In shock

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited January 2014


    Suedeere, Welcome, take a deep breath. We are here for you. It is a lonely journey but the ladies on here will answer your questions or point you  in the right direction.They will also keep you company.
    It is your body so if in doubt demand answers.
    Your treatment team are there for you, have you a breast cancer nurse you can talk to ? Mine answered a lot of my questions.
    Keep in touch.

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  • websister
    websister Member Posts: 1,092
    edited January 2014

    Suedeere - adding my welcome. It is hard in the beginning, glad you reached out to us so you don't have to go through this alone. Sending hugs

    Edi - what a wonderful picture of GD on the climbing wall :). I'm wondering if some of your tiredness is coming from the diet change - hope you feel better and get some time to yourself soon

    Liefie - that will be great if you come to visit the newly weds - we will definitely have to get together!

    Nihahi - loved the story of your resurrection- read it to my DH last night - he loved that you will now be receiving money, enjoy it thoroughly :)

    Dakota - good to hear from you

    This weekend seemed to go by all too quickly. We have our granddog Charlie while Paisley and parents are in Mexico for a wedding. Tomorrow my manager wants to meet with me, wondering what that is about - guess I will soon find out. 

    Have a good week everyone

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  • adagio
    adagio Member Posts: 982
    edited January 2014

    Edi - is the survivor's thread that Jackpot told you about on this website or is it something completely different?  I go for my 3 month check up with my oncologist this coming Thursday - hoping for good news. I am glad to say that I feel well - however, we all know that is not always a good indicator of what is going on inside  of our bodies. I have definitely let the healthy eating slip over the holidays and then with being in Hawaii last week, I did indulge in wine with dinner  every  night. The good news is that I have been exercising lots. Take care of yourself.

    Liefie - glad you are getting back into a routine after your long trip to S.A. It takes a while to recover, doesn't it?  If ever you are in Vancouver and have some time to kill, let me know and we can have lunch together or even just a coffee. I live close to UBC. Glad the newly weds are happy - I have two daughters getting married this year so I will be BUSY!!!

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Adagio, will be in your pocket for the check-up on Thursday. No reason why it should not be good news, right? But I know that feeling all too well, my friend. Thursday in a week I go for my six month check up with the OB/GYN. After the endometrial ca I had to be checked every 4 months, now it is every 6 months. Two weddings coming up? You will be one busy mom for sure, but it is a  happy, nice kind of busy, I found. The six months before my DD's wedding was the time when I had two surgeries, chemo, as well as radiation which finished the day after the wedding. That wedding date was like a shining beacon for me, and it kept me going through those dark days. Will certainly let you know when I'm in Vancouver. Will be just lovely to see you again!

    Dakota, how are things with cockroach?

    Websister, hopefully your manager will have good news for you - I can't imagine anything bad. Will let you know about Calgary.

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  • Jackpot
    Jackpot Member Posts: 167
    edited January 2014

    hi all

    Hope everyone's ok...just thought I'd pop on and share this...I had my brain scan two weeks ago and got the results today....all clear...I'm so relieved....just started second week of rads so this nightmare is nearly over.....

    Take care

    Jackpot 

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited January 2014

    *expletive deleted*

    Rant alert:

    So I discussed reconstruction with my BS back in July, telling her I'm strongly considering prophylactic Mx and immediate recon, at the same time as autologous recon on my previous Mx. She said she would refer me to the PS she works with ..... 

    Roll on October. See BS who asks if I am considering recon (???!!!). I remind her of previous conversation. She looks back and finds she wrote it in the chart. (but apparently didn't do it) Within the week, I get a PS appt, ..... for today.

    So, meet with PS today. In the waiting room I am given a leaflet on tissue expansion and implants. I explain that I didn't want implants anyway, but was told by my RO that my radiation therapy probably ruled that out. Sinking feeling starts. Receptionist tells me this PS doesn't do bilat autologous recon.

    Initially interviewed by intern who tells me PS definitely does free flaps. I tell her I think I've been referred to the wrong guy. She reassures me.

    Before she finishes her interview, PS enters, and tells me they don't do bilateral autologous recon at PLC, as they don't have the manpower. Normally need 2 PS as well as BS. So, ..... I've been referred to the wrong guy! 

    His sec was going to call three other PS's to see who has the shortest list, but shit shit shit! (to use the vernacular) 

    I wish I still played hockey cos I sure feel like hitting something!

