Survival?

Abby I was 34 years old when I was diagnosed with a Stage 1 cancer.  I went 19 years cancer free and had a local recurrence last year, also a Stage 1 (even smaller than the first time).  I STILL have a good prognosis (at 54, I still consider myself relatively young). 

I know how scary it is to be diagnosed at such a young age, but you WILL get through chemo and go back to your life.  Trust me. PM if you would like to talk more.  Joan

First, one of the main reasons our survival rates are worse is because our cancers are usually diagnosed at a later stage (due to misdiagnosis, the "your too young for breast cancer" mentality). Second, it is true that the our cancers do tend to be more aggressive in nature (Grade 3, her2+), but not all of them are and even so, surgery and chemicals are very effective means of treatment (i.e. even with aggressive features in the cancer, it is never a hopeless situation). Lastly, younger women are known to have a much harder go of breast cancer psycho-socially. Cancer is a major shock for us at this point in our lives, and the impact we feel from it is often extremely major due to the fact that we are still early on in our relationships, careers, finances and adult identity, and breast cancer can throw all this out of wack in a serious way.  

I am not going to tell you that you will "get back to normal in a few months" as you have written, but I do understand how you feel. Unfortunately, there is no getting around it- cancer is a big deal and I think the impact on our lives is often both immediate and delayed. My advice is dont rush yourself to get over it and on with things (it can just makes it harder..) and do whatever it takes to find other young adults with cancer to hang with. And remember- cancer isnt going to change your personality, but it might change your interests and values and this may not necessarily be for the worse, ok thats all of my wisdom for now I was diagnosed almost a year ago at age 32.

Hi Joan

 Im on chemo now after 12 years clear TN also. Came back in same breast.  When you were chemo does Tumor markers get wacky?  I had also scans after diagnosis they were clear.  During treatment did they scan you alot?   Did your doc feel Cytoxin /Taxotere is strong enough?  How many did you get?

Im one of the patients who ask about my bloods and exact number .Alot of docs dont tell the patients the number cause it causes unecessary worry.  So your doc would just all was fine.  No scans?? Good for you no stress. The number flucutuate with chemo.

 I just had Pet, MRI of complete spine (7 hours) , MRI of both Breast, Bone scan, Cat scan of upper thorax( all with contrast) just 60 days ago. yes all clear and bone scan again and cat scan. Im having 4 rounds of the T/C maybe she will give me 2 more. Lets see.

Oh is this a primary or local recurrence?   BTW I also had CMF (chemo)12 years ago.

I dont blame you.  Why dont they give you so all these scans?  Did they do it thru treatment?  Guess maybe I have a primary.

Hi Joan



Now they tell me it's a new primary and being treated as. She said what's the difference anyway. That's what I'd like to know. So many women mention it so much. Recurrence and primary all the time. My doc is getting on my nerve. Said we ask to many questions and has to spend too much time with me when she has others that are truly sucker. Once in order to shut me up she said if your not happy find another doc. To this date she has yet answered all my questions. Always in a rush. Ugggggg

I was diagnosed in last May (2012), and holy cow I have had some major issues with Survival Rates.  I just turned 34.  I am Stage IV. In a matter of less than one month, I had BC, then I had, IDC, then in my Lymph Nodes and then found out it was in my bones (spine and ribs).  I have been on the biggest emotional roller coaster (and the steriods for my chemo make the ups & downs even worse).  My world became dark and hopeless.

The book I read said that I had a 5 - 20% five year survival rate.  I didn't know if I was going to even make the year.  I was devastated. I watched my son "graduate" kindergarden and seriously wondered if I'd ever see him finish a school year again.  I wrote my will and spent a lot of time crying with my family.  I told my parents and husband that I knew it wasn't fair, I was supposed to out live them, but the odds were that I wouldn't'.  My doctors wouldn't give me a time line, so I felt like I had no time left.

I completed my 4 rounds of Chemo - TPC, and then had my scans redone.  You can not imagine the relief, when my doc's said that my bones were healing.  They have not used the words remission, or shrinking, or anything that gives me too much hope, but "healing" has changed my way of thinking.  I am going to do another 4 rounds to "heal" some more. 

I am sitting in the chemo chair right now - Round 6!  I hate putting myself through the torture which it causes, but now I think to myself, it's worth it.  I think that every round means more time with my family.  I can see the light now.  I don't feel like I am dying anymore.  I feel like after Round 8 - I can start a normal life again.  I'll still live with Cancer, but it won't be my whole world anymore.  I think that now, I've got some time back.  It's not so scary anymore. "Healing" means that maybe I can become a BC Survivor someday soon.  

I know that each person is unique and their diagnosis is unique.  I hope that you will find your own way of "Healing", so that you can see the light and the darkness that BC creates will begin to disapate. 

Oh my gosh I spent so many nights on Google freaking myself out when I first got diagnosed! One of the hardest nights was a page I came upon where a husband had these amazing, beautiful, heartbreaking photographs documenting his wife's journey through cancer, and I didn't realize at first that she had not survived. It was all of my fears realized in that moment- that this life I've been building and working on plans to continue learning and growing might not be as long as I thought before cancer. I was a wreck for days after that one. Because this isn't a normal narrative, cancer threatening to take half the years we'd previously anticipated without this major threat to strip this future we have no idea about anymore. 

It's normal to worry about the future. And it's normal to mourn the past. But I am learning to appreciate the gift that is being present now. I check out a lot, and am in my head all the time. But when I am fully attentive to what is going on in a moment, I am okay. I am where I need to be. Sometimes I need to remind myself a few times a day, and lately it's been a near impossibility not to worry about my upcoming results from my first scan since September brought news all things were stable. 

I learned a lot last year, as my friend and I helped each other through our cancer journeys. LaTrease had a very aggressive recurrence of a rare cancer, and our experiences were very different, but she and I could bond over those things that felt so lonely- like, few people understand what it's like to experience chemo in my friend group, so it was comforting to have a friend who got it, who'd been there, and who was there for me even as she was fighting her own battle. We spent time mediating, and a group of 4-6 friends would go over to visit and we would meditate, pray, send her reiki and loving energy as she got sicker. I can't really describe the experience of walking with someone through their end stages with cancer while I was just beginning it, but LaTrease gave me strength by showing us all how to live fully, laugh often, and love deeply, and how to put your own self aside for others in a way that was just so graceful, and raw. She was 38 when she passed, and it was humbling, to say the least. 

So maybe I have a different perspective, but I'm trying not to worry too much about what's going to happen in 5 years- I'll know when I get there! I had a lot of time to sit with myself, and reconcile my life. If this is it, I thought after diagnosis, I have had a full, wonderful life full of love, mistakes, adventure, travel, incredible friendships and community, excitement, heartbreak, education, humility...and I can honestly say I would be satisfied with this early experience...but I really don't think I'm done with the story yet. This is a formation into something new, something that asks of us, or rather, demands of us an inner strength unmatched by other challenges we may have experienced before. At least, that's what it's been for me. 

Am I scared? Oh course, terrified. When I see the fear in my lovers eyes that I might not be around for another 30 years, or I think of my nephew who's only 3, and whom I want to be there for as long as possible. There will always be things to be scared of. But I will never forget that we can always find ways to let the light in through the darkness. 

Hang in there. One moment at a time.