Perspective

Percy, I do understand. While I was terribly grateful to be alive and no longer so sick, having an 11 inch scar from my pubis to way above my navel, plus the scar on my breast of course makes me sad and I'm a fat old 52 year old. I used to have the prettiest torso & tiny waist. The incision even messed up my pretty little Innie belly button. You get past it, but yeah, I agree it sucks.

I think we are all way too hard on ourselves.  Melissa, describing yourself as a fat old 52 year old, and all I see is a gorgeous face.  Percy, I PM'd you, but I will reiterate here that we need to remind ourselves and others of our beautiful qualities.  AND those guys are not so perfect either!  I totally understand the trauma though of us having to be "disfigured" by our treatment.  BC treatment still seems so barbaric, despite all the $$$ for research.  Progress seems so painfully slow.  And having to have mastectomies and radiation, etc. for dcis that is supposed to be non life threatening is also so confusing.  I have been so fortunate in that my son and husband love that I have decided to not have reconstruction.  My son even mentioned that if I had another mx then I could go topless with them on the beach.  I too feel very fortunate to have such a positive prognosis, but have become very aware of the devastation of breast cancer on so many woman, particularly, the younger women.  And on their families.  So beautiful women, grieve the loss of your previous bodies (that is healthy) and then try to accept your new normal and all the wonderful qualities that you still possess and have to offer those fortunate enough to know you.  

It ticks me off royally that I had to have a MX for an such an early stage breast cancer.  At the same time, I am extremely grateful that my cancer was caught at such an early stage.  The way I see it, having both those thoughts at the same time isn't contradictory, it's just human.

There is nothing wrong with being frustrated with what we've gone through, or angry about how it has changed us (physically or emotionally), but it's also important to have perspective and to recognize that in the scheme of things, in the breast cancer world, we got off at lot easier than most.

I don't think anybody needs to judge themselves for grieving the loss or change to our breasts. No matter who we are or what we are going through, there will always be someone somewhere who is going through much worse than we are - that doesn't mean that our own concerns are trivial - they just are what they are. But, yes, sometimes if I start feeling sorry for myself - it just takes reading through a few of these threads and considering what others have and are dealing with to as you say - put things in perspective. 

As far as the 'mans' penis? When I went to rads, there were a lot more men than women there, one of the radiologist techs told me that the pain for a guy getting rads for prostate cancer is a hell of a lot worse than for a woman getting it for breast cancer. From the little I know of prostate cancer, it's no picnic.