    Meanwhile, I've spent the whole of the rest of the day trying to sort out some of the rats' nest that the girl who was supposed to be covering for me has left in her wake ...... Fed up much? You bet!

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    mo......rant away, you certainly have valid reason!!!!

    I was surprised when you initially mentioned about having a flap recon at PLP....but, am out of the loop enough that I figured I didn't have current info. Since your doc "screwed up" with the referral, there might be some hope in some "professional strings being tugged" to get you in sooner. I'm assuming the 3 Foothills docs you are referring to are Lindsay, deHaas and McKenzie. All are EXCELLENT, you would be in good hands with any of them....actually, you would be in 2 pairs of good hands, as they "co"-operate, surgically, so whichever combo you end up with, you're getting the best.

    Hang in there....it is what it is.....stressing is normal, but isn't going to change anything. breath, breath, breath!!! (yes, I know easier said than done). {{{{{{X}}}}}}

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Jackpot, so happy for you! Hang in there with the rads, and keep slathering on the cream and aloe vera. Before you know it, it will be done.

    Morwenna, maybe contact the BS, and explain what's going on. Hopefully he can pull a few strings, and something will happen to get you in sooner. Good luck!

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  • adagio
    adagio Member Posts: 982
    edited January 2014

    Jackpot - glad the scan is clear. Good luck with the remainder of  rads - as liefie said - keep the boob well moisturized - it works! My skin held up well during rads, but about 2 weeks later all the skin peeled off - it didn't hurt at all though which was a good thing. The end is in sight - yeah!!!

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited January 2014

    Yes Liefie,

    well I need to contact my BS anyway, I guess, and let her know. I think the PS's office is going to do all they can in passing my referral on, but all the proper guys have such long wait lists ..... :(

    I had hoped to be looking for surgery perhaps in the fall, but now (worst case) it might be a year from now before I even get a consult, then another year to get to the top of the list. 

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited January 2014

    Hi Nerdy
    Morwenna, what a pile of poop !!!! No wonder you are furious. So hope it gets sorted as soon as possible.

    Jackpot, Best news EVER Happy as the girls say slather on the cream. The end is in sight YAY.

    Websister, how did it go with the boss ?You could be right re diet change will keep on and see if things improve.Smile

    Adagio, in your pocket Thursday, sure all will be fine. That survivors thread is on here, stage three cancer survivors five years and out, just really positive stories that lift the spirits.
    Those weddings will keep you busy Smile

    Have been wide awake since three am Devil now 5 am on second cuppa and so need to sleep. Just lie there going to not good places in my mind. Wish I could summon up some energy.
    Helped out in charity shop yesterday for a few hours, it was really strange being "useful " again.Mad busy and bags of stuff came in by the minute. People are so kind, the shop funds a cancer charity for children.Going to do Thursday afternoons for a while and see how I go. DH will spend the time with my co workers husband who is an old friend so thats him sorted too.
    Gd's birthday party great fun yesterday she is growing into a young lady.

    Eyes starting to close thank goodness, X

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited January 2014


    CentslessDeals's photo.

    Giggle for the day.

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Morwenna, I really hope something happens so you can get in sooner. Waiting sucks, but it seems in this game it is more often the norm than not. My timeline went like this. Had mastectomy in Feb. 2012, 15 months later had DIEP recon surgery in May 2013, and it will be 11 months after DIEP when the final small surgery will be done in April 2014. So it's been a long journey, but well worth the wait if that's any consolation.

    Edi, that picture is funny. We are all stuck at 22, right? Will be so good for you to get out on Thursday afternoons, and you fixed DH up too. Hope you got some shuteye eventually. My sleeplessness thanks to jet lag is finally over - no fun.  

    Morwenna, Websister, Nihahi, Benny, it seems I will be in Calgary for a few days in February. If we can meet it will be really special. My new DIL invited me to come and visit them. She misses her own mom, and I am next in line, so will go and spend time with her. She's even calling me 'mom' now - just gotta love that girl.

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited January 2014

    Edi, I think age 22 was my favourite year. That was the year I qualified as a physiotherapist and got married. Wonderful honeymoon in Jersey (the Channel Island, not the north American state!) ;)

    Love to have a get together with all the Calgary clan in Feb while you are here Liefie! Depends I guess on what day and hour, because my work hours are stacking up. From next week, I'll be working 4 full days, almost up to fulltime!

