Starting Chemo, November 2013 Group

like lupus hasnot certain treatments. ....so I look toward the positive for now!

Paulette, 

I just want to thank you for that nice trip. It made me smile, cry and feel hopeful for better days ahead wen this is all over. A vision of light in the darkness. 

Thank you! 

Post-4 Days of last chemo and I'm so exhausted. I so nauseous with the last chemo. I"m finding the Peripheral neuropathy is coming back and my insides feel like they are on fire.  No matter if I drink 4 liters of water during, post chemo I'm not going to the bathroom like I should be.  I did get the Neulasta shot, but I was recovering from Chemo#3, flu, and the allergic reaction to chemo.

I meet with the radiologist oncologist tomorrow to discuss ballon radiation (intraoperative radiation) versus external beam.  I have to schedule with an OB/GYN about the ovary removals.  

I will go back Feb 6th for scans to see if we do a MX or I get to stay with LX. I just want to start getting back to "normal". 

How do you gals deal with the night sweats?  I don't wear my wig out because the chemo menopause makes me turn hot.  I figure it is easier taking of a hat or scarf then removing the hair. 

I was told I get to keep my lovely port for another year. 

I hope those who are coming to the end of your chemo that you find some peace. I found it odd that I don't have to be schedule in the big chair anymore.  On ward to the next adventure. 

jab...I too have the same along w lupus and other overlap autoimmune pbms...praying for the same from chemo. the steroids always help with the autoimmune junk but then th SE of dropping off them plus chemo gives a boomerang effect. It feels like a merry-go-round running backwards! its hard enough dealing with the multiple autoimmune stuff then add bc. yahoo....but what can we do?!!! Smile and remember every moment of life we are around...difficult and all...are precious moments with those we love!!! it sucks sometimes but when I look around at others....it could always be worse! huggs and prayers for everyone today! I would just like at least one day of normal sleep! I keep going from comaland to insomnia filled with gaps of10 min narcolepsy! add the constant tears I am going to float away on the river that is beginning to overtake my house! at least I can say I have waterfront property now! who would think someone could produce sooooooo many tears!!!!!

FDM- Ugh..... night sweats.  Besides pulling up the blankets and then immediately kicking them off rountine that i do several times a night, nights sweats and sleep do not go together well.  I did purchase a cool gel memory foam pillow from Sam's Wholesale Club for about $30 which has a blue gel on one side of the pillow.  That  pillow does help.  I also keep an insulated mug of ice/water on the bedside table so I can get a cold drink anytime at night to help cool down.  I've also been known to get up and head to the kitchen so I can open the freezer door and let the cold air hit my face.  Hope you start feeling better soon after the final chemo.

Paulette- Passing you the box of Kleenex so you can dab those "Taxo-Tears".  Yes, those do go away after you finish chemo.  If you have eye twitching, that side effect does eventually disappear.  Love your humor!!!

To all---Wishing each of you easy times while you are still in chemoland and the best to all of you no matter what stage of treatment you are in.  I know that there are times when you just have had enough of the treatments and don't physically or emotionally feel at your best; and other times when you feel good inside and out.  It is those good times which are glimpses of hope that let you know there are better days ahead for you.  Sending you each many hugs and peace and calm!!!! .  Keep pushing forward.

I am thinking of quitting the diflucan.  Woke up 3 times with severe stomach pain, all that after diarrhea x2 before bed and dizziness all day long...I just looked up side effects and those are all in there!  It also said not to stop before you are supposed to or it will come back.  I'm going to ask for oral thrush med...hoping my whole esophagus and stomach will be ok with yeast??

What do you all think?  mY stomach has been burning and painful since chemo #3...so this makes it worse...my nice feet were also burning in the night as I didn't wear socks since I thought they were better, but just touching the sheets apparently is too much! 

When will this end?????????????  I am post chemo day 11!!!!  I am so tireddddd of side effects!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Good luck wallymama and all in the chair today!

Oh Audra, I'm so sorry.  I'm on day 11 too and my finger neuropathy and tachycardia are bugging me.  And the GI stuff that doesn't want to go away.  We all seem to get such weird and different SE.  I'm also sporting a huge rash on my face that makes me look like I just stepped out of a sauna.   But this will all end for you in time!   Hang in there!

Smrlvr - my MO checks my breathing and heart rate.  That's it but I trust her completely and she's with one of the top facilities in the country.

We all feel like we want to put this bc journey behind us and just get on with our regular lives forgetting our current worries, trials and pain. We will get there one day.

We just need to be a bit more patient at times. It's not easy if we have to deal with all these SE that make us feel miserable. One day we will say that we won. 

We shall overcome some day!!!

Audra, I'm tired of side effects too. Not even so much anything specific, just tired of feeling like crap all the time and watching the housework pile up because I don't feel like messin' with it.  And, to make it worse, I'm tired of feeling grumpy and depressed ABOUT not feeling good. So I'm with you.

Smrlvr, my doc (or his nurse practitioner sometimes) pokes and prods me all over, pretty thoroughly, and definitely checks all that. They also check my throat, look in my ears, and for some reason, pull up a corner of my scarf to see if I have hair or not lol. 

Well, AC infusions are history. They are trying to make a last impression as I started feeling a bit queasy before I even got home. Enough meds will take care of that though. Today's nurse didn't have one good thing to say about taxotere, except that a few people don't have the bad SEs. Makes it kind of scary that the first treatment is 2 1/2 hours long just in case there's a bad reaction.

