In shock

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  • websister
    websister Member Posts: 1,092
    edited January 2014

    Done! This time they took me right to the room with the machine they use for greater magnification, so I didn't have to go through the multiple sets of more pictures that was my experience the last two times. The tech has been there awhile, she had the radiologist look right away - radiologist says no change to the microcalcifications since June. On the side the tech said  'I am no good at hiding what I am thinking  or feeling - you didn't hear it from me but I think you would be wise to have the mastectomy your GP is advising for the left side'. 

    I will wait for results of genetic testing and also my discussion with the plastic surgeon who will do my reconstruction - apparently he has the longest waiting list in the city which is why I haven't heard anything yet. If I have reconstruction on the right, then I would do the left mastectomy with immediate reconstruction at the same time and be done with all of this. 

    Cici566 - I also am HER2 positive and it sounds as if our diagnosis is similar, I had 2 cm IDC and 7+ cm of DCIS with two lymph nodes positive for macro-metastases on the right side. I had a right mastectomy with axillary lymph node dissection June 29, 2012 followed by chemo, radiation and a year of Herceptin. I finished the Herceptin in October of 2013. It is a long haul but it is do-able, one day at a time. We are here for you if you have any questions or concerns or just want a listening ear. 

    ETHAN - we will be 'in your pockets' on Monday 

    Hope all are doing well, glad Benny messages you Edi :)

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Websister, glad it's over for you. I hope you do not have to wait too long for an appointment with the PS, or the surgery. At the stage where you're at now one just wants it to be over and done with. In the meantime, if it is the DIEP flap you are considering, nurture that tummy fat, okay? You will need it, sista!

    ETHAN, you are in the very worst stage of this ordeal, trust me. It gets better once the treatment plan is worked out, and you know what's going on. Big hugs to you!

  • Moviemaniac
    Moviemaniac Member Posts: 949
    edited January 2014

    Websister, glad for you it's over, but with Liefie on this one.....if it's DIEP you want......hang on to the tummy fat!

    Welcome newbies!   This is one of the best, most caring threads on BCO........sorry you had to join our club, but as has been said......the "first is the worst", and as you develop a treatment plan, you start to get your feet back under you.......(((hugs)))

    Edi.....SO nice you took time for your Mad Yank friend........she really appreciates it.....

    Nihahi, hope you are resting comfortably.........AND feeling ok!

    STILL hacking and coughing.....going to go back to bed......

    Love you ladies!  XO

  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited January 2014

    Hi Nerdy

    Websister, glad they moved you along quickly. You ladies who go through the Diep process leave me in awe. Eat lots of cookies and get that tummy. X

    Movie, LOVE my chats with my mad yank your energy astounds me, Mom plus DH and doggie all being seen to while you Skype. I just sit there drinking tea !!
    Hope that awful cough goes very soon.X

    Liefie, tried to get you again last night Sad for half an hour but gather that your Skype not connecting again ? Hope you are ok X

    My ED plus GD and her partner have gone off for a four day break to South Wales this morning. GD has her Daddy's old phone and is txt me throughout the journey. She is so funny, her spelling is amazing and improving every day, technology has its uses Happy

    We have an app which makes it all free so no big bills either.
    DH has decided to loose his spare tyre so eating really healthy from Monday ( got to eat up all the goodies first ) Off to supermarket to stock up on fruit, veg and healthy stuff.

    All you newbees out there, please do not despair if you go back to the beginning of this thread you will see how we have all been there where you are now. Love and laughter from these ladies will pull you along. Without them I would have given up long ago. Now I feel pretty normal Loopy BC still lurks in my mind but other things are taking over. Life IS good again and it will be for you. Happy

    Love and laughter to all my sisters XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Edi, my laptop is acting up again, or maybe it is just the operator who is so stupid. . . LOL. We'll figure it out over the weekend, and then we can hopefully connect next week. This is too ridiculous.

    Movie, I am willing that cough to leave you - please, cough, be gone!!!

    It is cold here. I have a hot water bottle in my lap to keep me toasty. Have not had any snow yet so far this winter. If we could be so lucky . . .

