my doc told me to face death now from her2 breast cancer

Options
helenelv1944
helenelv1944 Member Posts: 26
edited June 2014 in Just Diagnosed

sorry i keep posing in all sorts of different forums on here but i am scared so much right now i am 70, i just saw my doc and DOC told me start planning your death now, he said you would be lucky to be around in the next 6 months. to my knowledge herceptin, perjeta along with chemo will not help my doc told me. he said just live out your life now.

i dont know if i should seek another opinion i have GRADE 3, Level 1 to 2 , T2 , HER-2 Positive Breast Cancer. it has not spread that i know of due to many tests/scans i've had. so to me it makes me think i got no shot, im as good as dead.

PLEASE HELP i am about to die! 

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
«13

Comments

  • Gypsy_Dr34m3r
    Gypsy_Dr34m3r Member Posts: 18
    edited February 2014

    Oh Helen, my heart goes out to you.
    If I were you, I'd ditch this doc immediately and definitely go for a second opinion.
    Don't give up, just because he/she has.
    Google for specialists in your area and get that second opinion.
    My thoughts are with you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • RMlulu
    RMlulu Member Posts: 1,989
    edited February 2014

    Helen - Breathe!  Please go to your BC center and see a oncologist social worker to listen and help you get a better grasp on your dx.  You can just drop in...most have support groups that meet weekly...but go share your fear and calm your mind.  Everyone here has told you...you will make it!  BELIEVE!

    Than get a second or third opinion.  Did your Dr really say your going to dropped dead in 6 months?  If so, Dr should be fired immediately.  Seek a good team...stage 1 is not a death sentence.  Yes, there may be treatment and choices you never wanted to face, but I would be planning a big 'I did it party' to celebrate life after each treatment ...my odds are on you...:D

    Breathe, pull up your big girl panties! slip into your favorite kick a## heels! apply lip gloss! put on some tunes and dance!  You can do this...yes you can!

    (((Hugs)))

    Cindy

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Jelson
    Jelson Member Posts: 1,535
    edited February 2014

    Of course you should seek another opinion. why won't the drugs that work for other women help you? Make an appt with a breast cancer specialist. Get all your scans/path reports etc together.  Are you going to these appointments by yourself? try to get someone to go with you to hear what the doctors say and to ask the questions you wanted to ask but forgot.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LittleMelons
    LittleMelons Member Posts: 273
    edited February 2014

    From what you have said about your diagnosis, there is something terribly wrong with a doctor saying you will be lucky to be around in 6 months.  On the contrary, it is quite likely you will live out your natural lifespan.  As others have said, get another doctor imeediately, a medical oncologist at a major cancer centre.  Don't go and spend all your money now.  You are going to be around for a very long time, my dear helenelv1944!!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mkkjd60
    mkkjd60 Member Posts: 583
    edited February 2014

    Helen,  I have a friend that is going on year 6 after a HER-2 dx.  And she's going reaaallllllll strong!  Run, don't walk, to a new doctor.  Good luck.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited February 2014

    Rubbish, get a new doctor xx

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Deblc
    Deblc Member Posts: 479
    edited February 2014

    GET A SECOND OPINION IMMEDIATELY. A doctor that can answer every question you have, and give you reasons why he/she has that opinion. I am Stage IIIC, spread to lymph nodes, HER2+ and am undergoing treatment (herceptin being one of them) . I DO NOT UNDERSTAND how that doctor could've told you that. There might be more information, but you must make sure you fully understand what the doc is saying. Take a family member or friend with you, if you can, and have them take notes, and ask ask ask questions if you still don't understand. My prayers are with you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited February 2014

    Helen...i was diagnosed April 2005 with Triple positive BC and none of my Doctors talked stupid  sorry but something is not right with your DR......

    Yes it will take some time to recover from Chemo but you'll be here for long time.....

    My tumor was 1.2 cm and had a LUMPECTOMY...chemo...Herceptin...radiation and took Femara for 5 years

    Herceptin is not chemo it's a maintenance drug that has been approved for early stagers at 2005 just few weeks before I was DX and one of the first patients given Herceptin with Taxol

    What is your ER and PR Status

    Please don't open another thread let's communicate here OK?

