Not quite a horder - decluttering

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  • georgie1112
    georgie1112 Member Posts: 282
    edited January 2014

    So great to have found this thread!!! I bought a house today.... Wow. 

    Wren-Love the idea of minimalism. Feel good in clean simple spaces. I don't think I will ever get there, but I need a strategy. So like the idea of limiting what I keep by space of a container. Will empty a closet tomorrow and see how I do!

    CCFW- Thanks for the welcome! And congrats for giving away some clothing. Yes, definitely celebrate any success!

    Bunkie10- Sorry you had to go through that! I can't imagine grieving AND having to go through a house full of memories. How difficult for you. One of my biggest fears is if I die before my mom and she would see all my stuff that I have and sort through it. It will be great to start over in a new house and not bring most of my things!!! I already filled up 2 recycling bins:) going through papers. Now I need another garbage can. I have until the end of February to go through everything and move, so hopefully that is doable. Plus the less I have to move, the cheaper it will be.

    Think I will start getting rid of my old clothing and cart off to Goodwill.

    Thanks so much, everyone! Am going to try to go through one area each day, whether it is a shelf, corner or drawer.

  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 661
    edited February 2014
  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 4,276
    edited January 2014

    Georgie - congratulations on the new house!

    Do you do itemized deductions on your tax return? DH and I found that on TurboTax, we got TONS of money deducted for items we donated throughout the year.

    We have a three-car garage, and between stuff we brought over from my mom's house (she passed in 2009), and combining two households when we married, the garage became a mini-storage. Only one car can park in there. And oh, did I mention we have an attic in the garage filled with holiday decorations? And a Tuff Shed in the back yard filled with, uh, I don't know?

    For me, purging takes time.... I pick something up, look at it, start to remember stories about it... and put it back in the box. But after I've done that several times, I find I'm sick of looking at it, and out it goes.

    Another suggestion: pick out the things that you absolutely can't live without.... like what would you take if you had to evacuate your home? You may have to get a mini-storage for a month or so.

    Then call in someone who does Estate Sales. They go through your stuff, categorize, price, and set up a weekend sale. They get way higher prices than you ever would at a yard sale. And when the sale is over, they take all the unsold stuff, itemize it, and donate it to charity, leaving your house completely empty. We did that when we sold our mountain house.... what a relief to not have to do it ourselves!

    Wishing you luck!!!

  • Gingerbrew
    Gingerbrew Member Posts: 2,859
    edited January 2014

    I thought you all might get a little laugh out of this real estate piece I read the other day. It said if you are moving don't try to do it in just a few days. It would be come overwhelming.

    Instead take three weeks.    Bwaa Haa Haa!

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited September 2017
  • Gingerbrew
    Gingerbrew Member Posts: 2,859
    edited January 2014

    Teka, a hobby! That is brilliant! 

    It took me and my DH 6 months to clear out my mothers house. I should have thrown out 50 times more than I did. My kids didn't want any of it. 

  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited January 2014

    We went the auction route with my mother's house. The family took a few things they really wanted and the auctioneer did the rest. I think we'd have to move to the moon before DH would agree to get rid of enough stuff. He's in to poetry and I have no problem with him keeping those books, but abysmally outdated textbooks could go. And the stuff that was exciting in 1957 that would be hopelessly old fashioned for today's kids.

  • friendships
    friendships Member Posts: 47
    edited January 2014

    Congratulations on the new house, Georgie! We moved two years ago and I didn't move anything that we didn't either "use or love". Everything else was sold, donated, recycled or trashed. It saved on moving expense and I really enjoy what came along to our new home. Love this thread and helpful advice!

  • Gingerbrew
    Gingerbrew Member Posts: 2,859
    edited January 2014

    We moved 2000 miles in 2010. I was just a couple weeks after BC diagnosis and surgery, poor timing! When I look at the things that were moved at a cost of .50 a pound I shudder. How about a mismatched set of old beat up golf clubs that are NEVER used! There is so much that should not have come along but I was just too sick to speak up. I shudder to remember. 

    Moving is stressful under the best of circumstances. and beyond stressful otherwise. 

