panic like this.

can you seek a second opinion? may be ask someone go to with you for the next visit?

i am so sorry....

See if they can switch you to weekly chemo instead of every few weeks. It is supposed to be bad for the malignant cells but easier on your healthy tissues.

My friend had stage 4 colon cancer, was given three months to live -- she is cancer-free some 8 years later. No one gets to decide how much time you have left, except for you. 

I have a similar diagnosis and my doctors so far have indicated that it is serious but very treatable. Find a new doc!

helen I am glad you came back- don't worry about if you don't know how to post correctly no one is going to hold that against you and if they do- you don't want their support anyway- 

I wrote to you sometime in the past when you posted this about your physician and giving you no hope- if you are a real sincere poster who is just anxious and confused versus someone who joined this board to post things and get everyone all fired up I am happy to keep answering you. Many have responded that cancer will not spread through your body so quickly and they have had long active lives since diagnosis. I am not sure where/why you thought it could spread so quickly that treatment was not worth it? But you do say you are getting treatment so your care team must be trying to get things under control?  all very confusing helen for us reading your story.

How did you find this physician? I told you last time I posted I was worried that because of your age I wanted to make sure you were getting full treatment that you want so you have a great quality of life.  Boston has thousands of physicians so wondering why you are staying with someone who clearly does not have the same plan in mind that you do. If you have insurance along with medicare- call them and ask for names of others covered under your plan.  

Only you can decide what you want to believe and what you want to do. We are all trying our best to listen and provide experiences and support. 

gypsy. So sorry to hear you're not getting the support you so desperately need from your doctor. Please do what others have suggested and find another. Does your local hospital have a breast care advocate? Mine does, and she has been wonderful. I've met with her several times and she has had nothing but concern for my outcomes. I hope you can find someone like her where you live. I send you blessings and positive thoughts..you can do this!!!!

Helenely, chemo can make you feel pretty sick while you are going through it. I had days of extreme fatigue - usually started about 4 days after each treatment & lasted until it was almost time for the next one. I was on a protocol with chemo every 2 weeks, called "dose dense." There are all different chemo drugs and protocols. The 3-week one is pretty common & may be easier on you than every two weeks. Be sure to let your doctor or a nurse at the clinic know if you feel extremely ill - worse than the fatigue, I mean. They can prescribe anti-nausea medication if necessary, and other medications to help with side effects, as needed. I had pretty bad mouth sores, too. If the chemo affects your appetite or taste buds, try to eat what you can, even if it's ice cream! (Of course, try to eat foods with good nutrition when you can.) Make an effort to stay hydrated, too. I figured I had about 7 good days out of every two weeks' treatment when I felt better, but still fatigued - just better.

When you go in for treatments, they will check your white blood counts & red blood counts to make sure they are in the OK range & you are not getting too anemic or neutropenic (white blood counts too low that make it difficult to fight off infection). The chemo is killing off the cancer cells, but it also kills off other fast-dividing cells like hair & blood cells. The blood cell-making parts of your body build them up in the time between treatments. If these blood counts are too low, there are medications they can give. I had these extra treatments with my dose-dense chemo. Not everyone needs them, and on a 3-week protocol, your body will naturally bring these counts back to normal. 

The Herceptin did not make me sick at all. Perjeta has come along since I completed my treatment, but I would assume it also is much less likely to cause side effects than the standard chemotherapy.

 Soon after you complete the chemo, you will probably start feeling much better & much like your old self. Your hair will start growing back a few months later. You will probably still have the Herceptin & Perjeta - I'm not sure of the current treatment protocol. But you will be feeling much, much better. 

You might want to talk to someone about getting some help with the anxiety and depression you seem to be having. These feelings are perfectly normal in your situation, and we have all been there to some extent. Psychotherapy with someone who helps cancer patients with these feelings helps some women, and some get medication to get them through. Some women also take sleep medication for the first time in their lives, until they get over the hump. If your clinic or hospital has a cancer navigator, they can be very helpful for you. There is help out there for you - you don't have to just tough it out by yourself!

Dear Helene:

My heart goes out to you.  When I was first diagnosed at stage 3, my doctors never said anything like what was said to you.  In fact, quite the opposite.  They were very encouraging.  HOWEVER, I felt all the emotions you felt.  I didn't want to go anywhere, see anyone, talk to anyone, everything made me sick to my stomach, I slept a lot, my only feelings seemed to be those of anxiety, fear, and PANIC.  Please know that, at stage 2, even though it's grade 3, you have a VERY STRONG chance of beating this.  The odds are with you!  By the way, so is God - hold on to Him and don't let go!

When I progressed to stage 4 (there were many factors against me which you don't have, including some hereditary traits), I looked back on all those wasted moments of negative feelings and regretted every single one.  Now, I'm much better at handling life, thanks be to God.

There are so many women who are stage 2 (and 3) who have beaten HER2 cancer years ago and are still cancer-free. You may not find them on here - they're out living their lives!  In fact, there are many stage 4 HER2 women who have been NED (no evidence of disease) for years, thanks to new targeted treatments like herceptin, perjeta, and TDM1.  And there are others currently in clinical trials.

You have a long, happy, healthy life ahead of you, Helene.  Accept it.  Enjoy it.  Get through your treatments, surgery, and radiation, and then say good-bye to this part of your life.  The best is yet to be.

Love,

Penny