    Hoping to hear tomorrow about the job I applied for. With my current run of luck, it'll be "thanks but no thanks!" but I'm trying to be philosophical about that possibility. If I'm not moving then I have to sign up to take a student in the Spring. And so it goes on.

    Dr Lin's sec called this morning to say she had rung around to find the PS with the shortest waiting list, and one guy is booking June, so that's the best I can do, I suppose. Then up to a year after that til surgery. Sigh. I was hoping to be done before Christmas, but I don't suppose it will make a huge difference in the long run.

    I left a message for my BS to tell her what happened. I told them how disappointed I was to have been misdirected in that way, and wasted 6 months. I can't see why it is so hard to be referred to the right person. It's not as if there are that many to choose from. Our BS should know who only does immediate recon, or only implants, or what the waiting lists are doing for each of the surgeons, or at least be prepared to find out before referring on! 

    Ok, going to change the subject, write up some charts, then maybe play my piano for a while before chorus tonight ...... 

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    liefie....let us know when you have a better idea of when in Feb you are coming!

    morwenna.....the word from the "gang" is that schraag has lots of flap experience. Not much awareness of his BREAST flap experience, so no one really had much to offer there. But, all the guys work in tandem in the initial stage 1, so, it's always a "two-some" in the OR. Still hoping for you that some expediting will be done on your behalf.

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited January 2014

    Oh I know he is one of the main men for breast recon ..... Did "the gang" offer to advocate on my behalf?? ;)

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited January 2014

    Wow girls can you talk :)

    I'm so sorry been missing in action, Super Busy, Super Hot and Super Good :)

    Nihahi, so funny, I don't really watch the tennis, but it's on every time I'm at my parents or brothers house. They LOVE tennis. I was thinking the same as you. This time last year, you and those frozen peas and me with my damn wig running after my cheeky boy and holding on to it incase the wind took it off my head!! Look how far we have come in a year. Who would have thought! Now I'm back to colouring and straightening my hair and taking an extra half hour 'dolling' myself up in the morning getting ready :)

    Well I'm an Aunty to those of you that aren't on FB. My brothers wife had a little baby girl :) Super Super cute and tiny. They named her Alyssia. So I haven't seen her in a couple of days with me being at work but I'm off for 5 days so I will smother her in kisses every day. Getting very clucky here LOL.

    Heat has settled, we had a 4 day heat wave over 40 degrees celcius whatever that is in your temperature it's bloody hot!!

    Was at my auntys house every night in he pool and not doing much except making salads and fruit salads!!

    Well my lovelies, must go to bed, 1am here. Hubby is out on a job. Thank goodness last day of work for him and 5 days off like me :)) Long weekend here on Monday so might get a way for a couple of days.

    Oh and my little business that I started in October is doing really well. I might even give up my 3 day job if it continues LOL.

    Take care and sorry for not being 'around'. I think of you ALL every day and glad I get to 'see' what you girls are up to on FB. Ahh the joys of social media.

    Cyber mummy Edi, how funny was that post I copied my mummy in....That is soooo her but not the MF word though, maybe sometimes the F word or B word LOL :) xxx

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    Traii.....congrats on the new family member, I bet she's a real sweetie.

    liefie, websister, morwenna and benny.....I sent you an email about getting together.

    Thinking of you all, hope life is good!

    as dakota would say....."MWUAH"!

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Traii, so good to hear from you, and that all is well. On your avatar your hair seems to be coming along really nicely. Yes, you have come far indeed. I've been watching the tennis, and cannot believe those players are running around like that in that heat. I would have wilted within a few minutes for sure. Last week one day a town in S.A. recorded a temp. of 51 degrees C - that is halfway to boiling point! 

    On Tuesday I'm getting an ultrasound of the DIEP breast. When I think of going into that US room again, I am transported back to Dec. 2011 - that is where my bc was confirmed. But I will lift my chin, square my shoulders, put a smile on my face, and JUST DO IT. 

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  • adagio
    adagio Member Posts: 982
    edited January 2014

    liefie - in your pocket for next Tuesday - is it routine to get the ultrasound of the diep breast (sorry, not up on the breast procedures).  Hope all goes well.

    I just returned from my oncologist and she said all is well - lymph nodes are all normal and no lumps or bumps on the breasts. I don't get any scans or anything done, so it's not a lot to report really - but she told me to keep on doing what I am doing, so I guess that is good news. Will see her again in 3 months.

