Starting Chemo in December 2013

Kim, I'm with you as far as not wanting anything pink.  My Mom handed me a bc calendar the other day and I told her I didn't want anything pink.  She looked at me funny and I told her that I never want to see pink again.  I know some women find it empowering like we're all in this battle together.  I was like that the first time I had bc.  Not the second time.  I found out both times at the beginning of October.  I couldn't wait October to be over so I wouldn't have to see those pink ribbons all over the t.v. I thought after having a double mastectomy at the age of 34 meant I would never have t hear that I had brest cancer "again." 6 years later, he I am.

My vein area in my left arm from Round one 5 weeks ago still bothers me.  Sometimes worse then others.  I asked the nurses at the infusion center and they say it will take a while to feel normal.  Glad I have the port.

I'm also in a F*^K Cancer Mood and everyone else for that matter!!! I'm supposed to be in Hawaii right now with my girlfriends, not facing round 4 on Friday.  They blew up a picture of me and are taking it with them on their Hawaii adventures and are taking pictures of my picture with them in Hawaii.  So sweet, but pissing me off at the same time!!! I don't want to see what I'm missing!!! AAARRGGHH!! Done ranting.  Now back to work

Today, I got a package with the temporary breast prostheses and an exercise kit from the Canadian Cancer Society. Here is the pic.

mikesgirl- please ignore me if this is too sensitive a question to ask- the BC came back regardless of the double mastectomy? I ask because I had a double mastectomy and I'm 37. 

I too am tired of pink. My hubby bought me those hot pink tennis shoes on my picture. I'm wearing those to chemo and later to rads. When this is all over I'm gonna BURN them :0)

DJJ- so very sorry you are missing your trip. But I gotta say you got some awesome girlfriends. 

RHGSR

my initial biopsy of the lump that I found and the US showed was just IDC and <1 cm on US, it was after the wide excision they found the ILC component that made the total area 1.6 cm. The lymph nodes had both the IDC and ILC in them but mostly it was ILC.  I am concerned about just having the lumpectomy and not a mastectomy, not that I want more surgery but I am concerned since there were also a few spots if LCIS situ scattered in the biopsy specimen. I may go to Fox Chase in Philadelphia for a second opinion on the surgery part before committing to whole breast radiation in addition to the axillary RT.    

discuss with your MO for sure.  I think the dose dense vs regular dose is a personal preference for the Oncologists. 

I freaked out my sons when I would sit and gently run my fingers through my hair and come out with 10-20 strands at a time.  worst part is the pile on the shower floor after washing it.  that is when I gave up and clipped it short.  Good luck, baldness is the visible sign of what we are going through and really its hard when it happens.  

Barbara

DJJ, I feel for you! I think you said you are planning a big trip for when treatment is over? 

We were supposed to leave Thursday for our canada ski trip. I'm glad we decided not to go - still feeling walloped by #2 today. But thanks to Amy, we are going to do some skiing closer to home next weekend .

So far, baking soda/salt rinse seems to be working pretty well.

Beths 1, I have been on Klonapin and xanax for years now, it was the combination that finally got me off the couch and start to go outside when I was first diagnosed with panic/anxiety disorder. I spent almost 2 years in my house afraid to move. So I don't get any ativan. 

I am scheduled for 8 rounds of the red devil...not sure why except I have very large mas (nodes) under my arm. I am very anxious to ask my oncologist to check mine b/c I can't really feel the one in my breast anymore and that one popped out where you could see it. It is what keeps me going is knowing that it is shrinking. 

What happens if the tumor completely shrinks and nothing is left? Do you still get surgery?

Another question ... what is everyone washing their head with shampoo or soap? I think I finally got all the stubble off today and all I have is the peach fuzz stubble that I haven't shaved yet but I still find myself reaching for the shampoo....funny I gave away all my hair products that I had but my shampoo and condtiioner still sit on the shelf in the shower.

