Starting Chemo, November 2013 Group

wallymama : yes just go outside and scream. That's what I had to do I was so sick and tired of feeling yucky

Ellen, I think you are on to something. I had a very stressful time in my life that lasted nearly a year. I thought I did well to keep the stress at a minimum and learned to divert my attentions to other things, but then I was diagnosed.

And yes, I think the timing of your mammogram was perfect.

Ellen, I definitely agree about stress contributing to my cancer, and mine was discovered in a very serendipitous way too.  

My MO said it likely had been growing for years, but my mammo in late 2012 was clear, and my PCP felt nothing last May.  I went to him in August because a bone spur on my foot was hurting and he wouldn't give me a referral directly to the foot doctor.  While I was there, annoyed that I had to see him, I had him check my left breast because it felt a little different from my right breast.  I never would have gone to him just for that, and I would have gone on undiagnosed for who knows how long since mine wasn't detectable by mammo.   

Also, we had MAJOR stress in our lives starting in the fall of 2012 when our DD's depression came to a head and she needed to come home from college.  Helping her through that made me grow a lot emotionally which probably is helping me now, but I know the fear I had for her helped the cancer grow.  

It's funny; I used to be a walking ball of anxiety full of worry about little things in the future.  I'm oddly much calmer now, as if the worst is happening and it's a relief.  But I'm still keeping a bottle of Ativan on hand

Wallymama and Tonilee, good luck riding through the SEs.  I'm in the BGC tomorrow and will be joining you Friday when the Decadron wears off.  

Smrlvr, we have a weird number of things in common!  I'm sorry if I asked before, but are you doing Taxol too?

Smrlvr, you can do it!  For me, I wasn't mentally prepared for it.  Everyone and everything I read said it was easier than AC, so my expectations were way too high.  I took "easier" to mean "easy," especially when the day after I was full of energy and feeling fabulous from Decadron.  I do think it is easier overall, but it's different.  For me, I only experienced aches and general flu-ish stuff, and that started and got better over a period of about 6 days.  But that may be as much from Neulasta as anything else.  I'm so curious to find out today if I'll need Neulasta this time.  I'm preparing for an HGTV binge regardless.  Now I'm remembering -- you're doing weekly x 12, right?  If it's only achiness you get, then that's supposed to be much better with weekly.  You can do it!

Smrlvr, I wondering who I'm remembering?  Northwinds?  Oh, well.  I'm just ahead of you with things by a couple weeks.  If my blood counts are good, I'm hoping to start radiation late February and be done by April.  Are you taking off the whole school year, or are you trying to go back during/after rads?  (I think you said somewhere earlier...can't remember!)

Off to the lab and to see the NP for pre-chemo stuff...

Come to think of it, the past three years has been a pretty stressful time for me too. Hubby lost a job and out of work for two years. Mother dying. Hubby totaled a car and got injured. House broken into twice. Daughter fighting depression and trying to do it without the meds that help her. Company I work for going to hell in a handbasket. I used to think that I was the kind who didn't let things bother me too much but maybe I was wrong. Perhaps all of it added together did contribute at least to it's explosive growth. My mammogram in 2012 was clear, except they thought they saw something on the left so did another one then an ultrasound. Both were clear. Seventeen months later there was a 8 centimeter mass in the right. I guess we all have to try to somehow get stress out of us. Not sure how, but surely there's something we can do.

Not feeling as bad today as last go round. Tired and just a slightly fuzzy feeling. Bec, hope you do great today and have slight to non SEs. Toni maybe it won't be as bad this time. Here's hoping anyway.

I asked a friend that works at our local university and organizes seminars on women's issues (ie cancer, abuse etc.) to do some research for me on survival rates mas vs lump, a couple of drugs I read about,  and something else I can't even remember Hoping he can find some information to help me make a decision one way or the other. And I just talked about getting rid of stress. Although surgery won't be until mid May at the earliest, I feel like I should get the decision made so I can consult with the BS and a plastic surgeon if needed. I really don't know what the best option is for me. On one hand I feel like even a marginally better survival rate with a mast is better, but on the other hand I don't know if I want to go through the extra surgeries because not getting recon doesn't seem like something I want. Oh, well, I'm sure that this week is no the best time to even think about it so it's off the table for now.

