Depression after Mastectomy

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  • Layla2525
    Layla2525 Member Posts: 827
    edited January 2014

    Hope everyone is feeling better. I was depressed and cried a lot. They gave me Valium at the hospital and somebody gave me some in Mexico but I saved it. I don't need it. I got rid of my fiancé and my son has been calling every day. I spent 2 hrs on the phone with my best friend who moved out of state. I am almost finished except for the tattoos, the drs never offered me any depression meds which I could have used but I am so happy with the nips and how everythg looks. I think I was really depressed for about the 2 yrs from diagnosis to now. I just let myself cry until I got I got a headache, red eyes and threw up.

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  • Sparkle2014
    Sparkle2014 Member Posts: 139
    edited November 2014

    with winter approaching and the holidays - when everyone around is so cheerful, kind of difficult to get in the spirit when you have  - SAD (seasonal depression), extreme anxiety and PTSD from Mastectomy and are single...  someone once said the BLUE mood and sadness can appear out of no where when you had been getting by so so

     

    anyone feeling like this with winter and the cold days approaching?  anyone thinking of starting a Zoloft or Lexapro???  I just would love to meet a few here for support as trying to start an antidepressant - I have been tearful, super anxious over my 2nd surgery and lift (which I just decided to postpone till spring) and exhausted - my diet is not great - I haven't been very hungry as been feeling anxious and depressed and sleeping but have no energy - Psychiatrist went to said I have major depression, suggested to go on Zoloft at 25 mg for week the up to 50 mg and check in with him

     

    do I just say - ok - give it a shot... it really isn't fun to be near me right now as I am gloomy..

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited November 2014

    I too had depression and anxiety after having been diagnosed with cancer and mastectomy felt better after DIEP surgery. I am tired of feeling like I have a disease. I wish I could erase it from my mind totally.

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  • Sparkle2014
    Sparkle2014 Member Posts: 139
    edited November 2014

    yesmeow - I wish I could just turn off the whole experience,,,  live my life without the thought of it entering!  I do sit and try to meditate and speak affirmations and be thankful etc...  but it only helps for a bit...  tired, and tired of being so tired!  I have to look into diet changes and adding super greens supplements and flaxseed oil and omega oils....  and PROTEIN - I know the diet is key to feeling energized, I have lots of work to get to that point,,,  anyways can't blame myself if feel blue - been strong most days but some days feel need to cry and get it out

     


     

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  • LAstar
    LAstar Member Posts: 1,574
    edited November 2014

    I had severe mood swings for almost a year after my MX. I think the body is creating more hormones that we can accommodate when our breasts are gone! Deep sadness or rage would come from nowhere. I felt for my family having to deal with me. It was hard to go through it for all of us. Exercise -- a good sweat especially -- really helped. I'm no fitness queen but getting a half-hour of cardio every couple of days really helped my mood, especially during the long rainy winter here in Oregon. It was really frustrating when I was still healing from surgery and couldn't do much. I didn't take any meds but would have considered it if I started feeling any worse. If it gets you out of bed and out enjoying your life, it can't be a bad thing.

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  • Sparkle2014
    Sparkle2014 Member Posts: 139
    edited November 2014

    well today the good news is that it seemed knowing I actually postponed 2nd surgery (exchange and lift) after getting so super anxious and nervous about rushing into it at beginning of the COLD windy winter here,,,  I feel a weight lifted - the MX had to be done - there was no option to WAIT - and I was actually stronger then - I also had NEVER had any major surgery so had no idea what that would be like - now that I have had major surgery - I now have a big fear factor! 

    the .25 mg Xanax at night is helping me actually get some good rest - I think the sleep getting from a week taking that is better sleep then I was having on Zoloft 25 mg so I may just stick with it

     

    thanks for allowing me to vent

     

    I also am TRYING to make a few fun plans with friends - coffee dates and GNO dinners and getting excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas and my guy friend - I adore - he has been very supportive, don't know how I could have made it through all this without his words of encouragement, and my Sister, and my Aunt - and my folks,,  I let them all know this weekend that I was feeling very shaky and emotional as when you dip that low, best not hide it and best to have close people keeping watch to make sure you're ok ... 

