DIEP 2013
Comments
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For RSG......from your "been there" sisters....
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Help. Having a minor freak out here. I had one tiny spot on my left breast incision that had a scab. Today I went shopping and I was trying on lots of different tops. I had a tank top on, no bra. At some point I must have ripped the little scab off, and now I have a divot. I sent a pic to PS but no reply yet. What should I put on it? I only have band aids, so I covered it with that to keep it from getting rubbed. I was told once by the PA not to put antibiotics ointments on anything open?! She said they can be irritating. I am so afraid of the incision opening up. Can that happen from this tiny divot? I need everything to say just right till my surgery.
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Wow, there's been so much activity! I'm furiously skimming, trying to catch up.
Sweetpickle - You've crossed the finished line? Is Wilbur with you?
RHGSR - You're so gorgeous! I don't know what your hair looked like, but it would never be nearly as beautiful as you face. I shaved my head too, and felt tremendous relief once is it was done. At night, I loved the feeling of my bald head against a freshly washed pillow case. It was one of my favorite things.
Lahela - I lost one friend over cancer. We live on separate continents, and I spent days composing an email that would break the news gently. I also told her how confident I felt about my prognosis, and downplayed any drama. I expected a quick response, but got nothing. Three weeks later I got an email saying that she was 'trying to catch her breath about my news' and would write soon. I was furious. I thought 'F*ck you. Nobody gave me time to catch my breath after receiving my diagnosis!'
In retrospect, I wish I'd picked up the phone after two days and asked her what was going on. It would have got better results. I'm not offering any advise here - I'm just sharing an experience. And my experience is that the give and take is never fair. I've always tried to play fair, but now the rules have changed and I just forget fair. I just need to move forward
Nihahi - Where are these pictures of you that everyone's talking about? I want to see!
Janet
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thanks ladies. I have never met any of you but I can't help feeling like I've known some of you forever. I love you all and appreciate all of the support.
Goldie - have you heard from PS yet ? I have no advice to offer on that... Sorry. Sending you hugs.
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Goldie, I have (and have had, in the past) several "divots" in healing incisions. I think it's where a stitch works its way loose and creates a tiny crater. I wash my incision lines every day with Hibiclens, but that's all. They have all healed up fine. But to be sure, yes, see what your PS says.
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goldie.... I don't understand the avoidance of antibiotic on an open wound??? There's no point in putting antibiotics on something that "isn't open"! If you are reluctant to put a dab of something like polysporin on it until you connect with your PS, just keep it clean and covered with something sterile and soft like a piece of gauze. I'm crossing my fingers for you, I'm sure it's difficult not to worry, but I really doubt if you are looking at any kind of complication. It's not uncommon to see a minor "crevice", if a scab gets pulled off before it's ready. How big is the "divot"? Deep breaths girl!
janet....I posted on the picture forum. I really just intended it to be a message of "info and support" for women who are having uber-delayed recons like I had, or found themselves having trams instead of diep, as there is often discouraging info about delayed recons and trams out there. The gals on our threads have been "overly" gracious with their comments!
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It's been 6 weeks, and that was on the only spot that was not completely healed. I would say the divot is about the dimensions of an eraser head, or a little smaller, and not very deep. You can see that gross stuff that is usually under a scab, no bleeding.. The PS just texted me back and said to be a dab of antibiotic ointment on it, and make an appt to see him. Oh, and try to keep it dry.
Thanks guys. I am breathing...lol
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rhg- You look beautiful! Rock that bald head girl
I am resting comfortably in my room now, Wilber is keeping me company quite nicely! DH is also staying with me. Pain is minimal but Im still hooked to a,cath so I havent moved much to see how that feels. I got pretty itchy from the pain meds so they are giving me benedryl for it. Surgeon said everything went smooth and was textbook, so thats encouraging.
Ill post more later when I can focus better, im nodding off while typing this. Moving on up to the est side ladies, towanda!!!!!
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sounds great, sweet.......rest easy!!!!!
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LOL, Sweet. You did perfect till the very last sentence. Sounds like you did great. Hope you go home soon. Hey, why are you still there? Wasn't this a day surgery like most stage 2? Hmmmm...maybe you surgery was later in the day. Anyway, glad you are okay.