  • FairyDogMother
    FairyDogMother Member Posts: 253
    edited January 2014

    Well something I wanted to do during chemotherapy was get rid of some of my clothes. I did gain 15 lbs during chemotherapy. My last chemo is tomorrow and today I took 8 trash bags of clothes to Salvation Army. I even got my big clothes away since I need to loose 50 lbs to get my BMI down to 23 to keep cancer away.  This is my motavation now, since I got rid of my fat clothes and my then clothes. I kept 2 rubber made containers of thinner clothes and I will reassess them in 4 months.  I feel like some weight has been taken off. Thank you for all your posts. 

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited September 2017
  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 4,276
    edited January 2014

    I lost 60 pounds after BMX, gained back 20 on Arimidex.... can NOT go back to where I was... I gave all my really fat clothes away. Thank goodness all my pants have elastic waists...

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited September 2017
  • georgie1112
    georgie1112 Member Posts: 282
    edited January 2014

    Well seeing this topic reminded me I have fallen off the cleaning/sorting wagon.... Think I will attempt to clean out my closet.  

    Teka, I have also gained weight and hope I can lose some with healthy eating and more exercise. It is a process. Frustrating for me too!

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited September 2017
  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited September 2017
  • georgie1112
    georgie1112 Member Posts: 282
    edited January 2014

    yikes!!! Teka, always so much to do. Found the sewer pipe is collapsing at the house I am hoping to buy. Too much drama so just went through two piles of paper. Nice to get much of it recycled. 

    Appreciate the nudge. Have only 2 deadlines tomorrow LOL so determined to get a lot of decluttering accomplished! Will post progress tomorrow. THANKS!

  • Mandy1313
    Mandy1313 Member Posts: 1,692
    edited January 2014

    Found out that we might move by July 1.  So I have started trying to get the papers in my life under control--I shredded 8 bags (trash size bags) of papers and have another 4 bags for recycling so far this week.  I have actually enlisted a friend to help with this daunting task--shredding documents I no longer need and filing those that I do need.  After I get the papers under control, I will deal with the "clutter" some of which is family heirlooms which I need to sell---they are not suited to thrift shops as they are actually valuable.  I am thinking that I will offer some things to cousins if they will come and get them.  My friends have known for years that I do not want gifts of "stuff"--only disposable gifts such as food or perfume....Wish me luck because I surely will need it.

  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 661
    edited February 2014
  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited September 2017
  • BUNKIE10
    BUNKIE10 Member Posts: 733
    edited January 2014

    Mandy - You are doing very well. Keep going. I went down in the dungeon...I mean basement yesterday and I still have too much stuff. It is organized in plastic bins but need to go through it all to see what I really need to keep. I also found 16 posters I was saving to hang later on. Huh? When is later on? My current house is a cape cod and has no upstairs wall space that is not cut off from the dormers outside so I hate that. I will keep a few and the rest can go. I also need to shred.

  • BrooksideVT
    BrooksideVT Member Posts: 2,211
    edited February 2014

    I cleared off the top of the dining room table today.  Yay!  For months, all my mail/bills/statements have been just sitting there in various sloppy piles (definitely not tidy stacks).  This morning I moved it all somewhere else, not necessarily where it ought to be, just not on the table.  Unfortunately, I"ll go to the post office today and replenish my paper supply, so this might be a very shortlived victory, but a victory it remains.

    I guess I need to go back to FlyLady's long ingnored step #1--Polish that darned kitchen sink.  I swear everything tidy stems from that!

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited September 2017
  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 4,276
    edited February 2014

    Oh, my goodness...

    My sweet MIL passed away Thursday... she was 93 and ready. We were ready. She'd been in a nursing home for 3 years. Dad remained in the home they shared for almost 70 years. We've all been dreading the chore of cleaning out the house when both are gone. (Packed to the rafters, etc.)

    But Dad has expressed a desire to sort through and donate Mom's clothes and personal effects. That blew me over! At least we can start now, and take it slow... and in the process, maybe make it safer for Dad to navigate the crammed rooms without hurting himself.

  • Teka
    Teka Member Posts: 10,052
    edited September 2017
  • CCFW
    CCFW Member Posts: 661
    edited February 2014
  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited February 2014

    Blessings, It might be that your father wanted to get rid of things but felt like it would be giving up on his wife ever coming home. It's harder to go through things than you imagine. Did you read Stones for Ibarra? Wonderful book and based on a true story. I'm still sorting through things pertaining to me that my mother kept. I keep trying to think whether anyone else would ever be interested in this stuff.

