DIEP 2013
Comments
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lahela....I'm so glad you got such supportive and loving responses from some of your friends......so sad about the "silence" from the other one. Remember, whatever her "issues" may be, they are not yours to sort out. Keep up with the healing, hope you get good results from the silicone too. How is that sore foot of yours doing???
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Nihahi, you are such a kind and supportive woman - thank you so much. The foot still hurts like blazes - I can barely walk on it some days. I'm seeing the BS tomorrow for my 3 monthly visit and will press her for a bone scan. I know it's unlikely to be anything related, but peace of mind would be good. There always seem to be so many little things to keep us from moving forward, mentally if nothing else.
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Hugs to all, happy Sunday morning!
Lahela...Hugs honey. Concentrate on the two who were able to support you. Don't write the third off forever, maybe she has her own story happening.
I am good friends with several women in the neighborhood and, unfortunately, we have all had major things happening in the last year. We support one another as best we can, but we have all been limping along, so to speak. When we call or text or stop by we always say, hi, this is your horrible friend...lol....maybe, for whatever reason, she just needs more time.
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Lahela, maybe she needs some time to process your info,or perhaps she is going through a boatload of issues right now and can't handle the news. Maybe she is making plans for a surprise visit? Time will tell the truth.
One thought, can you give her a call and check on her? Yes, I know it should be the opposite but you can start with. "I haven't heard from you I hope everything is okay". ...
I am optimistic the majority of the time and try to give as much leash as possible for people to run with. They can respond to the leash or hang themselves with it (well, not literally!)
Wishing you the best.
Pat
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Morning all. Just got back from a walk and a coffee with two great friends. Wonderful way to start the day. It's still a bit icy here, but we walked on the roads, so were good to go. Felt great to get outside for longer than a walk to the car.
Lahela - I had a similar experience with one friend. I was at her house with a couple of other friends, and had intended to tell them all that evening. We are friends from university and see each other a few times a year and keep in touch on the phone or by email during the rest of the year. The conversation just didn't flow in a direction that it made sense to add my news to the mix, and there were a number of little ones and teenagers around. So I ended up telling just her when she walked me to my car at the end of the night. I would now characterize her reaction as shock. It struck me as a bit odd at the time and I couldn't put a name to it. In any case, I didn't hear from her for a long time, and I thought maybe this is something that is going to come between us. We are fine now. I think she needed some time to process, etc, and she had a lot going on at the time ( going away on vacation, etc.). So maybe give your friend more time. She might have something going on that prevents her from handling your news right now. I hope you hear from her soon.
Nihahi- you sound a lot better
Kelly - welcome to the other side!
Bailey- you always bring such a warm, sunny feeling to the board:)
I am still having some incision healing issues where they removed the nondissolving dissolvable stitches. I wish these areas would seal. The surgeon said just gauze, so that's what I'm doing, but not seeing any progress. I still have a nurse coming every second day, so I will see what she says today.
Have a great day everyone,
Ridley
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Lahela, just a quick reminder about those Facebook PM's. I have had the same experience. It shows "seen" and you think the person read it, but all they have to do is open their PM's and it will show "seen" on all the messages they have in their in box, but it doesn't necessarily mean it was read. If you friend had several PM's that day it is possible she didn't scroll down enough to see that yours was there. I made the same mistake on my end, so I know it is easy to do.
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I wouldn't read the silence as not caring. Some people just don't know how to react or what to say. Some people hear the word bc and freeze. It may have something to do with their past experiences, or their fear of the unknown. Just as we would hope they are understanding of our situation, although they don't have any idea what we are going through, we should strive to understand their situation because we don't entirely know what they have experienced. We are often surprised when we receive the most support from those whom we would least expect it. We don't have any control over how others deal with our situation, we only have control over how we choose to deal with it ourselves. I pray no friendships will be dissolved over my diagnosis.
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You are all such amazing women! Thank you all for the support and advice!
Deb - that "it only happens to other people" thing has morphed for me - whenever I'm in a group these days, like in the bus or supermarket etc, I cast an eye around and wonder who are the 1 in 8. It makes me feel less "abnormal" (not the best word, but you know what I mean). Good for you for going back to work - that takes strength.
