Tired of cancer

heathergirl · November 2009

I finished RT in March 2007 and 2 weeks later, my 75 year old dad was dx with Stage 3 colon cancer (which then became Stage 4 when met to liver). I have spent the last 2.5 years caring for him and getting him to a point where he is living and doing well. But seeing dad go through cancer was 100x harder than going through it myself.

After Chemo and RT, I wanted to put cancer behind me and focus on dad. I did not start Tamoxifen until 8/2007. My first post lumpectomy follow up mammo was 10/2009! And the goomers found some silly suspicious microcalcification cluster in the opposite breast!

I have had a bad knee since before my cancer dx in 2006. I finally can get the knee fixed since dad is better. But now they want me to have a stereo blaa blaa biopsy asap.

I have knee surgery scheduled in 12/2009 and am trying to convince my oncologist that I can wait until next year when I have another mammo and then we can see if these clusters are just me drinking too much caffeine.

Problem is that he is one of the best oncologists in the country and so I put my argument out to him in fax letter and then wait a day and say - hey thanks for agreeing with me. I did not give him time to answer - because I know what the advise will be.

But you know - there hits a time when your family has had enough of cancer. And I just keep telling myself that a new cancer in the opposite breast would be crazy unusual. I would understand a recurrence in same breast.

First my mom took care of me with cancer and then dad with cancer. I just want to have a break and I can live with blissful ignorance.

I also read on the internet that it can YEARS before clusters of microcalcifications ever become serious (IF they ever do).

Has anyone ever put off biopsies post cancer dx and had it be okay? I want some cancer free time. I want my knee to get fixed so I can run and bike and live.

Sorry to go on and on - I am just tired of cancer,

ElaineD · November 2009

You've had some tough times, Jodi, and I'm sure we can all relate to your desire to have some cancer free time in your life. But, if there is the smallest chance that you may have additional problems, please get them checked out-you know it makes sense! I would hate for you to ignore something at this stgae which could be treatable-and then you could genuinely reach a point where you could put it behind you. But, if you ignore a potential problem, until later, you could end up facing a much more insurmountable problem. I'm stage 1V (which is terminal, and I will need treatment for the rest of my life, until such time as the cancer kills me or the side effects from the constant chemo becomes too much to bear). You don't want to run the risk of ending up in this position, so please get any issues checked and dealt with asap. Good luck.

Mazy1959 · November 2009

Jodi,

I certainly understand being sick of cancer. But I would like to see you get that checked. What if you arent one who gets years before its anything to worry about? You will be alot sicker of cancer if it spreads. We all would like an ignorant break but thats not how we stay alive. Sorry if I sound harsh, I dont mean to, but having alot of cancer in your family and being sick of it is no excuse as far as I am concerned. If it's only in your breast, its crucial to get things taken care of before it goes elsewhere. My family has alot of it too and we are sick of it, but we still get things checked out. I wish you the best...Hugs, mazy

motheroffoursons · November 2009

I am going to go in a different direction here. I think that you should get the lump taken care of.

As far as the knee surgeries, that should not interfere with your decision. I have had two knee surgeries in the last five years for a torn meniscus in each knee. The last one was in October, and I was walking on the leg the same day. Used crutches for about 1-2 days. No physical therapy even. The great thing about it as that I received a handicapped parking sticker until after Christmas as my township gives a minimum of 3 months! Smile When I was in the waiting room at the orthpedic dr, I talked to a man who had a rebuilt knee. He stayed 4 days in the hospital and after a few weeks (not months) he was walking around quite well.

Furthermore, you will not be living in "blissful ignorance". For me it would be constant anxiety.

Please get it checked out now.

Bren-2007 · November 2009

Jodigirl .. hugs to you. What a wonderful daughter you are to care for your dad for so long.

I'm sick of cancer too. Little mini vacations of denial probably aren't a bad thing at all. There is lots of cancer in my family ... and sometimes I wish I could hide from it too.

Probably a good idea to get your biopsy ASAP and see what's going on. Doesn't mean you have to cancel your knee surgery. I find that it's easier to go into a little denial break AFTER I know what I'm dealing with.

Keeping you in my thoughts,

Bren

heathergirl · November 2009

Thanks for the strength. My knee surgery is scheduled in Chicago for 12-8. I will be right there in downtown Chicago recouping after the knee surgery. So I hope they can perform biopsy while I am in Chicago. (I live in NC to care for dad but "home" is Chicago). I guess its best to just start the new year with all the answers I need! Cancer sux.

Bren-2007 · November 2009

Jodi .. lots of gals here in NC. I think info is listed in the "Get Together" forum.

Sure hope you are able to get the biopsy while in Chicago!

Keep us posted,

Bren

Mazy1959 · November 2009

Jodi,

I hope the knee surgery goes well. Hopefully when you call to set up the biopsy they can schedule it around your knee surgery. Are you seeing doctors in Chicago or NC or both?