  • caitlin61
    caitlin61 Member Posts: 214
    edited January 2014

    Happy Weekend, Ladies!  Welcome to the new people - as others have mentioned, going through testing, and anxiously waiting for results, was the worst part of the whole journey so far for me.

    Glad to hear an update from Benny, Nihahi - hopefully she will check in herself soon.

    Morwenna, good luck with your run of appointments - it works a bit like that for me too.  Seeing my MO next week, but in about 3 months time I'll be seeing my MO, RO and BS for follow-up.

    Edi, that's great your DH is on a health kick!  My DH has also said he will join me in a weight loss effort - although he doesn't have to lose nearly as much as me - easier to stay on track when you're both on the same page!

    Websister, I can understand why you'd concerned about being put on the every 12 month follow up plan.  Also not good that you feel you were given the brush off re: your concerns.  I see my MO every 3 months, and expect that will continue for another year, at least.  Of course, was seeing him every 6 months anyway, before BC, because of my blood disorder. Currently, seeing both RO and BS every 6 months - they can both feel a "shelf" in my remaining breast, although nothing showed up on either mammogram or ultrasound - but they want to keep an eye on it (asked my BS if I could follow up with him every 6 months rather than every 12, since of my medical providers, I figure he is the most experienced in clinical exams).  Can you request closer follow up, Websister?

    I know some of you have expressed that you need to step away from breast cancer and BC.org for awhile, but I feel I'm not there yet.  I certainly took a break after finishing treatment, but ever since Carla's passing, BC has been pretty much front and center for me.  It doesn't help that I'm still having on/off pain in my left buttock/thigh.  Anyway, I'm putting your advice into action, Nihahi, and making sure I have things to look forward to in the not too distant future.  Visiting my Mum and sisters in Ottawa in February, then back to New Brunswick, Nova Scotia and hiking in Gros Morne National Park in Newfoundland in early July with my brother and family.  Also trying to up my fitness level and have set a goal of losing 1 pound per week.

    Love to you all!

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Caitlin and Websister, I hear you about the follow-ups. Saw my onc the last time in August 2012, and he did not give me any pointers re follow-up. My OB/GYN is following me up every 6 months for the endometrial ca I had, so I ask him for a mammogram referral every 6 months. Seems we are pretty much on our own now, and have to look after ourselves. The DIEP breast needs an ultrasound now as there is some breast tissue left around the edges, but can't be mammogrammed. So will have to ask the OB/GYN for that referral too. Fortunately he is a super guy, and has obliged me every time so far. Websister, can your fam. physician not do these referrals for you?

    Caitlin, 1 pound a week is good. Before you know it you will have lost a lot. I'm always telling myself it is a marathon,not a sprint, and that I have the rest of my life to do it.

    Happy Saturday to all! I'm not going anywhere - too wet. Will keep myself busy making soup, and tidying my house.

  • websister
    websister Member Posts: 1,092
    edited January 2014

    Caitlin - good for you, sounds like a very realistic goal and will add up quickly.

    Edi - how is DH doing with his healthy eating?

    Liefie - my GP can do the follow up, just find it all confusing. I was initially told my MO would be following me every six months for five years. It was my GP that ordered the mammogram I just had as she wasn't happy waiting a year with the calcifications seen on last one. My MO said last time it was my role to report symptoms and her role to follow up if necessary, but now when I reported some issues with heart arrhythmia post treatment, she said 'that is concerning, you should get it followed up', seems side effects of treatment she is not concerned with, only looking for mets or recurrence. I do have a good GP, just disappointed with MO.

    Hope all are staying warm, I had some quality time with Paisley yesterday so all is good :)

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    deja vu today, traii......I've been watching the Australian Open, and remembering that this time last year, it was me and the alien and the frozen peas. You.....were doing chemo and hanging on to your wig will running after your little guy....Isn't the passage of time wonderful!!!

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Passing of time is wonderful indeed. It heals on so many levels! Just this morning I was reminded again when we were invited to a party where we have to dress up like the 60's. Was breaking my head over this when I suddenly remembered my two wigs. DH (totally bald!) can wear the longer one with bell bottoms and a flowered shirt, and I'll do the shorter one in a typical crash helmet style for myself with thick black eyeliner and pale pink lipstick - LOL.

