Ladies - I need some advice on Stage II Breast Cancer

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BrokenHeart
BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
edited June 2014 in Stage II Breast Cancer

Hello girls,

I was here just over a couple of years ago in the Stage IV forum for my Mother who lost her battle.  Since that time we have had one more passing in our family from Brain Cancer, and an impending loss of my daughter in law who has Stage IV colon cancer.

The reason I am here, apart from living under emotional stress that's at it's limit [I have a severe auto immune disease],  is that another member of our family has claimed she has Stage II breast cancer.  She will not tell anyone whether it is a or b.  She says it is in her sentinel node and 3 lymph nodes and yet at the same time claims she has had no surgery whatsoever.   She does say she has had a biopsy and is on Tamoxifen - plus is having radiation 5X per week for 10 weeks and says she is losing her hair on week 2.

The lady is 29 and is someone I am very fond of but something in her story doesn't make sense to me - the missing surgery, unless there IS a reason why Stage II has conditions where no surgery is performed and by her own words there is no intent to perform it.

I am concerned that either she is hiding being a Stage IV or at the extreme worse, and I honestly hate to say this, faking the illness.

I part hope I am right and she is cancer free, but also detest people who lie about cancer - at the same time I am concerned she is a Stage IV in denial. 

I'm so sorry to be asking you ladies what must seem like such a paltry question, but I honestly don't know where else to turn for information on this stage.

I have read a lot of threads and surgery seems to be a very common theme.

Thank you kindly for reading this,

~Zeana

 

 




Comments

  • Jennt28
    Jennt28 Member Posts: 2,021
    edited January 2014

    At least a lumpectomy would be normal treatment at this stage.

    The number of weeks of radiotherapy she has described is far more than normal practice and would be an overdose at normal levels of radiation given. Normal maximum number of sessions would be 25-33 (5-6 weeks).

    You don't lose your hair by taking Tamoxifen or from radiotherapy unless it's aimed at your head/brain.

    Looks like many inconsistencies in your relative's relating of her condition and treatment. Inconsistencies are not that unusual as some people just "switch off" when their drs are running them through everything, or are in shock and don't remember things they were told correctly. Good luck with trying to figure that out.

    Jenn

  • GlobalGirlyGirl
    GlobalGirlyGirl Member Posts: 269
    edited January 2014

    Surgery is the first line of defense. Hmm. Maybe she had a laser lumpectomy? And I "blog met" a gal who lost her hair from radiation. I don't know. You know her best - does she hide things? Or exaggerate them?

    Either way, I hope you find out what's really going on.

  • browniefranks
    browniefranks Member Posts: 87
    edited January 2014

    Perhaps she has mistaken Taxotere for Tamoxefen.  Taxotere does make you lose your hair.   Breast cancer comprised of an extremely small tumor that can be removed during sentinel node biopsy with nodal involvement is considered stage II.  

  • jujubee83
    jujubee83 Member Posts: 30
    edited January 2014

    Some people will go through chemo and/or radiation first if dr.'s feel that is the best first options. They sometimes want to shrink the tumor before surgery. I also have a friend who had a lumpectomy and found a small tumor in her lymph node. Instead of going back into surgery, they placed her on a chemo pill and said that will get rid of it 

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited January 2014

    Zeana - first let me offer my condolences for the losses in your family. Cancer has certainly picked on your family. FYI I have Stage II, Grade 1 BC and my sister has ILC. My mother had BC in her late 60s. I am certainly far from an expert on BC but I also am confused about the plan for her Stage II BC. I have heard of doctors doing the chemo or RADS before surgery but I have to admit I have never heard of RADS being administered that way. My sister in law had the express RADS - 2x a day for a week but she also had Stage 0-BC in situ. I am also confused about her hair falling out....it doesn't from RADS but we all know it can and does from chemo. Maybe she is just confused about Tamoxifen vs Taxotere. She is very young and probably very scared too. I think all of us were overwhelmed in the early weeks of doctors visits and all the information they threw at us which is why we all recommend you take someone with you to the appts. Having said all that I hope this is not the case where she is "making this up" because if she is she has serious emotional issues. Who would do that? I had a lumpectomy and 33 RADS treatments and currently on Tamoxifen...but I also only had a micromet in my SN and no other nodes. While every case is different her accounting is admittedly really different. Hope you can find out. Diane

  • Rosa_Aurora184161
    Rosa_Aurora184161 Member Posts: 73
    edited January 2014

    Hi! first of all, I'm very sorry for your losts. Ca. sucks!

