In shock

Adagio, have an amazing Hawian adventure. Green with envy. X

Websister, defo in those pockets with you next week. Happy hibernating X

Jackpot, looking forward. To catchup Monday. X

Traii, keep well and happy x

Off to panto with daughters and Gd's more excited than the. Ha ha. X

Movie hope you healing quickly X

 love to you all.

Hi ,
Everyone sounds happy and moving forward.

Websister, get BIG pockets we will all be there. Hope your weather improving. We went to panto yesterday where our dreadful floods happened last month and all so normal now. Even the childrens on the beach boat that was destroyed has been rebuilt. There was a threat again this week but it didnt happen here, other parts of England getting battered instead. Whole cliff faces being washed away
People are told to keep away but NO, lovely young man has been missing for days after going to take photos of the waves.A man was holding his toddler above his head to see the waves and one huge one engilfed them both, thank goodness they survived but have they no brains ?

Nihahi, glad you still out there  Give our Benny love, hugs and convince her life is worth living and we miss her so.If anyone can lift her spirits YOU can.BIG pockets for you too. I am bringing tea and cucumber sandwiches.

Movie, ((( HUGS )))

Liefie, hope you all settled back and recovered from that GORGEOUS wedding.

Went to supermarket this morning, DH cleaned and polished whole of downstairs even steam mopped !! Said he loved it, now his job ha ha, lets see how long it lasts.

Better get a wiggle on, visitors this afternoon and for once I don't feel the need to go to sleepChicken roasting, spuds, spring greens and carrots in pans plus apple strudel and custard for afters ready to be baked. I am on a ROLL.

Be good and if you can't be good be CAREFUL X

Websister thanks. Panto is pantomine, musical and comedy version of Jack and the Beanstalk. Lots of gorgeous costumes, singing and dancing, lots of laughter and the kids adore it. We saw Peter Pan last year and ED is going to book for next January as soon as possible. Xmas tradition here, quite often famous stars of tv are in it.Think the adults enjoy it just as much.

Visitors gone dinner was enjoyed even though I slightly burned the Yorkshire puddings  fighting to stay awake now, think I may have overdone it  Will behave tomorrow.

Love to all X

Just found this pic taken 38 years ago Me and Ed.  Youngest GD's Mom where did the years go ????
My spectacles look like TV screens ha ha.

happy new year everyone !!!! It's been a crazy couple if weeks !!!! Hockey still going string and now indoor soccer has started !!!!! Feeling great hope you all are too !!!! Love to all !!! Muah

Bennymuffins-   

That is exactly how I felt.  Shock seems too small a word for what you are feeling.  And the nightmare feeling-  boy do I know that all too well.  Every day when I would wake up I would have a millisecond where I wondered if it was all just a nightmare.  Even during the day I would think that maybe it wasn't real.  Or that the doctors would say they messed up.  And I wouldn't even be mad at them.  Just give me my health back and no hard feelings.  That's called magical thinking.  I guess it's our brain's way of trying to cope with this bomb that has been dropped on you.  I am not going to sugar coat anything because that's what I wanted-  the truth.  The next few months will be extremely difficult.  I had times after surgery and when I was going through chemo that I just wanted someone to put me out of my misery.  But now-  and I am only 5 months since my last chemo-  I feel absolutely great.  Better than ever.  When I think about last summer it's still like a bad dream.  But it's over now.  You'll get a lot of advice on here from lots of different people and that's what's so good about places like this.  If what I tell you bothers you, then chances are the next person will have something to tell you that makes you feel better.  What helped me was hearing from people that went through it, admitted it was awful, but then got to be happy and feel good again.  Right now, I do need a revision surgery on my mastectomy reconstruction, and my hair is still crew cut short, but other than that, I am happier than ever to be alive.  You can and will get through this.  You will have times of doubt and fear.   If you're like me, you'll have more than just crying, you'll have absolute wailing on the bathroom floor.  But then it's over.  Everyone will have times like these in their life.  This is yours.  Know that there is happiness and fun and feeling good and looking pretty on the other side.  We are all here for you.  Post every time you are scared or worried or lonely and someone will make you feel better.  

xoxoxoxo  to all of you on this crazy journey!

Just a quick drop in to say I'll be joining your pocket parties tomorrow, Websister and Nihahi.  Hope all goes well for both of you.

I looked up the wedding photos too, Liefie - beautiful couple and looks like everybody had a great time.

Movie, hope you are on the mend - those respiratory things can take forever to shake.  

So jealous of you being in Hawaii, Adagio - you'll have to post some photos so we can all bask in the warmth - or at least dream of it!  We're just recovering from a major storm, by Indiana standards - a foot of snow, with temps as low as -14F (and windchill of -40).  We actually had a snow day yesterday, which is pretty much unheard of at my company.

Edi, loved you photo from yesteryear - you were cool then and still are!!  So nice that you were able to meet up with Jackpot!

Hoping everybody else is doing well!

You are both beautiful!!