    I firmly believe not having support can cause one to take a nose dive and be very hard to pick up when feel like that and feel alone or afraid to admit it..

    and news lately - all so many people killing themselves so best to reach out for help when feel really beside yourself or fragile...

     

    I will be ok,,  I know - I hit a rough patch by weeks of nerves,, 

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited November 2014

    Today was a good day it cleared up and I was able to get outside in the sun. Northwest winters can be gloomy.

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  • Debbie147030
    Debbie147030 Member Posts: 2
    edited November 2014

    I just want to thank everyone for the encouragement I found on this board. Have been dealing with depression for about a week. My PCP suggested that I might be depressed when I talked w him about fatigue. Things are better today. Am trying to get more exercise. Have decided to ask for meds for the depression if it doesn't go away or does go away and comes back.

    My surgery was 10-8-2014. I feel that some of this is the fatigue from surgery.

    Comments please.

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited November 2014

    Debbie-

    Welcome to BCO, we're so glad you've found our community! We hope you're finding the support you need to get through your recovery, we know how difficult it can be. We agree that if your depression doesn't clear up or gets worse soon, talking to your doctor about finding a medication to help you through it is a good idea. As you can tell from the posts in this thread, depression following diagnosis or treatment is fairly common, and you're definitely not alone! Please keep posting, we're thinking of you!

    The Mods

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  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited November 2014

    Hello Debbie, I am so sorry you've had to join us here, but just wanted to say Hi, and Welcome!

    Don't be hard on yourself, you have been through so much and it is very early days for you. It is very normal to feel all kinds of different emotions, you've had your life turned upside down and it takes a while to accept all the changes. Everyone here understands what you're going through, so don't feel like you're alone. If you want to share what your surgery and Dx was, you will find others who have had a similar Dx and experience who will share their stories with you.

    Let us know how you are getting on

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  • crystalphm
    crystalphm Member Posts: 1,138
    edited November 2014

    Just checking in...welcome to our new members. I am 3 years out and I still get depression out of the clear blue. Ariom is right, your life and hormones are upside down, it is quite an adjustment. I think good days and bad days are the way it goes now.

    It helps to talk, and we are here.


     

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  • Debbie147030
    Debbie147030 Member Posts: 2
    edited November 2014

    Here I go again. I was better emotionally for about a week and today I am noticing the irritability that precedes a slide down to the pits. I am seeing my gynecologist this next and will discuss meds for this. I am taking ambien for sleeping problems and that will need to be considered.

    Physically I am now feeling the best I have since surgery. I am slowly learning that I cannot push myself. I need a good night's sleep and even a nap during the day if necessary. This keeps fatigue controlled. Fatigue is a big factor in my meltdowns.

    Trying to be patient with myself and remember that I am 73 soon to be 74 which may play into this as well. Prior to dx and surgery I was fine because I was able to see God's hand in all of this for me. I am very blessed that my cancer was discovered so early. It all happened in a flukey way that only God could have planned. My experience has been so easy compared to what others have had. I can only be grateful.

    I also know for myself that one of the ways to deal with depression is to do something for someone else. I have not been doing that much lately. But, we are having a student from the local University for dinner on Thanksgiving.

    Thanks for letting me vent.

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  • Bippy625
    Bippy625 Member Posts: 890
    edited December 2014

    hi all, i am gettin a bmx on 12/17....of course i want the cancer gone, but anticipate much depression after. I am already on meds so maybe that will help. I will be flat for maybe as long as a year before recon. That will be hard, as vain as it sounds. I have b cup so Its not that I showcase them, just will feel odd I guess. I do not know how it will be. I will use prosthetics...but i really admire the flat and proud gals.

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  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited December 2014

    Hello Bippy.

    Many of us alternate. We go flat sometimes and wear foobs at other times.  A lot depends on the outfit!  

    Hang in there, and keep us posted.

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  • Bippy625
    Bippy625 Member Posts: 890
    edited December 2014

    Thanks glennie! A few days more till bmx.....finding i just want cancer gone now!