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Adagio, good for you! Always a relief - phew. About the DIEP breast, it is not supposed to be mammogrammed, and I can't imagine having that precious flap squished like that. So ultrasound is recommended. Suits me!

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    liefie.....towanda girl....just keep thinking TOWANDA!!!!

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Thanks Nihahi! Also seeing OB/GYN next Thursday for 6 month check-up. It's my week for dr's appointments, but then it's over for 6 months. Oh, I forgot the small matter of the final recon surgery on Apr. 23 . . . the secret is NOT to cross the bridge before you come to it. Sense of humour, where will I be without you? Lol.

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    edi....."hearing" you talk about your mind taking you to dark places, and not sleeping well, makes me very sad for you. I really wish you would give the counselling a try.....! It is so, so common to feel like you do, at this stage of recovery, but there ARE ways to help yourself feel better and the positive things that will help you stay healthy and happier. 

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  • Moviemaniac
    Moviemaniac Member Posts: 949
    edited January 2014

    Traii....Nice to "see" you!   glad all is going well for you!  Sure do think your little guy is a cutie, and your new niece is beautiful!

    Edi......I am sending you a Mad Yank (((((((HUG))))))).....I love you, you crazy Brit!   Listen to Nihahi......good advice.......maybe if LIfie have skype this weekend in Seattle, we can ring you up????

    Nihahi......snowshoeing.......can you see my jealousy?

    XO

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited January 2014

    image

    this is for you Edi.... Love u !!!! Muah :)

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited January 2014

    tears dripping onto DH I Pad  LOVE you all so much.

    Afraid that if I talk to a counsellor she will still be listening years from now.

    Have an appointment early Monday morning with my team, have fallen on my sword so to speak and asked for help..

    Rang my nurse in bits last week and they have bought forward my next appointment by three months. hopefully they will sort me out.

    Trying to keep busy and not go to the dark places, spent day in Liverpool with my oldest and dearest friend, 61 years since we met in primary school. !

    She tells me off and is really good for me as are all of you.

    Adagio, thrilled your news is good. 'X

    Liefie, with you Tuesday , defo not squashing that Diep ultra sound much more gentle.x

    Traii, supermarket shopping tomorrow, will think of you when swearing at the self service till. Lol. Your niece is gorgeous.X

    Dakota! thank you, x

    Nihahi, you are a wise lady X

    movie, PM me re Skype at  weekend if you can x. 

    sipping scotch and dry naughty but nice.

    love to all x

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  • websister
    websister Member Posts: 1,092
    edited January 2014

    Liefie - I will also be joining your pocket parties next week; I sure hope it works out that we are able to get together with everyone here.

    Edi - wonderful that you reached out for help - adding my hugs 

    Traii - wonderful to hear you doing so well, you look great and I have been enjoying your pics of DS and niece on Facebook

    Dakota - you're amazing! Thanks for the post about pushing toward the light - sometimes there's lots of growth going on in those dark places 

    Movie - hope you are feeling better now?

    Adagio - celebrating your good report with you

    I have an appointment in the next couple of weeks to have my heart checked out, I'll let you know when 

    Take care everyone

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    Sometimes you have to "reach for it"....but the sunshine will find you eventually. Hugs for you edi.....and all the future pocket parties. 

    image

    image

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  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited January 2014

    Well this hasn't been the best of weeks, but I'm glad it is over, at least.

    Today heard that I had not been successful in my job interview. So I'm feeling a bit rejected, but not too DEjected! 

    Work is settling down, or at least, I am settling back into it, and getting a few knots untangled. In a way it is one less thing to worry about, as I know this team well and my place in it. I'll have a little student to look after in March/April, and I've got my own learning/professional development plan underway. I enjoyed meeting all of my patients today. We're supposed to call them clients, but they're still patients to me :)

    I seem to have quite a bit of holiday time to use up, so maybe I'll just book some time off for the big Calgary meetup that seems to be forming :)

    In 2 weeks we have our singing coaching/retreat weekend, which is always a blast, then start to ramp up for contest in May, which is in Surrey, BC this year.

    Just gotta sit back and wait for my plastics appointment I guess. It'll come by soon enough .... 

    Sorry you are struggling Edi..... Big hugs to you! xxx

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