September 2013 Chemo Group

KJ,  awesome path report!   Whoo Hoo!

BetterDay, I've been thinking about you a lot.  I think your MO is doing the exact right thing by giving you more chemo.  Before the last few AC infusions started really shrinking my tumor, my MO told me that she planned to do the same thing.  I know how disappointing it is to still have cancer showing up after neoadjuntive therapy.  I still had 14 mm show up on the ultrasound the day after my last AC.  I cried for days about it.  Actually, I still cry about it daily.  With TNBC, chemo is the way to go and there have been good results with platinum based chemos for us.  If my path report shows any residual cancer, I'm going to be wanting more chemo too.

I've created a new term..."constirrhea." It's when you have diarrhea from chemo and constipation from the anti-nausea drugs at the same time. I feel like I've had contirrhea for about a week now.  This last AC infusion has really worn me down.

They called with my surgery date yesterday.  It will be Feb. 13.  Honestly, I'm in no rush. I feel so beat up from AC that I need to get at least a little strength back before I have surgery.  I'll be getting a lumpectomy and ALND.  I also have 30 year old sub-pectorial implants they will be taking out and removing my port.  There will be 5 incisions and three drains.....oh, yes....this is considered out-patient surgery at my institution.  Each proceedure is pretty minor (except for the ALND), but adding all of them together on a beat-up 60 year old woman (me)  makes me thinking it's pretty likely I'll be spending the night there.  

My biggest concern (besides the path report, mets down the road and recurrences) is lymphedema.  I just found a risk calculator for it. http://www.lymphedemarisk.com/  I plugged in my numbers and it says my 5 year risk is about 24%.  That's actually much better than I thought, so I was actually happy to see that number.  It's a great tool if you are concerned about lymphedema like I am.

I love all the hair porn pics.  Thank you to everyone that posted them.  I had hair through my 12 taxol treatments, but immediately lost all it with AC.  I continue to surprise myself when I look in the mirror with no hair, eyelashes or eyebrows.  I know a lot of you have been dealing with that for a while since most people get AC first, so I'm relatively new to that aspect of chemo.  I don't mind the hair on top of my head being gone nearly as much as the eyebrows and eyelashes.  I feel like I look like a space alien.

nano, nano....

(Mork from ork's sign off)

Also, MamaStewart, good for you for asking for $ and being so generously given what you need for your sister to come! Brave and Awesome !

BetterDay-- your hair is CUTE with the colors!  Mine is so dark and grey that a little color might be fun!  I'm hoping for good results for your from chemo!!

And finally thanks to those who have recently posted that they miss their breasts! I kept one because I couldn't bear to lose them both....but as a single woman, I wonder how I'll navigate future relationships with men as a uniboober with no reconstruction!!! :-)

I appreciate all the support on this site!

KJ:  Yahoooooooooo for great path report and kicking cancer's arse!    I hope you are feeling better and that your infection has cleared.

LHL:  Hope you get answers on the lump and that the drains come out.

Hockeymom: Hope your drains are out too...those dang drains are so annoying!!!!

Audra: No scans fo rme either.  I have very mixed feeling about that.

Betterday:  I hope that  what showed on ultrasound is a bunch of dead cells that chemo killed.  If not, I am glad there are still things in the arsenal, and we are in your pockets the whole way.

LisaSp: How far out did you color your hair?  Mine seems to be a lovely shade of salt and pepper which will make me look about 10 years older than my real age (especially with the added chemo wrinkles).  I am thinking when it is about an inch long, maybe I will color it...just to my former boring brown.  I had intended to dye the gray out last fall, but chemo took care of the gray for me...just not the way I had intended!

Knightzoo:  Tough call on the Tamoxifen for 1% positive.  I was about 95%, so it was a given for me.  Thanks for the reminder about the GYN.  I am behind on scheduling an exam...has not been #1 on my want to visit list.

Warrior70:  So glad your countdown is in single digits!  Soon it will be on one hand...yahoooooooooo!!!!!

Mamastewart:  So very thrilled for you that you have raised the money for your sister to come.  Sometimes things just fall into place, and it seems they are falling into place fro you to get the surgery in the rearview mirror.

Josgirl:  Running....aaaaah...I am jealous!  I am not a treadmill runner, and the temperatures and windchill readings below zero are way below my wimpy winter tolerance.  I am very excited fo rwarmer weather so I can get out and walk & run again.  I think it helps me more mentally than physically.