Hi Bennymuffins,  This is a terrible place to be right now.  I found my lump on Dec 3 and I am going into surgery next tuesday the 14th.  My mind has gone to all the dark places and then I come back and I know that I can be cancer free.  I have read through all of these stories of these amazing strong women and I know that I and you can do it too.  This is such a hard time because information is slow coming.  Every time I turned around this past month more tests were being ordered.  As scary as that is, I just kept thinking that they were being thorough to better understand what was going on and how to best treat me.  So far what I know, is I have a lump that is 2 cm.  It IDC,  There is a lot of cancer cellls around the tumor that are loose that are making the whole area 8 cm.  When I heard that I really started freaking out but the tumor is not that size.  I have a lymph node that has cancer in it.  I am her2+ which means it is an aggressive cancer.  I have had a bone scan, ct scan for abdomen, and ct scan for chest.  Everything came back clear.  That is great news.  I am having a masectomy and I have decided to have the other breast removed as well.  I will follow up with chemo and then radiation and reconstruction.  I am visualizing the cancer completely leaving my body when I go in for surgery. I have had a couple of horrible days because we finally told my children (12 and 9) what was going on. but today I am making myself think positive until I get to surgery.  I am taking control of what I can until then.  Personally, I have stayed away from the internet except for the discussion board.  Do you have a friend that could look up things for you?  I have done that.  I think it is a little less scary and overwhelming.  

This is the hardest place to be right now.  Stay strong and stay in the moment.  I find it helps to find humor. I wish you well.

you got this girlfriend we are here and happy to help

Cici, welcome here. You will find all the support and encouragement here that you need. I was diagnosed in Dec. 2011 with a tumour almost the size of yours, and one positive lymph node. Mastectomy followed, then chemo, rads and reconstruction surgery. Today I'm out on the other side, healthy, happy, and back to normal. You will get there too - THIS TOO SHALL PASS! Repeat this to yourself as often as necessary.

Nihahi, not long to wait now. Big hugs, sista!

Edi, looking forward to skype later. Still in my pj's - better get dressed. Went to gym for the first time yesterday after my 6 weeks' 'leave', and I'm sore from my shoulders to my knees this morning, so not very limber today. LOL. You and Jackpot are beautiful, and I'm sure you had a lovely time together.

Benny, so sorry to hear about the pneumonitis, and hope it will be a thing of the past soon. We really, really miss you here - how are the chickens? And that orange fluffball?

Hi everyone, old and new!

I, like Nihahi, am currently trying to reduce the impact of CANCER on my life, and in an attempt to cut it down to size, I have taken bc.org off my favourites list.

Not to say I won't pop in from time to time, but no longer as a daily habit! 

That said, along with Nihahi and Websister, I am currently having a run of medical appts that tend to bring it to the fore.... MUGA heart scan Monday, bruised to bits as they took 7 pokes to get a vein!! Today follow up with MO .... I'm surprised I didn't bump into Websister, as we were there at the same time! They tell me there is no sign of cancer in my remaining breast. I tell them I am not convinced, and planning a prophylactic Mx anyway. Weekly blood draws at present as my INR is like a bloody rollercoaster.

Jan 20th, I see a plastic surgeon for initial consult. Feb 9th I see the lymphedema girls. I'm having to wear my sleeve and glove on a daily basis at present, which is a pain.

On a happier note, next Tuesday I have an interview for a possible career change! And Feb 3, I have an introduction to the world of the Sistership Dragon Boat Race team!! Also next Tuesday evening we have our Open House at chorus, so do join us *nudges Websister*

OK, that's my news for now. Onward and Upward!!! xxx

Hi

Sun is shining here a bit so makes you feel cheerful.

Like the others I am going to move on using GIANT steps but will also pop in and out.

Liefie, that time is good for me at the moment. Hope Skype connects X

Morwenna, good luck with all those appointments. X

Nihahi, thanks for update on dear Benny, had a pm from her on f/b but was still concerned. Hope her spirits lift soon. onwards and upwards X

Love to all X

hugs to the new members, that initial period of time after diagnosis is one of the hardest parts 

Morwenna - wow, we must have just missed each other, no one in waiting area as I sat there patiently waiting for my appointment yesterday. I do not feel listened to by my MO or her nurse, very nice people but they brushed off every concern I wanted to discuss and I am told that if this mammogram today (in waiting area as I write) is OK then I will be bumped to every 12 months for MO visits. When I look at the surveillance some others from the US are receiving it makes me wonder - also makes me realize I have to be ever vigilant myself while still trying to move on with my life. Feeling the usual apprehension as I sit here and wait re: mammogram, lots of only memories stirring but hopefully as time goes on this process also will become easier

Take care everyone

Ethan - can certainly identify with wanting to run away! Have felt like it many many times myself. Do you know which chemo drugs you are going to get?  Are you triple negative? Perhaps you can post your stats from your lab report so that we can be of more help. Good luck with chemo - all the ladies her will be helpful since we have all been there - it is not pleasant, but it is manageable most of the time. Look after yourself and rest when you need to - take short walks outside every day and drink lots of fluids. I drank a lot of lemon ginger tea with honey in it.