Found out that I will have another MRI after the chemo is done, just to check it's size again. It has gone (from the rough external measurements) from 8cm x 6cm to 5cm x 3.5cm. Doesn't sound too impressive until you actually see it. I can see a big difference in how it looks, and it no longer pulls down on my shoulder like it did. So, YEAH AC!! You did a good job. Now it the taxotere does as good a job I'll be good to go. And it will make surgery decisions easier I think. Also found out today that there was no evidence on the MRI of any lymph node involvement. I know that that won't be known for certain until my BS gets in there and tests them, but it still sounds great to me. Makes me believe, for the first time, that it is staged IIB ONLY because of it's size.

Smrlvr, I see my MOs APRN every time and she checks everything. Pokes, prods, throat, ears, measures the size of Big Ugly, listens to anything that can make noise. It's a good 45 minute appointment. Not sure if it is all really necessary, but it feels better to know she's so thorough.

Fairydogmother, I really hope that keeping a port for a year is just a quirk of your MO. I don't want this thing a day longer than I need it, but when it comes out hasn't been brought up yet, so I don't know for sure.

Audra, don't quit anything without talking to your doc. Some things can rebound pretty severely if you end the regimen too early. Go back and read Paulette's beautiful post, and really try to zen yourself there. Might not help, certainly can't hurt.

And Paulette, that was a very nice post.

Time for a nap. The nausea is getting worse, so meds and bed, here I come.

Hope everyone has a better day. 

Agreed, wallymama. I read there sometimes, but I try not to worry about it too much. I think something in diagnostic protocols needs to change: too many of us ILC ladies aren't diagnosed nearly as early as we could be. That's really the only thing for me that sticks out about it and makes me grumpy. I should have been diagnosed years ago, when theoretically at least, I wouldn't have had node involvement. I do believe the chemo works on it because my oncologist believes it, and he's a really smart guy.

Quirky-

I have been reading a lot about nutrition and today nutrition for hair regrowth!

I am needing to add a lot more fruits and vegetables than I have been eating...sounds like a LOT needed!  Just for anticancer recurrence...otherwise we ate mostly Mediterranean diet before with the occasional one night a week- burgers or tri tip or something like that..but it says like 4 cups of vegies a day??? How do you eat that much???  I am thinking maybe a juice smoothie thing with vegies and fruit all at once to get them all in and then have the rest at meals??  Seems tricky.

the hair said vitamin b ,e, iron  - then I read about minoxidil...I don't know if I'm that desperate yet...I think I'll wait a month and see what is there -

The articles on hairgrowth were interesting...a lot of them said we get the fuzzy duck hair first and then 'real' hair starts growing about a month after chemo??  I have the duck thing...and that has gotten fuller just in the last couple of weeks...mostly on top where I don't rub it off on a pillow I'm guessing...can't wait for hair! 

I wore my wig today to Dr and it hurt my head...sortof tight feeling...I'm used to being bald at home and I like it that way...much comfier.

I agree with Quirky -- this thread and my grilled cheese with ketchup have been the two best comforts today! 

smrlvr- It sure wasn't my MO- he reluctantly gave me some when I was crying after the 1st infusion...it was my ob/gyn that I saw yesterday that made me feel normal and totally ok for needing something to sleep...I told her I was trying to quit taking them since they were almost gone and I was sure MO wouldn't give me more...so she wrote for 60 with a refill and told me to call for more after that and not worry about going off them for at least a year!  I felt so relieved and almost vindicated as my MO and nurse this whole time have said ' you need to relax, you need to quit worrying, you need to not be so anxious!'  Last time I told the nurse - 'how would you like chemotherapy?  Do you really think you wouldn't be anxious?' she was stunned and then agreed she wouldn't like it....I am tired of their attitudes and really feel like they should be more caring or empathetic...but he has been practicing 20 years and he is really nicer than the nurse is...

Anyhow I feel less anxious just because I was told it's normal and OK to need help sleeping with BC!  WOW - wouldn't that have helped 5 months ago??

I have eaten yogurt throughout this...I think it is just the chemo killing all cells in my stomach mouth, etc..as they were burning and raw the last month...they are just getting better....and I'm still using Prilosec...

I'm going to try a vegie, fruit smoothie this am!  Wish me luck!  I just have a blender not a bullet or juicer, hope it works.

smrlvr - I too always get a full check up from the doctor or the PA, lungs heart, internal organs, nails, ankles etc.

Audra - it's wonderful that your obgyn was compassionate and understood what you are going through, we can't just "snap out of it". It all takes time to reach our calm and confident place, you can't force it. I was on Xanax from diagnosis to surgery and think I may need some help once the chemo is over.

I want to try to eat more veggies and fruit as well. I think amazon already has a juicer. I need help picking out a juicer. It seems I would need two, one regular and one slow for leafy greens. I have a nutritionist at my treatment center but I really do not know what her function is - if she is going to tell me the general eat healthy stuff then I do not need her help. When I was doing AC and it was difficult to drink anything I made smoothies from frozen fruit and apple juice ( way too much sugar probably but at least I got my fluids somehow) but that is not appetizing when it's 5 degrees outside. My vegetable intake currently consists of potatoes in all forms. I never used to eat this horribly I hope I can get back on track. I wonder how soon our fatigue will allow us to get back in the gym or any exercise. I get winded just from going up the stairs.

As far as ovaries are concerned I have no choice but to get them out but my MO said I could wait till I'm 40. I don't think I can wait that long so I'm thinking about doing it next year, that way my body will get a little rest from surgery and chemo.

quirky - I've done 2 taxotere and both times got a little rash, this time on my neck, but it's a small area.