Starting Chemo, November 2013 Group

Good morning!

This is my day #5 after my last infusion. I woke up this morning with my heart racing, shaky and my stomach starving. Is it the steroids? I just took my anti nausea meds because the nauseous feeling hit me again after breakfast. I also feel some tenderness in my breast. I usually get this as part of my PMS. Is my period on the way?!

Re. wig: I definitely appreciate your comments about the wig. I like the colour the way it is now, but my hubby is not happy with the blond look. He keeps saying that he misses my original hair colour. So I will attempt to colour it the way you Pat suggested. I'll see what happens and adjust as needed. BTW, I used to be a blonde as a child, so this colour is like a little trip back in time for me. My hair has always been very curly, so I am going to add some curls on. Later I'll share with you all. The colouring, however, has to wait for a while, at least until my nausea subsides. 

Virginia: How did your reconstruction go after you had rads? Are you happy with the results?  I too will have rads, and so far have not had any reconstruction.

Pat, Paulette: I hear you about the tearing issue. Hang in there! Are you both done with chemo? 

All: When are you going to have your ports/ piccs removed?  

Amazon, I like your wig as is too!  I get what your DH is saying though....I think my family likes mine so much just because it looks like the old me only better.  I don't know when my port is getting removed.  I'd like it out the day of my last chemo!

Paulette, so sorry about your foot!  

Virginia, woo hoo...you're done!

Re sleep, melatonin didn't do squat for me, I'm sorry to say. I wish I could ship the Costco bottle to someone who could use them.  I take a prescription medicine called mirtazapine.  I know I've mentioned it before, but it's an anti-depressant when taken in a standard dose, a sleep aid when taken in a low dose.  Works like a charm for me.  

I meet my RO the same day as my last pre-chemo appointments.  I can't believe I'm so close to the next phase of all this.

Speaking of phases...I must be the only person who's having a harder time with Taxol than with AC.  I feel like crap, crap, crap.  I think I just got off easy with AC, but I still feel like crap.  My body aches, my finger tips throb, and my fingernails on my thumbs and pointers are starting to look a little funky.  I hate it when this happens during the weekend because even though I try my best to be cheery, my crapiness seems to cast a pall over the whole house.  I know the rest of the country is miserably cold, but it's stunningly beautiful and warm in CA, and I still just want to stay under a blanket and stare mindlessly at HGTV.  

Re dry/peeling hands, I'm not sure it can be prevented, but it can get worse with lots of hand washing, especially in hot water.  Aquaphor helps, but it's so goopy.  At night, I put Aquaphor on then Aveeno's daily moisturizer.  There's something in the Aveeno that creates a seal so you don't feel so goopy/sticky.  It seems to last through a few hand washings for me too.  

Re low blood pressure, mine was always low before all this, and now it can get really low.  MO said to get up more slowly and increase salt intake.   I hate adding salt.  It makes me get bloaty.  

Quirky, so glad you're okay.

To the couch....I hope everyone has a nice day!

Bec65- The chair thing sounds BRILLIANT!!!!  I put ice under my heels last night too and didn't even get cold thanks to these hot flashes...

The scans...yes the CT showed ? two spots just denser than rest of liver, radiologist didn't say what they were...so one MO in Dallas recommended MRI...ours here closer to us that we chose to go to said they were nothing...?

Hey Ladies,

I'm still sleeping like a coma victim (not that I actually know what that means...), No drugs, and I could sleep standing up in a snow storm, which is almost what I did this morning walking the dog. Audra - Sounds like our dreams similar - Must be BP related somehow. My current theory is low BP plus low hemoglobin = no oxygen to my brain making it work 'funny'. Anywho, it seems like a minor thing but when your sleeping 12-16hrs/day its a bit debilitating, not to mention annoying.

Audra - My liver CT scan said 'leasion'. I know it was there in 2006, but it is much larger. My Onc said with the CT all they really know is the cells structure is different, so diagnosing 'kind'. is hard. But given it has been there for a while, its more than likely unrelated. Because it has gotten larger, so 'watching' it is necesary.

Pat - Got the red boots to match the purse. More retail therapy, but boy are they cute. BTW - I love your wig!

Amazon - Love the wig color. It seems a shame to dye it. Maybe redheads have more fun?!

Paulette - Ouch! Foot injuries are the WORST! They can be so debilitating. Can you walk?

I'm not sure if everyone gets a copy of thier blood tests, but had an interesting experience which might be of interest. I called Onc to see what my blood was doing and was told it was 'fine'. The following week, I got a copy of it and bunch of stuff was very low. Apparently Onc only thinks its not OK when it is transfusion time.

For you NJ/NY girls - Is it snowing? We got an unexpected snowfall today - Just wondering what else is coming my way...Ok, I know its only January, but, stupid winter! I miss my flowers....