  • MinusTwo
    MinusTwo Member Posts: 16,634
    edited February 2014

    I don't post here often since all my de-cluttering plans were waylaid by recurrent BC and treatment.  I'll get back on track once I can find the energy to do something besides sleep.  But i do read faithfully.

    Blessings:  I'm sorry to hear about your Mother even though everyone was ready.  My mother had a totally debilitating stroke 12 years before she died. She was a vegetable for 12 years but my Dad kept her at home.  He didn't want to get rid of any of her clothes so they were all cleaned and re-hung in her closet.  For many of those years he was convinced she'd "come back" to herself.  He spent 12 years with her in a hospital bed in their dining room taking care of her & all the machines she was hooked up to.  I agree w/Wren - save some her things to wrap yourself in & savor the memories down the road.

    Wren - my Mother never moved after 1949 until she died in 2004.  She saved everything for all 3 of us kids - including a box with each of our baby teeth, all of our grade school school papers, all of the cards we'd ever sent her, the first clothes I learned to make in 8th grade 'home ec', all my brother's wood shop & junior hi pottery projects, etc.  Since my baby brother died in 1994, imagine how hard it was to find his baby teeth after she died.  She'd also saved tons of things from her Mother & Father.  Oh yes, and my dad had boxes full of records for every tax return he ever filed from the 1930s.  He saved paper.  Yup - it was a big house & a big job - not to mention the house was in CA and I live in TX.

  • Gingerbrew
    Gingerbrew Member Posts: 2,859
    edited February 2014

    I think we can be a blessing to our children by donating or trashing or selling things we can be sure they don't want. My parents lived in their house from 1950 on until 2007. My Dad passed away in 1996 my mom is 2007. My Dad had tried to dispose of some things but my mom went on an insane spending spree after my dad died and spent all of his savings on crap from QVC.   She had drawers and drawers of crap jewelry. I mean drawers and drawers, so much, beyond the imagination. She had clothing with tags on from QVC on top of a bed and it reached the ceiling, seriously the freaking ceiling. She ran up her credit cards until there was no limit left and used up the money that was still held by a brokerage to make payments and then spend them up again. She lied to my son that I was handling her money and to me that he was handling her money. She fell and her hip broke, and her shoulder. she never went home again and spent a couple years in a nursing home.

    It took me and my DH 6 months to clear out the house. I don't have brothers or sisters. I started getting migraines each time we went over there. It was very upsetting. Also if you have any evidence of any secrets, for God's sake throw it out right now!!!!!!  I found disturbing absolute evidence of something and so did a friend of mine. Your kinds don't need that. I guarantee it!   For those who had wonderful parents, well that is amazing to me and wonderful for you.  I did not. The crap a rejecting parent can leave for their child to deal with is horrific and I wish I had just had a charity come directly in to take what they wanted and trashed the rest rather than personally going through it. While in the nursing home she even told me there was money hidden and all the places I needed to look for it. There was a bag of quarters, period.

    Yes, I am still bitter, I have prayed forgiveness and did so with her before she died but it lingers on and erupts into full blown pain from time to time. I look around my house and I see nothing from her house except for one cabinet that a lady who took care of me and loved when I was little gave to me.  Again, please oh please discard your secrets.  I actualy had my DH go up to her room to throw away anything that would make me crazy and to never tell me about it. He did, he did however show me the loaded 38 gun in her night stand, inches from her bedside. We gave it to the police to destroy. She was 85 years old at that time. You can see this was traumatic for me and I encourage you not to do as I did by going through piece by piece unless that will help you to mourn. 

    I hope this is enlightening in some way. 

  • Smilemaker
    Smilemaker Member Posts: 25
    edited February 2014

    Morning ladies, I hope you dont mind me jumping in. I thought I was the only one who had to clean out their parents house filled with stuff. It has been 4 years since they both passed on within 3 months of each other. I have 5 other siblings and no one could agree on what to do with their stuff. The youngest has to look and handle every single item. 4 years and the house is still filled with junk that my father picked up from other peoples trash. Very overwhelming. It has caused friction between family and money problems. I'm trying to declutter my own home too. Too much paper clutter is my issue.

    Gingerbrew, I can relate to your story.

    Blessings, Sorry for your loss.

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