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RHG, you look absolutely gorgeous!
sbe, ROTFLMAO!!!!! You and your hubs are the best!
Sweetpickle, you sound like you're doing well!
Christina, waiting sucks when you just want it over with. Hope they find you a spot.
Goldie, around here they are big advocates of air for healing. I was never allowed to cover my open belly incision spots - they said it was closed underneath, it just needed a bit more time to close over the top. Hopefully yours is the same.
Janet, thanks, and you're right - moving forward is the most important thing now.
I finally bit the bullet and applied and was approved for the picture forum - I need to know what my outcomes are likely to be in real world terms (not in doctor fantasy land everything will be wonderful and you'll be tripping through fields of flowers and not notice your scars speak) before I see the PS on Monday about planning my stage 2 and nipples.
Bone scan today - planning on it being for reassurance only, please! -
Lahela, that is what one of the PS's nurse told me. She prefers air drying for healing. She told me to walk around naked for a hour after each shower. As if!!!! LOL.
Bone scan is going to be fine!!!
The picture forum does two things for me. Let's me see the good, which makes me jealous sometimes, and then it let's me see the bad, which makes me realize it could be worse. So, it's a place to get perspective, I think.
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lahala- I have good vibes from Wilber onyour bone scan, hang in there!
Goldie- Becauxe I had two surgeries they kept me overnight. Normally either one on its own is an outpatient procedure.
I just wokee straigh up from a lovely wilber nap, all itchy and sore. My womderful nurse, I have a great one this time, was able o give me a hydrocodone but I have to wait until 4am for my next benedryl dose. I am hoping to distract myself with surfing, man do I itch! I have two drains uptop and my cath is still in, really want to get that cath out.
Other han that I feel pretty good, no where near as painful as last time. We shall see though omce I am able tostand up and move aroumd tomorrow. Oh wilber, where for art thou? heeheeheehee
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Greetings...still casting a shadow and celebrating life. Saw PS Dec 5...disappointed that I must have another revision. The stage 2 Sept. 13 healed nicely with minor problems. But my boobette is almost twice as big as my natural, now lifted breast. So a regular bra is a joke.
I'm wearing soft sports bras and using a little cotton pad to cover the new nipple which is excited for the rest of my life, hehe
I did have two small places in boobette suture line that became infected and oozed. When I saw PS, he said it was flesh, I forget the term, that was caught subcu in the sutures. He cut the suture somehow and derbrided. Was painless.
My greatest challenges: nutrition, balance, acceptance, fear,
Of those, the most acute is the balance. I want to think since I look great in the outside, my friends who are fewer after this illness and recovery tell me I look great, then I must be normal again. Truth is I'm not yet recovered, and thank God I now have no definition or relevance for what normal is. I'm finding balance daily, and that seems to be the best I can do.
I see the PS March 5 to schedule pre-op blood work etc. People near me say I look great and why would I want another surgery if the cancer is gone. I want to hit them. Instead I smile, detach, and get away from them.
We didn't WANT any of this. What I've found is this is a narrow journey, a deep valley, and those who walk it are those who know.
I will strive to post more often.
Namaste
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JAKIG - Everybody is so relieved when we're 'back to normal'. Truth is, normal on the outside isn't normal on the inside, and it takes a long time for us to figure our what 'normal' even is. Then, our insides have to catch up to our outsides and it's a complicated, fragile, invisible process.
There is another thread called 'Why was I stronger during treatment...' that addresses these issues. Also fear & acceptance. Seems to be very common to be off-balance in the year following treatment (or in my case, a big blubbering basket case). I think of it as being emotionally rebuilt. For me that included a lot of falling apart before being put back together.
I can't figure out how to send the link to that thread, but it's 'Why was I stronger DURING treatment than I am now?'
Janet
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jakig- I have always said that normal was a setting on a washing machine......lol I totally get where you are, Im there to nut feel like I am slowly getting past it all. One thing I am very grateful for, that fighting cancer gave me, is crystal clear clarity on my lofe and relationships. I don waste time anymore on people or things that bring drama or uneasiness into my life.
