Scared to death

Hi Percy, when ever I see scared I try to come on, but my  knowledge is so limited on anything with cancer, as I've always said I just didn't listen, it helped me a lot. But what's going on?

Percy, I just replied to your other thread.  

And I would like to throttle your BS and MO for using the word "mutilated".  Its inappropriate, and it's a very subjective and relative term. I had a couple of very big chunks taken out of my small breast when I had my excisional biopsy, and it certainly changed my breast.  But when I found out that some cancer was still in there, I would have been thrilled to have the opportunity to have a re-excision rather than a MX.  I don't think that removing a bit of skin would be "mutilating", certainly not the way I would define that word.  And as someone who's had a MX (not by choice), personally I think anyone who is able to keep her breasts is lucky.  I'll happily take some scars and a few dents in a natural breast any day, versus having an unnatural, unfeeling reconstructed breast. 

Your doctors were out of line with their use of that word and it's unfortunate that it's scared you so much.

Hi Percy,

I would completely second what Beesie said.  Your breast might not be perfect if you have to go through a re-excision, but it will still be your natural breast. I prefer to think of it as cosmetic changes, not mutilation.  It's true that many women actually chose to go to mastectomy rather than risk having cosmetic changes to the natural breast, and I know you are not contemplating that, but cosmetic changes are just that, changes.   You live with it, and the main thing is you are alive and hopefully have a lot still to look forward to in life.  Hopefully, this year turns into a blip in your life and you can move on.  You will be changed, but maybe in some positive ways.  As Beesie has said (I'm always saying that), you've dealt with adversity in the past few months, unexpected turns, and you have done amazingly well. If you are really really concerned about cosmetic changes, ask about oncoplasty, which is plastic surgery for those who had a lumpectomy and there are cosmetic changes they are not happy with.  Sometimes that can even be done at the time of the re-excision surgery.  It's not something I seriously considered, myself, but it's available. I'm still shocked that breast cancer surgeons and oncologists would use pejorative terms like mutilation, in the context of necessary treatment. I think that they are just warning you, because it they do it and you aren't happy with the result, you can't come back to them and say, you never warned me about this.  So, they use the more extreme terms, but it's not helpful at all.

Good luck! I'm hoping and praying it'll be fine.  One day at a time.

I will be there with you in thought.   

Percy- virtual cali hug!! what an insensitive and awful thing to say- had I been in your pocket I might have whispered- "mutilated really- are your surgery skills that bad, maybe I should see someone else...."

I am NOT kidding- how things end up looking at least on the skin is in the hands of the surgeon- my MO did talk about my scar post lumpectomy she said "oh it looks wonderful, it follows the curve of your breast its fabulous.  My RO (dryer-lint personality) said well I don't know I would say it was fabulous-   really how about don't say anything at all.

Beesie, Ballet and others are right- stay strong and speak up for yourself. I preferred to hear my stuff alone too- my daughter is still mad at me for that but oh well.  We will be watching for your post. 

percy4 - Good for you!  So happy for your clean mammogram!  Take a deep breath and SMILE!

Hi Percy,

I will go to my dance class tonight and do a dance for you--a dance of giving thanks! of relief!

On to rads and hopefully smooth sailing until the end of it.