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Lol....We are all different creatures. I worked all through treatment and I was very open about it. I am a very visible person in the Company and knew that my physical changes and frequent absences would be noticed. So I figured I would rather have people hear it from me, as speculation is always worse than the truth, and feel free to talk to me about it. Besides...I had blonde, redhead and brunette wigs....kind of a giveaway.
At the end of treatment they had a "hat/wig day" for me where everybody in the office wore a hat or a wig (it was a surprise to me) to celebrate.....very fun.
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Bailey, it sounds like you work in a wonderfully positive environment!
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They're going to discharge me shortly. I've got to be honest I don't love the nurses here. I've had nausea and dizziness since my surgery Wednesday and things like being in a dirty gown for two days, no toilet paper in my bathroom, both bras they gave me are dirty - and I'm in one of them. They haven't cleaned my wounds today despite telling me to do it twice a day. Nurses disappear for long periods. Has anyone experienced nausea and vertigo post surgery? The doctor said it was a reaction to the pain meds, but I didn't have this issue after my mastectomy.
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My nausea was caused by my antibiotic and when he changed it the nausea stopped.
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Seems like my antibiotic said it could cause dizziness.....
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My nausea was caused by the antibiotic, Percocet and lack of enough food/water. Staying hydrated should help.
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Mine was also caused by my antibiotic, Minocycline. I couldn't eat or drink and became dehydrated. Visious cycle.
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Deb, people notice much less than you give them credit for. Your wig is awesome, you look great, your body is incredible, if they notice you are missing a eyelash, or two it would be a miracle. You are my hero. The way you have plowed through all this on top of the other crap going on in your life, you can do this too. It will probably be good for you. You got this and we got you!!!!
I get dizzy from certain antibiotics too, especially the strong ones like Cipro. Minocycline makes me feel like I am on another planet, but doxycycline I can take. Weird.
I am going to the pain management clinic tomorrow. I don't know why, except the appt was made and changed several times, and now I feel I need to show up. I don't have griping pain. What I have is more like extreme sensation...does that make any sense? The iron bra is so tight, but it is not what I would call pain. I really want to get off all medication that is not absolutely necessary, and I just know they are going to throw more pills at me. I don't remember the last time I had a real full nights sleep. I have gotten into bad habits of taking naps and staying up way to late, and doing things on my own schedule. I am going to start setting the alarm and get up like I am going to work, and there will be no napping. Wish me luck. I would go back to work, but what for, so I will have to stop again for my surgery? So, I will make a list of projects that need to be done around here, and start them. I really wanted to go back to tutoring kids up at the school, but I am afraid of germs right now. I loved that so much. Sorry, rambling. Had a glass of wine...lol
Kelly, sorry. It seems like you went from being very happy with the situation you were in to disgusted. Maybe it was just the people working today's shift? But, there is no excuse for the dirty bras, etc. I hope you can get home soon. Just as long as you're still feeling physically good, then the rest is trivial. A blip in your recovery.
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goldie...I hope you let the pain management people know about ALL your issues, and give them a chance to help sort things out for you. It might be they recommend meds, to get you on a more regular routine with less "sensation", or it could be different tools altogether!!! You have a ways to go before you have the flap surgery...might as well try to make it as good as possible. Stay positive!
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Thank Nihani.
I am not expecting any miracles tomorrow, but I am going with an open mind, and some positivity.
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that'a girl....give it a chance!
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Deb, get a defuzzer. Don't forget when you lost your hair it was before you were taking tamoxifen. Now, when it's growing back there might some surprises where you grow hair, but thank goodness for all the helpful things out here to get rid of unwanted hair. Hey, as long as you get it where you want it too, the rest is fixable.
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Saw my BS today - she's very happy with my noobs and is amazed at how taut and trim my tummy is! She agreed that a bone scan would be a good idea, so that's set for Thursday.
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Deb, my facial hair came back with a vengeance after chemo. I was worried it might stay that way, but I scheduled a very mild chemical peel, and the process begins with micro planing, which is basically shaving the dead skin cells and beard goes with it. Your normal light facial hair will come back, but not that heavy fuzz everywhere!