I am in Quincy, IL and I go to Blessing Cancer Center.

Cancer really does suck but you can do this. Hopefully your biopsy will be benign but if it isnt, many ladies are here to help you thru. Hugs, Mazy

Anonymous · November 2009

Jodi, I live in N.C.

What I wanted to say is yes, definitely get this checked out. If it is cancer it may be early enough that you wouldn't even need chemo. Wouldn't that be great! And, it may not be cancer and that would be greater!

I know exactly how you feel about getting that biopsy. But go ahead and bite the bullet. And come back when you do have it done and let us know.

I wanted to add that a very good friend of mine who was 62 when she had BOTH knees replaced is doing super. She was very active and didn't mind working hard to get back on her feet. Her doctor thought she was a good candidate to have both knees done at once. She is so happy. She can now walk her 5 mile walk if she wants. She never stopped Pilates (sp) or Yoga. And, the simplest thing...walking through Costco without hurting..is great for her.

TriciaK · November 2009

Jodi,

As early detection can make such a difference to treatment and prognosis I think you're wise to have the biopsy. If nothing else it will give you peace of mind going forward.

I can relate to the sick of cancer feelings too, I'm sorry you have this stress but good luck with the surgery and best wishes for benign results on the biopsy!

Tricia x

jenbal · November 2009

Just one more voice suggesting you get it checked out. I notice that your dx was HER 2+ -- these are the nasty, fast, aggressive cancers that don't take years to develop. They can go from nothing to 6cm in under a year. Also, with HER 2+ cancers, there's a higher than usual rate of new cancers in the opposite breast, sometimes with a different profile. Just get the biopsy and see where you are. Fingers crossed it's nothing!

heathergirl · January 2014

I cannot believe that I need you all again. I hate cancer. Since I was last on, my dad finished chemo for his colon cancer. The 5-FU destroyed dad's bones. He beat cancer. But died of the bone infection caused by 5-FU and bad orthopedic surgeries. He died 1-15-2010.

After dad's death, I have been daring cancer. I did not tell my new onc at Northwestern that the old onc at Duke told me it was okay to take traditional birth control pills. I hated every Tamoxifen pill I had to take. I have only had two mammograms since I finished RT in 2007. Each time, the mammogram was suspicious. I am scheduled to see onc again in Feb 2014. I emailed his NP and told her about the birth control pills. I need someone to tell me that the Feb 2014 appointment is important and not to blow it off. I can't believe cancer still scares me.

chrissyb · January 2014

Jodiegirl, we both know how important it is to keep an eye on things after a dx of cancer..........as much as we would all like to forget about it it's really not possible so put on those big girl panties and turn up on the day and get it over and done with.........do not blow it off!

Sending (((((((hugs))))))) and thoughts of strength.

Love n more hugs. Chrissy

heathergirl · January 2014

TY chrissy. Love and hugs to you too. Ignoring it doesn't make it go away. It feels good to be back in the group! Cheryl

maltomlin · January 2014

We all want to 'bury our head in the sand' and just get on with our lives........I know I've done it often enough (and still do)

I can relate to what you went through with your Dad.........I went through something very similar.......my Dad was dx with terminal cancer a year before I was dx..........neither he nor my mum knew he was terminal......and I found it very hard to cope with........he died 6 months later (enough said).........6 months after that I was dx.

After chemo etc I'd had enough of cancer.........had some symptoms & brushed them aside...... I did seek help from my great onc............and was all clear...I suppose what I'm saying is......it's easy to bury your head in the sand and just carry on......but unless you've had it checked out..then you'll always worry (and will imagine the worst scenario) and have it on your mind.........I'm not stage iv but I think I would rather know what's ahead than think about all the what if's. After all it could be nothing, as it was with me.

Take care

heathergirl · January 2014

Maltomlin - You do know what I feel inside. The only reason I even keep going is that as dad was dying he asked me to take care of my mom/his wife. I live with her now. I have to stay healthy for her if nothing else.

JulieMI · January 2014

Jodi,

I totally understand what you feel. I hate cancer so much I don't even want to say its name.

I am an only child. My mom, a non-smoker, died from lung cancer 11 years ago. My father survived appendix cancer when I was 10. Then 4.5 years ago my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer. I have been taking care of him since. Then my turn. I was diagnosed with BC in June 2012. So in such situation, my dad took care of me when I went through surgery and chemo. After my chemo, my dad's cancer started growing again. I hate to go to the cancer center! but I have to take my dad to his chemo every 3 weeks. Talk about this makes me want to scream.

I just pray my dad still have a few years left so I don't have to go through the heartache of losing him when I am still so freshly wounded by BC. Losing my mom half killed me. I don't want to be a orphan yet.

Enough about me.

Jodi, we have to face life head on. Go, do the check up. If you don't want to face yearly mammogram, then do like me, have the other breast removed. I am totally flat and comfortable with that. It's better to find out earlier for this beast.

Tired of cancer

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