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  • amygil81
    amygil81 Member Posts: 165
    edited December 2014

    Bippy, so sorry you had to join us, but welcome here. That's how I felt with my cancer dx's (breast twice, bone many years ago as a teen): just get it off me. Of course it was hard to wake up after surgery and adjust to my altered body, But I kept telling myself, "Your cancer is gone. Your cancer is gone." You can say that to yourself as often as you need to. Best of luck with your surgery.

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  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited December 2014


    Bippy, I love your location,,,, wondering where in FL you live?  Land of the weird could be so many places.

    Good luck on the 17th.   Report in when you are able.

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  • Sparkle2014
    Sparkle2014 Member Posts: 139
    edited December 2014

    Feeling RELIEVED that Christmas and most of the holidays are almost OVER - first holiday season since diagnosis and I honestly could NOT get into it - I TRIED - really I did, just couldn't embrace it - feeling pressure/anxiety that I SHOULD have but I just wasn't able to - I pretended I was fine for the family but it was a true effort... 

    I do plan to TRY Zoloft - I just NEED something to help me lift my mood - been taking Xanax to get through the past few weeks and to sleep and turn off the mental chatter of worry

     

    I had felt a couple definate Lumps in my Left natural breast - which in June when had MRI and Mammos & Ultrasound showed no signs cancer - but this LUMP i felt about 4 - 5 weeks ago FEELS new and feels hard like a kernel or pea - it very well could be NOTHING - could be a cyst - but of course when you have just had Breast Cancer - natural reaction is to say - ok now I have BC in my Left Breast!!!  Going Jan 10th to Breast Surgeon - I will show her and see if the images from May and June on left had any cyst present in that area.

     

    Anyone else just feel blah during the holidays???  love to hear from anyone feeling similar - the thing that bothered me the most is that my Oldest and dearest friends - a few of them who have kids and work FT but are relatively close by - 10 mins and 25 mins away - none even responded to me asking for us to make plans to go out for holiday dinner - I suggested a gathering for girls night out - anytime in December - NO one even mentioned it - that really threw me into a depressed mood - these are friends from 30+ yrs ago - I had Breast Cancer girls!!!  Hello - how about extending some caring my way,,,  It's like WTF - thanks for saying if there is ever anything I can do - let me know - well girls - going out to dinner and talking about regular things and catching up - that is WHAT I want - apparently they just don't really understand how important it is for FRIENDS to make time for you - - - so yes, that was the worst part - I had my family and cousins and Aunts but a Girls Night Out after the YEAR I have just had - that could have been something that may have lifted my mood - felt very brushed aside - I know that is COMMON after someone young gets diagnosed - it's unfortunate - it's like they now feel I have the plague!

     

    thanks (sorry for whining!)

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  • crystalphm
    crystalphm Member Posts: 1,138
    edited January 2015

    I am relieved the holidays and almost over too. Aside from my own breast cancer, my husband had cancer this past year, I feel war-torn from it all. And I did take Xanax for medical tests due to breast cancer, and finally Lexapro for panic attacks.

    The whole issue of friends is truly difficult. I think if I learned anything from cancer, it is how to be a better friend. I don't know why people get so distant. And then the crazy opposite happens where a friend presented me with a bag, no kidding, a bag, of breast cancer related gifts. A t shirt that said Thanks for the Mammaries". What? I don't have any mammaries and I am not happy or thankful. I put it all in the good will bag, maybe someone will want it. And I am not against pink stuff, but a bag full was too much.

    We are allowed to whine in a safe healthy caring place like right here. It helps us.

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  • Sparkle2014
    Sparkle2014 Member Posts: 139
    edited January 2015

