Well hell, that wasn't good news

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    ...Thank you, rosestoeses, for asking. I was up late, reading your blog...Good job of writing, it is wonder-awful!! well done, and please keep going! i noticed my treatment center had called my cellphone yesterday, but they did not leave a message. Me, being the big chicken, did not call them back. i will today though, i think it was to schedule an appointment that is not on my schedule already. So, i don't know anything yet. hopefully, i am on the bottom of the stack, because it's not important!  i don't know quite what you mean by the bone scan may not rule it in? can you explain for me? Do you mean it might be there, but they wouldn't see it? My breast surgeon told me the other day, that at the beginning, they didn't think i would make it this far. love/hate her, we've had our moments, but now, at least she is honest with me.

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    ....and please, rosestoeses, no worries, i completely get the distracted part!

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    kathec, thank you for the kind words about my blog, glad you enjoyed it.  

    What I meant about the bone scan was that if, I understand correctly, it will light up on cancer but also on other things.  So if it doesn't light up, that's good news and should mean no detectable bone mets.  But if it does light up, it's not necessarily cancer, either.  It may be cancer but it could also be arthritis or inflammation, so more testing is recommended.  So what I was trying to say was it can be used to rule out bone mets, but by itself it wouldn't be able to diagnose that it was bone mets and not something else.

    But, I'm still hoping you get a "nothing to see here" report!

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  • Woodylb
    Woodylb Member Posts: 1,454
    edited February 2014

    rosestoeses i am so sorry, but be happy that your organs are clean and don't be afraid of bone mets, these days there are a lots of options. I wasn't this lucky when my scan lit up on the hip bones and pelvis , it also lit on my liver. So now the entire focus is on my liver which was confirmed by biopsy. Have faith, and strength and don't be afraid you will do well. Keep us informed. Wishing you peace of mind and a lot of prayers are coming your way. 

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited February 2014

    Rosestoeses, 

    This stinks ! I am so sorry for this difficult, sad news. I am sending positive wishes. 

    My MO said 2 years PFC was a vulnerable time for those of us with positive nodes. 

    Today I found out that PFC,  meant post final chemo....I thought it was post fu$king chemo.

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited February 2014

    i am over two years out with liver mets. I am so sorry you are going through this.

    Cathec. I'm so sorry your oncologist said that to you. I know for me it's important to work with an oncologist who treats me like I'm going to live. And I plan to live a long time.

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    Woodielb, Holeinone, gritgirl, thank you.  I'm so sorry about those liver mets, Woodielb and gritgirl, wishing you much success with the drugs.

    And Holeinone, I had to laugh as I read your post; my thoughts went like, "PFC?  What is PFC?" then "Oh, ok, post final chemo..." and straight on to, "yep, totally more like it!" I hadn't heard that about the 2 years, but it looks like I'm probably squarely in that statistic (last chemo will be 2 years in October).  My onc has been very supportive of my bringing possible issues to her between appointments and never delayed ordering tests to check things out, so I know she's been taking the risks seriously.  Good thing, I guess.

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    thanks, gritgirl. i am not sure , i think she meant without progression. i had told her once that i believed i was already stage lV, but it just wasnt detected yet. she thought i was having a death-wish. NO- but 3c? c'mon. why not go ahead and call it four? thus avoiding surgury, but no, three, they throw everything at you, because they are still going for "cure" and not control. and thus, quality of life and complications for the rest of your life, included. I do read your blog too, and it is great too. i am so grateful for those of you that do blog, it is important. i wish i hade done the same, but most of my writing is on paper. i  have been threatening myself to start one for a long time, i still may!

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited February 2014

    kathec. Thanks for the compliment. It is a real balance between the cancer and quality of life. I hope your lingering issues are tolerable. Besides the physical stuff, the emotional stuff is most challenging to me. Thank god I'm working with an Imerman angel, a counselor, and other longer term metsters to chill myself. Some days are just bad

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    i love imerman angels! i was thinking about hooking up, with them to what a profound thing they seem to be. thanks for reminding me. i do have an offer for a counselour, whom i have met, and really like, but she is far! she is an artist too, so one way or another, i should really speak with her again.

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited February 2014

    kathec. I've worked with counselors over the phone. Support is still good over the phone. :-)

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited February 2014

    Just wanted to stop by, check on you and give you a big hug.

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    Jenny, thank you.  That is so kind of you.  Biopsy tomorrow, and mostly I'm relieved that it's almost here.

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    best wishes for you, tomorrow, Roses.

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2014

    Will be thinking of you tomorrow, RosesToeses, hoping all goes well.

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  • ziggypop
    ziggypop Member Posts: 1,071
    edited February 2014

    Stopping in too with hugs best thoughts for you Roses Toses. I'm hoping that it turns out that this was all just a big scare, but either way, we will be here for you and with you. Much love and big hugs. 

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    Thanks you, Kathe, Gitane, and Ziggypop, very kind of you to think of me, thank you so much.

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited February 2014

    roses. Good luck

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  • lisa137
    lisa137 Member Posts: 569
    edited February 2014

    Good luck. My prayers will be with you.

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  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited February 2014

    Roses, gentle blessings tomorrow.  We'll all be in your pocket.  Prayers for you tonight.

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    Thank you, gritgirl, Lisa137, and sbelizabeth.  So sorry that any of us have cancer, but glad to have you all with me going through this.

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  • TectonicShift
    TectonicShift Member Posts: 752
    edited October 2014

    Sending good karma your way, which is easy as I'm in MA too. Are you going to DF? MG? 

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  • Kiss77
    Kiss77 Member Posts: 162
    edited February 2014


    Roses, Good luck!

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited February 2014

    Roses....thinking of you right now, good luck...

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2014

    Hoping for the best for you today.

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    fingers crossed for you today, rosestoeses. and, great name, bad @ usernames!

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  • peacestrength
    peacestrength Member Posts: 690
    edited February 2014

    Hugs to you!

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited February 2014

    Thinking of you today and hoping you are doing well. 

    Love,
    Sharon

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  • hopefour
    hopefour Member Posts: 459
    edited February 2014

    Thought and prayed for you...hoping all went well! Please let us know how you are doing!! 

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    Thanks, everyone, it means a lot to me to have your supportive messages.  I reread them in recovery (wasn't feeling that up to posting) and it was a real comfort.  

    Biopsy went fine.  It wasn't a lot of fun, but the Interventional Radiologist told me I would feel pressure, which was really the worst part, aside from the whole "I am lying here while they stick a needle deep into parts I always keep covered and push it into my bone so they can pull out a little cancer" thing, anyway (gallows humor there).  The conscious sedation was helpful, made me a bit nauseous but nothing major.  But it was just kind of a depressing day.

    Now just waiting for pathology to see for sure and my oncologist to (presumably) come up with a new plan. 

    Tectonic Shift, I wasn't at DF or MG, my oncologist is at Lahey and that's where I've been getting my care.  I'm planning on getting a second opinion at DF when pathology comes back, but that's something that's really stressing me out.  I really like my oncologist here and her nurse practitioner, my plastic surgeon is absolutely incredible, and I like that the care is integrated so that my primary and the other subspecialties I see are fully in the loop.  But, for cancer in the Boston area, obviously DF and MG are the elite centers and I need to seriously consider transferring my care.  It just depresses me to have to think about.

    But, one day at a time.  And fortunately yesterday is done with and on to today.

    Thanks, everyone for all the kind messages, prayers, and support :)

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