Cytoxan Taxotere Chemo Ladies- February/March 2013

Virginia, forgive me !!!!  Reading posts kind of backwards on iPhone & just read your post!!!! Thank goodness your MO is on top of this with you !!!!!  I am so so sorry you went through this.  Chemo is like a haunted house.  You don't know what will jump out at you next.  Let someone nurture you today!!!!  Amy ( momat)  

keep, melrose, sc, and Toni....thanks for your kind words....  It's a bit scary not to be getting 4 of the same treatment, but what can I do

keep- I was on steroids oral the day before and after chemo.  I got a drip steroid and Benadryl the day of chemo.  After chemo #2 I got redness at the infusion site, but it never spread...was just a big blotch on the back of my hand.  Chemo #3 was infused in my arm and no issues.  But the next day when I woke up I had a rash on my wrists.  MO looked and told me to just use hydrocortisone cream and it went away until this week when everything literally blew up....

Toni- I did the "red devil" in 2007 with very few SE's.  I worked throughout my chemo then.  My onc told me that TC was "easier" than AC....LOL not so much.

Still super super itchy everywhere, but my throat doesn't feel closed anymore and the swelling has gone down dramatically.....

Again, thanks for your kind words!!!!  

xo

SC. Yes that makes sense- private short term disability.  Hmmmm. Thought I had that via job. Off to investigate. Prefer that than any state or fed. Thanks momat

Audra and Moma - TY

I am hanging in there the worst is over - throat is good and swelling is 99% gone.  My MO is AMAZING.  I really love her.  She called me again today to check on me and was apologizing again for "doing this to me."

I just keep telling myself that most of my cancer was removed by the biopsy to keep me from freaking out about not having a 4th round of TC.

And with regards to support - it's truly fascinating how people react for sure.  I am lucky that my brother and sister have been truly amazing to me.  My sister was by my side the whole time the first time as was my dad.  My dad has since passed and my brother kind of stepped into the dad role (he's 11 years older than me).  My first round my bro never even called to see how I was.  I try to forget that b/c he's been truly amazing this time ferrying me into crazy Manhattan for numerous doctors appts.  And my sis, well, she is my ROCK.

I have just a few friends who check in consistently.  One coworker who hugged me and cried when I visited the office mast year sobbing to me "I can't believe "we" are going through this again" - not ONE call/text/message - nothing.  Many I heard from once maybe right around my surgery, but never again...  I think what others have stated pple just don't know what to do / say.  It basically helps you prioritize relationships for sure

Hugs and love to all......

SC-  just for a preview of being DONE....how are you feeling after round 4/?? 

Are you doing better?? Do you think mentally you are happy and thrilled and that makes 4th one easier/better?

Just wondering/..

That is wonderful SC!!!  SOOO Very happy for you!  I cannot wait, my last is 16!! 

Did you have PET scan before chemo too or ct scans??  I am wondering as it seems some get ct some pet....I got several CT scans of different parts of my body and MRI of chest so I had to go all day from one end of hospital to another...I am thinking it would be much easier to get the PET and be done....I wonder how / why they request one over another...I'm going to ask my MO...

Apparently, my MO does not believe in scans for follow up. The reason I am having it is because of my back and I asked for a full body scan. He will only do a scan if you have symptoms. One of the nurses in infusion accidentally did the tumor marker test and it was high. My MO said it was unreliable and would trigger 'unnecessary scans". I will forever be grateful to her. 

Melrose:  Thanks for the links about Hand&Foot syndrome.  I'd heard of it but ever thought to go back & research.  Since I'm on Adriamycin with my Cytoxan that would explain why all my fingers are cracking open.  And may mean that what I'm ascribing to CIPN from the Taxotere is partly Hand&Foot. (how can you say Hooray for an SE for heavens sake)

BTW - I didn't have near the SEs with Adriamycin that I did with Taxotere.  That Tax ate my lunch - literally - w/more than 2 weeks of the Big D every cycle & all food tasting like garbage.  Good luck to all of you with your current treatments.

Just have to share what I said to the guy I thought was my best friend.  A year after the BMX & exchange when I had heard NOT ONE WORD, I called him up one day after I'd tried to get over the hurt and when he answered I said "hey, it's not catching you know".  Of course he had a million excuses.  Only heard from him once afterwards when he needed help.  So I've written him off after a 20 year friendship - but it felt good to brace him.  Maybe I'm too cynical?

Audra:  Love your new avatar.

SC:  Holding you in my thoughts through the scan.

SC- That's right, its for your back pain...good thing you are getting checked all over though, I want a PET scan!  Praying all is well and those markers, I looked that up online the other day and read a ton about how they are always off and not accurate...so don't worry.