    In my modest opinion, if she doesn't want to tell her "true" situation to others she has got the right  to do so. It's her body, her health issues and her business. There are people who prefer to keep it in a closer circle, so they don't get bombarded with questions and so on. On the other hand, if it's just fear and denial what it's moving her, it'd be a good idea to advise her to get help with an oncoclogist psicologist, specialised in these matters. Hope she gets well soon. XX

  • Hortense
    Hortense Member Posts: 982
    edited January 2014

    Brokenheart - It could be made up.

    One of my sisters made up a story about having cancer which she told other people. I only found out when people began asking me about her health in hushed tones. I was quite surprised. The story she told them sounded somewhat like the one you mentioned, nothing quite made sense, things were slightly off, so I knew it was not true.  Why did she do it? God only knows. Attention probably, but she has told a few health related whoppers before, hints about fictitious heart problems to some people, having a short time to live to another. Each time she has told such stories they were after a close family member was very sick or dying - I had breast cancer, Mom died (of old age), our brother had a series of heart operations.

    The rest of us, her siblings, have come to realize she is a pathological liar with emotional problems. It's hard to accept.  My other sister, alarmed, once called the doctor she claimed had just told her she had a "short time to live" and that person, a personal friend of both sisters, was so astonished he blurted out that he hadn't even seen her in six months. 

    Now, if people ask us about her health, we tell them as gently as possible that as far as we know she is quite healthy and we let them puzzle it out.

  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited February 2014

    Thank you ladies, and before I reply to each I apologize for taking so long to get back to you but my young daughter in law passed from colon cancer.

    Ca really really is the pits! 

  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited February 2014

    Hi Jenn,

    Yes, lots of inconsistencies - and now she's shaved her head. 

    Thank you for replying!

  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited February 2014

    No GlobalGirly, she never had laser therapy!  She's extreme full on and true boundaries are missing - she's also trying for money on the internet. 

  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited February 2014

    Brownie, no, I checked that one out and she is on Tamoxifen - for 5 years she has said.  I asked her if it was IV or tablets, and she said "tablets".

  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited February 2014

    juju, would that apply if three lymph nodes are detected as affected?  Usually from what I know the tx are more for getting out the affected lymph nodes and she says she has 3 and has now said she is stage 2b

  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited February 2014

    Rosa, with all due respect this is in my family circle and could financially affect them if it is for monetary gain.  All the information I have she freely wanted to tell me - she declines any assistance I see her offered to take her to treatments - and the breast ca is not the first she claims - there is a previous  cancer [adrenal] she beat.   I don't even pry, but my senses are running riot, which they never did for all the time I was on this forum before. 

  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited February 2014

    Diane, thank you.  It's as if Ca has a hold on our family and wont let go.   

    Yes, I am confused about the plan.  I initially thought stage 0 but was put right that is was stage IIb.  The rads are 5Xdays per week - not espress RADS like your sister. 

    Her hair she has shaved off - the stubble showing is a full head of hair stubble and yet there were pieces she sent me that showed bald patches approx 1" across - not like chemo hair loss too well without going into it.   I did say "tamoxifen shouldn't be doing this to you" and her reply was, "it isn't, it's alopecia."   That was a story change. 

    And no, she knows she is on tamoxifen - she says it is not taxotere.  She's too well 24/7 for it to be taxotere anyway.  She does complain of hot flashes - which lines up with her saying "tamoxifen is putting me into menopause".  

    She IS young but states openly that this has been going on since November 2013.  If her story is true - I've no doubt she's terrified.  I wouldn't wish BC on any woman and am high risk myself, so part of me hopes it is an emotional problem rather than BC, but it's still not a good feeling.  Thank you for taking the time to answer. :)

  • BrokenHeart
    BrokenHeart Member Posts: 241
    edited February 2014

    Hortense, that is what I am sensing - the pieces just aren't fitting.  Whilst my Mother was Stage IV and I was on forum for about 2 years I read so much about BC for not just my Mother, but for my sisters and I as well. 

    This one has had a heart problem.

    Has had adrenal cancer with softball size tumor.

    Now Stage II b  IDC breast cancer. 

    I must admit she's coming over as believable as your sister ThumbsDown - they sound like doubles.  One difference - ours is now after money as she "cannot support her two children while she undergoes treatment".   She informed me and all the family that she is going to have a bi-lateral mastectomy with reconstruction.  If memory serves me well I don't think Rads and reconstruction work well together - I could be wrong on that part - on all of it, but it's all a feeling I've never had before. Thank you for sharing what could only be your own hair tearing out saga of your sister!!! ~Zeana 

    _______________________________

    A very special thanks to everyone.  I wish each of you well on your paths. xx

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited March 2014

    BrokenHeart- how are things with your sister? Her story is disturbing on many levels so I hope you at least know by now what her medical situation really is. Diane

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