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    hahahahha....perfect liefie...gosh, you guys have quite the party life!

    What's your weather today....been a whiteout here since about 8:30 this morning, after a beautiful sunrise.

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Weather was actually quite nice, and we saw some sunshine too, so not bad at all. Just spoke to DS in Calgary; he often phones me on his drive home. As we were speaking, a few cars went into the ditch, and there was an accident too. He says people are simply driving too fast. You guys stay safe, okay? As for that party, maybe a set of false eyelashes will be in order to complete the picture? LOL.

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    We're good here. I never went out today, and Den came home at lunchtime, so he wouldn't have to be on the highway in the dark. 

    Are you doing the miniskirt look, with thigh high boots? .

  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited January 2014

    hi ladies !!! I am also watching the Australian open !! Traii- 100 degrees - yikes !!! I remember last watching with you girls too !!! Hope all is well still trucking along....... Muah :)

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Nihahi, you obviously have not seen my legs. They are at their best camouflaged in pants, or a maxi skirt. Hahahahaaa!

    I'm guessing the roads in Calgary will be like skating rinks this morning, eh? Hope my boy takes his own advice, and drives slowly as he works outside the city this week. Just look at me. He's a grown-up married man now, and mommy still worries about him. Will never change though.

    Websister, I think many of us have the 'disappointed' feeling about our MO's. Like we always read here, we are our own best advocates, and the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Don't stop squeaking.

  • Moviemaniac
    Moviemaniac Member Posts: 949
    edited January 2014

    Popping in to say hello to all of you lovely ladies.....still sick, but through antibiotics......maybe some relief soon? ( I hope!)

    Hope all are doing well.....I still think of you all, every day....even if I don't post......this thread is dear to my heart.....

    XO

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Movie, happy to hear from you, but so sorry you are still not well. Hoping those antibiotics will do their job quickly and effectively - Seattle is coming up really fast!

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    Gosh, Traii....just can't imagine how hot it is there!!!! They are really talking about the heat during the tennis broadcasts, and the news just now had some really sobering stories about the fires. Hope you and all you know stay safe.

  • caitlin61
    caitlin61 Member Posts: 214
    edited January 2014

    Hi Ladies - hope you all had a good week!

    Traii, surely your heat wave can't continue much longer - sending you cooling thoughts!  Let me tell you, it's plenty cool here today and about to get colder.

    Today is the anniversary of my mastectomy.  In some ways. It seems like a long time ago.  Saw my MO for 3 month follow-up today, and have to say I felt a bit like I was being the short shrift too, Websister.  I had a list of questions prepared and we walked through them.  Re: my buttock. hip, thigh pain, he said it's highly unlikely to be cancer and I shouldn't even be thinking about cancer at this point, but focusing on living my life - now there's a challenge!  It's true that I am hypersensitive about the pain/discomfort I'm having - constantly checking mentally to see if I can feel it.  He did say we may have to do an MRI "at some point" - I had an x-Ray that was clear in November.  At least I have the benefit of following up with the whole gang (MO again, RO and BS) in  another 3 to 4 months, since all three have somewhat different styles/approaches.

    Also asked him about Zometa, since I read on some of the other threads about it being used preventatively for people with Stage III.  He said this has not yet become standard of care but may well in the near future, at which point he would consider it an option to prescribe it.

    The big news is that my DH officially retired on Monday - hopefully that means we'll soon be living full time under the same roof.

    Have to somehow manage to head back out in the cold to go curling in a couple of hours.  At least DH is cooking, so I can have a bit of down time.  It's been a very hectic week at work.

    Happy weekend!

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    Caitlin....just popped in to say "hi". Those "anniversary dates" bring up some difficult/bittersweet memories, so sending you some hugs.....{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{X}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} .