My exchange surgery is tomorrow afternoon.  I will probably stay up to midnight just so I can eat my last presurgery meal.  I am very excited to ditch the "rocks" and be squishy again. 

Congratulations on your squishies Kbee. Hope your down time is minimal.

Krizo- I am still doing rads but I have my tissue expanders and they are full, not drained. You may want to ask your Dr why he wants them drained before rads.

Kj so happy for you!!!!

Lhl hope those drains come out.

Simplelife I still catch myself crying, we have to remember we are alive,let's live each day like it's our last. 

Hugs to all.

kj - it can take anywhere from six months to a year for your labs to stabilize back into the normal range.  You are not long out of chemo so it is not surprising that they are all over the map at this point.  Also remember that often breast cancer patients have surgery first when their blood values have yet to be changed - your surgeon is likely more used to seeing that, and sees fewer neoadjuvent patients.

KJ so happy about your great news, and I LOVE your analogy about us as redwoods...totally agree on that one.

KBee: Congrats on exchange!  Can't wait for that one myself...but have to wait until after rads.

Josgirl: congrats with the running!  I am dog walking, at least...about 2.5 miles a day.  I do want to build up some muscle again, so its off to the gym and to jogging I go too, zoo.

Runningfrom: One thing I have learned from this experience: you are not your hair, your boobs, your scars...you are you.  I would like, though, to keep the one I still have (if possible) for its natural sensation. And, if you decide later that you want to reconstruct, in most cases you can...but YOU have to want it.  

Mama, so glad that you are able to have your sister with you.  

To everyone else, much love and best wishes.  Later I will respond to all of you!

Hi Gals

I just posted this on the Oct group but...hoping you can answers some questions.

I had Taxol #10 yesterday. Last one will be Feb 4 so I got an
appointment with the surgeon for Feb 7 (who did my lumpectomy &
nodes) We will discuss my surgery options but I am 99% sure I want a BMX
with expanders. Hope he & my insurance co agree.

My questions
are about the expanders. I assume my surgeon does them immediately
after BMX & I go back to him weekly for fills? Or do I see a breast
surgeon around that time also? (for exchange later) Those of you who
have had the expanders, they are uncomfortable huh? I am worried because
I am sooooo flat chested, & no extra skin or saggy to speak of.
Will that make it tighter & tougher to deal with? I wouldn't mind
slightly bigger breasts but don't want to look like a 60 year old pole
dancer! (sorry LOL) They over fill? I swear I am so small that I would
only need ONE fill!!!!!

I will still have Herceptin every 3 weeks. I also am quite sure radiation is still
planned. 

I will of course have all these
questions for him but honestly what you gals explain sure is easier to
understand, specially since you've been there/done that!

Thanks

VintageGal

Hey gals, reporting in from the ER. Came in for Taxol #9 and was told my labs showed I had zero neutrophils.  That, along with me having a borderline fever (99.7) and a groggy throat, made them recommend I go straight to the ER.  My MO is not a Neupogen or Neulasta fan so they have given me Cefepime antibiotics via IV and will keep me overnight for monitoring.  This could not come at a more inconvenient time - my husband left on a business trip so I've had to scramble for overnight help for my kids, and this Sat is my three year old's birthday party, so I was planning on doing all the prep this week.  On the bright side, since I'm here alone at the hospital, I will get my first night of uninterrupted sleep since the baby was born!

KJ - congrats!!  So happy for you.  Yay for KCA!!

VintageGal - I'm with you - I'm an AA cup on a good day, and am fine with staying quite modest if I decide on BMX with reconstruction.  I asked the plastic surgeon about it and she said with the size I'm looking to be I probably will only need a couple of fills, and should be done in a month.  Problem is, I haven't seen any pics of really small reconstruction - everything seems to be a B cup or higher.  

Wishing everyone smooth sailing as we near the end of this chapter!

MamaStewart, I am so happy for you that you got the funding that you needed for your sister's visit.  I love how it came so quickly.  Sometimes, we think we are all alone in this and don't realize how many people there are out there that want to help and just don't know how.  Your request for funding just gave them a chance to help and I bet it made them as happy to give as it is making you happy to recieve.  I'm really delighted for you that it gives you the chance to have whatever surgery you decide is best for you and not have to be limited by not having the help from your sister that you needed.