    thanks Crystal, sorry about your year too - twice as difficult for you with your husband also having cancer,,,, Maybe having a new year ahead will bring some new hope and more peace in 2015 - I do enjoy the thought of a new year - and I do wish to FORGET most of 2014 as the majority of it was not that enjoyable,,,,  I wish it was - it could have been more enjoyable if the friends I have actually would have gone out of their way to TRY to actually follow through on getting together to have some laughs - yes cancer is eye opening - in my family - my Aunts and Mom and dad and sister go out of their way always to help others - my Mom used to go visit an old neighbor who went to assisted living to visit and bring her something special from the store - as an act of kindness - companionship for someone who was alone in her 80s,,,  My Dad used to go rake leaves and clean the yard for older neighbors who couldn't get things done themselves - for free - these people were my role models - I LOVE them dearly and love how fortunate I am to have them as parents - they are genuine they are hard working, kind and loving people - simple folk - I obviously need to find friends - new friends more similar vs the ones I have who seem so caught up in their own "what's in It for Me" agenda...  anyways a NEW YEAR, maybe some new friends and new interests for me to explore and make a priority so 2015 is happier year  - I hope you will also have a better 2015,  Thank you again,,,  going to try the Zoloft and try to stick with it for a while...  :)

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  • Mermaidmama
    Mermaidmama Member Posts: 1
    edited February 2016

    Hi, I'm new to this forum. So thankful I found it. It is 4 months out from a right masectomy. I was a single working mom before the surgery and my daughter left for college in China shortly after so I also got hit with heavy empty nest syndrome. Also loss of work. I have been a rock most of my life, especially for my daughter, but the diagnosis and then the loss of my right breast has been causing me lack of self esteem and depression. I try to be optimistic but I feel so deformed and self conscious by the bag of ribs sticking out of my chest wall.(I'm thin and I' in Hawaii, where we wear (or used to wear) skimpy tops. I can't shake the sadness and grief compounded with feeling so alone. Feeling like I need to start a support group out here on out island. None of my friends get it.. They say you should be lucky you at alive because you don't need chemo..it's a deep loss of femininity and body integrity. Exercise helps... just feel like I am getting slammed. Breast reconstruction isn't an option now due to 2 frozen shoulders. I would love some words of encouragement.. I think I have been in denial of the grief process, trying so hard to stay strong, but I just can't get my joy or mojo back. Thank you with all my heart

    I

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited February 2016

    Mermaid -- you are NOT alone, that's for sure. You've come to the right place for support. We're so sorry you're dealing with all of this, but please know we are all here for you and understand what you're going through.

    Please keep coming back; sharing, asking questions, supporting others. We're all here for each other and happy to support you!

    (((Big hugs)))

    The Mods

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  • sandrabob
    sandrabob Member Posts: 10
    edited February 2016

    Hello Mermaid Mama,

    I'm in UK. I've been really depressed all day today as I have been feeling very low about the loss of my right breast. My operation was 23rd January this year. They also took all my lymph nodes and want to do radiation therapy so they have said reconstruction is not an option for me for 2-3 years maybe.

    I understand completely about worrying about lack of femininity... I used to love wearing bikinis and low cut tops... yes! ...but now... I am very self conscious ... and I am not looking forward to the summer :( I am divorced and have children... and have been feeling very ungrateful...Yes...we are meant to be so happy to be alive ...that we aren't meant to question 'our great loss'... I breastfed my children too - and mostly with my right breast. I too... have really been struggling with the grieving over this breast and also of having to kind of 'hide' the fact that it has been making me so sad.


    Guess things can only get better... x

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  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited February 2016

    aloha mermaidmama hello sandrabob.

    Surgery is so recent for you both. It does take a while to get used to your new body. Friends who haven't had cancer, do not understand,,, but we do. We are here for you to rant and rave with.

    this area of the forum doesn't get a lot of action. But there are plenty of places that do.

    Want to vent? Try the steam room. https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topics/833446?page=1

    Can't sleep: talk to the insomniacs https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/102/topics/767259?page=1 There is almost always someone around. And it's a crazy bunch there!!

    Wander around on the active threads. Click on titles that sound interesting. Start your own thread. You will make friends here. Many have met in person! https://community.breastcancer.org/forum/34 this is an area of get-togethers. You can look here for people in your area,, or start a new thread,,, **anyone in Hawaii?**

    Hang in there.

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  • Meow13
    Meow13 Member Posts: 4,859
    edited February 2016

    I was horribly depressed after mine. I didn't feel better until after my DIEP.

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  • clanqc
    clanqc Member Posts: 8
    edited March 2016

    one side mast...no recon...9 yr survivor...

    Depression set in yrs later....i have no answers....seeking online help.

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