God has you in the palm of His hand!

minoustwo- hoping feet get better soon!

hugs SC - will be thinking of you tomorrow.  

Audra I like ur new pro pic - is that your wig?  It's very pretty!!!

Minus- I am with you!  Obv taxotere was very bad to me lol.  I didn't have as many SE's with AC chemo.  My onc told me from the start TC was "easier" than TC.  UGH

I still very itchy - my palms mostly today.  Do you all think this is the hand and foot thing?  I hope the abraxane is better to me lol. My swelling is 100% gone thankfully.  Yay for steroids!

VirginiaNJ -- Your reaction to your 3rd TC tx sounds exactly like mine (if you do a search on my name you can read all my posts on it).  Interesting that our dxs are so similar too....  My MO was considering Abraxane or Gemzar with my 4th treatment and wanted to break up the two drugs to just make sure it was not a reaction to Cytoxan and to make the treatment a little milder.  But I was scared, like you, and also did some talking to my PCP about i t ( he encouraged me to stop and "not to tempt fate").  Ultimately I decided to just stop after the Cytoxan and not get the other half of the 4th tx.  I just was not comfortable getting a new drug with unknown SEs, and I felt the risk outweighed the little bit of benefit it might give me,  My MO was fine with that decision.  Good luck to you, hoping you make it through tx 4 without any trouble!  ((((Hugs))))

VirginiaNJ- you went through my worst fear!! Sorry you had such a bad reaction. My nurse said if you don't have any reaction after #2 your good to go. Ugh! So much for that!! On day 2 from 1st treatment and so far feeling good. Feel like I might start floating from the 50 ounces of water I've guzzled but I'm one of those believers it helps flush out the crap and you won't have as many SE's. Yea probably not, but let me believe. Lol! Keep you posted if I've drowned the SE's. Hugs. 

Kbee! Great to hear from you.

Getting a little anxious about my PET scan, but will be leaving with the Xanac. Thanks for your support. I have to fast for 6 hours so I'm done eating right now.

Went to the LIVESTRONG program at the YMCA yesterday it was great, its a free strength and conditioning program for people who had/have cancer, 12 weeks. They are all over the country, ladies check if they have one near you.

Hi all!

SC - praying for you today...you can and will get through it!  You are a tough cookie!

Thanks for the nice comments on the new wig.  I like it. Never really had short hair before but figured it will be short when it grows so that might be a good transition.  It does make my head itch though...and poke...take it off immediately when I get home.

I have felt good the last week- and I have one more before last chemo!  So this is unusual...and nice.!  The nuelasta didn't hurt me at all this time either...so all in all round 3 was good to me.  I have been having bloody nose the last 3 days, gushers...but that might be the cold weather and dry heat...even though I turn it to 62 at night in our area for my hot flashes!! My normally warm husband is freezing!  But he says he is OK and leave at 62...I think he is a saint!

Saw the new counselor yesterday, he has Masters in divinity and PHD...I liked him, very straightforward and seemed to know what he was doing and like he had a plan to help me get through anxiety or negative thoughts...

He told me to do 2 things until next appointment

1.  Live in the now- do not think of future or past negative thoughts at all- live today and redirect myself when starting to worry about past or future things - I can plan future happy things or think happy remembrances but no going over diagnosis or worrying of reoccurrence ,etc.

2. Whenever a negative thought comes to mind or a thought that produces 'suffering' or going down to the dark side, he said to replace it with a good thought, or bible verse or something encouraging!!!

So that was it for yesterday, but he said tons of good methods to train your brain to not go there and be positive!!!

Also it was encouraging that he said all of these thoughts are normal and all people with an ailment or prolonged disease and especially cancer patients all experience these thoughts and worries and we are supposed to, not normal to suppress them or act like all is OK when obviously your whole lifestyle and body has changed....

So THAT made me feel good too...

It's been a while since I've posted. I am now 5 weeks post-chemo and am having an annoying side effect that I wondered if anyone else is having. (It started to show up about 2 weeks post-chemo.) Both of my big toes are very painful, especially around the outer edges of the nails. I'm wondering if this is the start of the toenails separating from the nail bed that I've heard of. There are no other changes to my nails, just the big toe pain. I'm having trouble finding shoes that are comfortable, and it's so cold I can't wear sandals. Anyone else having this? On the positive side - I'm finally starting to see hair growth!

I've moved on to radiation. Just finished my 7th treatment out of 25. It's going well, but I'm starting to notice redness and some swelling/soreness.

I hope you're all doing well with the chemo. It gets better soon!