Running, I agree with what the others have posted about a uniboob being a screening tool.  I don't have a colon.   I had to have it taken out 30 years ago due to ucerative colitus.  I was worried about having to explain my health challenges to any new partner.  When I did disclose to a new boyfriend (now my husband) about my issues....his response was perfect.   He said something to the effect that "it would be wrong not to love me just because of a surgery that saved my life."  I knew then that he was a keeper.  

Kbee, we'll be in your pocket for your exchange surgery today.  I love the idea of being able to be awake and have input on sizing.  Can you just imagine the conversation?

KJ,   whoo hoo!  Congrats on being sprung!  It's pretty amazing what chemo does to our blood counts and how long it takes things to get back to normal.  It's a good reminder to all of us not to be too alarmed over the coming months with blood results and to check with our MO's before our PCP's go nuts if we are not in the normal range.  I know I've had that problem already with my PCP and my lipid values.  I have always been normal, but they when high after I started chemo.  My PCP wanted to treat it, but my MO said to just ignore them for the first six months after chemo...that they would be all over the board.  

SpecialK,  you always have such good advice about things.  Do you work in the field, or is it from lots of your own research?  Whatever it is, you never fail to be right on point with things.  Thanks!

Cougar, wow!  Sorry to hear about you ending up in the hospital.  I hope you are able to take advantage of getting sleep at night (and in the day) there.  I bet if your nurses know about your new baby and 3 year old at home they will take extra special care to try not to disturb you while you are sleeping.  I used to be an RN in the hospital setting (on a cardiac floor) and when we had a patient like you we would go out of our way to try to make the stay as peaceful as possible.  Let each new nurse know as she comes on shift if you haven't done so already.  They are really busy, but they also want to help as best they can.

I listened to a good webinar yesterday put on by Living Beyond Breast Cancer about exercise.  It has really reinforced my commitment to exercise faithfully in the coming years.  I was also very encouraged about new research out about strength training and lymphedema.  It's okay to do it in the affected arm provided it is done with  very gradually increasing weights.  There is a similar article about that same topic recently posted here on this site.  Here's the link to the article if anyone is interested. Careful Weight Lifting Doesn’t Increase Lymphedema Risk

Thanks Cougar for your reply. I too have looked at some photos & pretty much all new boobs have seemed too big/round for me. I wouldn't mind being a tad fuller but at age 60 & fairly slim I don't want or need big implants!

I hope you will be feeling fine very soon. All the best to you!

VintageGal

For you ladies who wish to stay on the small side with reconstruction - you may be candidates for one-step recon direct to implant.  The purpose of tissue expanders is to stretch the pectoral muscle and skin to accommodate a larger implant.  Because implants are soft and have nothing to push against they tend to appear smaller and flatter than the expander, even if they have the same number of cc's.  If staying on the small side you may possibly skip the expander part and have a smaller implant placed at the time of MX/BMX.  You may be a bit uncomfortable initially but then do not have to go through the expanding process and additional surgery.

Vintage gal- My PS had several shapes of implants as well, teardrop, etc...I am slim and had no extra skin and somehow it stretched...it really was painful the first couple of days, I used Valium from PS as that relaxed the muscles, it hurt in my back as well as front..i was filled 3 times...and not sure what size I am now as I haven't been to a store to try on bras...my old ones are too big though...I think I'm a c or d at the most...used to be 32dd...

The idea of selecting while under is a great one!  I wish..I  had mine done Oct 31- the exchange and I also had fat grafting done to pad the area...but that has diminished and now I do see wripples around my foobs when bending over especially...my Ps wants to do more fat grafting to hide those areas...he says with reconstruction we have no more breast tissue so you have skin covering an implant and there will be areas that look like that unless you add the fat.  I don't have any fat to take from except maybe inner thigh and tired of all of this after the chemo and surgeries I want to be left ..alone for awhile.  Not sure the wrinkles bother me anyway

I wish I had done smaller too but seem about size I used to be- oh well

Good luck today Kbee!

HI all..11th Taxol in the books!  One to go...

Again thank you SpecialK, 

 you always have some new info & I appreciate your response! I didn't know that having implants right after BMX was a possibilty, and even with rads in the future?

VintageGal

batcatlady

 good for you & Disney in your near future, congrats & celebrate!