Best wishes for everyone. And try to stay WARM. Such a lovely word, isn't it? 

Jab: Are you also going to have rads? When will you have the reconstruction? I am wondering if it's not already too late for the flu shot since we are doing chemo?

Re: mammograms: I had my mammogram done last August, but I was basically overdue by about 4 months from my annual check up.  I wonder if I went to get my mammogram as scheduled in April would it have shown anything? Perhaps, like you Ellen, the delay in the mammogram was essentially a good thing because it could have been missed for another year by which time it could have been too late. My mom believes that the delay was a life saver. 

BTW, I started to do my annual check ups three years ago after they found a benign fibroadenoma in my left breast and they wanted to keep an eye on it.

hi everyone! I hope everyone is pressing on well! My blood count dropped again so I'm going to the hospital in morning for a blood transfusion. Hopefully I'll feel better and can read and update job when that's done! You're in my prayers much! t're!!!its cold in Florida. ..I feel for yall to the north...be warm! think Tahiti!!! thats where were gonna meet.....right!!!???

Good morning all! I'm feeling better this morning than I have following any of the other treatments. It's amazing since I thought that the fatigue would only get worse.

It occurred to me this morning that we may spend way too much talking about our problems. Not to make light of any of them at all. This forum has been an amazing help for all of us. I just wonder if we discuss the SEs so much that maybe we actually psyche ourselves into some of them. The mind is a powerful thing. So how about we spend just one day talking about our real lives? You know, before everything was turned upside down. Our families, our jobs, our hobbies. Anything that causes a pleasant memory. But NO BC.

I really don't like my job all that much, so that's out for me. But I could talk about my granddaughters all day long. The youngest turns seven tomorrow, I can't believe she's that old already. The older one is ten. She's competing in her school's spelling bee later today. She came in third last year, which was pretty darn good considering she was a fourth grader competing against fifth graders. Not to brag too much, but she is really much too smart for her own good. Her emotional growth has never been able to keep up with her intellect, and it's caused quite a few problems for the poor baby. I keep hoping that she'll catch up emotionally, but the intellect just keeps out pacing it. The younger one is no slouch on smarts either, but she's not quite as bright as her sister. But her personality is much better. Maybe it's because she doesn't have to struggle with being way to smart. Just smart enough.

Reading is my main hobby. I have several others that I dabble in, and several others I would like to take up. But reading is and always will be tops. And I read anything. Books, magazines, the back of the cereal box. If there's printed words on something I read it. Gardening is probably my second choice. I find that working in the yard is one of the most relaxing things in the world. To get a beautiful flower to grow, or to grow something delicious to eat is just such a rewarding thing. That's one reason, besides the blasted cold, I dislike winter so much. Everything's brown and dead. But it will come back eventually.

Okay, enough for now. Hope everyone's good today.

Yeah Ellen! I'm soooo glad that you found something to lift your spirits!

I think the gods of BC and SEs were pissed about my post. My internet went down just as soon as I submitted it and I had to spend 45 minutes on the phone with our provider to get it reset. But I don't care. They can be pissed. We could all use a day without them sitting on our shoulders (or chests for that matter). I feel too good today to even think about them. If tonight wasn't hubbys gym tonight I'd make him take me out somewhere. But he enjoys his Kem-po (?) class too much to ask him to skip. So after dinner I'll just build a nice fire, gather the dogs, and read another book. Until then I'll just play computer games, and try to do a little bit around the house. Anything but be a patient.

Paloverde, I had Decadron with each AC infusion, then I took it for the next three days at home as well.  

Changing gears...Wallymama, I like your idea!  I had been pondering the same thoughts.  We all know what brought us together, but there's so much more to each of us than SEs!  