    Hugs ♥

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Kicks
    Kicks Member Posts: 4,131
    edited February 2014

    I can not believe that any reputable Doctor would tell someone who is IDC Stage I or II that they will be dead in 6 Month.  Perhaps he is referring to other health issues you are dealing with?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited February 2014

    Helen perhaps you can come here and talk to us

    You have about 20 threads opened but why aren't you communicating ?

    We care we really do but if you don't post it's very difficult to support you.....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LizA17
    LizA17 Member Posts: 159
    edited February 2014

    Im sorry, but something is just not right here! As you can see, I was node positive Stage 2 and my Dr has never been anything but optimistic about my prognosis.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • RMlulu
    RMlulu Member Posts: 1,989
    edited February 2014

    Helen - just stay on one thread...stay here and we all will be there for you.

    Remember it's a discussion thread so we need to hear back from you.

    A dialogue with you...so post...not a new thread....we are waiting to hear from you here!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • helenelv1944
    helenelv1944 Member Posts: 26
    edited February 2014

    ok i am sorry i really am ..so ill end it now...  I am new to this. i dont know any of this how to post or reply back .i am so so sorry i will leave now i have made many people mad and upset on this website because i dont know what to do, or how to respind untill now...i will just accept the fact i will be dead soon like my doctor told me today. bye all. now none of you will have to deal with me posting here because as my doctor has said ill be dead any time now thanks all! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • pipers_dream
    pipers_dream Member Posts: 618
    edited February 2014

    Helen, I don't think you made anyone mad.  They are just wondering what's going on with you and you sound too panicked to think straight.  I do believe you need another doc--I have met those with a bad bedside manner but this one takes the cake.  Please, take a deep breath and let us know more details so we can help.  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sarahjane7374
    sarahjane7374 Member Posts: 669
    edited February 2014

    Helen - don't take this wrong but your doctor sounds like an a-hole.  Please check your private messages....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Girlstrong
    Girlstrong Member Posts: 438
    edited February 2014

    hi Helen, you can do this!!!! I am here to tell you that it can be done!!!!! I'm also here to say that your doctor is a complete ass and should have their license suspended. Doctors are human and so not perfect, they make lots of mistakes. Stage 1 or 2 is not a death sentence. Breast cancer at that stage is still considered curable and decent doctors should approach your treatment plan in that manner. Get a second opinion and be strong. No one here is offended or mAd at you, you are going to make it. Have faith Helen; were here for you. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • RMlulu
    RMlulu Member Posts: 1,989
    edited February 2014

    Helen -  Please, Don't Go!  So sorry that you misunderstood and I've offended you...forgive me. 

    We want to be there for you...we've all been dx with BC and shaken...we come to these boards looking for a safe place to vent, share, seek help, encouragement and a bond with others who understand.  

    Hoping you stay, get a 2nd opinion with your son(s) present or a dear friend to help get all your questions ask and understand your diagnosis and prognosis.  

    There are many here who have similar dx and their BC team did not tell them the frightening things you heard.    

    We see life for you! Don't give up!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LaVieEnRose
    LaVieEnRose Member Posts: 17
    edited February 2014

    Oh my gosh, Helen, I'm so sorry to hear what your doctor said to you!!!!  :(  I agree with all the others, get another opinion.  Get 3 or 4 opinions!  Remember that the doctors work for us, we don't work for them.  So you can absolutely go see another one and don't look back.  If you live in the Boston area, I'm sure there are loads of specialists that you can see and choose from.  One of the most important things you can do is have a doctor that you feel like you can trust your life with.  The one that you saw sounds horrible and I'm not sure I'd send a hamster to get diagnosed by them  :(  

    We're all here for you!!  *hugs*

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sarahjane7374
    sarahjane7374 Member Posts: 669
    edited February 2014

    Helen - my sister and I were both treated in and around Boston.  You have other options besides that idiot you are seeing.  Contact me.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LizA17
    LizA17 Member Posts: 159
    edited February 2014

    Helen..I meant something wrong with your Doctor..certainly not you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited February 2014

    helene - no one was finger pointing at you; they were just anxious to help you. We all know how upset you are; we would be too. If you are still even reading our posts I think the consensus is get another opinion. I cant imagine a doctor with your DX giving you an expiration date. Now is the time to be your own advocate. Good suggestions here about people to see and places to go and I would do all of that. Whatever you do don't throw in the towel. Diane

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Kicks
    Kicks Member Posts: 4,131
    edited February 2014

    You do obviously know how to start threads and reply on others.  Many have (as it now seems) wasted their time trying to give you positive/supportive input - you still have not aknowledged them at all.