    I know how difficult and unnerving it seems, to those of you coming to the "end of active/constant/focussed" care and followup. We've discussed before, how it feels like you are being "abandoned"......I guess there is no easy way to end one "mindset" and begin a new one. The cancer treatments and team are not designed to continue down every step of life paths with us. They do their thing, then, start cutting the apron strings....often long before it feels right to us.

    But, truly, from the voice of experience.... your thoughts and daily life WILL start letting you drift longer and farther away from the constant "awareness"....time does create spaces where we can more easily rebuild hope and confidence in the future. 

    I will say no more, because I understand how impossible that seems at the moment.......in years to come.....I'm confident, you'll all be passing that proof on to others.

  • Moviemaniac
    Moviemaniac Member Posts: 949
    edited January 2014

    Caitlin.....I guess we are close on our dates....my one year anniversary is tomorrow......and I "get" the fear of being left on your own.....since Onc didn't even want to give me Tamox. or the other one.....really scared me.....now, I am just kind of over it (read "sick of it").....I came really close to throwing a birthday party for my new DIEP "girls".....but thought that might be taking things a bit too far....

    I hope you find relief from your pain, and that your fears will subside......but I think you are wise to be your own advocate......that is the one thing I have learned on this journey.......

    Hope you have a fun time curling.....a sport I would like to figure out (like rugby....and cricket)!

    Hope all are well, and happy.....Nihahi, I assume you are back in Okotoks?

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited January 2014

    BULLETIN FROM GREAT FALLS MONTANA......

    I am alive, I am married.....AND THE SOCIAL SECURITY NOW OWES ME MONEY!!!!!!!

    How funny is that! Got here today, waited about 45 minutes until it was my turn at the "wicket"......sat down and started pleasantly explaining things....the gal behind the window just kept dropping her jaw farther and farther open....!!!! I lay out the letter from the IRS, the letter from SSA, my marriage certificate, my birth certificate, my passport, my previous tax returns......I'm running out of counter space...!!!!!!

    She fires up her computer....asks me the "identifying/verifying" questions....blinks at her screen for a minute....blinks at me for a few more minutes.....goes and gets her supervisor....! Now, their computer says I DID REGISTER A NAME CHANGE WITH THEM YEARS AGO!!! So they both stare at the computer screen, stare at the letter from them that says no, I'm still under my maiden name....back to the computer screen...call up another person to come chat.....jaws keep dropping open.....I'm actually still rather calm, (no eagle eyes yet) since it is becoming quite clear to them that I am alive, I did marry, I have been corresponding with the various govt. agencies for years in my married name, I have lots and lots of proof.....I'M NOT THE ONE WHO SCREWED UP HERE!!!!!

    Long story short....I have reams of letters to send on to the IRS with all kinds of official stamps, signatures and whatnot......so I'm happy and ready to leave. Then, she says....have you decided when you want to start collecting your SS??? No, I replied, I didn't work for 10 years in the states, so I'm not eligible. She then says....no, there is an agreement with Canada that factors the years you worked in Canada into the equation......so you are eligible for a bit of Social Security payments.....and since you are married....your husband gets some $$ too!!!!!!!!

    It's not much money, but after this ridiculous circus I've had to sort through...I decided...what the heck....so hubby and I are going to make it our "play money" fund....I'll be laughing at the IRS for the rest of my life!

    G'night from Great Falls....time for a glass of "celebration bevvie".

    movie....nope, we're here in GF for the night, maybe tomorrow night too, now that the pressure is off! Den can't sit in the car more than a couple hours without paying for it with back pain, and since it's almost a 6 hour drive from home to here, we had to break it up. Trying to "explore" Great Falls a bit, as a payoff for all the hassle.

  • Morwenna
    Morwenna Member Posts: 1,063
    edited January 2014

    So pleased to hear of your resurrection Nihahi!

    Live long, and prosper!! :D

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Caitlin, happy to hear DH will be home for good. Now when are you going to slow down?

    Nihahi, good for you that everything worked out fine, and with some money to boot. Don't spend it all there though - lol!

    Movie, happy that you're posting again. You are defo feeling better, and should concentrate on getting even better, eh?

    Where is Edi?

