Well hell, that wasn't good news

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RosesToeses
RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I hate to share bad news, and especially bad cancer news on a board of cancer survivors, but I also feel like I need to follow up on the post I wrote in another thread about having a bone scan coming up.  Maybe if you're having a hard time dealing with prognosis and worry and things like that right now, you can just skip this post and come back to it later if you want to.  

Turns out my bone scan lit up and (after a snowstorm reschedule) I had a PET-CT and my onc tells me it looks like I have mets in my pelvis.  They're scheduling a bone biopsy, so I guess it's not a sure thing until then, but my onc seemed to feel it was very unlikely to be anything but mets, given the PET results and the history.

She tells me the good news is that my organs look clear, so that's the best sort of mets to have, but clearly mets are still not the best news to get.  

It's so strange, on the one hand I've been worrying about this for so long, especially since I started developing pain in my hip, that it almost feels good not to worry about it, if that makes any sense at all.  And on the other hand, it kind of ticks me off--I got mammograms, I keep healthy habits, eat berries and cruciferous veggies, take my tamoxifen like a champ--so this complete failure of cause and effect working the way I want it to makes me angry.  Useless to be angry, I know, but sometimes it feels good anyway.

I would appreciate any prayers and good healing thoughts anyone wants to send my way.  And I'm absolutely wishing you all continued good health and no more cancer ever!

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited February 2014

    Oh geez, we are sending you gentle cyber hugs RosesToeses. You are in the right place to vent, so never hesitate to let us know what is going on, positive or negative. Be ticked off, but know that you'll get through this too. You've got amazing women here to guide and support you!

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    Thanks, Mods, I really appreciate your kind words.  

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  • ziggypop
    ziggypop Member Posts: 1,071
    edited February 2014

    Oh roses, I am so very sorry. My prayers and best healing thoughts are flying through the air in your direction right now and they will keep on coming. I know that many of the women who are stage four will be here soon, and they can help in ways that the rest of us just probably can't - since they can speak from their own experience, but know please that we are all here for you. So, so many hugs. 

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  • Elizabeth1959
    Elizabeth1959 Member Posts: 346
    edited February 2014

    Roses

    I am so sorry.  I'm glad your organs are clear.  I'm glad you let us know the results of the PET   We are all aware that we are one pain, lab test or imaging study away from stage 4.  Breast cancer is a beast. It seems so unfair that painful surgery, chemo, rads, tamoxifen, healthy diet, exercise, positive thoughts etc can't keep the monster away. 

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  • AmyQ
    AmyQ Member Posts: 2,182
    edited February 2014

    RosesToeses, 

    I'm sorry it appears you have bone mets.  For me, getting that dx was almost worse than the BC dx but I have come to accept it and realize it can always be worse.  I had a rather significant lesion on my pelvis which they biopsied to confirm. Other than sticking my bare bottom out there for the world to see, it wasn't bad.  At one point I was sure the technician and doctor were playing tic tac toe on my arse with all their X's & O's.  Prayers and good wishes being sent your way from the snowy tundra I live in. 

    Amy

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    Thanks so much for the warm words, thoughts, prayers.  I'm sure in time, and as the next steps get determined, and hopefully as something starts working right, I'll adjust and get used to this, but I guess I'm not really there yet.  

    Amy, I had sort of imagined I'd be knocked out--wide awake doesn't sound like a very good idea at all!

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  • hopefour
    hopefour Member Posts: 459
    edited February 2014

    I was just heading to bed and stopped in..glad I did!! You've got my prayers and hugs!! It must be hard to hear the mets word, but yet to know had to be a relief too as you said. As I have said before, MD Anderson says lots live 10 or more years with bone mets..very treatable!!  And during those 10 plus years they'll come out with more treatments if not the cure!! I am hoping your back to NED soon!!! Stay faithful to your healthy life style as I truly believe it will still serve you well. You are forever a stage III sister so keep coming back here and thank you for letting us know!!

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited February 2014

    rosestoeses,

    I'm 2 1/2 years out from my bone met (yup, just one) dx. I was awake but happily drugged for my bone biopsy. A lovely IV cocktail of versed and a pain killer made me not care in the least about what was going on. A local anesthesia was used at the site as well. Versed is also great because it has some amnesiac properties. Hoping you don't have bone mets, but if you do, there is lots of hope. 

    Caryn

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  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited February 2014

    For sure, Prayers and good vibes coming your way!  Keep us posted!

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  • Leah_S
    Leah_S Member Posts: 8,458
    edited February 2014

    Roses, I'm sorry to hear about this. I hope a tx plan comes up that's easy to tolerate but hard on the cancer.

    Ask for any help you need. If we can give technical advice we will, and if it's love and support you need you know you have it.

