70 yr old stage 1 grade 3 cancer her 2 pos please help

You are not doomed! I'm almost at 10 years since a diagnosis of stage III, grade 3, Her2+, with involvement in 5 lymph nodes. So there is definitely hope for your future! No spread beyond the breast is very good. 

To try to answer some of your questions:

Most breast cancers do not have any pain or other symptoms (beyond possibly finding a lump) & patients feel perfectly fine. This makes it even more difficult to believe that it's true. (Exceptions include rarer cancers like inflammatory BC). I had a 2.7cm tumor that was not palpable, even to my breast surgeon. I never had any pain or other symptoms of the cancer.

I can't tell you anything about the chemo drugs because some of them are more recent than when I went through chemotherapy. However, I have heard of all of them being used. You should talk more to your oncologist if you have questions about these drugs. Of course, they are "proven" or they wouldn't be allowed. But remember, none of these treatments will absolutely give a 100% cure to everyone. I'm also sure your doctor wouldn't be using non-FDA approved meds.

I did have Herceptin and Taxol (which is similar to Docetaxel), in addition to some other chemotherapy drugs that were much harder to deal with (Adriamycin and Cytoxan). I had absolutely no side effects to the Herceptin over the 12 months that I was on it. The other chemos were much shorter time. My chemotherapy came after surgery, but more & more, doctors are choosing to administer it prior to surgery. Chemo often shrinks the tumor a lot. I also still take a daily pill of Arimidex (almost 9 years now), essentially an estrogen blocker. No side effects from that for me, either. If you are also estrogen positive, your doctor will probably want you on something similar when you have completed all your other treatments. 

For surgery, I had a lumpectomy instead of mastectomy. With that choice, radiation is necessary, too. With mastectomy, sometimes radiation is also recommended, but not always. Which type of surgery you decide on is again something for you & your doctor to discuss. Sometimes, mastectomy is necessary, but often it's a choice.

You should make a list of your questions and then take them to your doctors. You will probably have different questions for your oncologist and your breast surgeon. 

Remember, many of us have been where you are now, and many of us are still around many years later. I for one, plan to die of something else when I'm very, very old (like 95) -- after wringing all the juice out of this life I can! So don't despair -- and know that this forum is here for you!

I will echo what the others have said - you do not have a death sentence.  It won't be fun.  It will be a year out of your life that you have to go through and deal with all the treatments that you will have.   And chemo will probably make you lose your hair and make you feel sick.   But it ends.  Good for you to stop drinking.   There are also a lot of other lifestyle things that you can do to reduce your risk of recurrence - eating more vegetables, less sugar - and exercising.  You will be ok.

You are not 'DOOMED'!  And Dec 13 is a good date - our oldest sone was born n Dec. 13 (1977). Dec. 13, 2013 is also a good day because it is the day that you learned that there is 'monster'  that was unknown before that date but it waas there anyway - silently invading.   Now that know  - you (with the help of your Drs, family and the strength within you) are ready to battle and DEFEAT it!

I'm 67 yrs young  and was DXd with IBC (inflammatory Breast Cancer) in Aug '09 and as far as I know I am still NED (No Evidence of Disease).   I never had any pain or 'felt bad' at all.   I had had my annual mammo in late ju  ne andeverything was as it's been for years - no issues.  I found an enlarged node under arm and my PA was on vacation so it took me a week to get into see her - didn't want to see anyone else.  I saw her at 11 on Thurs, she had at raiology at 1 for a new mammo, sono rapidly followed as did biopsies that afternoon.  Dr called me at 8 the next morning (Fri) with the path. report that was exactly what we expected - IBC.  Mon, I saw surgeon, Wed the rads Dr and Thurs, chemo Dr.  Lots of scans, tests, port implant, etc and 18 days after DX I started neoadjuvant (before surgery) chemo.

Neoaduvant chemo has long been the standard for IBC as it does not form 'lumps' but in 'nests' or 'bands', to get it to form a 'lump' so surgeon can get it all. It is becoming more 'popular' with other types of BC to shrink it.  For some of us, chemo can be done both neoaduvant and adjuvant before rads - I did 4 DD A/C neoadjuvant and 12 weekly Taxol.  (A/C was easy - Taxol was NASTY but it's different for others.)

Should you have a Will? - OF COURSE!  WE should all have wills no matter the age or health.  I also have Living Wills on file at several places.

"Stats" - I dont put any 'faith' in them.   The 'stats' cover everyone with a particular DX.  We are each so unique and there is so much that goes into how we each handle any issues.  I went into IBC basically very healthy - osteo arthritis in upper back (probably from all the sports injuries over many years) and ostoepenia (huge family history).  I now have minor hypothyroid and now osteoporosis - would have happened anyway with my ancestery.

Ask lots of questions - make sure your Dr explains everytbing in a way that you  can understand.  Take a notepad or better yet a tape recorder to all appts so you can review what was said later.  Get copies of ALL tests/scan/reports/ everything  (even routine blood work) and keep them in a file just in case you need them.  You'll get a lot - I have 'tubs' of paperwork.  Do not expect to have the same reactions to anything that someone else has had - you might have similar and you might not - we are each SO unique so there is no "One Size Fits All".  Let your family/friends help you in ways YOU need - not what they 'need'.  If you need something ask.

You have to  be fighter to have made it to 70 yrs young - so this is just anohter battle that your life has prepared you for.  Winyan - The Power Within