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goldie, good luck at your appointment today. It would be great if the doctor has some non-pharmaceutical suggestions to make.
Kelley, I'm so sorry your hospital experience has been so bad. Be sure to let your doctor know. Most doctors I know throw a fit if the nurses are not taking care of their patients. Ditto the above, the dizziness and nausea could be from the anesthesia, the pain killers, and/or the antibiotics. (Have your blood pressures been okay since surgery?) Hard to control those things because you needed/still need them. And I'm sure you had more anesthesia for recon than for mx. All I can suggest is to stay hydrated, take your pills with food, yogurt can help with tummy troubles from the antibiotics, and just give it time. Eventually the anesthesia will leave your body, you'll need less pain killers (eventually none), and you'll finish the antibiotic. If it's very bad you can ask the doctor about changing the antibiotic and/or the pain pills (I don't like to take dilaudid, it works well with pain but makes me nauseous). Be mindful that you don't fall when you get up! And welcome home!
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Goldie, hoping you have a good appt.
Lahela, I hope the bone scan gives you only reassurance.
Kelley, I'm sorry about your miserable hospital experience. It's good to be home and good to have a healthy boob! I had dizziness for awhile in the hospital and at home. I'm sure it was from the multitude of drugs in my system plus I developed pleural effusion (lung fluid) that didn't help. Stay hydrated and take deep breaths.
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Thanks everybody, getting ready to leave soon.
Zen, I love those micro derma planing facials. I use to go pretty often, but they have gotten very pricey. But, Deb...definitely worth it to get the fuzz off. Or, if you are really adventurous. it's really the same thing as having your whole face shaved. I know that sounds scary, but not really. With micro planing they take a very fine little scalpel and scrape it over your face gently to remove dead skin, and the fuzz comes with it. With shaving you take a find blade and scrape it over your face to remove hair, but dead skin comes with it. Same thing. But, if you say "shave" instead of "micro planing" women freak out because they believe the old wives tale that the hair grows back thicker. Not true.
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wax it a few times and it prolly won't grow back. Easy peasy
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Things are better today. Made it to the hotel and got a good night's sleep. I was feeling ok to walk down and eat breakfast downstairs but showering and changing dressings wiped me out - so back to bed! Overall the breasts look fantastic, it's a bit harder to see my tummy line, I'm so tight. Feeling very sure Dr. Sullivan was the best choice. I notice today that at the top of my left breast that there is a short "ridge" of what feels like hard, ropey tissue. Everything else is still soft and squishy. Is this normal?
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Kelley, that may just be the edge of the flap. Mine are quite easy to discern with my fingers. Glad to hear you're more upbeat today!
Thanks, Jeannie {hugs} Hope you're doing okay. Any progress with the eye? I don't recall when you will have your next appointment for that.
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Kelley, it must be so nice to be out of the hospital. Showering totally wiped me out for quite a few days after surgery.
Lahela, eye is the same. I see eye specialist next week......after MO and Gyno this week. Thanks for asking.
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Deb, what Dvygirl said! My experience with waxing is less comes back each time.
Well, pain management was pretty funny. Doc wrote the phrase "iron bra." Told me never heard it described like that. I do not have PMPS, which involves nerve pain and the burning skin sensation, which I had for a couple of weeks after bmx, but resolved itself. Evidently, for some women those sensations stick around. The only option they offered me was a new muscle relaxer, which I can't remember the name of right now, and bio feedback. I already own a bio feedback system, and haven't thought of trying it. The nurse that interviewed me afterwards said that I could come for a PT assessment and then take home what I learned and do it myself. It's a very pricey process if I went through the program, and it is not all covered by insurance. So, I will be talking it over with DH when he gets home, and we will decide if I should spend the money on the program, and the very long drive to get there twice a week, or take my new muscle relaxer and wait for surgery. The funny part was the doc asked me if I was depressed, and I said, " well, if you called extremely pissed off depressed, then I am depressed." He looked at me a little scared, and then I told him the whole story from beginning to end, and agreed that I should be pissed off.
Kelly, nothing like being sprung from the hospital, eating some real food, taking a shower and getting in a comfy bed!!!! Glad you are doing better today.
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