My cath is out and I was able to walk to tjs bathroom, yay! A little unsteady on my feet from the pain meds but it didnt hurt like I thought it might. My underfoobs are sore and stingy a bit along with my right side that had lipo but its managable. Happy Thursday everyone! Hoping to get sprung from this joint before noon.
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Can't comment individually so I want to send a rainbow of well wishes and healing to everyone!
Sweet- I love your moto- "I don't waste time anymore on people or things that bring drama or uneasiness into my life" .
My best friends mom passed away over the weekend. She was 89! Spend the past two days surrounded by old friends and family.
I think I hit the 12 week mark! I am actually losing count. I did postpone my stage two for now....waiting to see how insurance for stage one plays out.
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Jakig, well said. I'm still trying to find balance on an hourly basis. My emotional state seems to be deteriorating, but I think that's because I'm headed into surgery again.
RHG, you are beautiful!! Your smile is dazzling! It took me a long time to get used to the shave head feeling. It really hurt in the beginning. Never again will I rub my son's Buzz cut! Eventually I got used to it and especially enjoyed the feeling of shampooing it.
Sweet, so happy you're recovering nicely.
Goldie, already covered but I would say the same thing. Triple ab or manuka honey. Probably from a suture.
Lahela, quick smooth scan! No worries.
Lucy, a rainbow right back atcha!
I became estranged from the sister I was closest too. She was like a second mom to me so it really hurts. But she couldn't handle hearing the diagnosis. Ultimately, she threatened to kill herself "because she couldn't live without me" And ended up in a mental hospital for observation. Just what I needed at that point in my life. More stress! And nice to know she gave up on me before I even began the battle.
Janet, I'll look for that forum too. Thanks.
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Bleeding after dog ear revision. It was pretty horrible. All seemed well, only an hour and a half in. i was up and alert and even walked to the bathroom with the nurse after. i went to get dressed and i started bleeding from the dog ear incisions. PS was in another surgery so he sent in another doc to check. she pulled off steri strips and blood shooted out across the floor! she stiched me up like a baseball with non disolvable thread. the bruising is horrible on the right side. i hope its all woth the pain and fuss!
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RHG, when my boys were very little, they had buzz cuts in the summer and loved them. Everyone else did too, because it was such fun to rub your hand over their fuzzy little heads. Eventually we paid them $1 each for the privilege of unlimited head rubs.
When I had my initial buzzing after the chemo, my son gave me $1 for unlimited rubbing of Mom's head. I put his dollar in my cancer binder "The Viking Chronicles" to always remember the love.
Sweet, hope you're home by now!
I attended the first class of "Pink Pilates" yesterday. Interesting and fun. We'll see how things go when we REALLY get down to business next week.
Happy Saturday, everyone!
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sbe....I know I'm geriatric....but.....isn't today Thursday???? OMG...exactly what kind of post-pilates refreshment did you have last night?
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RHG- Had to hop on here and tell you that you look radiant! You really do! Keep that smile.
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jakig, I don't think there is a universal "normal", just what we choose as normal for ourselves. I hope you get to the end of the valley and find your normal, because that's the only normal that counts. *hugs*
sweetpickle, glad you're up and about. Hope you get to go home.
bluebird, I am so, so sorry about your relationship with your sister. Like many have said on this thread, sometimes the people we think will be our biggest support turn out to be anything but, but others step into the breach. I hope you can find your way back to each other one day, when you're ready. *hugs*
krissy, healing thoughts flying your way! *gentle hugs*
Scan went smoothly, but afterwards he said he wasn't going to tell me anything so I have to wait until I see the MO on February 3rd! Ugh! Unless I can get the PS to check my files on the computer on Monday... I wonder if she takes bribes!
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Blue - that's a crazy story about your sister. And an added burden you shouldn't have had to deal with. So sorry that she couldn't handle your world.
The 'why was a sttronger....' Thread was a lifesaver for me. I thought I should becelebrating being alive - but I felt such despair. I feel great now, but it was such a lonely time, and talking to other ladies in the same boat made it less so.
Happy Saturday to you too Katy! And Hapoy Thursday too!