    (Oh bye the bye - IF you were born 8/23/1944 as your profile shows - you not 70 - 69 yes but not yet 70)

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited February 2014

    Helen....Just post the way you did about an hour ago...You definitely know what posting is.......

    I read one of your other threads that the DR is not gonna put you on 5 year medication that means you are ER- PR-

    Am I getting this right?

    just give us some more information 

    We really are trying to help you

    This is not the end of your life and you are not dying in 6 months

    ♥

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • helenelv1944
    helenelv1944 Member Posts: 26
    edited February 2014

    once again i am new to all of this and i am just now starting to know how to run this and work this forum thing on. give me a break i am getting old. i am not use to being online or a computer. please help me! i am 69 going to be 70 years old soon , i call myself 70 cuz i NOW feel it due to this cancer... i got diagnosed December 2013 with GRADE 3, Level 1-2   T2 , HER-2 Positive Breast Cancer (ER, PR, & Her-2) this is my stats 

    the report says i have a 2 CM Mass, Five O Clock position right breast I have been put On Herceptin, Chemo and Perjeta.

    and the doc told me today that i got slim to no chance of living through this. and to just continue to live out my life 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited February 2014

    Welcome back

    Helen...How many treatments did you have so far ?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • helenelv1944
    helenelv1944 Member Posts: 26
    edited February 2014

    so far i have chemo every 3 weeks. ive already went through 2 chemo treatments. i got several more to go. then surgery then radiation although i dont know if thats the plan now since my doc made me think im close to death. i lost all my hair . i am so worn down and tired. i get out of breath really fast to the point i feel likei cant even walk long distance or stand for long periods of time. this chemo has taken its toll on me. herceptin, perjeta along with chemo is what i am on, 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited February 2014

    Herceptin is given once a week for 1 year that's what i had or every 3 weeks for one year

    Which combo are you getting? Once a week or every 3 weeks Herceptin treatment

    Your hair will grow before you know it

    Once you're done with chemo and only on Herceptin your hair will start to grow

    Feeling so tired is a normal side effect of the chemo

    Drink plenty of water and rest when you need it

    Look at my diagnosis line......I'm still here after almost 9 years later

    Hugs

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • helenelv1944
    helenelv1944 Member Posts: 26
    edited February 2014

    when i 1st heard i had breast cancer i thought it was all over me. i feared it had spread inside my body. i am very worried that since i have grade 3 stage 1- 2  it will spread all over my body in no time at all. does it spread really quick over say in like a month? i heard i  had breast cancer in dec 2013 

    right now i am on herceptin,perjeta combined with 2 other things. but i take herceptin every 3 weeks combined with the others, but after these treatments i will be on herceptin up to a year i think by itself . 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mmtagirl
    mmtagirl Member Posts: 509
    edited February 2014

    welcome back, Helen. Do NOT give up! My mother was diagnosed at 70 with her second primary BC and was told by some of the best doctors that she was tumor chasing at best.  She will soon be 75 and is my inspiration.  Seek a doctor that is willing to work with you and understand you.  They are out there and wonderful.  Find someone you trust to come with you to appointments and help you.  We are all her for you and understand the panic, fear and difficulty in getting to know how to work these forums and threads.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • suemed8749
    suemed8749 Member Posts: 1,151
    edited February 2014

    Our diagnosis lines are very similar, Helen. I had two invasive tumors, extensive DCIS, grade 3, Stage 2a, ER-/PR- and Her2+. I was diagnosed in January of 2008. Six years later, I am doing well. As a matter of fact, my next oncology appointment is in February of 2015. Your diagnosis is not a death sentence. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories