Why was I stronger DURING treatment than I am now?

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited February 2014

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  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited February 2014

    and hugs, Timbuktu. Hope Anderson agrees with Sloan! (((Hugs)))) The thumbs up sign is with the smiley faces. Just click on it.

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  • mrenee68
    mrenee68 Member Posts: 383
    edited February 2014

    Timbuktu that is wonderful news! I hope your Drs can come up with the same results and get you on the road to recovery. The stars are aligning for you! Take care.

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  • Timbuktu
    Timbuktu Member Posts: 1,906
    edited February 2014

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  • wintersocks
    wintersocks Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2014

    Tim, 

    I have been looking out for you, and I am so pleased you got the best result possible. However, I think you are very wise to get a second opinion  and I'm just thinking that knowing what I know now (for example my axilla node was 'up' in 2006 on ultrasound (right side). I was never given a proper explanation why. Roll on 2012 and I have bc on that very same side. 

    much love to you and hello to all others!

    xx

      

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  • Timbuktu
    Timbuktu Member Posts: 1,906
    edited February 2014

    My husband found, on the MD Anderson website, a system that they have for second opinions.  I have to call them tomorrow but it sounds as though you don't have to go there.  They just look over your information.  They say that they change 25% of all diagnoses.

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited February 2014

    sounds like a fantastic DH, I hope you get quick responses.

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  • julieho
    julieho Member Posts: 222
    edited February 2014

    Just wanted to wish all you wonderful women a Happy Valentine's Day.  

    I truly feel the LOVE here and wanted you all to know that and know that I am sending it back to all of you.

    xoxoxo's

    Julieho

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  • Timbuktu
    Timbuktu Member Posts: 1,906
    edited February 2014

    Same here Julie.

    BTW, in spite of the fact that there is a piece of the website that disagrees, I spoke to Anderson and they do require that you go down there yourself for a second opinion.  

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  • Rabbit43
    Rabbit43 Member Posts: 152
    edited February 2014

    Hello everyone. My 85 year old mom has been in the hospital since Tuesday. She was losing a lot of blood, they did some tests and she has colon cancer. I hate this fricking disease. I'm so, so sad. She, on the other hand, is being a warrior just like we were when we needed to be. 

    Hope everyone is doing ok. Tim...hope you're healing well in every way. 

    Rabbit

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  • lisa2012
    lisa2012 Member Posts: 652
    edited February 2014

    Sheesh! Timbuktu, it's good to stay connected, we've all been through a lot and will continue to support each other. Hugs!

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  • Timbuktu
    Timbuktu Member Posts: 1,906
    edited February 2014

    So sorry Rabbit.  Sometimes it's harder to watch someone we love than to be sick ourselves.  I'll pray for her!

    I just got back from celebrating my granddaughter's 9th birthday.  Only 2 weeks since the surgery and the same bumps in the road that caused such pain a few days ago were painless today.  Miracles happen.  Healing happens.  

    I just told my daughter, 23, what they found in me.  She just took it in stride...seemingly.  I did put the best face possible on it.

    Not an easy thing to do!

    Be well everyone!

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  • Spookiesmom
    Spookiesmom Member Posts: 9,568
    edited February 2014

    Awwww Rabbit, I'm sorry to hear that. Will keep you in my thoughts. 

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  • Timbuktu
    Timbuktu Member Posts: 1,906
    edited February 2014

    winter, what does it mean that the node was "up"?

    I don't understand the purpose of ultrasound when it seems that they don't mean much.

    One dr told me that he himself discovered two cancers in two women who had perfectly normal ultrasounds.

    I went through a bunch and as far as I can tell they were a waste of time.

    Fran Dresher too, actually, had ultrasound after ultrasound that were perfectly normal and all the while she had a cancer growing in her.

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  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited February 2014

    Rabbit, so sorry about your mom. My parents are 87 and I hate the thought of losing them. They have both had cancer. My husband gave me a necklace I wanted for Valentine's Day. It is stainless steel clamshells. A tree is engraved on the outside and inside it says F$CK Cancer only without the $. That's how I feel. 

    Wishing strength and peace to you ladies.

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  • Holeinone
    Holeinone Member Posts: 2,478
    edited February 2014

    Jeannie,     Sounds like your husband came up with a special, perfect gift.

    Rabbit, thinking of you, sending positive wishes...your mom sounds tough, keep us posted on her status.

    I am in shock, that it is Feb.15. I am still struggling in the nightmare of chemo & then rads, now it's over, and I feel like I am somehow stuck. Not sure if I asked the right ?, did they do there job ?  It's a flipping uncertainty. I am shell shocked, I wish I could start over, with what I know now..sound familiar? 

    Little rant & whine....hope all has a good weekend..

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  • cfdr
    cfdr Member Posts: 549
    edited February 2014

    Rabbit, so sorry to hear about your Mom. 

    Jeannie, sounds like a lovely necklace! I love any jewelry based on sea shells. 

    Holeinone, it is tough when the treatments end. I couldn't wait for it to be over, but walking to the car after my last chemo I started crying. I felt like the doctors had done everything they could, and now it was all up to me...and the cancer. It felt like a lot of responsibility that I still don't quite know how to handle.

    I had a minor cold the last few days. The kind any normal person would have just worked through. I did any work that was on deadline but otherwise mostly just napped or laid on the sofa reading a novel. I just don't have it in my anymore to be stoic when I don't feel well. I guess that's what's meant by "listening to your body". My body said "lie down" and I did so like a good dog. :-)

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  • Tomboy
    Tomboy Member Posts: 3,945
    edited February 2014

    perfect solution, cfdr! i think i will join you, & i don't even have a cold! hope you feel better soon, but please enjoy your "down time"!!

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  • lisa2012
    lisa2012 Member Posts: 652
    edited February 2014

    I get it. Hugs and indulge youself if you can.

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  • Purl51
    Purl51 Member Posts: 190
    edited February 2014

    cfdr:  Good dog?  I say cozy little cuddle pup!  Don't forget the "stay" command as well.

    Rabbit:  In my prayers you are, along with your mom.

    Tim:  ((hello))

    All: Blessings to you

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  • wintersocks
    wintersocks Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2014

    Timbuktu,

    When I had an ultrasound on my right breast some 7 maybe 8 years ago now, I was told by the woman who was doing in that my node was 'up' I took that to mean it was swollen or something not right about it. I asked why she said I'd probably had some kind of infection (although I did not appear unwell). She told me not to worry about it, I was discharged.

    I didn't. 6 years or so later I have a massive tumour in that breast . I cannot think that the 2 were not connected. I wish I had pursued this, but I didn't.   

    I cannot decide whether to run to the shop to get a big bag of chocolate buttons!! - should I?   

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  • Jeannie57
    Jeannie57 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited February 2014

    Run, Winter, Run!!! I am joining you from afar.

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  • Timbuktu
    Timbuktu Member Posts: 1,906
    edited February 2014

    What are chocolate buttons?

    I had a similar experience.  I went to the gyne for a routine exam in 2009.  She asksd if anything was abnormal?  I said "No, I just have that fibroadenoma in my left breast."  She looked at the record and said "you mean your right breast>"  I said "No, it's in the left, right here".  She looked and saw nothing and nothing turned up on any tests.  

    Fast forward 2 years.  Routine check up.  I say "I have that fibroadenoma in my left breast".  She said "you mean your right".  I laughed and said, "We had this exact conversation 2 years ago.  It's in my left, see."  This time she did see.  And did a biopsy.  And it was the cancer.  Everyone was amazed by how similar it felt to the fibroadenoma in the RIGHT breast.  Same position.  Same size and feel.  But cancer.  

    Yes, I wish I had pressed her and stood up for what I knew was there rather than trusted her.  Of course I WANTED to believe her, and there's the rub.  You really have to pursue these things in spite of wishful thinking!  The power of positive thinking?  No good I say!  Pay attention to your fears!