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Hi Sisters! Most everything here is as "drama-more normal". My other dad is being cremated today and I had a long good-bye with him on Tuesday. That last conversation was very soothing and comforting for my soul.
Drama-(stressful) is coming from my younger sister and my real mother. My mother is moving in with my sister due to dementia in April. She is quite embarass about this so it is a "secret" and only my younger sister knows b/c mom is moving in with her. It bothers me that my mother can't tell her other kids what is going on. Most of all, my sister is in the "ha-ha" mode "I know something you don't know" and "don't tell anyone b/c mom will ream me". I am bothered by all this because I don't do this kind of "secret-control-manipulation". Mother has done it for years. My sister is only telling anything that she has to because this is a protection mode for her from my mother's screaming fits. (Yes, she has slight dementia but she still remembers how to drive across town and does not do the screaming at males)
I really would like my mom to tell me what she is doing and do all of this stuff. I know I treat her with respect but she can't seem to give any or her kids respect in return. I am trying to let this go but my "cancer radio" plays and I think about having this surgery and not coming out of it. I am totally scared.
On the upside(yes I can find the upside), my husband and I are flying down on Feb. 17th, a week before my surgery, to "play" with grandsons, daughter/husband and do some fun things before the 24th. So all of the above stuff, should not be in my face as I get all of this surgery done.
You all know I lost my other dad Monday, I had this foster family as a tween growing into an adult in this family. My other mom and other dad including a sister and brother, have given me so much. They gave me the tools to make myself into who I am today. They taught me respect, integrity, good values/morals and how to apply all that with the friends and people I met along my way. All of the discussions about current events were discussed but with respect for everyone's difference of opinion. That doesn't work with my real parents and siblings, they just know everything. I know I have made them proud and I have treated both of my real parents that way. But why can't my own parents see me as the an adult-friend? I just don't get and figure I never will and I just have to love them the way they are even though it tears me up inside.
Sorry to post this but the surgery is coming up and I have no where to vent!(I have to many ostriches in my own family with their heads in the sand-so to speak)
Just keep me in your thoughts and pockets as I struggle with this. I know I need to be 100% mentally prepared as physically but heaven help me.
You all have been so supportive of me the last two years and I feel comfortable(and I don't think this topic belongs here) with you to say this. Thanks from the bottom of my heart for hearing me.
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Oh, Kat, your post made me cry. It is beautiful that they gave you so much, but ironic that the one thing you want from them they cannot give you. Families are very complicated, aren't they? I guess that's why they call it "unconditional love"... No matter what they say or do, or how we act, we love them anyway. We don't have any control over how they treat us, or what they say or do, our only control is how we process it or respond to it. Love them for the good things, and it sounds like there are many. ((Hugs))
Janet, I am definitely going to check out that message board, too. I saw my MO on Monday, and he asked me if I wanted to see a counselor. I was quite surprised and told him that I appreciate it, but think I am handling everything quite well, thank you. My DH chimed in that I am the strongest person he knows. My MO explained that often, after treatment is over, that's when people tend to fall apart. Maybe I should have taken her number for future reference! I will sure keep my eyes open for the signs.
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Kat, feel free to let it all out here - this is the least judgmental place on earth so whatever needs saying, just say it. It is so hard when our families don't treat us the way we would like and I'm so sorry that you are going through this, but I'm a firm believer that "family" is whoever you let into your heart, and your foster family are obviously deeply in your heart. You are loved by so many people. *hugs*
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kat-ski.....you DO have a place to vent...here with us. You DON'T have to be 100% mentally and physically prepared.....you just have to show up. I think your plan to spend some "positive" time before your surgery is a wonderful idea. When the time is right for you, I hope you are able to forgive and let go. I read a great quote the other day....
"Forgiveness is letting go of the hope for a better past. Hope belongs to the future."
I have so loved how our thread has evolved. We are like the "public school" version of recon...all different backgrounds, family issues, health histories, types of protocols, outcomes, and futures.. We encourage, acknowledge and celebrate our differences while moving towards the future.
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Do they shave your pubic hair for diep? I'd like to know different people's experiences with this.
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yup....I was never told to "self-prep"....was rather surprised to find I had been "groomed"....but, I was asleep, so didn't really care.
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