    DH baked a German hazelnut torte just now which came out wonderful. We will take it along to a friend's place tonight for dessert. Hope it all gets eaten there, and that the rest does not come back home. That temptation will be too much for flesh and blood. Since my return from S.A. I am having a really hard time to get motivated for exercise, and the healthy eating is also not so healthy. LOL.

  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited January 2014


    HiNerdy,
    Third time of posting all goes wrong !!Devil
    Have been reading no energy to type most days, never a minutes peace. Scared Interupted all the time then when I am left to own devises I fall asleep.
    Hope you are all ok ?
    Cool and sunny here, Sunday usual boring day, Sainsbury's for groceries for healthy stuff. DH sticking to it ,so fingers crossed.I have one naughty thing a day, i.e one cookie but have given up coke ( drink honest ) sweetners except natural YUK.NO red meat and more veggies.
    Helping out at local charity shop in the morning ,so hope it livens me up Winking
    GD is 7 tomorrow so all out for tea in New Brighton, her favourite place.She is out with her friend ( a boy ) and Mummy at local play place today.If we call him her boyfriend she goes off like a bottle of soda pop ha ha.
    Saw Jackpot last week she has had one week of rads.Only four to go Happy
    Like Caitlin I am still in blind panic mode, every ache ,and there are many, I plan the funeral, then thanks to Jackpot have found a survivors thread which really helps.
    Shedman poorly again so we are going to try and see him later.
    Praying that weather improves for all of us and quick.

    Nihahi, so glad you have risen again, super that you get some dosh ( cash ) too. Bet they blamed the computer ? That is all they do here, soft sods couldn't organise a pxxs up in a brewery.

    Liefie, any luck with flippin skype yet,? sent you a video message a couple of days ago. My DH made a great chicken stew this week. Lasted for two days, one with dumplings ( veggie ones ) Low fat and loads of lentils.

    Love each and everyone of you soooo much XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited January 2014

    GD on climbing wall today probably knocked " boyfriend off "


    Climbing princess

  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited January 2014

    Edi, good to 'see' you! Did not receive the video message, but I'm probably too stupid to notice it or to open it - lol. Honestly, this is becoming really embarrassing. Sent you e-mail last night. Skype still not wonderful, but managed to skype with the newlyweds yesterday, so there is hope. Both have put on weight after dieting for the wedding, and are looking,happy, relaxed and in love. My new DIL invited me for a visit, so Websister, Nihahi and Benny - be on notice. Will be in Calgary one of these days, and we'll plan something. Edi, can we perhaps beam you over?

    Okay, off to church. The rest of that cake fortunately did not make it home, so no temptation today. I just don't want to be so good all the time anymore. It's unnatural. My naughty side is catching up to me. LOL.

  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited January 2014

    hello ladies !!! How are u all !!! I miss u all !! Been busy with soccer and hockey but reading all the time !!! 

  • suedeere727
    suedeere727 Member Posts: 2
    edited January 2014

    Hi: I am so depressed. I start radiation this Tuesday and all I know is I am DCIS stage 0, but ER+/PR+, HER grade was high (that is what I was told) I had 2 tumors removed (lumpectomy left breast) 12-16-13 and the calfications. When I went to see the oncologist last week he said you need to go back to the radiologist so he can talk to the surgeon as the one margin on his paperwork stated positive. I went back to radiologist and he called the surgeon and she told him she got it all and evidently the pathologist was writing something up about whatever because the two tumors were apart. I am 63, no history of any cancer in our family except a male firt cousin who was in his 70's. Also myself, sister, and aunt have had basal cell on face but oncologist said no problem.  I have A Fib and on medicine as heart issues run in family on my fathers side. Sister had massive stroke at 63, brother at age 40 quadruple bipass has defibralator and high cholesterol runs in family as I have been on drugs for 31 years.  Oncologist gave me 2 meds to read about and techinically feels Raloxifene would be his choice.  I have basically no support and am the kind of person who tries to weather the storm herself meaning I think I can handle everything myself but any advice. 


     

  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited January 2014

    hi !!!! Welcome !!!! We will get u thru this don't worry. 

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