Let's see...I'm 48, married for 21 years, three kids, one cat, seven fish.  DH and I met when we worked in Washington, D.C., on Capitol Hill, even though we're both from California.  We knew we would marry and have kids, so it made sense for us to have his career to take the lead.  When the politician he worked for won a statewide election, we moved to Sacramento and have been here since.  I worked in our Capitol for awhile, then I stayed home raising the kids.  When our youngest started kindergarten, a friend who was teaching ESL for a local school district asked if I wanted a job babysitting kids of her students while the parents were in her class.  Fast forwarding a bit, I've now been with that school district's adult education school for nearly 8 years.  I work with high school dropouts who want their second chance, mostly tutoring GED and high school credit deficient adult students in math.  I couldn't love it more!  I work with eager students and fabulous teachers, and the school has supported me unequivocally while I've been out on leave this year.  I can't wait to get back, hopefully in April but certainly by August.   

Our kids are 19, 17, and 13 (13 1/2 as of today -- still a big deal because we celebrate 1/2 birthdays with donuts!).  DD is the 19 year old and is in college about 2 1/2 hours away.  She struggled with depression her first year but is having a do-over this year and is thriving, thank goodness.  DS is a high school senior and will head of to college this fall, location TBA.  He came home yesterday and said he thought he should changed his calculus class to pass/fail because he might be getting a C this semester and that wouldn't look good on a transcript.  First I said, I didn't even know you could do p/f in high school, and second, EVERYONE knows taking something p/f means you were going to get a C or D!  Arghhhhhh.  He's a great (very strategic) kid and is turning into a man right in front of my eyes.  Youngest DS is finishing middle school this year and is our sensitive kid who loves creating beautiful things, from succulent gardens to fish tanks to arrangements on bookshelves.   He loves when I binge watch HGTV.  

I'm struggling to come up with hobbies for me!  I'm known for being super organized, and I guess for me that comes at the expense of being creative.  I love to cook, but I'm a recipe follower for sure.  DH opens the refrigerator and creates; I get out a recipe and follow it to the letter.  (But both turn out well, I must add!)  I like to garden and love a good pruning project.  It was SO nice to have loppers in my hand last weekend, hacking away at the crape myrtle!  I like to read and wish I read more.  I can do the NYT crosswords on Mondays and Tuesdays, but I have to cheat the rest of the week.   Probably the thing I spend most of my free time on -- whatever is left with DH and two kids still at home -- is walking.  I LOVE to walk, and I go for daily 3-4 mile walks on the river levee.  It started out about 15 years ago as a way to fend off osteoporosis, but it has turned into mental health maintenance just as much.  

Whew!  If anyone hung on long enough to read all that, kudos to you for your stamina!  I guess it does pretty much sum me up.  Now, I'm off to get the donuts then go for a walk.  Thanks, Wallymama!

Wallymama, I love your kitchen! I'm the same way! I'm even crazy OCD with utensil canisters -- one for scrapers and whisks, one for spatulas, and one for spoons and ladles. Do not mix them up or we'll have to have a talk. Re baking and having to stick with the recipe, I think that's why DH won't bake.

I'm 43 and been married for 4 yrs.  I did a lot of the raising my sister since I was 12, so I felt I already "had a child".  She was an easy child, biomechanical engineer and works for NASA.  I don't think I could do any better than that.    My sister gave me the nickname BigT when she was 3.  She was learning about the letter T and realized at the time my miniature poodle's name also started with T.  So I became BigT and the dog was small T.  My sister still calls me BigT and she's 31 now.

 My husband has 3 kids who don't communicate with him. 

I'm a clinical exercise physiologist and work in cardiology.  I met my husband on my 3rd mountain bike ride.   I do both road and mountain bike.  I also enjoy martial arts(Shaolin-Kempo Karate) and weight lifting. 

I also photograph.  In my club last year I won the best of the year photo for the beginner class. 

Since BLEEP,  I can't do a lot of my physical activities.  I started playing my guitar again. I haven't really played the guitar since I was a kid.  I've been considering taking some lessons.