How's your mental health/stress level, stage 1 ladies?

Hi Cecilia,

I am 7 months from diagnosis, had a MX (no chemo, no radiation), and am taking tamoxifen and zoladex for ovarian suppression. I am 37, so "young" for this cancer nonsense too. Physically, I am ok - maybe even better than ok on most days. Emotionally, though, I really struggle. I have young children and am always worrying that I won't see them grow up. My doctors all tell me what an excellent prognosis I have, but there is - and always will be - the "what if's." I don't think that I am coping very well and actually feel guilt when someone talks about how strong I am (not to mention that it's kind of ridiculous - what choice do we have?!) because they don't see my constant anxiety and fear. It's so hard and I can only hope and pray that it gets easier! Hugs to you.

Cecilia - I think time helps. I am still anxious but I don't stress about it as much as I used to except right before my mammogram and Oncologist visit. I am 3 years out from my DX in January. I am Stage 2(micromet in the SN) and Grade 1. I had a lumpectomy and 33 RADS treatments. They weren't a walk in the park but not too bad at all and certainly better than having chemo. I am currently taking Tamoxifen. I did have a minor scare a few weeks ago when the back of one of my calves was burning. I was afraid I had DVT which can happen with Tamoxifen. It wasn't. Ultrasound said it was not a clot and probably due to my pounding on the treadmill...I walk hard and fast. Haven't had an incident since I stopped walking on the treadmill. We all know there aren't any guarantees but I have been told the odds are in my favor. Regardless we will always be branded with the C word and looking over our shoulder but we still have to find some optimism in the strides that have been made in BC. I know people who are many years out who had a more dire prognosis than I have. I hope we reach the point when an ache or a pain doesn't mean it has metastasized or is a new cancer but its hard. I differed with another lady on this forum about the term cure...I have always been told there is no cure but it can be treated and managed. Diane

Ladies

I am just over 5 years out--and really, time is about the best medicine for this.  I, like many of you, powered through the lumpectomy, chemo and radiation.  I kept working, took care of my kids, etc.  I have had friends actually say to me "well, if I get breast cancer, I won't be as worried because I watched you do this and you are fine"  By and large, that was true.  And while I was in the process, it was my job to get through it.  But there is an associated crash at the end.  I clearly remember my last day of radiation and thinking I had never ever been that tired in my life.  That fatigue took about a month to lift.  I did see a counselor throughout the process and I found that helpful.  I processed as much of my fear, anger, hope as I could in those sessions.  

At this point, 5 years out, I only think about it in the abstract or it becomes more concrete every November and May when I have tests or check ups.  But overall, it does not rule my life.  I think it taught me some things about how I was living my life and I was able to make some adjustments (not getting too worked up over things, getting over perfectionism, etc).  

I felt like I was pretty healthy before bc, and I feel that I am pretty healthy now.  I have 5 months left on my AI.... very much looking forward to having that behind me.

At the 1, 2 and 3 year mark, I felt as some of you do.  The best advice the counselor gave me at the time was "feel your feelings"...... it really helped.

This too will pass...

I finished radiation on Dec. 23rd and went to visit family on the other side of the country on the 24th.  I did pretty good while I was visiting but I cried half the way home on the plane.  I've been very emotional (cry at the drop of a hat) and very very impatient with my husband and kids.  I'm hoping that when I get my energy back I'll be nicer.

It's been a couple of years for me and I think like the others have said, time works wonders.  I too felt like you did at a support group.  I try to eat and live healthier, take my Tamoxifen every day.  Luckily the side effects are minimal for me.  I have found that yoga with meditation helps me to focus and quiet the thoughts when they come.  That also helps for stress of worrying.  I too feel very anxious before my appts, but am so thankful they have all gone well.

Give yourself some time.  Read positive posts.  Take time to stop worrying and live life.

Hi ,

     First time posting. It's been almost a year since I sat in the exam room waiting for test results.I too have found it difficult to voice my fears and concerns in a support group. Feels petty to complain about thinning hair and no sex drive when the women sitting next to me have  much more at stake. I have been lurking in the background and found support and advice here reading everyones post. There are days I hardly think about bc, and there are days I break and cry at the drop of a hat. Just taking it a day at a time and hope for the best. Thank you all for the words of wisdom. Weare not alone.