    Leah

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  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited February 2014

    Hi RosesToeses.....so sorry to hear that you are more than likely going to be joining the bone metster sisters.  Come on over to the Bone Mets thread when you are ready as there is a great deal of info and a great bunch of girls.

    Chin up, bone mets are probably the easiest mets to deal with as they don't effect the bodies processes.  I am almost five years up (come May) and have been NED for the last three.  Life goes on with a few adjustments but it definitely goes on.

    Love n hugs.    Chrissy

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited February 2014

    RT, this has made my heart sink...I am so sorry.  Prayers have gone up and I hope you feel the healing, strength and peace I asked for.  I am happy that it's not as bad as it could be.  Stay strong and in touch with us.  Sending big hugs. 

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    Roses, i am sorry to hear this about you. i wish our cells would just behave! i just had a bone scan, too, yesterday, and it looked to me like my pelvis lit up too. i guess they will call me if its anything. i am anxious, too, cause once they did the whole me, then they went back and did two areas, more closely, and slower. freaked me out a little, especially since the man who did it, wished me good luck, as he helped me off of the table.... thing is, i have been telling them about pains for over a year... and i am just not ready to be going back and forth for treatments again, anytime soon. my life was just barely taking a good shape again. ok i wont worry too much ahead of time, but i am just sick of it all. thanks for posting, roses, and i will be thinking the very best for you.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2014

    Oh, Rose,  This is so upsetting, especially you've been doing everything you are supposed to do to keep this beast from progressing!  Were you having the bone scan specifically due to pain?  or was it a routine bone scan follow up?

    Oceana

    marvelous-nicole-rodriguez.jpg (180×119)

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  • MusicLover
    MusicLover Member Posts: 4,225
    edited February 2014

    Roses, I love your name, "Singing in the Rain" fan?  I love that movie!!!  Prayers and healing thoughts are being sent your way, absolutely!   (I hate this disease!!! there should be a cure already, it sucks!!!)

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  • Momof2inME
    Momof2inME Member Posts: 683
    edited February 2014

    So sorry Roses. Thoughts and prayers going out for you.

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited February 2014

    Roses, I am so sorry. That seriously sucks. Don't feel bad about posting. We are here for the good, the bad and the ugly. Let us know how it goes.

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  • katyand4
    katyand4 Member Posts: 171
    edited February 2014

    Roses, sending good thoughts and prayers your way.  

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  • peacestrength
    peacestrength Member Posts: 690
    edited February 2014

    Rosestoeses - much love to you!   

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  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited February 2014

    So, so sorry you got this news.

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited February 2014

    RosesToeses,  Very warm healing vibes being sent out to you today.  

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  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited February 2014

    RosesToeses...hugs, prayers and love coming your way.  I'm sorry.

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited February 2014

    Roses, I'm so sorry for this news.  Hit it hard and zap that stuff.  It can be done!

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  • lkc
    lkc Member Posts: 1,203
    edited February 2014

    Hi RT. I am sorry to hear this. Bone Mets in manageable. I have  a friend who was dxed the same time as me w BM and she's doing well.

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    I don't really know how to say how touched I am by the support.  It really means a lot to me and I thank you.  Sometimes I'm doing ok and sometimes not so much.

    Also truly appreciate that I don't need to explain what it all means to you here (if I have to tell one more relative that no, the doctors don't actually think I somehow developed bone cancer a year after finishing dealing with breast cancer....)

    Biopsy is scheduled for this coming week (glad to hear there will be drugs involved during it, I have my pre-op on Monday so I guess I'll know all about it then) and I should have some final word and a plan sometime the week after.

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    prayers and chants and fingers crossed for you, Rosestoeses, especially for no pain for you.

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  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited February 2014

    Roses, ack! I know what you mean about well-meaning relatives and acquaintances. Try to weed out the really clueless ones and see if you can find 1 or 2 who can actually offer some moral support.

    I am often a bit taken aback by how many people do not really understand what mets are.

    Let us know how the biopsy goes. Make sure they dope you up "good." ;)

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  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited February 2014

    Good luck I will be thinking of you . Xx

    Alison

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    Thank you, Kathy, Momine, Alison.  Much appreciated.

    And MusicLover, I forgot to answer above--I love old musicals and old movies, but I actually grabbed "RosesToeses" from the Mother Goose book from when I was a kid in honor of my daughter who, as a baby, had them most delicious little toeses :) 

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  • RosesToeses
    RosesToeses Member Posts: 721
    edited February 2014

    And, kathec, I am so seriously distracted, I also forgot to follow up about your bone scan--how's that going?  Any good news from the follow-up?  My impression is that the bone scan can rule out cancer but not rule in, so I'm praying for you and good news.

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