I think the hand/foot cream suggestion I need is for one that dogs don't like. Everything I've ever put on my feet gets me immediately licked to death. lol.

@Amazon I will get my port removed as soon as my doc says it's okay, though I admit I'm not as anxious about it as I was. For the first month or so that I had it I hated it and it was a constant source of anxiety but now, although I certainly dont' think of it as a "part of me," I don't hate it as much as I used to. Even if it is IS highly stubborn when it comes to giving the nurses a good blood return. (We have to recline me all the way back, I have to look up and to my left, and sometimes I have to cough or breathe deep. Argh!)

@Audra: When my surgeon told me about my liver "thingy" he referred to it as a "cyst or something", sort of shrugged at it, and said "lots of people have them. Nothing concerning about this one." The report said "hemangioma," which isn't a cyst, but I figure the surgeon knew I'd know the word "cyst" and would be all "huh?" if he said hemangioma. He's a smart guy. My oncologist has seen the report and hasn't hinted that he'd like a closer look or questioned it at all, and he's a really careful guy and also a very smart guy. If they aren't worried, I'm not worried. 

Don't get me wrong: sure it COULD be something but if it is, it is, and we'll know it soon enough. If it's cancer (and I do not think it is,) then I'm stage IV and I don't want to deal with that right now. I can deal with that later. I know someone very well who IS stage IV and who was stage IV with mets to her liver, lung, and bones when she was diagnosed years ago, and it went to her brain within a few months after diagnosis. All those original mets have been resolved and are GONE; she just gets the occasional brain met that pops up, they zap it, and she goes on about her life. She's actually living a much more full and better-feeling life than *I* am at this point; taking trips, doing volunteer work, dating.. no kidding. If I have to deal with the whole stage IV thing on down the road, then I'll deal with that then, but right now I'm busy dealing with Stage IIIc and chemo for that and hoping that's the end of it, and as my oncologist says "don't go there til you have to go there."

 If we find out later that it's cancer--and right now there is NO reason to think that it is-- then we'll find a chemo to resolve it, and whatever else pops up. That's not to say it doesn't scare me or that finding out that I'm wrong wouldn't rock my world, but for now, my world is rocked enough with what I've already got.

Of course, that's MY way of having peace of mind. If your way of having peace of mind is to have it tested to be sure--and you are obviously having a hard time just letting it go--then you should get all the tests you need to put YOUR mind at ease.

It is lightly snowing in south jersey . My first chemo was on Thursday and I have pretty much been sleeping non stop. I am sooo tired. Just woke up from another nap. I hope it gets better. I also have pink rosy cheeks but no fever. Is that normal?

I honestly don't remember when I was supposed to return to see the BS. Will call on Monday to check and see when I can get the freaking port out! I haven't had a mammo since surgery, I don't know when I'm supposed to get more scans or mammos. I'm really not looking forward to having my poor girl squished again, usually it doesn't hurt, but with what she's been through I suspect it won't feel good!

I've got a referral to the lymphedema clinic. I have no symptoms, but especially with the rads to come I'm at high risk. I want a sleeve for flying and good guidelines about how much I can do with weights once I'm strong enough to work out.

As for weight gain with tax...I've definitely got a fluid retention issue. My ankles and feet are swollen, and I've gained about 4 pounds since starting this "journey," most of which I think is in my ankles. When I take my socks off there are big dents in my legs from the top of the socks. I met a woman who gained 40 pounds in her legs on taxotere! Her legs were still somewhat swollen and deformed, and she passed onto me the advice she was given. Lay on the floor with your bottom against the wall and your legs stretched straight up against the wall for 10 minutes twice a day. It's a good stretch that I used to do when exercising, and helps drain the fluid with the added benefit of giving your muscles a nice gentle lengthening.

lisa137- that all sounds smart and I think I am at same conclusion- the only thing that did worry me was the other mo saying he didn't like that radiologist didn't classify them and he wanted me to get MRI- then we saw this dr meanwhile who said they were not big deal

I am going to leave it and move on! Yay me!

I do want scans yearly though not every 2 yrs like my mo says

Wishing I could sleep like jab!!

Pat- my bs is in Colorado and I was supposed to see Her at3 months- but seeing her in march instead at 6 months- I didn't know and busy with this chemo thing - 

Meanwhile I've had the ultrasounds twice for lumps ( one undissolved suture- one wrinkle in implant) so hoping they are ok

The maintenance and dr appts are going to drive me crazy!

I'm still dizzy today- wondering if diflucan caused or just the body recovering still

My thrush is feeling better though- do you know how many days to take diflucan? They gave me 7 pills and it says one everyday but I thought you stop after clears??

Carol and Virginia, thanks for the tips,on the wig maintenance.