Charlotte

Charlotte - for what it's worth, I still use tiny amounts of shampoo and conditioner.  Seems to be working as I don't have any issues with dryness.

I keep trying to ring out my hair prior to grabbing for the towel...nothing but air there, no hair...

hah!  Yeah and wrapping your hair in a towel...that doesn't work either.

we are shaving my head tomorrow. I'm 14 days out from AC round 1 (round 2 is next week). It is coming out in clumps now. Started last night.  Any light pull and you come up with a handful. Just as well shave it than keep pulling it out. 

My hubby came home tonight with a shaved head!!  I love him more now than ever before. Gives me courage for tomorrow!!

Hi Char,

I am hoping and praying my treatment schedule will be 4 red devil but because I had multiple and large (3.8 cm) tumors, it always been out there that we may need 8.  I have wrapped my head around 4 but get really anxious thinking there could be more.  Don't want to be a baby but come on................how much can we take of this shit.

Baby shampoo seems to be working fine

So now wondering what is up with my sleeping.    Only sleep 3-4 hrs a night and feeling exhausted.  That,s with ambien.  This is driving me nuts.   Guess time to check in with MO.  Beginning to feel run down.   I have been blaming decadron...........something else?     Anyone else not sleeping ?

Thanks ladies, I pulled out my Northern California (August) and my Peru (Spring 2015) books out and worked on itineraries last night.  Made me feel much better about missing Hawaii.  This will be over and we will have our lives back to normal!

Amazon, what a great thing to do with your hair.  That's awesome!

Charusa, Yes you still have surgery if the tumor is gone.  I had an appointment with my Breast Surgeon last Tuesday and asked that very question because my tumor has shrunk so much in 4 weeks.  She said that I would need an appointment with my radiologist and she would use the tracer that she put in to find th area and better mark it for the surgeon.  Then she would remove an area to test and still take a few lymph nodes to test. 

Funny thing happened last night.  Went to happy hour with friends, taking advantage of my good week, and I got asked out.  Hee hee, I guess men do like bald woman!

I keep trying to ring water out of my hair after showers too

I was so tired last night I went to bed and forgot to take the Ativan.  As I lay in bed I thought about getting up and taking it but decided to try the night without it.  Fell asleep but woke up about every 2 hours. Was able to go back to sleep but not a very restful night. I guess I will just surrender and take the Ativan nightly for a while. I feel better in the morning then when I took Ambien.

I still wrap the towel around my head after the shower also. Just keep it wrapped while I do my post shower routine like I used to. Keeps the noggin warmer. I still automatically reach up for the shampoo and use just a drop to clean the bald head.   I guess following the old  routines just make you feel a little more normal.

Going to the supermarket today to stock up before chemo on Thurs.  Keep telling myself I am half way through the red devil, tomorrow round  #3 will be done.

Barbara

I've gone back to my 10 mg of melatonin for sleep, I take the Ativan the day of chemo and several evenings after..the decadron I have in my IV and for two days as well..it does give you energy but it hasn't bothered my sleep.  I have to say the melatonin works best for me, I get at least 7 hours and no grogginess waking up.  I've added my multivitamin this last week daily and I think it has helped as well with energy levels, able to work 7 hours in the office before I feel tired.  I've been bad on the treadmill lately I need to get back on that horse...

Use baby shampoo as well, and coconut oil at night on the head, the only dryness I seem to have is on my forehead and areas of face, which I drench in night cream as well...I think winter weather has allot to do with it.

Crazywabbit....good way to look at the devil..I have one more on 1/23 then we are on the same taxol schedule I start 2/13 weekly...since I asked for a three week break to do vegas on 2/6 for 5 days.  Getting my arm sleeves fitted today, I will get both just to be cautious traveling, left only had sentinel node but right they took all of them.  PS also has me starting myofacial release for auxiliary webbing, I've so missed my massages so I'm looking forward to that.  I think we all need more pampering on ourselves, I never turn down an offer of a nice back rub from my family...wishing all a feel good day!