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  • wintersocks
    wintersocks Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2014

    Timbuktu, 

    I absolutely agree with what you say, to pursue things. Funny, thing is I usually do. but on this occasion fatefully I didn't. I too had a fibro in the breast that got cancer.

    buttons are these: http://www.cadbury.co.uk/products/Giant-Buttons-2...  (Mods might remove this, as advertising?). Note they are GIANT buttons, I had 2 bags in the same day last week!!

    Jeannie57  I did not succumb! The shops are closed now, so that's that.

    I have a routine mammo this week, same day as dx 2 years ago to the day.  

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  • lisa2012
    lisa2012 Member Posts: 652
    edited February 2014

    I;m still confused about "follow-up." I had a BMX. They do a blood test every 6 mos. No mammograms can be done, or utrasounds. An MRI in like 3 yrs to see how implant is doing.

    So other than a bump popping up in armpit or along scar, or other distant mets "symptoms" how would I know if I have a recurrence?

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  • wintersocks
    wintersocks Member Posts: 922
    edited February 2014

    lisa2012

    Essentially, you wouldn't know unless a persistent 'symptom' alerted you to visit your team. Or unless the team identified anything that might need further investigation, and I guess scans are used too routinely.  I would not have a routine scan (MRI/CAT) unless symptomatic.  I know some docs go by 'tumour markers' that I think are present in the blood, but some think they are an unreliable tool. My team does not use this test.  

    I was told that if pain/a symptom was there for 2 weeks, it would need to be investigated. I have presented a couple of times with stuff, but the medics seemed unconcerned, although I did get a bone scan once.  

    I hope you are doing ok.  

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  • cfdr
    cfdr Member Posts: 549
    edited February 2014

    Even after I was diagnosed, I could not feel the 1.1cm lump in my breast. And I even knew where it was! But now I go nuts doing a self-exam because all the scar tissue around my lumpectomy and lymph scars feels like a bump. And under the fat of the breast, I can feel the muscle, which can feel sorta lumpy if you rub it crosswise. I figure if any of my phantom lumps get bigger, I'll call the doc...otherwise I look at my every-six-months checkup as a sanity check as well as a breast exam.

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  • Rockym
    Rockym Member Posts: 1,261
    edited February 2014

    Rabbit, so sorry to hear about your mom.  Mine is 82 and lives one state over.  I have no immediate family as my father passed a while back and my brother also in 1989.  What really sucks is that we all had to wrestle with the idea of our mortality (probably for the first time ever) and now we have to go there again with a known reality.  Older people pass on at some point.  I have so many mixed feelings when it comes to my mother's death.  We weren't very close from about my age of 12 to 22 and then we got to be friends again.  I like her and she can be fun, but she is my mom and we all know how the mother/daughter deal can be.

    Also, even though I handled BC, treatments, decisions, etc.  handling my mom's estate is a bit scary.  It's a long story and of course I will be the only surviving relative, but it just seems like an enormous undertaking.  The other thing is that I do talk with her everyday and she is the only person I can just pick up the phone and call and she is always there.  That will be hard to lose.  Okay, now I'm rambling on.  I hope your mom is doing better soon.

    Tim, I've read a bit about what your dealing with and words can't describe.  I am so sorry you now have another effing cancer to deal with.  I think I read one of the hospitals wants a personal visit?  Did you try Johns Hopkins?  With BC, I was able to send them my slides and get a 2nd on my BC path report.  It was more detailed then my first, but it said the same thing and off to chemo I went.

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  • Janet_M
    Janet_M Member Posts: 1,068
    edited February 2014

    Rabbit - I am so sorry to hear about your mom. And I'm sorry for another challenge that you and your family have to go through. I'm sending her all my cleanest, purest, and strongest energy. 

    I hate cancer too.

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  • Timbuktu
    Timbuktu Member Posts: 1,906
    edited February 2014

    rabbit, that first year check up I was so out of my mind nervous!  I kept squeezing my breast and lo and behold there was a huge lump, out of nowhere!  I moved up my mammo and it was totally normal!  The dr asked me to show her where the lump was.  I squeezed my breast and "showed" her.  She said "that's your breast!"  lol  She showed me how to pat my breast with the flat of my hand, not squeeze it.  Yes, difficult to stay sane when panic sets in!

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