Amazon, I think the steroids are what increase your appetite.  Two,weeks ago,when i took the dxamethazone I was hungry 24/7.

Jab, it has been snowing here since this morning and very windy.  We only got about 2 inches, enough to be a nuisance. It is warmer, though.  About 20 degrees.

Lisa137' I understand you completely about only wanting to deal with what you have now.  I feel the same way.  I don't know if I can handle any more.  It is good that you know someone who is successfully dealing with mets.  I like hearing about those people because it shows that even if the situation gets worse there are ways of dealing with it and living a happy life.

Audra, I saw a PT and she showed me how to do the lymphatic massage that redirects the lymph fluid.  She also,showed me some strengthening exercises to do with resistance bands. I got measured for a sleeve and got one.  I am glad minded because tonight when I was cutting vegetables I accidentally cut my left thumb which is in my "bad" side.  So I immediately did my massage and out on lay sleeve.  I was just trying to prevent; I don't know if it does any good.  Time will tell.

I have said I am not a sleeper, but I am getting more and more tired each day.  Less energy.  Last night I fell asleep,watching tv and this morning I had a hard time getting out off bed.  I had some vividly crazy dreams last night. 

Have a good night, everyone.

Inks, my MO said no Neulasta after my last chemo.  She said my body will recover on its own and won't need "help" to meet the deadline of a next chemo.

Restful night all...

Getting a little depressed about the last AC tomorrow. Not that it's the last, but I have felt so good the last two weeks, it's been easy to put everything out of my mind, and now the reality has to come back. Then I get to think about the taxotere SEs. Someday this will end, right?

I did have an interesting conversation at work Friday. A lady stopped me and asked if she could ask me a personal question. She asked if I was at the end or in the middle. When I said the middle, she told me that she was a 19 year survivor, and she like that I could go bald. Her husband at the time wouldn't go out with her at all if she didn't wear her wig. No hat or scarf, only the wig. He also told her that it was her disease and it wasn't going to affect him at all. Made me think of how lucky we all really are, as we all seem to have good support of one sort or another. I know I couldn't do this with my darling hubby. Well, I could, but I'm sure it would be much harder. I told him when he got home that day how much his support means to me. I know he needs to hear it, but I probably don't tell him often enough. Actually had to take my hat off when we were at Olive Garden yesterday, and it didn't bother him at all. He says if it doesn't bother me, why would it bother him? How great is that?

You know, I can handle being bald. Not having hair on the legs or armpits is really no hardship at all. Hubby seems to enjoy the bald lady. The eyelashes and brows are thin but hanging on. But I really, really wish the nose hair would grow back. I'm so tired of blowing my nose. LOL. I guess it's a good day after all, if the worse complaint is too much nose blowing. Sure hope everyone has no worse problems today.

I didn't have a Neulasta shot after my final chemo - but I did switch from taxotere to abraxane....not sure if at had anything to do with it....

Have to shovel snow....again....last time I went thru chemo I was mowing the grass....jeesh....hired a lawn boy after my last dx....but not a snow boy lol

Inks - that def could be.  I had a full blood work up before the last chemo (usually I just have a finger stick) and my onc said my numbers were awesome.  

I don't wanna shovel still in my pjs lol

AND, I still have the danged hives wish this allergic reaction would go away once and for all......

My MO wasn't going to give me neulasta after last and I asked if I could as the first I didn't get it and could hardly move for days and thought I would die I was so weak...so I got it the last one...

All of you snow shovellers!!! The snow sounds good for hot flashes!!! We have opposite today!  We are going to hit 70 today in Dallas!  I actually went out back on a rocker by the pool and sat in the sun yesterday for about 20 minutes and it changed my life!  Felt SOOO good!  It's been so cold...Monday back in 30's!  This weather is crazy!  I am going to take my bald self back out there again today and feel the sun!  I was a little worried it would burn my head since it's never seen the sun...but seems ok...phew!

I found something helpful for nighttime hot flashes- turned heat off totally...so it's freezing at night and I have a humidifier blowing at me all night that is cool also...I actually slept 6 hours night before, and 7 last night without waking up sweating!!! hallelujah!

Quirky-My taste is coming back a little too- finally at 10 days out!  My feet are a little better but still super red and a little sore to walk on, my hands are starting to peel again at fingertips like the 3rd round...taxotere is not very friendly to skin!

Virginia- hoping your hives/rash goes away!  I HATE having a rash!  Maybe you need to call dR or go back? Seems like you've had it a LONG time!

Happy Sunday all and praise God we are here today and living and have a fighting chance to beat this cancer!

Still overcoming on my end but KNOW there are sooooo many more promises and victories for my future! If my time was done here....there would not be so many rainbows!!!!

Rainbows for us all!

Much Love and victory!

T're!!!