Thanks wenweb. I see all the support given here. Now that I put my toe in the water,will inch my way in.

Thanks farmerlucydaisy, I got through active treatment okay. It is now dealing with the mental aspect, and minor(to me) se of anastrozole. Sometimes I'm my own worse enemy.

OK, I'm over that. I am OK. I went through the lumpectomy surgery. I got frightened when the nurse said partial mastectomy, but the doctor said that this is the terminology used. He did a good job, leaving my breast looking almost even. He said he got all the cancer. I've got to see the oncologist so I can start the radiation. The nurse was intent and told me that I had to pay my co pay in cash or with a check, so I asked her to reschedule my appointment after I got paid which is three weeks away. I had my surgery on the 30th of December. I prayed and I will be okay. 

farmerlucydaisy,

I feel better already, because someone is there for me to talk to. My sisters are so far away and I have friends, but I don't want to be pitied. I want to do this and go on with my goals. I am going to use this time to learn all I can about my new career-computer repair technician. I retired early from education. They played so many games about promotions, so I came out, took what they gave me, and decided to find another career. I had just started getting some work when all this happened. I am struggling financially, but I want be beaten. I am brave, daring, and beautiful. God bless you. 

Interesting...I just joined this group and still waiting to decide if I have to go through chemo or not and have not started radiation...My surgery was on December 17...almost a month and I still don't know which direction I am going...very upset over this and just want to get this process over with and get back to my  normal life.  I am so tired of worrying and being a cancer victum.  No one understands and I can't stop crying.........

sisters - and we all are sisters now - linked forever with this diagnosis - everything you are feeling is completely normal. In her book After Breast Cancer,  Heather Hill Schnipper speaks of those early days "Terror and grief overwhelm you" "It was your last thought at night and your first thought in the morning" "You may have trouble sleeping, you may have lost your appetite." " You must have cried and wondered whether, ever again, you would laugh and feel like yourself"

She goes onto say "We know from psychological-crisis theory that an acute crisis cannot last more than a few weeks. No matter what the stresses, no matter what the situation, human beings are amazingly resilient and adaptable and in time begin to find a way to live with their new circumstances." You can read excerpts here http://www.amazon.com/After-Breast-Cancer-Common-Sense-Treatment/dp/0553384252/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389972827&sr=8-1&keywords=after+breast+cancer

While I may have been somewhat prepared for the physical aspects of my dx, I was blown away by the emotional aspects, something that was addressed in the annual Breast Cancer Symposium in December. You can hear a summary here http://www.breastcancer.org/community/podcasts/sabcs-20131213

It is going to take some time come out of this.  As my counselor told me "You have a lot of work to do before you feel better, and you know how long it's gonna take? As long as it takes!" Hugs to everyone. Coming and staying at BCO was a powerful first step for me towards healing and I hope it will be for you.

Stage I

Stage I describes invasive breast cancer
(cancer cells are breaking through to or invading normal surrounding
breast tissue) Stage I is divided into subcategories known as IA and IB.

Stage IA describes invasive breast cancer in which:

• the tumor measures up to 2 centimeters AND
• the cancer has not spread outside the breast; no lymph nodes are involved

Stage IB describes invasive breast cancer in which:

• there is no tumor in the breast; instead, small groups of cancer
  cells – larger than 0.2 millimeter but not larger than 2 millimeters –
  are found in the lymph nodes OR
• there is a tumor in the breast that is no larger than 2
  centimeters, and there are small groups of cancer cells – larger than
  0.2 millimeter but not larger than 2 millimeters – in the lymph nodes

I hope this information helps you

Sheila

I am six weeks past surgery and this week I became numb. I had a MRI a couple of weeks ago, they found something suspicious, had a biopsy and it came back positive for DCIS. So now I  am waiting for my third surgery to get scheduled. I too want to start radiation and just get past this phase. I don't know if I am coming to some place of acceptance or am so overwhelmed by it all that I have shut down. Does anyone else go through periods where you don't feel anything?