DIEP 2013

I'm on the tamoxifen and have not noted hair loss, and I am still having hair come back in from chemo (ended in July).  I had beginnings of hot flashes at night prior to chemo.  Chemo/tamoxifen has stopped my periods.  I have not flashes at night (but did before tamoxifen). I take mine in the am.  Of course the menopause gives a bunch of side effects (vaginal dryness comes to mind) so you could say it is from tamoxifen because it put you into menopause but that's a stretch if you ask me.

Good looking out now, by the time you are done with the other treatments you will know the exact questions for your doctors

Pat!

Janet, that made me laugh.  The four footed girls are much cuter than my breasts.  

I'm starting to have a size complex after seeing the NOLA ladies on the picture forum.  I had quite a bit of belly fat but have much smaller, or less full, breasts than most of the recent pictures I have seen.  If my breast bone was not so prominent I would be fine with them.  I will try the fat grafting until it works, or insurance stops paying for it.

Jeannie, we are up to 20 F degrees.  Schools are still cancelled for today.  I don't think the roads are in too good of shape.  Michigan was much better prepared for this type of weather than Indianapolis seems to be.

Liza and Maggie are much happier with this warmer weather!  Have a great day everyone...

jbloom,  are your foobs smaller than your real ones?  I know some people want bigger, some want smaller.  It's all a matter of what's most comfortable.  But, no complex's!!!!  I am sure you look great!!!!  We are our own worst critics. 

I must have missed Janet's joke.  Will have to go back to look.

Nancy, the picture forum people will want you to have more seniority (for lack of a better word) on BCO before they give you admittance to the picture forum.  Sorry.  

Jeannie, so sorry to hear about your friend/former neighbor. I hate cancer... it makes me sick to think about it. Also reminds me, I'd better live it up now, there's no guarantees...

Ridley - congrats on being drain free! A big step towards getting back to feeling normal.

I was just thinking that my tummy occasionally still feels like it has a metal plate sewn to it.  Not often, but it's there.

Jeannie, I hate hearing news such as your neighbor's.  I'm with Christina--it makes me sick just to think about it.  Damn cancer.

Goldie, they are definitely smaller.  That's okay because my DDs were headed south. The things that bothers me the most are the divots above the foobs.  They make the breast bone look more prominent than it did before.  I'm sure fat grafting can help.  However I think all of it went away that was done during my stage II.  I would still do it again in a heart beat.

I just started the 30 day plank challenge with my DD.  20 seconds is tough and it feels weird with all the tightness and the lipo incisions.  I'm not sure why I'm doing this except my DD thought it would be fun.  Maybe it will strengthen my muscles. 

I have to go for mammo and ultrasound on good breast tomorrow.  I feel like canceling!  I am so tired of little stuff constantly coming up.  In the last 2 years I have had two biopsies on this breast.  I'm about ready to just ask for room over there.  Although, they have never seen cancer on any of my mammos, so maybe it will be just fine.

I had the most sad and awkward visit with my gyno today.  The waiting room was filled with real flower arrangements, and I thought that was weird, but stopped thinking about it once I got in the exam room.  Why do we all HATE that silly pap smear?  I always go at the beginning of the year to get it out of the way like it's the worst chore in the world.  Anyway, my doc is female and has a fairly heavy accent, and she is chatting away about that she came in today because she is always so glad to see me, but everybody is upset with her about coming back to work so soon, but she is so glad I am cancer free, blah blah blah.  I said I believed in destiny and that is why my cancer was found when they were looking for something else, and she says, "yes, that is what I kept telling myself during the funeral." Then it all hit me, flowers, she was way too chatty and weird, and then the funeral statement, finally after a few more exchanges it comes out her only son was killed xmas eve.  OMG.....but she didn't want to disappoint me because I have been through enough!!!!  That is way she didn't cancel her day?!!!!  This poor women is in shock, and I wanted to scream at everybody in her office, "get her some help, stop the madness.!!!!"  Everybody is scared of her.  She is a tough, straight forward, no nonsense doctor that nobody would try to even tell her what to do.  The nurses at the hospital hate to see her coming.  My heart was breaking for her.  Just breaking.  And, the next thing you know I am telling her what to do, and how she must grieve and not just buck up and get on with it.  She has to give herself time, blah blah blah. But, I could see she was shut down, and when she finally let's it out it going to be a landslide of pain. 

I also dropped my abdominal CAT scan off with Kuka at my new PS office.  I am praying he thinks I have good vessels.  I already warned them the about the incidentalomas on the liver, and to ignore them.  Not going through that again!!!!!!  

Jbloom, it couldn't hurt to try the fat grafting again.  Mine didn't take much at all, if any.  UGH.

Mamma, we both have dreaded appts!  Hope yours is less eventful than mine. I am also trying the plank thing several times a day.  Much harder than it looks.  The schedule my DIL gave me gets you up to 2 minutes....ha

Thanks for all the input on the tummy tightness.  It will be what it is, I guess.

Goldie, how horrible for your gyno. Some people have to keep moving and working just to get through the shock of it all. My husband did that when his son passed away 2 years ago. I had no idea what to do for him. It's still tough. I just hold his hand and let him know I'm here. Ugh!

On a much lighter note, my bone scan came out clean so I am green lights to my hyster / ooph on the 17th then today made my appts in Seattle for consults with BS and PS for my prophy mx on my raining side and immediate bilat DIEP. SO FRICKEN excited right now!!! Jeannie57, who did you go to? I'm seeing Calhoun and Louie...

Dvygirl....everything is falling into place.  Yeah!!!  Maybe you and I will be doing this together. I am scheduled for June 2, God willing.

I am so happy for you clean tests!!!!  Doesn't that make you feel lighter than air when you get good results?

Bluebird, I think that sucks because fudging the statistics will mean his future patients won't be fully informed.

Sharon, all the best for your PS visit - hopefully he can find your nipple!!!

Dyvgrl - three cheers for a clean bone scan and being able to organise your surgeries! It must feel great to take such significant steps forward in your recovery!

rhg, you are absolutely right.  That is probably what she is doing.  It's too painful for her right now.  And, I did do the same thing as you after my dx.  I went some place else.  It was like it was happening to somebody else.  Thank you for the explanation.  What do they say about the four stages of grief?  Isn't the first stage denial?

Nihahi, gentle healing thoughts coming at you!

Got my pathology report back...not good news they found invasive cancer in my left breast again (same one as 2005).  It is er-,pr-,her2- this time.  It is .9 cm.  Chemo is in my future again.

Breast surgeon is referring me back to my regular oncologist.  I F*****ING HATE CANCER!

Michele